Destined to Change (Destined Series)

by Lisa M. Harley

  He gave me that belly laugh, “I got no reason to kick his ass, Lor. He won fair and square. You love him. You never loved me. I shouldn’t have been touching ya like that. Kissin’ ya that way. The man had every right to kick my ass.”

  I reached down and grabbed his right hand and laced my fingers through his. “Cade, you have been a great experience for me.”

  He laughed again, “An experience, huh, hon?”

  I smiled at him. “Yes, sir. You have been quite the experience. You were what I needed. You showed me what I want my future to be.”

  “Lor, if that baby in your belly is mine, I ain’t goin’ away. I will take care of it and its momma.”

  I placed my hand on his cheek. “Cade, if this baby is yours, I will not keep you away from it. I want you to have a relationship with him or her.”

  “Her, it’s definitely a her.” He said with a smirk on his face. “I always wanted a little cowgirl of my own. Lor, I will always be here for you and the baby. Even if it’s not mine. I’m just sorry you don’t get those damn butterflies in your belly for me. I saw the way you looked at him. He’s your future. As much as it’s killing me. Deep down inside, really deep down, because you know I hate that asshat.”

  I chuckled at him, and he said, “You belong together. Do whatever you need to do to make that happen. Just know that I will be here for that baby, no matter what. Even if she ain’t mine. I won’t let him hurt you ever again. You understand me, Lor?”

  I removed my hand from his cheek and placed it in his. “I understand you, Cade. And I wish things were different. I wish...I just want you to be happy. Promise me, okay?”

  “Hon’, you can’t ask me to make a promise like that right now while you’re breakin’ my heart. Damn, woman, you’re cold.” He laughed that big belly laugh at me and started to stand up. He was a little unsteady on his feet, but he got up and wiped the blood from his lip. He started toward his truck. “I’m gonna need a day or two to lick my wounds. If ya need me, ya know where to find me, okay?”

  I answered as we were walking outside, “Yes, sir, I sure do. And Cade, thanks for...”

  He finished my sentence, “The most amazing sex of your life? You’re welcome, hon.” And there was that big belly laugh again, but it was followed by a really sad smile. It was killing me to hurt him like this, but I had to be with Jaxon. He was my future. I had made a promise to Declan, and I intended to keep it.

  Jaxon

  As I headed to Lor’s house, I couldn’t stop thinking about the baby. She was gonna have a baby. I knew it wasn’t mine. She was having his baby. I loved her. How was I going to handle this? I didn’t know the answer to that, but I did know that I loved that woman more than anything in this world. She was my future, and like hell if I would let that fucking cowboy ruin it for me. I would love that baby, just like I loved the twins. We would be a family no matter what, if she would have me.

  I had to fix this. This whole thing was my fault. How could I have been so fucking stupid? If I had been honest with her from the beginning, none of this would have happened. She never would’ve met that fucking cowboy. We would be together now. She wouldn’t be pregnant though, and I would never take that away from her.

  I pulled down the drive and parked in front of her house. It felt like home, like I belonged here. I wanted that perfect postcard family life. I wanted that with Lor. I had to fucking fix this. I just had to.

  I walked up and sat down on the front porch in one of the white rocking chairs. I decided to sit there and think about what I was going to say to Lor. I had been practicing what I would say ever since I left Richmond, but things had changed. The baby was a new hurdle, but not really. I wouldn’t treat it like anything other than mine. The same way I planned to treat the twins. I wanted this family, and right now all I could do was wait for Lor to get here.

  Loralei

  On the short drive to my house all I could think about was the look on Jaxon’s face when he realized I was pregnant. He didn’t look like a guy who thought he was going to be a dad. He looked like a guy who had been sucker punched. We hadn’t used protection when we had sex. I really thought he would be happy when he found out. Maybe I was just delusional. I didn’t know. We had to talk this out. We had to do what was best for all of us...and that included his family back in Richmond.

  What made him come here? Did he miss me? Did he realize he couldn’t live without me? Or did he think we needed a real goodbye? I didn’t know, but I couldn’t wait to find out.

  I pulled up and parked next to Jaxon’s bike. I was hesitant to go to him. I didn’t know why. I wanted him with everything in me. But I think I was scared. What if he wasn’t here because he loved me?

  Oh my God, Loralei Harper, get your ass out of the jeep and go talk to that man.

  I got out of the jeep and started walking toward the front porch. His gaze met mine, and I couldn’t look away. Those beautiful brown eyes with the golden flecks were mesmerizing. I took a seat in the rocking chair facing him. We both started talking at the same time.

  He said, “Lor, let me explain, please?” He took my hands in his and started rubbing circles with his thumbs on my palms. “I never should’ve left here. Never. I don’t know what the hell came over me. I couldn’t believe that Stacy told you Jaz wasn’t mine and you still wanted me to leave.”

  I couldn’t believe those words came from his mouth. I pulled my hands away from his and jumped out of my chair. “What the hell do you mean, she isn’t yours? Stacy told me the test came back and you were the dad.”

  He stood up, stepped toward me, and grabbed my hands again. “She is a lying bitch, Loralei. Jaz isn’t mine. I thought you wanted me to be with them. I couldn’t understand why, but I thought that was why you were telling me to leave. Stacy and I tried for years to have a baby and it never happened. We don’t need the DNA test. Your baby can’t be mine. But I will raise it like it is.”

  This was all too much for me. I fell back in the rocking chair. Jaxon was still holding my hands and he dropped to his knees in front of me. I said, “So, this baby can’t be yours? Are you sure?”

  Jaxon looked down to the ground. After a long silence he looked up at me with a tear in his eye. “You have no idea how much I want that baby to be mine. But no, it’s his.”

  Both of my hands immediately flew to my belly. I was having Cade’s baby. But I loved Jaxon. I couldn’t be with Cade. He said he understood, but would he really, after the baby came. Cade was going to be a part of our lives forever. Could I handle that? I didn’t know the answer to that yet.

  “I still want the test Jaxon. I want to know for sure. I can have it in a couple of weeks. What is happening with Stacy and Jaz?”

  He stood up and took a seat in the rocking chair he had been sitting in. “She signed the divorce papers. My mom is letting her stay there until she gets on her feet. My mom fell in love with Jaz, so no matter how she feels about Stacy, she will make sure that little girl is taken care of. Stacy is out of my life Lor, and Jaz is not my daughter. I want that future that we talked about. I want us to grow old together. Will you have me? Can we please try again?”

  I wanted that more than anything. But I was having another man’s baby? I didn’t know what that would do to Jaxon and I. Jaxon may have said it wouldn’t change anything, but that would all change when Cade started hanging around all the time to be with the baby.

  “Jaxon, we have been through so much. I just...I just don’t know. I want to be with you, but I’m so scared that some other secret will come out. Is there anything else I need to know? Please don’t tell me you have another wife somewhere else, or that you’re wanted by the law. I really don’t think I could handle it!” He hugged me and we laughed together. It felt so good being in his arms. I had missed him so much.

  Chapter 16

  Loralei

  Jaxon and I decided it would be best for him to stay with Uncle Jake until we could figure things out. We loved each other and wanted to spend our future
together. Now we needed to figure out how to do that.

  I told him we needed to sit the kids down and talk to them about what was going on. We didn’t need to mention the baby yet, but we needed to let them know that Jaxon was back and here to stay. I didn’t want them to be surprised when they saw him around the farm. And I hoped to be spending time with him, lots of time, and I didn’t want that to upset them.

  We decided Jaxon should come over for dinner, so we could have this conversation with the kids. Why was I so nervous? This was crazy. This part shouldn’t be so hard...should it? The kids loved Jaxon. But they knew how hurt I had been over the past few weeks. They could tell how much I missed him and I knew they missed him too.

  When Jaxon got there and walked up to the door, my heart melted. He was the most beautiful man I had ever seen. That shaggy brown hair, those beautiful brown eyes with the golden flecks, he was wearing black jeans, boots, and a button-up white dress shirt. He had the sleeves rolled up to showcase his tattoos. When our eyes met, neither one of us could look away. It was like an electric current was pulling us toward each other. He opened the screen door and stepped inside. I touched his cheek, and he did the same to me.

  “I missed you, Lor. I can’t stand to be away from you. Even just for the night. Did you miss me, too?”

  I was lost in his eyes. “I missed you so much, Jaxon.”

  He leaned in to kiss me, but as soon as his lips touched mine, we heard voices. “Jaxon!” The twins crashed into him. They threw their arms around him and Sammy said, “You’re back. Are you really back? You won’t leave again, right?”

  Jaxon looked up at me. “I’m here for as long as your mom will have me, little man. And I missed you guys too.” The kids wouldn’t let go of him and Jaxon didn’t seem to want to let them go either.

  We finally pried the kids off of him and walked into the kitchen. The kids sat down at the table and Jaxon said, “Need any help, babe?” I loved hearing him call me that. I had missed that so much.

  “No, I think I can put the pizza and salad on the table.” He laughed and sat down with the kids. We enjoyed the meal so much. It took me back to the last time we had all sat at this same table and ate pizza. Back before everything changed. Before I learned about Stacy and Jaz. Before Cade. Cade, God, I felt so bad for hurting him. He was not the kinda guy to have feelings for someone, but he definitely had feelings for me.

  The baby. His baby? In my mind and my heart, it was Jaxon’s baby. But my brain understood that it could be Cade’s. Cade was a good guy and he would love this baby more than anything. I could see that in his eyes every time he had mentioned her. He thought the baby was a girl, his little cowgirl. We needed this test. I had to know.

  When we finished eating, Jaxon got up and helped Mags clear the dishes. She was so happy he was back. She hadn’t smiled this much in weeks. That made my heart smile. They loaded the dishwasher, and Sammy and I walked into the living room and sat down on the couch.

  He snuggled up beside me and said, “Mommy, I missed Jaxon so much. Is he gonna stay this time? He’s not gonna leave us again, is he?” He put his little hand on my cheek and pulled my head down toward him, and whispered, “He loves us, right Mommy? Like we love him.”

  I felt a hand on my shoulder. Jaxon reached over and picked Sammy up. Pulling him into his arms, he said, “Little man, I never stopped loving you. Not for a minute. I love you, Mags, and your Mommy more than anything. I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

  Sammy nodded and grabbed Jaxon around the neck in a big ole bear hug. Jaxon was looking down at me with the biggest smile on his face. Mags walked in and sat down by me on the couch. She was smiling too. Everyone was so happy. We needed this to last. We all deserved to be happy.

  Jaxon

  After dinner at Lor’s place, we kissed goodbye. It was really gentle and sweet. We were trying to get back to where we had been. As much as I wanted to tear her clothes off and carry her upstairs caveman-style, I couldn’t do that. We had things to work through first. I called her the next morning and asked her out that night. I wanted to do something special with her. She accepted, and I told her I would pick her up at seven o’clock.

  I was so damn nervous all day. This shit was killing me. I couldn’t stand being that close to her, but not being able to be with her. I decided I would go down to the barn and help Uncle Jake out a little bit. It never entered my mind that the fucking cowboy would be doing the same thing. When I got around to the side of the barn, there he was. That cocky asshole. The man didn’t walk, he strutted. It fucking killed me that I pushed Lor toward him.

  I hollered at Uncle Jake, “Need some help?” Cade’s eyes locked with mine. Neither one of us was gonna back down.

  Uncle Jake walked over toward me. “Don’t stir anything up, Jaxon. He’s helping us out. We don’t need any shit here.”

  I broke the eye contact. I looked down at Uncle Jake. “No problem. I think I’ll just head back to the house.” I couldn’t work with him. I decided to just go back the house and wait until I could pick Lor up. I had to hear her voice, so I decided to call her.

  “Hi, Jaxon.”

  “Hi, babe. What are you wearing?” I loved to ask her that, it always made her laugh.

  She giggled, “A smile?”

  God, I loved that woman. “I miss ya. God, I really miss ya. Are the kids home?” I knew they were probably at school, but I needed to make sure.

  “They’re at school, why?”

  “Can I come over? Please? I really need to see you.” I was almost pleading, I needed to see her.

  “Uh, sure. I’ve been cleaning house, so I’m kinda stinky.”

  “That’s perfect. I’ll be there soon.” Thank God she was letting me come over. I started my bike up and headed to her house.

  I couldn’t get parked and inside the house quick enough. When I made it to the door, she was standing there, waiting for me. She had shorts on and was wearing my blue Elvis t-shirt. She had it tied up in a knot on the side. I wondered where that shirt had gone. She looked so hot! I guess what they said about pregnant women was true. She was glowing. Even standing in front of me all sweaty with her hair pulled up in a messy bun, she looked perfect. And I wanted her so bad.

  I wouldn’t attack her. I couldn’t do that to her. I had to go slow after what I had pulled. She opened the screen door and just about knocked me over. She jumped up into my arms, wrapped her legs around my waist, and she made me fall up against the wall. She wanted me.

  Her eyes were locked with mine, and she had this sexy smirk on her face. “Are you gonna kiss me or not?”

  That was all it took. I smashed my lips to hers. I turned us around and pushed her up against the wall. I couldn’t control myself. I wanted her too bad. We were kissing each other so hard. She was rubbing my chest and pulling on my jeans.

  She whispered, “Inside, now.” I started to unzip my jeans, she shuddered. She looked horrified, “Oh my God, no, inside the house, now. You damn pervert.”

  I laughed at her and carried her upstairs to her bedroom, gently laying her down on the bed.

  “Are you sure, Lor? We don’t have to do this.” I really didn’t want to push her into anything, but she had just about attacked me on the porch. She pulled her shirt over her head, took off her bra, and started to slide her shorts down.

  “I want you, Jaxon. I’ve missed you so much. Please, make love to me.”

  I pulled my shirt off and took my jeans off. I was standing in front of her in my boxers. She stood up and stepped toward me. “Let me, please?” I nodded and she kneeled in front of me. She pulled my boxers down. When her breath hit my piercing, I couldn’t think. I needed this...I needed her. This was beyond physical. This was my heart, my soul, my everything. They all resided in this beautiful woman, who no matter what happened, would do everything she could to make me happy.

  She looked up at me through those long eyelashes. “I’ve never done this before Jaxon. Tell me if I do it wrong, okay?” She was worried
about doing something wrong after everything I had done to her?

  “You are amazing, Lor. Nothing you do could be wrong.” When I said that, she licked the tip of my erection around my piercing and I almost collapsed to the ground. I was literally shaking. She felt so good. When she sucked the tip into her mouth and flicked my piercing, I grabbed her hair. I really tried to be gentle, but I couldn’t do it. I tugged and pushed further into her mouth. I went a little too far and she gagged. “Shit, I’m sorry, Lor.” She looked up at me and sucked in my entire length. She was using her hand around the base and pulling and sucking and I was so close. She didn’t stop, she sped up. I saw stars as I came so damn hard.

  She stood up and kissed me. “Did I do okay?” She asked with a giggle. I pushed her back onto the bed and settled between her legs.

  “Yeah, babe...you did really okay.” I nipped on one nipple, while I massaged the other with my fingers. She was arching her back and she had her hands in my hair. I kissed a trail between her breasts. When I got to her belly, I gently kissed it and caressed it. I looked up into her eyes and she was smiling at me.

  “I know the baby is yours Jaxon. In my heart I know it.” I couldn’t think about it right now. I couldn’t get my hopes up, but that would make me the happiest fucking man alive.

  I sat up on my knees and started to pull her panties down. She took a deep breath. “You, okay?” I asked. She gave me that look that I had missed so much. The look that said I love you and I trust you.

  Then she said, “I’m wonderful, Jaxon. Really, really wonderful.”

  I finished pulling her panties off and threw them onto the floor. I crawled up her body, placing light kisses all the way up to her lips.

  When I got to her lips, I kissed her, “I’m gonna love you gentle, okay?”

  She nodded and I started to press into her. Our eyes were locked. Those beautiful brown eyes were melting my heart. I moved very slowly. I was making love to her. This wasn’t sex...this was love. We both needed this. We made love all afternoon. So sweet and gentle. Both of us so happy. I never wanted the afternoon to end.