by Leigh Duncan
“Oh, wow.”
When Sarah’s eyes filled with sympathy, Lisa thought they both might end up in tears. She waved a hand. “I was devastated, but I’m working through it,” she insisted. “I was thinking, though...if I can’t have a baby of my own, maybe adoption is the answer.”
“A baby. You want to adopt a baby.” Comprehension smoothed the lines that had crossed Sarah’s forehead.
Lisa didn’t understand when her hostess bowed her head and shook it. She held her breath, certain she wouldn’t like whatever came next.
“Adopting a baby is tougher than you’d think,” Sarah said, looking up. “Nearly impossible.”
“Why?” It didn’t make sense. According to the former social worker, the foster care system was bursting at the seams. “Didn’t you just say there were tons of kids out there who need homes?”
“Not babies. Those are scarcer than hen’s teeth. Girls have more options than ever before. The ones who go through with a pregnancy usually opt for private adoptions. Last time I checked, the wait for a healthy newborn through the Department of Children and Families was about three years.”
“Three years,” Lisa echoed. Could she wait that long? She watched Sarah reach for the tray of sweets. When her new friend’s hand wavered between a coconut-topped bar and one with some kind of red fruit, Lisa’s gaze dropped to the pale yellow cookie that had lost its appeal. She folded the edges of her napkin around the treat while her hostess chose one loaded with white flakes.
Sarah finished in two dainty bites and dusted a few crumbs from her jeans. “I hate to tell you this, but I guess it’s better to find out before you put a lot of time and money into the process. There’s more.” She hesitated, not going on until Lisa nodded. “As a single woman and someone who’s just starting a new career, you’ll have a tough time meeting the criteria. Plus, the courts have the final say in any adoption, and they always favor married couples. It’d be easier if you waited till you were in a stable relationship. Unless you’re already in one?” Sarah quirked one eyebrow. “Any prospects?”
For a steady boyfriend? Or a husband?
“No,” Lisa confessed. Garrett was the only man she’d been attracted to since she moved to Okeechobee. But, for reasons that seemed far less clear than they had a little over a month ago, she’d refused to let their relationship go any father than friendship...except for one glaring exception.
She clenched her fingers to keep them from tracing the memory of Garrett’s kisses. The night of the storm, she had wanted, craved, needed the reminder that she was alive and desirable. Garrett had given her all that and more. Since then, she’d seen that same desire smoldering in his blue eyes more than once. She’d felt it in his caress when he dabbed ice cream from her cheek. And, heaven help her, she wanted him, too. But the last thing she needed was to get wrapped up in Garrett Judd when there was so much unsettled in her own life. So, she’d held back. Retreated, rather than let him think she was interested. No doubt, she’d reached the right decision. Made the smart move. Yet she couldn’t deny that her cozy apartment had seemed far too empty after Garrett and LJ visited it.
“Hmm.” Sarah held her gaze for a long beat without blinking. At last, before she helped herself to another cookie, she said, “Well, then there’s the cost, of course. Adoption, even through a state agency, can be expensive.”
“How much, exactly?” Few of the government websites addressed the cost in anything more than the vaguest of terms. Lisa held her breath while she busied her fingers plaiting and loosening the end of her braid. Even though business at Pickin’ Strings had picked up since she’d started advertising in the newspaper, the store still operated in the red.
“For a private adoption, you need to think in terms of tens of thousands of dollars. If you work with DCF, your costs will be lower, but the odds of ever getting a baby are practically nil.”
Lisa placed a hand on her hollow stomach while Sarah spoke. It didn’t sound as if she was going to have any more luck adopting a child than she’d had in having one of her own. A familiar disappointment stung her eyes. When it clogged the back of her throat, she bowed her head.
“Hey, there you are. I’ve been looking for you. Mom brought LJ down a little while ago.”
At the sound of Garrett’s voice echoing through the great room, Lisa drew in a ragged breath. Her conversation with Sarah had been so intense, so consuming, that she’d paid scant attention to traffic up and down the stairs. Straightening, she swiped at her eyes.
“Are you ready for the big event?” he asked, his boot steps sounding closer.
“I think I’d better go.” Lisa slowly shook her head. No matter what Garrett had said about strengthening her baby muscles, she couldn’t be around LJ and maintain her composure. Not now that another door to starting a family of her own had slammed in her face.
Instantly on alert, the rancher glared at Sarah. “What did you say to her?”
“It’s not her fault.” Lisa sucked in a breath as a sudden urge to lay her head against Garrett’s broad chest swept over her. She wanted to feel his arms around her, to draw from his strength. But not even Garrett could shelter her from the disappointment his boss’s wife had served up along with a plate of pretty cookies. She rose on unsteady feet and placed a hand on Garrett’s forearm. “She only told me the truth—that adopting a baby is a long, arduous process with very little chance of success.”
“I’m so sorry, Lisa,” Sarah murmured from her seat.
“It’s better to find out now,” Lisa said, struggling to put on a brave face. “But I should go. I need to think about everything you’ve told me.” She managed only one step toward the door before Garrett placed his strong hand over hers, trapping it in place.
“Stay,” he pleaded. “If only for a little while. Everyone will be disappointed if we have to postpone.”
Lisa let her brows knit. “You’d wait to take LJ on his first horseback ride...for me?” That possibility hadn’t even crossed her mind.
“Well, sure.” Garrett shrugged. “We’re doing this for you as much as for him. Besides—” his dark eyes glittered “—I want you to be here.”
When he put it that way, how could she leave?
* * *
UNCERTAIN HOW TO proceed if Lisa insisted on walking out the door, Garrett drew in a deep breath. He shouldn’t care. Shouldn’t give a damn whether she stayed to see LJ take his first horseback ride or not. After all, it wasn’t as if they were a couple or anything. In fact, she’d made her decision to keep her distance pretty clear. She probably wasn’t going to stick around anyway. As far as he knew, Lisa would sell Pickin’ Strings and move on by the time LJ cut his first molars.
But...
He let a ragged breath seep through his lips. But ever since she’d taken pity on him and joined him and LJ for ice cream, he hadn’t been able to ignore the gaping hole in his life. The one it’d take a woman’s presence to fill.
Take Monday night, for example. In the middle of singing a lullaby to LJ, he’d caught himself wondering if he’d ever fall in love again. Though he’d kept playing without skipping a beat, he couldn’t seem to shake the question loose. The same thing had happened Tuesday when, tiptoeing down the stairs for coffee, he kept thinking how nice it’d be if there was someone waiting for him in the kitchen, someone to share the day’s first cup of joe.
In an effort to think of other things, he’d tried burying himself in his work. A tactic that hadn’t succeeded as he’d hoped. Shortly after daybreak, he’d spotted a rare set of panther tracks in a bare patch of sand and wished there was someone waiting at home, eager to hear all about it. As for the nights, well, the nights were worse. While everyone else slept, he stared at the ceiling, wondering if he was destined to grow old without anyone at his side.
Sometimes—if only for a little while—he imagined what his future would look like if Lisa became a permanent fixture in it. It went without saying that she turned him on. He could hardly look at her without
thinking of the night they’d spent together...and wanting to do it all over again. Yeah, the sex had been great, but that wasn’t all. She challenged him to become a better version of himself. Even her childless state inspired him to be a better father to his own son. It didn’t hurt that she had a smile that could light up a room. Or that, every once in a while, the way she looked at him did funny things to his heart.
Glancing down at the woman who’d spent the last hour talking with Sarah and was now on her way out the door, he cleared his throat. “It’d mean a lot to me if you stayed, Lisa.”
Something in his tone must have gotten through to her, because she slowly turned toward him. He held his breath as he waited for her answer. When it came, her nod of acquiescence sent a tiny jolt of pleasure straight through him. Aware that he was dangerously close to showing feelings he wasn’t certain of, he forced a casual smile to his lips. Unable to resist, he touched a playful finger to her nose.
“Did you bring a hat? I wouldn’t want you to get burned.” This late in the day, the risk of sunburn faded. Still, he hated the thought of her pale skin reddening beneath the sun.
“I left it on a hook by the door.”
“Better grab it. Mom’s waiting for us in the kitchen.”
He watched her dart across the hardwood floor, unable to wrench his eyes from the denim that hugged her curves any more than he could prevent the slow grin that spread across his face. A grin that slid sideways when a gentle throat-clearing reminded him they weren’t alone.
He gave Sarah his best aw-shucks look and trailed the women into the hall. Halfway through the corridor, though, Lisa’s footsteps faltered. Afraid she’d had a sudden change of heart, he motioned Sarah to continue on without them. He touched one cautious finger to Lisa’s elbow. “Problem?”
“No, not at all.” She swept one hand through the air while he followed her gaze to the photographs that lined the walls. “Who are these people?” she asked.
Garrett glanced at the array of familiar pictures. “Parkers and Judds—pretty much everyone who’s ever worked on the Circle P.”
“What an incredible heritage,” she said, her eyes widening. “You said your family had been here for generations, but seeing it all laid out here is pretty amazing.”
“We mostly take it for granted, but you’re right.” Garrett deliberately scanned the framed prints. “Every one of us knows the history of the land, of our families, through the pictures on these walls.”
“My family never stayed more than a year in the same place. Every new gig meant a new house, a new school.” Almost reverently, Lisa peered closer. Curiosity flared in her sparkling brown eyes. “Are there any of you when you were little? Does LJ look like you?”
At the reminder that Lisa wasn’t the type to stick around long, he cleared his throat. “Some other time I’ll be glad to take you through them, one by one. But it’s getting late. If we don’t get on out to the corral, everybody’ll give up on us and go home.”
“Everybody?” Her eyes lost some of their shine. “I thought this was just for LJ.”
“’Round here, we’ll use any excuse for a party. Today it’s LJ’s first horseback ride. Who knows what it’ll be tomorrow?” They moved into the kitchen, where his mom waited. Beside her, Ty already had LJ propped on one lean hip. “Ready?” Garrett asked the group.
Doris lifted a camera from the table. “All set.”
“Let’s do this, then.”
Garrett hadn’t been joking about the crowd. Practically every worker on the ranch had gathered at the corral, along with so many relatives he didn’t bother with individual introductions. Not that anyone cared. His family took one look at Lisa and whisked her into their midst.
Garrett shook his head. He spared a quick glance at the top rail where Kelly and Emma had already perched on either side of Lisa. Before she knew what was happening, his sisters-in-law would ferret out all the pertinent details of her history, catalog each one and file them away for future reference. Silently he crossed his fingers and hoped the musician was up to the challenge.
But as Josh led Gold into the corral, the task at hand absorbed Garrett’s full focus. He ran a hand down the buckskin’s neck, his voice a bare whisper. “You ready for this, boy? LJ’s just a little tyke. I’m trusting you to be on your best behavior.” His hands on his hips, he muffled a tiny ripple of doubt. He’d trained Gold from a colt. Just as LJ would do with his own horse when the time was right.
Even though he was certain Josh had properly saddled the horse, Garrett went over every detail. He lifted the stirrup, anchoring it on the pommel while he made sure the cinch strap was snug. He smoothed a hand under the edges of the saddle blanket, ensuring not a single wrinkle or loose piece of yarn would distract the quarter horse. Looking for pebbles, he examined each of Gold’s hooves. Only when he’d satisfied himself that everything was up to scratch did he signal Ty.
Continuing a tradition that had been carried down from one generation to the next, the Circle P’s owner carried the guest of honor across the corral. With the instincts of a born rancher, LJ reached for the horse the minute he was tucked safely in Garrett’s arms.
“Ossy,” the boy whispered.
“That’s right,” Garrett said in his most approving tone. “Nice horse. That’s a good boy.” Cupping his son’s tiny fingers in his own, he gently patted the buckskin’s neck.
He gave the two a minute to get used to one another. Then, with Ty once more holding the boy, Garrett swung himself into the saddle. Both feet in the stirrups, he squared his seat, took the reins.
“Okay,” he said once he was settled. “Hand him up.”
With Doris snapping pictures from every conceivable angle, Ty lifted the youngster. Garrett snugged the boy into the empty spot he’d created behind the pommel. His hand spanned LJ’s round tummy. He pinned the sturdy body against his.
“I think we’re good to go,” Garrett announced. He waited till Ty hustled back to the rail before, his stomach tightening, he clucked to the buckskin. LJ’s head swung around as Gold took a few steps forward. The big quarter horse halted on cue at a slight tug on the reins. Garrett leaned down until he could see his son’s face.
“Ossy!” LJ giggled, his small face crinkling into a smile. When the boy swayed back and forth, Garrett kneed Gold. Slowly, the buckskin circled the ring.
“Yee-haw!” one of the ranch hands yelled.
“Little man,” shouted another.
The horse’s ears twitched, and he blew air. His attention riveted on Gold’s head, LJ laughed out loud. Pride warmed Garrett’s chest as he guided the horse around in a circle a half-dozen times. At last, LJ’s attention drifted to the saddle, the reins. The boy tugged at his daddy’s hands on his belly. Sensing they’d accomplished enough for one day, Garrett signaled the horse to a stop and once again handed the boy off to Ty. Applause erupted from the crowd gathered at the rails.
“Looks like you got yourself a natural-born horseman,” Ty said smiling broadly. With LJ propped on his hip, he turned to the crowd. “Let’s all mosey up to the kitchen for cake to celebrate the occasion.”
Almost before Ty finished speaking, the ranch hands cleared the corral and headed for the sidewalk that led to the house. Garrett scanned the departing crowd for Lisa’s lean form. Not seeing her, he wheeled Gold in a circle. His shoulders relaxed when he spotted her, sitting alone on the top rail. Clucking to the big buckskin, he moved closer.
“What’d you think?” he asked, as eager for her opinion as he was surprised that it mattered.
“He looked like he was enjoying himself,” she said slowly.
“But?” From the way the little crease between Lisa’s eyes deepened, there had to be something.
She shrugged. “You don’t think he should wear a helmet?”
Garrett barely suppressed the laugh that rose in his chest. “You ever see a cowboy wear a helmet? That’s just not the way it’s done.” The lines across her forehead deepened, and he sobered quickl
y. “I had such a tight grip on LJ, he wasn’t going anywhere,” he said with calm certainty. “I wasn’t going to let him fall. It’ll be years before he’s big enough to ride by himself. When he does, he’ll start out on a pony. Work his way up to a full-size horse. Don’t worry.”
Despite the reassurance, Lisa’s knuckles whitened as Gold blew air. Tack jangling, the horse stomped his hooves.
Garrett lifted one eyebrow. “You haven’t been around horses much, have you?”
“Not at all.” Her braid swung across her chest as Lisa shook her head. “I spent most of my life either practicing for the stage or on it. There wasn’t much time for anything else.”
How could a woman reach adulthood without riding a horse? The answer defied logic. The solution was obvious. “We need to fix that,” Garrett announced. “Right now.”
“Don’t we need to get inside?” Lisa sent a quick look in the general direction everyone else had gone. “Won’t everyone be waiting for you to cut the cake?”
Garrett barked a laugh. “That band of outlaws waits for no man. Or woman. First come, first served. I’m pretty sure it’s stitched on a throw pillow somewhere.” He lifted an eyebrow. “Let’s get you mounted up.”
“Oh, I don’t know, Garrett.” Lisa protested, but she scrambled down from the fence as if she was eager to ride.
A quick dismount gave Garrett just the opportunity he’d been waiting for all day. As he slipped his hands around Lisa’s waist and tugged her close, he squelched the uneasy feeling that he was letting himself get too involved with a woman who wasn’t going to stick around.
* * *
ALL TOO AWARE of Garrett’s hands spanning her waist, Lisa placed her foot in the stirrup.
“Now, bounce a little,” Garrett murmured in her ear. “Then, swing yourself into the saddle.”
But it was one thing to want to ride a horse. Quite another to stand so close to the big animal. And another still to actually climb up on its broad back. Afraid she’d chicken out at the last minute, Lisa bit her lower lip. As she scrambled awkwardly onto the horse, a wave of vertigo washed over her. With it came an unsettling awareness of how far off the ground she sat. Beneath her, Gold’s weight shifted. Her heart stopped, and Lisa clutched the knob on the front of the saddle.
