Coming Back to You

by Devon Youngblood

  I’m not sure how I got inside the house, but here I am, huddled in the corner rocking myself back and forth. The tears are streaming down my face. It should have been me. Adrenaline courses through my veins and I can’t stop thinking it should have been me over and over. In the distance, I hear a knock on the door but I can’t move. I am paralyzed with grief. The sound of pounding grows louder, more demanding, but I still can’t move. I can hear Maura yelling through the door for me to answer, but I can’t move. I wish she would go away. I don’t want her to see me like this.

  Running my hands through my hair, I continue to cry uncontrollably. No one can help me. I’m supposed to be dead. I shouldn’t be alive, not when Dean is lying six feet under.

  Somehow, Maura makes it inside. I force myself to look up and I can see the stricken look on her face. She shouldn’t be here witnessing this. She rushes to me and kneels down eye level to me. She cradles my face and kisses my check. “What are you doing in the corner? What happened? And why is your hand wrapped up like that?” She asks.

  “It’s my fault. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t be here," I sob. “I just can’t take this.”

  “Shhhh.” She wraps her body around mine in an attempt to stop me from rocking back and forth, but my body refuses to oblige.

  “Pierson, look at me. You need to snap out of this. Have you been drinking?” I don’t answer her. She knows.

  “Get the fuck out! I’m no good for you. I’m a mess!” I yell as I try to push her away.

  “You don’t have the right to tell me to get the fuck out! You should have thought of that before you walked back into my life,” she argues with heated fervor.

  The fucking nightmares are real and I have finally been able to break through my psyche. It’s too dangerous for her to be here.

  “I’m not leaving you. Tell me what the hell happened,” she pleads, looking deeply into my eyes.

  Finally after calming myself down, we sit on the couch and I tell her what happened in the war, and what I keep dreaming about, and the bar fight.

  “First of all, fighting in a bar is ridiculous Pierson. And secondly how can you believe Dean dying was your fault? You didn’t know that would happen.”

  “I know, but if I wouldn’t have offered to switch spots then he would be alive. I just figured his post was getting most of the enemy fire and he could catch a quick break by standing at my post.”

  “You need to call your therapist first thing in the morning and tell him what happened. I am not leaving you until then. Don’t even think about arguing with me on this. This is one thing you won’t win. You can hate me in the morning if you want, but for now you'll have to deal with it.” I know better than to argue with her. This woman is nothing but good.

  Leading me into the bedroom by my hand, she positions herself on the bed so that I can rest my head in her lap. She runs her hands through my hair as I lay in silence. I’m in shock over what happened tonight, and her seeing me like that was added torture. It was one of the worst nights I’ve had, aside from the night I tried to kill her. How can she love me? I am broken and damaged. How could she love someone so broken as I am? How am I going to get pieced back together after knowing what I know? It’s no wonder I blocked it out my mind. I wish I didn't know the truth, and how can she still be here with me after I said what I said?

  Finally exhaustion takes over and I sleep.

  Chapter Twenty Four

  Waking up in the morning it takes a moment for my memory to register. Still lying in her lap, I look up and her head is rested against the headboard. My beautifully, brave Maura is sound asleep. I shift my position and she jolts awake.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” I tell her.

  “It’s okay. How are you feeling?” She asks as she rubs her face.

  “Like I’m in desperate need for coffee,” I say. Getting up, I walk towards the kitchen.

  “You know that’s not what I meant, you don’t have to act cocky,” she says, stomping behind me.

  “I know. I’m sorry you had to witness that episode last night. After I drink my coffee I will make the appointment,” I reassure her. “How did you get in last night anyway?”

  “I tried calling you and when you didn’t pick up I got a hold of your land lord to let me in. Why do you have to be so damn difficult? I swear you are impossible. How do you feel about last night? Finally your dream has an explanation.”

  “In one way I’m glad I know now, but then I’m not glad to know he died because of me.” A lump forms in my throat. How can she still be here looking at me the way she is. If I were her I would have ran and never looked back. It sure freaked the hell out of me. I honestly don’t know why she is still here.

  “I want to help you through this. Whatever you need from me, I’m here for you.” She cups my face and tenderly thumbs my scar while gazing into my eyes. “Just so you know, I love you. I have always loved you. We can get through this. Just let me help.”

  I think that’s the first time she has expressed her love for me. I love her and I have told her so but she has never said it back face to face. I never knew you could love someone more than you already do, but you can.

  "What made you come over last night? I thought I wasn't supposed to see you until today," I honestly don't know what would have happened had she not come over.

  "Well I hadn't seen you in a few days and couldn't wait one more. I just had this feeling that I needed to come over."

  I place my hand on the back of her neck to bring her face forward and plant a hard kiss to her lips. Our clothes disappear in a flash and there is an urgent need to taste her, kiss her and be inside of her. I want to feel the wetness between her legs. Kissing her neck makes me high and I'm prepared to give in to the drug that is her. She kneels in front of me while we are still standing in the kitchen and takes my full length inside her wet pout. The warmth of her mouth on me while she gazes at me with smoke filled eyes it is raw and erotic. It's enough to send me over the edge of bliss. Pulling her upward, I flip her on her stomach so she is bending over the table and I position myself behind her, I squeeze her ass cheeks, causing her to moan with anticipation. I pound my hardened shaft inside of her and she screams in ecstasy. Grabbing a handful of her hair, I pull her head back, pounding deeper inside. Once I feel her tighten and release, I succumb to my own and fill her with my love. She arches her back and glances over her shoulder as I lean forward to kiss her bare back.

  “You okay?” I ask, suddenly worried that I might have been too rough with her.

  “I’m fine. That was unbelievable and amazing,” she turns to face me and smiles sheepishly as she pats my chest and kisses me.

  “How did I get so damn lucky?” I ask.

  My heart still aches from the realization of my dreams, but I feel like a weight has been lifted.

  I shower and make the appointment I need. I call into work and tell Don something came up and that I need to call out today.

  “Everything okay?” he asks.

  “Fine, I just need to take care of something,” I tell him. “I will see you tomorrow okay.”

  Once Maura is out of the shower I tell her I made the appointment. “They agreed to see me first thing this morning.”

  “Okay, you know where I will be if you need me.” She stands on her toes to kiss me and I squeeze her into a bear hug.

  “Thank you,” I whisper in her ear.

  “For what?” She asks, tilting her head.

  “For being there for me.”

  “Well somebody has to do it,” she says with a smile.

  “Are you sure you can’t just play hooky and wait for me until I come home?” I ask, flashing my best attempt at puppy dog eyes.

  “No I can’t. I have some important things to do today and I can’t shove it off on Sam and Sara, but I will be by as soon as I can, okay?”

  “Okay. I’ll see you later then.” We walk outside together. Hopping in the truck as she walks the opposite direction to her shop, I cat
ch the sight of her ass in the rearview mirror and it makes me smile. That ass belongs to me, I think to myself.

  At the doc's office, I don’t wait long before I’m ushered in. I hope maybe he can provide some insight as to what is going on with me. At least I had a break through.

  Chapter Twenty Five

  I feel slightly better as I leave the therapist's office. He said I had a major breakthrough and my future looks bright as long as I keep up with my medication. He also wants me to keep up with my sessions, but perhaps reduce the visits to twice a week. This is an improvement and he's getting me back on track. Not only do we talk about my current issues, the therapist has also been helping me deal with my dad's death. He died in the war a year before I graduated high school. The whole town showed up for the funeral but I was mad he was gone. Therapy has been helping me cope with those issues.

  Stopping at my mom’s house before I go home, I tell her what’s been going on and about my dreams. She comes over to where I'm sitting and wraps her arm around my shoulder. “Son, you’re alive. You should honor Dean by living your life. He would want that.”

  I bite back the tears forming in my eyes. Moms always know best and my mom always has just the right words. What she said makes sense.

  “Son, I know you didn’t come home just to see your dear old mom. I knew you would come back for her. Maura is the love of your life. Don’t lose that. She is good for you as you are for her."

  I’m grateful that my mom respects my feelings for Maura. My mom is my rock, but Maura is my soul. Maybe it’s time I show her.

  “I love you Mom,” I hug her and give an extra squeeze.

  “I love you to son,” hugging me, she pats my back then kisses my scarred cheek.

  Arriving home, I catch Maura as she is walking up my driveway. I jump out, slamming the truck door shut and run to her. I pick her up and kiss her like there is no tomorrow.

  “What was that about?” She asks once I release her.

  “I just love you so much.”

  “I love you too, Pierson,” she says looking up at me. I love to hear my name roll off her tongue.

  “I take it you had a good day?” It was more of an observation that a question but I answered anyway.

  “Yes. The doc says I have made significant progress and thinks we can cut my visits down to twice a week. I still need to work on my nightmares and learn to come to terms with things that happened in the war. He also advised me against future binge drinking.”

  “That is great. It’s a step in the right direction,” she declares gleefully, as she grabs my hand.

  Turning, I look into her eyes. “I promise to make things right between us. I don’t know how, but I will. Every time I look in your eyes I see sadness, and I want nothing more than to make you happy.”

  “When you came back into my life, my heart was whole again. I am happy. Shit happens and we’ve been through hell and back and it only makes us stronger,” she says.

  Fuck, this woman gets me like no one else. She deserves a metal for putting up with my ass. “I have a surprise for you but you have to go home and change your clothes. Put on something really nice. I will be by to pick you up at eight.”

  She is giddy with delight. “What kind of surprise?"

  “You will have to wait and see,” I explain as I usher her out the door. After taking a quick shower, I sift through my closet and select gray dress slacks, and a dark blue dress shirt with matching shoes. I take the time to make sure I look good and splash cologne on my neck and face. I plan on making tonight a memorable one. Grabbing my keys, I head out the door and into the truck. I make a stop at the florist on my way to purchase a bouquet of flowers before continuing the short distance to her house.

  As I pull up, I kill the engine. Nervous energy floods through me as I knock on her door. I want her to fall in love with the boy she once knew and I know just how to do that.

  “Hey beautiful,” I say when she answers. I hand her the flowers and watch as she inhales their sweet fragrance. “You look absolutely stunning,” I tell her as she walks to the kitchen and places the bouquet in a vase of water. She is wearing a pink wrap dress that hugs in all the right places.

  “You look incredibly handsome yourself.” She reaches up to hug me. “Mmm, and you smell good too.” Ruby gives me the thumbs up behind Maura’s back.

  “Your carriage awaits my lady,” I say as we walk outside to the truck.

  “Where is this carriage going to take us?” She asks.

  “You’ll see,” I hold her hand while driving with the other. I pull up to the destination and immediately receive the quizzical look I had hoped for.

  “What are we doing at our old high school?”

  “Just trust me, okay?” I tell her.

  Entering our old high school brings back memories, both good and bad. I push those thoughts out of my head and lead her to the gymnasium where I have a table set up with candles and dinner. I had also arranged for music and made sure the lights were low.

  “How did you manage all this?” She asks in amazement.

  “I may or may not have had Ruby’s help.” Her reaction makes me smile. Her eyes sparkle as I hold her chair out for her.

  “This is a beautiful surprise,” she says taking in the decorations of balloons and streamers that totally transform the place.

  We have a light conversation as we eat dinner. As we finish, the strobe light colors reflect off the floor and the music grows slightly louder.

  “May I have this dance?” I stand by her, holding my hand out. I can't help but think back to our first dance together.

  “Of course,” she offers her hand into mine. I lead us to the middle of the floor and we slow dance to the song that is playing. It is just the two of us. She leans upward to kiss me. Her lips are soft and I could kiss them forever. Breaking away, I look deeply into her blue eyes. “You captivate me Maura.”

  “As you do me,” she says, looking up to meet my gaze.

  “I thought we could start over by redoing our first meeting, make a fresh start. Maybe you will fall in love with that boy you once knew.”

  “Pierson I have already fallen in love with the man standing before me,” she says with a wide smile.

  God I love this woman. Tasting her lips, I slip my tongue inside to explore the flavor that is her. With my hand on her back, I can tell the dress is thin enough to feel every inch of her.

  “You look so hot in this outfit,” she says, breaking from the kiss. “I mean, really hot. Hot as in, I would let you take me right this very moment hot,” she says with a laugh. Her cheeks flush.

  “Well then, maybe we should cut this short and head to my place,” I suggest, flashing her a wink.

  “Let’s enjoy the evening. I don’t want to waste anyone’s efforts. This is quite romantic," she sighs.

  The music continues to play as we dance and enjoy the company of each other.

  Chapter Twenty Six

  "I hope you enjoyed the evening," I say, after making it back to my place.

  "I did. It was one of the best nights I've ever had. Thank you," she says gratefully.

  “I had fun as well,” I raise her hand and lightly kiss her fingers.

  We barely make it inside before I have her pinned against the door inside my house. Holding her arms above her head with one hand, I allow the other one to roam her body. I kiss her lustful lips. Her chest rises as she takes a deep breath. I slip my hand under her dress and into her panties.

  “Oh, you’re nice and wet for me,” I say, just before slipping my fingers inside of her. She gasps for air and her breathing becomes ragged and passion filled. Her breasts pop out of the dress and I release her hands from above her head so that I have one hand free to explore her wetness and the other to roam her perky mounds. She grabs my ass and pulls my hardness against her while I nuzzle her neck. She runs her soft hands up my back and my shirt flies off. I untie her dress and it falls in a heap to the floor.

  “These have to go
,” she says fumbling with my belt and pants. I step out of them, kick them to the side and slide down on my knees. Pulling one leg over my shoulder, I bury my tongue inside the slickness of her feminine goodness. She grabs a handful of my hair as I lick and suck at the spot between her thighs. A moan escapes her lips, driving me to the brink of lust filled madness. It doesn’t take long before I lift her, so that her legs can wrap around me I slide my hardness inside of her, sending us both into carnal ecstasy.

  After a quick clean up, we indulge in some of the baked goods that are left over from the other day. She feeds me a bite of a cupcake and it still tastes fresh. I grab a handful of cookies and hungrily pop them in my mouth. There is magic in these. I just know it, I think as I savor the flavor of her baking talents

  “You want to stay the night?” I offer her the option. “I’ll sleep on the couch. I just like having you near me I understand if you don’t want to.”

  “It is probably a bad idea, but what the hell. You are definitely on the couch, though,” she points. I go to the hall closet and grab a sheet and then snatch a pillow off my bed.

  “Fine by me,” I tell her. “Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?”

  “Sure,” she says joining me on the couch.

  Before long, I am fast asleep. Morning comes too fast and if I recall, I did not have any nightmares. I actually feel refreshed and ready to start the day. Just as I flip the switch on the coffee pot, Maura pads into the kitchen.

  “How’d you sleep?” I ask.

  “Great, that bed is so comfortable,” she teases, tormenting me.

  “No need to rub it in." I flash a smile to let her know that I'm taking the comment in stride.

  “How bout’ you?” She asks.