Wanting More

by Jennifer Foor

  To be perfectly honest, I had a hard time performing. Here was this chick with a rocking hot body, who was ready and willing to give me whatever I wanted, but looking at her just made me think of what I was losing. I rolled her over, flipping her around, so that I could hit that shit from the back and not have to look at her. It was better and let me concentrate more, plus it hid my disgust. The more I thrusted inside of her, the more I thought about all the things she'd done to my family, starting with Van. I grabbed her hair and rammed into her as hard as I could, taking out all my frustrations. Her head began slamming into the headboard, but I kept up my pace regardless. She cried out and I knew I was hurting her, but I didn't care. I wanted to hurt her. Without even thinking, I reached around and put my hands around her neck, while I rocked my hard cock into her. She cried out, feeling me releasing against her.

  Afterwards, I walked into the bathroom to flush the rubber down the toilet. I could tell my eyes were dilated and hated myself for taking the damn pills, even though without them I wouldn't have been able to go through with it. Heather followed me in the bathroom and started the shower. "How's your night so far, sexy?"

  I closed my eyes and kissed the top of her head. The bile was sitting at the base of my throat. "I'll show you when you get out of the shower. Get all clean for me, baby."

  I waited for her to climb in and start washing her hair before I ran into her room and started ripping through her shit. It didn't take me long to find a camera sitting on her dresser. I stood in front of the door, so I could hear when the water turned off, and began flipping through the pictures. After at least a hundred ridiculous ones, I stood there looking at the proof I'd needed the whole time. Ty was set up for sure. Over twenty pictures of two people trying to pose him to look like he was doing something with Heather. It was clear in every photo that he was completely unconscious. Her cell phone starting ringing across the room and I didn't want her to hear it and come running, so I reached over to shut it off and saw Rick's damn picture lighting up on the screen. I hit ignore and started flipping through her messages, noticing that for the past month they had been sending each other a lot more than hellos and goodbyes. In fact, the messages went all the way back to the night of our double date. Apparently when Amy and I had our little meeting in the bathroom, they were exchanging numbers. A new message chimed and when I saw it, I couldn't believe it at first.

  When can I see you again? -R

  "Holy fuck!"

  Talk about a full fucking circle. I knew he cheated on Amy, even she knew it, but to hook up with someone his wife was hooking someone else up with, that was fucked up.

  I don't even remember putting my clothes on, but I was dressed and on my way out of the house. I thought I'd have to spend the night to find what I was looking for.

  I heard the water turning off when I reached the front door. I don't know what got into me, but I went into her room and sat down on her bed.

  She walked in with a big smile on her face, but when she saw me sitting with the camera in my hands, she froze. "What are you doing?" She tried to grab it, but I pulled it away from her.

  "How long ago was this taken? I mean, you said you haven't seen anyone in over a year, but these were just months ago and clearly there is more going on than hanging out with friends."

  She shook her head. "No, it isn't what you think. I swear, it was just a joke we played on our drunk friend. We never even had sex. He was passed out the whole time, you have to believe me. Conner, I really like you. I want this to work between us. Just tell me what I have to do to prove it."

  I started to chuckle. "Who's the guy?"

  "Just a friend from school."

  "So you never slept with him before?"

  She shook her head and put her hands in her face. "He's the one I was in love with. He's married now with kids."

  "So you played this kind of joke on a married man? Did he think it was funny?"

  She shrugged her shoulders and started to cry. "I don't know. I never told him I took the pictures."

  "Heather, I'm all about havin' a good time, but this seems like some kind of blackmail scheme. Were you planning on keeping these and showing them to people."

  "Conner, just forget about them." She was freaking out and it made me want to laugh in her pathetic face. "It's ancient history."

  "You did show them didn't you?"

  She continued to cry. "Yeah, I did okay. He hurt me and I just wanted to hurt him, so I showed the pictures to his little bitch wife. Are you happy now?"

  I got up in her face. "Let me tell you what I am, Heather. I have this sister that I would lay down and die for and because some stupid whore had a vendetta with her husband, she took pictures of the guy and made it look like he'd cheated on her. She went out with her young daughter and hit a deer on her way to leave her husband. My sister went into premature labor and started to bleed to death. She delivered twin boys, that had to be out on respirators, while she fought to stay alive. All because of your fucking pictures. You want to know how I feel about stupid little bitches that think they can ruin people's lives for fun? You should be charged with attempted manslaughter. I almost lost my only sister."

  She backed away from me and balled up like I was going to hurt her. "Please, I didn't know she was your sister. You have to believe me. You never told me you were related to her. You said you were here on business."

  "I am."

  "I didn't know about the accident Conner, I swear I wouldn't have done it. I'm so sorry. Oh my god I'm so sorry."

  I stood up and tossed her cell phone at her. "Call someone who cares." When I reached the doorway, I stopped and turned around. "You come near my family again, for any fucking reason, and I swear to god I will kill you myself. You understand?"

  She shook her head as I walked out.

  Chapter 26

  Amy

  I was sitting at home, trying to find something to watch or do to keep my mind off of what I knew was happening. Knowing that Conner was with Heather made me feel sick to my stomach. I didn't get why he felt like he had to sleep with her. I guess it was all part of his ultimate revenge plan, but the fact that he was willing to go that route, even when I begged him not to, hurt me so much.

  I kept checking my phone, looking for messages from him, but the screen was still empty.

  I had no appetite, nor did I want to soak in a tub and try to relax. There was no way for me to relax.

  After two glasses of cheap wine, I was feeling more calm. When the bottle was finished off I knew I would be able to fall asleep.

  I don't know what time it was, but a vibrating phone woke me up. I was on the couch and the television was still on. I knew who the caller was since he was the only person to have the number.

  Hello?

  Blaze, I need you.

  It didn't matter how groggy I was or that I'd had too many glasses of wine to drink. I wasn't worried about being caught. All I cared about was getting to Conner.

  Where are you?

  I'm sitting on the side of the road.

  Have you been drinking? His words were slurred and he didn't sound normal.

  Yes.

  Tell me where you are and I'll come get you. I knew what I was saying, but I'd been drinking too. Shit!

  He told me where he was and I didn't hesitate when I left my house and headed in his direction. His truck was pulled over in an old parking lot. I pulled up beside him and rushed to his passenger side door. He leaned over and opened it for me to be able to climb inside.

  Conner looked terrible.

  Aside from him looking like he'd been crying again, his eyes were barely open. "I fucked up, Amy."

  "I don't want to know the details. It hasn't exactly been an easy night for me."

  He grabbed my hand and sat it in his lap. "I ain't even talkin' about that part. I had to do something' else tonight."

  I don't know why, but the first thing that came to my mind was that he killed Heather. Not that I would ever think Conner was th
at violent of a man, but after everything she had done, maybe he just lost it and accidentally killed her. My eyes got wide and I looked right at him. "What did you do? Please tell me it wasn't anything illegal."

  He scrunched up his face like it pained him to talk about it. "It depends. If nobody reports me, then I think I'm in the clear."

  My heart was beating like a freight train was coming straight at me. "Oh my God, Conner, what did you do? Do we need to leave town? Do you think they found the body yet? Oh God this is so bad, just tell me how to help you. I know it was an accident..."

  He put his hand over my mouth and started laughing at me. "Would you shut up. Damn, you really think I killed a person? Are you for real right now?" He kept laughing at me as I shrugged and felt both bad for assuming and relieved that he hadn't. "I popped two Percs at Heather's. I tried to drink down some whiskey before I went in, but I still couldn't focus. I've never had a damn problem until you came along and fucked up everything about the way I lived my life."

  I was shocked. Was he blaming me for doing drugs? I backed away in my seat and pushed him even further away from me. "Screw you. Don't you dare do that! Don't you dare blame me for the shit you did. I have nothing to do with your stupid choices."

  I was so pissed at him that I wanted to jump out of the truck and go home. I guess the little bit of wine I had was enough to come out of my quiet shell and take up for myself.

  "It has EVERYTHING to do with you! I never gave a shit before. Fuckin' was about fuckin' and nothin' else. Now, all I have are these damn feelin's that make me think about what I'm doin’ before I do it. You can be as pissed as you want, but I couldn't just go in there and fuck her without somethin' to make me forget how much I'd be hurtin' you."

  He punched the steering wheel with his fists. "Damnit woman, you just don't get it do you? You just don't understand how much I love you. Being near her made me sick. You really think the old me would have passed on an easy lay like that? My God she's been throwin' her pussy at me since the first night we met. I could have pounded that shit right in the parking lot that night, but I didn't. Do you know why, Amy? Do you know why I didn't?"

  I was crying. Partly because he was blaming me and the other reason being because he really was completely in love with me. This man, this broken man, that I was completely in love with, was broken again and this time I was to blame. "Go ahead and tell me Conner. You're obviously going to anyway."

  "Because the idea of never being able to have you again made me want to die. Because seein' you leave with that piece of shit husband of yours was my breakin' point. I wanted you for myself and after bein' around that, I knew I was goin' to have it."

  "Conner, don't talk like that!"

  He got up in my face and I didn't back away this time. "It's the fuckin' truth, Blaze. You think that worrying about me bein' with Heather is bad, you think about how many months I've had to lay in my bed thinking' about him touchin' and fuckin' what was mine. You can fight me and deny it all you want, but after that first night together, you've always been mine."

  I couldn't look into his painful eyes and lie anymore about my feelings. I knew when I gave myself to him that night that it was more for me. At the time, I'd assumed it was just sex for him, but he kept being there and supporting me. There wasn't a time where I couldn't count on him.

  “You’re right. You're totally right, Conner. I started falling for you that night. It wasn't the first time you'd come to my rescue. It was easy for me to fall right into your arms every time you came around. I suppose I wanted you to seduce me. At first, I wanted to believe that someone like you could want someone as damaged as me. I just never thought this would come out of it."

  He leaned back in his seat, but grabbed my hand and kissed it. "Well, it did and I'm tired of fuckin' waitin' for it to be the right time. For months you've said you were leavin' him and I know there's two ways this story plays out. You'll either leave or you'll stay."

  "You know my choice! How could you even think that I don't want to be with you completely? That's all I want."

  I noticed that the radio had been playing the whole time when the truck got quiet. Some rock song that I didn't recognize was playing and Conner patted his fingers against the steering wheel to the tune. I really looked at him while he stared out into the night. He was mine. This handsome beautiful man had my heart and all he was asking was for me to be with him. I didn't care that he'd taken a pill, but I did need to make sure I was never the reason he wanted to do it again. "I want to be with you and never have to look behind my back again. I have a plan but it may take a couple of months. I'm not going to stop seeing you or being with you. I don't give a shit about the Heather thing anymore, as long as it’s really over with. I'm tired of us not being on the same page. I'm tired of crying myself to sleep thinking about you."

  He grabbed my arms and pulled me over to him, while reaching around and guiding me to straddle him. The steering wheel was stuck in my back, so I leaned my body right against his chest. "I don't want to ever make you cry, Amy. I want you to know you're loved every damn day. I can wait out your plan so there are no loose ends, but I can't promise you that I will be patient."

  "I don't expect you to be." I leaned into him and pressed my lips over his. As I pulled away, I noticed just how out of it he was. "Are you going to want to take another pill?"

  He shrugged and leaned back in his seat. "Probably. I don't think it will be as bad as the withdrawals before, but it won't be fun for a couple days."

  "Stay with me tonight." Yeah, it was a horrible idea, but Rick was off in another state and he still had a whole day of driving before he dropped off the load. As long as I was able to sneak him into the house, it would be fine. Since it was dark, the neighbors would already be in bed.

  "That ain't smart."

  I ran my hands over his cheeks. "Please let me take care of you."

  He pulled his keys out of the ignition and put them in my hand. "I'm not in any shape to drive. If you think it's safe we can go there, if not I will pay for a room. Just drive me somewhere."

  After switching to my car, I decided it would be safer if we just went to the hotel. The clerk gave me dirty looks when I came in with Conner's ID, but since we'd been there before she didn't question it. By the time we'd gotten there Conner was in bad shape. He couldn't keep his eyes open and had told me he'd finished off the bottle of whiskey right before I arrived to meet him.

  He was fucked up and I wondered if he would even remember our conversation.

  Once I got him into the room, he plopped face first onto the bed.

  I pulled off his shoes and removed his pants. As difficult as it was, I was able to get him to get under the covers and at least use a pillow.

  I started taking off my clothes and climbed into bed beside him. When I wrapped my arms around him he started laughing.

  I reached my hand and found his to thread our fingers together. "What's funny?"

  "We can't have sex tonight, darlin'."

  "I wasn't trying to. Why is that even funny?"

  He kept laughing. "My dick can't take anymore tonight. Not after the poundin' it went through earlier."

  I swear I literally stopped breathing for a second. Now, I knew all about drunk people and how they ran their mouths about things they shouldn't. That wasn't what hurt me.

  I knew there was a chance they were going to have sex, but when he said it the way he did, it stabbed me right in the heart. I was lying next to a man that had been with another woman just hours before. I pulled away from him and immediately started to cry.

  So much for being strong.

  He grabbed my hand and tried to pull me back against him. "Are you jealous? You want me to fuck you like that? I'll give you whatever you want, darlin'."

  I kept telling myself it was because he was stoned. He would never hurt me like that.

  But he was...

  Tears streamed down my eyes. "Shut up! So help me God, I will leave your ass here all alone if yo
u don't shut up right now."

  "Don't be jealous."

  "I'm not!"

  He sat up and turned in my direction. He couldn't even keep his eyes open when he talked. I watched him lift his arms and point to me. "You are so."

  I could barely speak I was crying so bad. "Did you wear protection, Conner? Please tell me you did."

  He scrunched his face up. "How could you even ask me that, Blaze?"

  "I want a straight answer."

  "Yes. You're the only woman I've ever been with and not used somethin'. I told you that the first time we were together. After feelin' how much better it felt, I never wanted to wear one again, but yeah, I wore protection. Not that you have to worry about me givin' you something from Heather. I'm afraid if she has somethin' you and I may already have it."

  I sat down on the bed and shook my head. "What are you talking about? I've never slept with someone that Heather's been with."

  He laughed again and it was really pissing me off. "When is the last time you slept with Rick?"

  I wanted to vomit and for the first time since we got to the hotel, Conner's eyes got real big. "Why are you asking me that?"

  "Answer me."

  I swallowed the knot in my throat. "I don't know. Months ago. Maybe it was even longer. It's been a long time. He and I stay away from each other now."

  He grabbed my hands and played with them. "Darlin', Rick's fuckin' Heather."

  Chapter 27

  Conner

  I woke up wondering where the hell I was at. To make matters worse, Amy was in the room with me and she wasn't sharing my bed. I tried to think back on what had happened, but it was all a blank after I left Heather's place.