Cowboy's Baby

by S. L. Finlay

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Waking before the sun, I threw on some clothes and watched the sun rise on the porch. The day was beautiful and I felt at ease to enjoy the day and myself.

  I settled in to a rocking chair and let my mind wash over with all the questions I needed to ask the owner when I had his ear. I knew he was a busy man and that he didn't have time to manage me. He would want me to learn in the office quickly so he could go back to ranch work. If the man liked paperwork, they wouldn't need me to begin with. That I was here spoke volumes about how much the owner knew and cared about the IRS, the ranches book keeping and all the other issues on the ranch.

  Letting all my thoughts settle inside my head, I admired the tranquillity of the sky, the dirt and the peace of this place. I could see why the owner didn't want to have to deal with anything in the outside world. I wouldn't want to deal with it either. Working here, I felt wouldn't be like work after a while. This was a lifestyle job, if there ever was one.

  The connection that these men (and they were all men barring the woman who worked in the home) felt to the land must be intense. I smiled as I breathed in the pre-dawn air as I watched the sky change colour.

  The beauty was what I came here for. My own homeland was a beautiful country, and this was also a beautiful country. I had always felt connected to my homeland, as in, to the land itself and to the seasons. So this was something different. I wanted to be outside. I wanted to get amongst it.

  As I was admiring the tranquillity of the place, I heard a door open and close to my left and turned to see a figure walking out onto the porch. I couldn't see the person's face, but could see the size of them, the shape of their body. It was a man.

  Evidently, as I could see them, they could see me as well. They started walking towards me, then they stopped. As they drew closer, I could see it was Billy. His eyes met mine and he closed his own then shook his head and turned to walk away. He sat at the other end of the porch to me and lit up a cigarette. Quietly, he sat there and took in the view of the sunrise. Neither of us spoke to the other. Neither of us were interested in ever acknowledging the others presence after we had realised who the other person sitting on the porch had been.

  I shook my head and watched.

  Later, I walked back into the house for the normal breakfast. We all ate together at breakfast time (usually, unless the boys were going out earlier as they had for the last three days).

  At breakfast, the ranch owner made a point to sit near me and started talking about my work.

  "What do you need to know?" He asked straight up.

  I chewed on an egg and swallowed before answering, "I went into the office yesterday but couldn't work out how you had been keeping your books to date. Also, does that computer have an internet connection?"

  The owner sucked his teeth, "The computer?" He asked, as if he had no idea there was a computer in the ranch at all. I wanted to smile, but fought the urge as I knew it would come across as rude, even if I didn't mean it to be. This was just a bit funny.

  I nodded. "The computer, in the office?" My words were half a question as I didn't want to sound rude reminding him he had an office, or a computer, that he had obviously completely forgotten about.

  Shaking his head, the owner told me more than I needed to know.

  "Who normally does your books?" I asked.

  The ranch owner gave me a little smile and indicated towards the woman who helped in the ranch. I nodded, realising the problem right there: she had far too much to do to keep on top of the books, plus, that was perhaps a more specialist job than she could get her head around.

  "Okay." I said, taking her in with a smile, "So, can you get her to show me how she manages the books?"

  The owner nodded, evidently he was relieved that he would have less work to do. "I'll get her to show you today." He told me before wandering into the kitchen after the woman in question. I hoped because the owner was asking her to help me, that she would be kinder to me than normal. Perhaps more helpful too.

  As I watched the owner disappear, I felt someone's eyes on me and when I turned towards the person who had been staring at me, wasn't surprised to see Billy looking at me. His face was one of annoyance, as if I had done something to annoy him. I sighed and turned back to my food.

  What was with that guy? Why did he have to behave all broody and like I was doing the wrong thing all the time just by breathing?

  I finished my eggs as quickly as I could and as everyone else started to file out onto the ranch to start their work, I headed into the kitchen to help the lady who worked there.

  "Can I help you clean all this up?" I asked.

  She was standing at the sink, which stood before a big window. She had the water running which caused the bubbles in the sink to bellow out and spread across the surface of the water.

  "Do you want me to do that?" I asked, motioning towards the bubble filled sink.

  She nodded, "Sure." She told me in a softer tone than she had used on me previously. "I'll go get the rest."

  Together we tackled the kitchen dishes before she turned to me both our hands covered in soap suds, "You're taking over the books?"

  I nodded, "Sure am."

  "And you need help?" She asked.

  I took a breath before telling her, "Yeah. I just need to know what system you had before so I can find all the information I need. I have never kept books for an American company – or ranch, sorry – but I know numbers. I studied finance at university."

  The woman nodded then dried her hands. We were all out of dishes.

  "University?" She asked, her eyebrows raised. "How did you end up here then?"

  It surprised me that she didn't know the story: I imagined she would have been told I was coming, but knew now I had been wrong. Perhaps the ranch owner had been too busy on the ranch to tell her anything. They seemed to have a good relationship, so I couldn't imagine any reason they wouldn't have spoken about me as I was here to lighten her load.

  She was helping me for a while when she noticed I didn't really have anything to call her so she smiled at me and told me, "You can call me Mama."

  "Mama." I said as I smiled and gave a little nod. "I can do that."

  For the next two hours or so, Mama and I sifted through the papers on the desk, she showed me how to connect to the internet on the computer, We chatted a bit about what had been done to date with the books and how far behind the paperwork was.

  "Yeah. It's pretty messy." Mama told me.

  I sighed as I looked down at a jumble of papers on the desk. That was no understatement, it was all pretty messy.

  "Well. I best get back to the kitchen." Mama told me.

  Then she was gone and I was alone with the mess that was the ranche¬s' books.

  CHAPTER SIX

  It took me weeks until I had the books in any sort of order, let alone being able to do anything with them, however, my days were pretty sameish every week day. I would get up, eat breakfast and get working. On weekends, I mostly walked around the ranch, found good places to relax and did some writing in my journal.

  A few weeks into my boring routine I had bought a book from the ranch library - it was only a few shelves, but we called it a library - with me for a walk around the ranch and was sitting in a tree reading when I heard male voices.

  They started way off and got closer and closer until they were right below me. I had been ignoring them so I could read, figuring they would pass under me without seeing me up in the tree, but they didn't. They were lingering.

  Trying to ignore them I kept reading. I was pretty bored of my life at this ranch so far, and found all the boys to be pretty dull. I enjoyed my alone time and wasn't going to let anyone else interrupt it.

  Then I heard something that made me stop reading. It made my breath catch in my throat.

  They were talking about me. They were talking about the work I was doing. They weren't happy about it.

  "That Australian is going to catch on to us." The f
irst man said to the second.

  "She's not that bright." Came the lower, huskier voice of the second man.

  "It's so obvious once you look at the books Tony!" The first man said to the second man.

  I could hear Tony heaving a deep sigh under me, and moved to close the book I had been holding over my face as quietly as possible before placing it on my tummy and drawing my legs in closer to my body so if they looked up, they wouldn't see me.

  "She won't notice." Tony told him, "Because she won't be looking for it. Who would have thought we would be running this trade here? Besides, she's just taken some time off from school. She is here to see America, not here to get us into trouble."

  My mind raced, there was only one Tony on the ranch. He was a tough looking guy - all of the guys were tough looking though - who worked hard and mostly kept to himself. He only really ate with two or three other guys at breakfast and dinner. I guessed this guy must be one of them. But who was it and what was I supposed to find? Or not find?

  I felt a little offended to hear that they thought I wasn't that bright, but tried not to get upset as I lay in my tree, trying not to be seen or heard, just listening quietly.

  I wasn't sure what they were talking about. They kept making vague references to something, but weren't saying anything outright. It sounded like there was something on the ranch that they were hiding, or they were hiding something about the ranch. I wasn't sure. I did know though that they were worried about the books.

  Whatever it was, it must be all there, yet I hadn't seen anything that told me anyone was hiding anything yet. Mostly I had been trying to get the mess of books into some sort of order. It was difficult to decipher anything at this stage when all you had was paperwork, receipts and an old computer that really should have been eaten by the Y2K bug ages ago.

  When the men left, I lay in the tree for a little longer before lowering myself to the ground and leaving the other way. I would go the long way back to the ranch homestead so I didn't run into them. I didn't know quite what I would do when I got back, but I knew I had some serious work to do.

  Those guys were up to something and I was deadly curious what it was.

  For the first time in weeks, I started picking through the paperwork with some enthusiasm. I had felt so bored with everything before, they were simply white papers sitting before me on the desk and I wasn't sure what to do with them, yet now I had some direction. I would get everything in order so I could find some discrepancies. This felt important, and urgent.

  That evening at dinner, a few of the ranchers said they would be going into town. Tony and his friends agreed to go with them. That meant I had the homestead mostly to myself. The only ones who were staying were the ranch owner who always stayed back when they went into town on a Saturday night, Mama, myself and Billy.

  The boys badgered Billy to join them but he just shook his head. "I'll save my money." He told them as he turned back to finish his dinner when they were all rushing out the door, half-eaten plates of food left behind.

  "They're a real mess!" The ranch owner said to no-one in particular as he looked at their plates in the now quiet room.

  Mama started cleaning up and gave him a smile, "They're your boys." She told the ranch owner in a way that reminded me of two parents talking about their children. Their eyes lingered, their smiles were warm and wide.

  I looked away as I felt a little awkward, as if I was intruding on their private moment. When I looked away my eyes met with Billy's who sat on the other side of the table, a few seats up from myself. He had a funny sort of look on his face as he held my gaze, as if he was enjoying my embarrassment.

  The look on his face annoyed me, so I gave him what I hoped was a hard stare back, but couldn't bring myself to really do it. I wasn't mad enough. I was mostly just embarrassed about what I had seen, and distracted by Billy.

  As determined as I was to be mad at him because he had been a smart ass and had been grumpy with me since I had arrived, I couldn't really bring myself to do it. Unbidden, my face cracked into a smile. I guessed that was the power of a good looking man on women like me. We just couldn't be mad, we couldn't be upset or angry or anything. We just wanted to smile at them, to soak up all their good looks.

  He softened me, and without my realising it everyone else had left the room. When he cleared his throat, it bought me back to the room. He stood and I followed.

  "Goodnight." He said to me before disappearing down a side door. My legs wanted to follow him but I couldn't bring myself to do it. The things I would do to that man if I had half a chance!

  I shook the thought out of my head and went to my own bedroom.

  I hated him, but I liked him. And I hated myself for liking him so much. He was such an asshole to me! Always prancing about, looking so good, so tasty, and so unattainable. When he did talk to me it was always rude too, short sentences and grumpy tones to note the grumpy looks on his face when he looked at me.

  Nope, I deserved better. I was like a princess from a Disney movie, and they always get the guy. I wasn't going to not get the guy because I wasn't going to put myself in the race. This guy was an idiot. He was rude, and dirty from the ranch, and the way he talked. Ugh. The way he talked was awful, he had an awful accent and when he thought he was out of hearing of myself and Mama he would swear like a sailor.

  I should have picked New York. The men are much nicer there, as they are in every city. They are polished. They are more like the princes you see in fairy tales. I wanted my fairy tale romance while I was away in America, the romance I wouldn't have admitted to wanting had someone asked me about it out loud, and I obviously wasn't going to get it hanging around here.

  Sinking into my bed, I thought more about Billy than I did my actual problem: that these guys who were actually quite big and scary were worried about something I could find in the books. My mind raced ahead as I thought of all the things it could be: guns and drugs? Oh! It could be like every movie ever. Was this the sort of place where you grew cocaine? What did cocaine look like when it was growing in the ground? How would I know it when I saw it?

  I shook my head at the thought. It couldn't be anything like that. Drugs were too obvious.

  Before I got there, too, the ranch owner mostly worked with the guys, so if they were doing something bad that they didn't want him to know about, wouldn't he have seen it?

  But if it was in the books, it wouldn't be obvious to everyone. It would only be obvious in the books that no-one looked at.

  My fingers itched, I wanted to get back into that office and do some work. My work was normally so boring, but I was so keen to get in there and do something. I was so keen to get some work done, just so I could find out what was going on.

  It was just like a movie, only one hundred times more boring.

  When I finally fell asleep after all the excitement of Billy's gorgeous self and the drama of there being some big bad secret hidden in the ranches accounting having kept me up for way too long, my dreams were of course full of Billy's sexy self, doing my job.

  The next day when I woke up, I felt a little strange sitting at breakfast across from him, yet he was back to his normal way of ignoring me.

  When he left to go into town for something, Mama pulled me aside to ask if I could give her some help in the kitchen. I had nothing else to do so I agreed to help her out.

  She waited until everyone was out of earshot before asking me, "So, you and Billy huh?"

  I flushed red and shook my head. "There's nothing going on there, Mama."

  Mama laughed at my reaction then gently prodded me. "Is that so?"

  "That is so." I told her with a stern nod.

  She shook her head and looked down at the dishes she had asked me to help her with. I hadn't helped her at all, she didn't need it. She mostly wanted the company I think and some girly gossip.

  "Well, I for one think you would be cute together." She told me.

  My mouth was quicker than my mind as it spat out a pe
rfectly reasonable answer about why that would never work, "I don't think so." My mouth said, "I go back to Australia soon."

  Mama was laughing now, "You don't go back that soon!" She told me, "And besides, you can always stay there. There ain't nothing stopping you! You're a big girl!"

  The reminder that I was on my own – and in fact a big girl – felt a little strange. I didn't feel any different to the crying girl at the airport. I was glad no-one here had heard about it. The truth was though that no-one here would care if they did hear about it. I hadn't made a single friend since coming to the ranch. My days were long and boring. They were either full of work or full of reading and writing. Spending time in the sunshine was nice, but mostly I just missed my family and friends back home.

  I tried not to let the thought of what I was missing eat me up too much as I turned back to Mama and told her the truth, "I do like him, but I don't like that I like him."

  Her face was one of surprise. I was sure she was just surprised to hear me admit it though. "Okay." She told me, "So what's wrong? Why don't you like that you like him?"

  "I just feel a little weird about it is all. It's nice to like someone and all, but I don't think it's a good idea. He's not my type." I told her.

  "But he is your type if you like him!" She told me.

  Shaking my head I watched her expert hands cleaning the dishes and feeling for spots that need washing off without looking at them. Her eyes were on me.

  Mama had a point, she did. But I didn't want to like this guy. Sure he was hot, but he was so uncouth. He wasn't the type of guy who I could take home to meet my family and friends. We were all far to gentrified for a cowboy.

  But when he was in his element, when he was working or covered in dirt from working, damn was he hot!