Twisted Forever

by Danielle James

“I’m sorry about what I said about Mason.” He sighed, rubbing his face. “Seeing Manny in here so close to you…seeing every body in here so close to you is fucking unnerving. Camilla, all I want is for our family to work out.”

  “Then tell me the truth. You know the truth about me. You know I fucked Xavier. You know I’m close to Cole. Tell me the truth about you and Anais.”

  “I love you so much and I don’t want to hurt you.” He said quietly.

  “Alexander.”

  “Can we work through it?” He asked without looking at me.

  “Only if I know the truth.”

  “Yes.” He finally said. “I was cheating on you with Anais.”

  I didn’t even cry I just stood there numb. I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I looked at Alexander and then at the door where Emmanuel left. I wished I could have left with him. Instead I just went to bed. In the guest room. By myself.

  **

  Chapter Twelve

  Emmanuel

  I was extremely close to telling Camilla about who Mason’s real father was last night. My emotions were running high and only Camilla could make me that way. Normally I’m unshakeable but not around her. When I’m around her I’m putty and I hate it.

  I knew that if I didn’t leave her house last night I would fuck her and then make love to her and I’d unleash the beast once again. It infuriated me that she plainly wanted to be with me but thought our past was too complicated. I admittedly thought the same thing before Mason was born though. He changed the way I viewed everything concerning Camilla.

  I wondered how I would parade her around in public the way she deserved to be paraded when everyone still called her my daughter. I wondered how Christina would deal with seeing me in love with her sister. How would she take to me marrying Camilla and giving her babies?

  My mind used to overflow with those thoughts so I understood how she could feel conflicted. I thought little brother would give her everything she deserved and I’d have to learn to live without her. The more time passed though, the more I realized life without Camilla was a gaping empty hole that I could never fill.

  Now I had to sit here and watch her ache and break over Alexander when I could have just put a fucking bullet in him and called it a day. I couldn’t hold on much longer while she forced her relationship with him to work when it was evidently in shambles. I knew he’d fuck everything up for himself but what I didn’t count on was how hard Camilla would try to hold on.

  I was sitting in my home office trying to go over all the shit Cole pushed to me yesterday but none of it was making sense. I thought working from home would help but it just made things worse.

  “Bye, Daddy. I’ll be back tonight.” Christina’s chest was nearly popping out of her tight shirt and her shorts were too fucking small. I followed her into the foyer and grabbed her elbow. “Ouch!”

  “Take your ass upstairs and change.”

  “You know I’m twenty now…right?”

  “I don’t care! Go change,” I shouted. She pulled out of my grasp and stomped upstairs muttering under her breath. I stalked behind her and stood in her doorway.

  “Damn can I have some privacy?”

  “For what? So you can put clothes on over top of what you’re wearing?”

  “Daddy stop acting like that.”

  “Christina, what is going on with you baby girl?” I walked into her room and sat on the corner of her bed. She still had the white ruffled bedspread I got her when she was in high school.

  “Nothing.” She was pouting though.

  “Chris, what’s going on with you and Xavier? I want to hear it from your mouth.”

  “Well, if you’re saying that then you already know.” She chewed her bottom lip anxiously. “Does Cami know?”

  “Cami has enough on her plate but she suspects,” I told her. Christina sank on her bed and tears started to water in her eyes.

  “He didn’t really want to have sex with me.” She admitted, wiping her eyes with the side of her hand. It smeared the makeup she had on each time she wiped it. More and more, pieces of my baby girl were revealed.

  “I tried to do it again. I tried to get him to see that I was just as attractive as her but…” Her voice fell and she shrugged. “I shouldn’t be talking to you about this.”

  “Why not? Do we really need to hide things in this family, as fucked up as we are?” I was trying my best to be the father she needed right then but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to find Xavier and hurt him.

  “I can’t talk to you about it.” She said shaking her head vehemently.

  “You can. If you’re not confortable though, it’s fine.” I stood up and she did too. She rushed me with a hug and started to cry.

  “He didn’t want me. I tried everything but nothing worked he wouldn’t even get hard. He kept telling me to leave. It was so fucking embarrassing.” I could feel my muscles tensing from even hearing those words come from Christina’s mouth but at the same time I felt so bad for her.

  “Baby girl, why do you have to keep competing with your sister?”

  “Why?” She asked like I should know. “She took everything from me. She took Mommy, she took Laurel, she took Uncle Alexander, and she took you.” Her words crushed me under their weight and I sat down on her bed again, this time involuntarily. Christina’s body trembled from all the crying she was doing and I did all I could do right then I rubbed her back until she calmed down.

  “Camilla didn’t take me. I’m always here for you. You gotta realize you pushed me away Chris. You moved and went off to college and barely call or visit. What am I supposed to do? I can’t make you be close to me.”

  “I know. I just don’t know how to be close to you. You’re in love with Camilla, Daddy.”

  “I know. It’s not easy. It’s not normal. It’s one of those things you have to deal with or leave alone. I thought you’d made your choice.”

  “I don’t know what my choice is. I just know I’m sick of Camilla always taking over everything.”

  “So you fucked the father of her child? You know next to me he’s the person she loves the most. Now I’m not trying to defend anything but that wasn’t right Chris. You need to steer clear of Cami.”

  “Why? You think she’ll kill me like she killed Mommy?” The snarl in her tone gave me pause. Just a few seconds ago she was in tears, sad and hurting then in a blink she was bitter and angry.

  “She didn’t kill your mother. Stop saying that.”

  “She might as well have!” She was crying again. I shut my eyes and pressed her head against my chest. Christina was more like her sister than she’d care to know.

  Fuck.

  “Chris…can I ask a favor of you sweetheart?”

  “Of course Daddy.” She sniffled away her sadness and it gave way to a saccharine tone.

  “I want to set up an appointment for you to talk to a psychologist.” I told her calmly. She pondered what I was saying for a moment and then a smile crept across her chocolate face.

  “Only if it’s Uncle Alexander.”

  “No. Not him,” I snarled. “He’s family, there’s a conflict of interest. Promise me you’ll go if I set up an appointment.” I pressed.

  “Okay, fine. Maybe it will help,” she sighed.

  I sat in her room talking to her and listening to her, trying my best to understand her but she still evaded me. She seemed to hate Camilla so much but she also envied her and idolized her. Christina would swing from one end of her emotions to the other as if she were doing acrobats.

  I finally let her go once I got her in a calm space but I already knew what was really wrong with her. It was the same thing that was wrong with Dana and Camilla. She had bipolar disorder. Hers just didn’t present the same sexual need as her mother and sister, thank God.

  After that shit I needed to see the one of the only people that could lift my mood completely: my son. I drove over to New Grace and stole some time with him in daycare just like I did every day. Eve
n if I didn’t make it to the house to see him and hold him, I saw him in daycare. I hated having to hand him back over when I was done though. I didn’t know how much longer I could stand by letting Alexander think Mason was his. I needed to be with my son.

  “What are you doing over here?” Cole’s voice made me spin around just before I hit the door.

  “Oh, just came to see Chloe and Mason.” I shrugged. “Were you with Camilla?” I asked him.

  “Yeah, she’s not doing too well. Her and Alexander got into it last night after you left. He told her he’s been screwing Anais. So she’s in a fucked up space, mentally.” Everything in me wanted to go to her but I couldn’t keep putting her back together if she didn’t want me to. Cole paused in the middle of the parking lot and looked at me.

  “What?” I frowned.

  “Nothing, just noticing your features,” he mused.

  “No offense Cole but you’re not my type.”

  “Yeah, yeah…funny.” He scowled. “You headed to the office or back to your house?”

  “My house. Why? You wanna come over?”

  “Yeah, I’m gonna swing by.” He hopped in his car and I got in mine. I didn’t know what was on his mind but I had a feeling he was getting ready to tell me.

  Cole sat in my kitchen, still staring at me with eyes that reminded me of a damn lion. For a motherfucker that didn’t ever care enough to look at people, him staring me down was pissing me off.

  “What the fuck is it Cole?” I sighed. “Did you finally fuck Cami? You wanna fight me now?” I gave a dry chuckle.

  “No.” He said eyeing me.

  “Then why are you staring at me, man?”

  “I’m trying to see who Mason looks more like…you or Camilla.” He leaned back and smirked. “I think he looks like you though. It’s all in the eyes. Camilla spit Chloe out but you definitely spit Mason out. I don’t know how the hell nobody else can see that.” He smiled; quite fucking proud of himself and then went back to scrolling on his phone. Meanwhile I was sitting there totally thrown for a loop. For a full minute I couldn’t even say shit.

  “How did you know?” I finally asked him.

  “Oh, shit…I just put two and two together. Camilla said she hasn’t fucked you since she got pregnant with Mason, and looking at the way you are with him it’s easy to tell.

  Plus he looks exactly like you. Which I mean in your defense it’s easy to pass him off as your brother’s kid since everyone will just write him off as looking similar enough to Alexander.” He shook his head with a smile.

  “Nobody really pays attention to how little man acts though. Maybe because he’s a baby. I think his personality is set already, and he acts like you.” At this I frowned thoughtfully. I’d never even realized that Mason acted like me.

  “You think he acts like me?” I quizzed.

  “Exactly like you. He’s the calmest baby I’ve ever seen. He only gets upset when either Camilla or Chloe are upset. I’ve seen him get pretty pissed when you’re not around too.”

  “Cole, you can’t say anything. I think you already know that though.”

  “Yeah. I know. I just don’t know why you’re keeping it hidden. I would think that as much as you love Camilla you’d be shouting it from the rooftops.” He rested his elbows on the table and watched me for a response.

  “I want her to be happy.” I began. “I wanted her to have a normal life and not this twisted shit with me. I thought Alexander could give it to her. I thought I’d be able to just stand by and watch Mason grow up and be content with him calling me uncle.” Once the words tumbled out of my mouth I realized how fucking stupid that shit was. Cole realized it too, which would explain why he was laughing like an idiot.

  “You really thought…” He paused and held his side. “You really thought you could have a baby with Camilla and sit back and watch your brother raise it? Do you even know yourself at all?” He sighed and shook his head. “Nah man, go head and get your family before either you or Camilla end up killing somebody. Then I’m gonna have to be on a damn cover up mission and shit.” He grumbled. “Yall never think about me in none of this. Oh let me just shoot this motherfucker. Cole will handle it.”

  “Man, stop bitching. Nobody is gonna get killed.”

  “Yeah okay. Then don’t call me to clean up anything or cover up anything when they do.”

  “If you saw through the fact that I’m Mason’s father then it’s only so long before Alexander finds out.” I ran a palm over my face and groaned. I had to figure out how to tell Camilla about Mason whether I wanted to or not. She’d never forgive me if she found out on her own.

  “I don’t think she’ll be as mad as you might think.” Cole said, pulling me out of my own thoughts.

  “You don’t?”

  “Nah. I mean she’ll blow up at first. You know how she is…but once she settles back down she’ll be fine.”

  “I guess you’re just an expert on Camilla now, huh?” I eyed him curiously.

  “Something like that. I’m stuck listening to her talk all the time.” He did much more than listen to her talk, I could tell by how he had her wrapped around his finger. He was more of a lover-friend than anything. I was just glad he didn’t seem like he was getting attached to her in an emotional way.

  “You’re just never going to come clean about fucking her are you?” I asked.

  “What? You’re still on that shit? I’m not fucking her.”

  “Okay.” I stood up and clapped him on the shoulder.

  “She wants to see you.” Cole said nonchalantly.

  “I wanna see her too. I can’t though. Not after last night. I’m this close to saying fuck all this shit. I almost told her about Mason.” I grabbed a beer from the fridge for myself and set one down in front of Cole. He cracked it open and sighed heavily.

  “She’s gonna come see you. Let me put it like that. You already know that. Camilla does what she wants.”

  “Can’t argue with you there.”

  “I’m gonna watch the munchkins so yall can talk. Just talk Manny.” He laughed.

  “This is Camilla we’re talking about. Have you tried to just talk to her when she has other things on her mind?” My candor made Cole nod emphatically and I knew they’d been closer than they should have. I made a mental note and moved on.

  “Well like I said, she’s coming to see you so…be ready.” He warned, standing up. He finished his beer and showed himself out.

  “Hey Cole…” I called before he got into his car. He paused and looked at me. “Dempsey would be proud of you man.” I watched a genuine smile form on his face.

  “Thanks, Manny. That means a lot.” He jogged up to me and gave me a hug. I wasn’t expecting that, not from Cole. He was such an aloof kind of guy that emotions didn’t seem to be a part of his demeanor.

  “He’d be proud of you too. Probably even prouder when you marry Camilla.” He shrugged and tossed up two fingers before driving off.

  Cole was absolutely right about Camilla. She came straight to my house later that evening and she knew she looked good too. She wore a tight pair of jeans and a white silk blouse with her hair hanging down her back. Her nails were freshly done and her face looked perfect. I just stared at her for a minute.

  She greeted me with a hug, pressing her body against mine, her scent invading me and making me crazy with desire. I kissed the top of her head and led her inside watching her hips and ass in those jeans. I wanted to do some very nasty things to her but that would have to wait.

  “You okay after last night?” I asked, trying to look at anything but her.

  “No, I thought I would be but he threatened to keep Mason from me if I thought about leaving and being with you.” Her perfectly lined eyes started to water with tears and I could feel something in me snapping.

  “What?” I could feel my chest rumbling with a growl. “He said what?”

  “He said he’d fight me tooth and nail over Mason if I left to be with you. Told me he was the one with
my records and how I was mentally unstable.” She was full on crying now and I felt my nails digging into the heel of my hand the more she talked. “Then he finally came clean about Anais.” She paused and looked at me, her head tilted to the side.

  “Emmanuel, are you okay?” She asked me. When her hand touched the side of my face I pulled her into me.

  “Nobody will ever take Mason from you. I need you to understand that.” I looked into her eyes with intensity and she nodded.

  “I just don’t know what to do. I feel like I have to work it out now.”

  “Fuck that. Do you want to be with him forever? Tell me now Camilla.”

  “No, I don’t want to be with him forever,” she sniffled. I looked down and her ring was gone. Relief flooded my chest and spread out to my limbs.

  “He can’t take Mason. He can’t fight you over Mason.” I felt the words searing into my tongue begging to be let out but I still felt like it wasn’t time. I needed her to completely break things off with Alexander. I could help her along the way though.

  “But he’s a doctor. He has my records stating I have bipolar disorder…”

  “So…what? Do you think I’d let that happen?” My finger traced her delicate neck and I watched her eyes flutter closed. Her black feathery lashes rested against her cheek making her look like a painting.

  “No, you always protect me,” she said softly. I clasped my fingers around her throat like I’d been dying to do for so long.

  “I’ll always protect you,” I told her. “You’re mine.” With her eyes closed she nodded. We were both in some sort of trance now and there was nothing to break it apart.

  “I know.” She swallowed and the motion her throat made begged for me to suck on her flesh. The deep bruises I’d left on her perfect skin last night peeked under her collar. “I’m scared though, Emmanuel.” I frowned and kissed her cheek gingerly.

  “Why?”

  “We’re wrong together.” She opened her eyes and sucked me in. “How are we supposed to be together?”

  “It doesn’t matter anymore.” I swallowed back the truth about Mason.

  “How will people see us?”

  “Like social monstrosities. But who cares? Why would you give up what makes you happy just for a life of misery?”