Want Me

by Jo Leigh

  Her mother and father, hurrying from the kitchen, her mom holding an empty cup. Brady, Danny, Myles, Alice and Tim all came thundering from the living room and upstairs. Finally Paula, whom Shannon had met only twice, came stumbling down, tying her robe around her middle.

  “Where have you been?” her mother asked. “We’ve been frantic. God in heaven.” She pulled Shannon away from Nate and into her arms. “Never do that again, young lady. You aged us ten years with that disappearing act. Never again.”

  When Shannon was released, it was for only a second, and then her father took her up in a bear hug. He’d never been the type for hugs, and it was weird to feel him shaking, to feel the strength of his emotion. “Jesus Christ,” he said. “You scared the life out of us.”

  The brothers just stared at her, for which she was more than grateful. When her father let go, she stepped back until she felt Nate at her side. “I’m sorry I made you all worry,” she said. “And I’m sorry for the incredible mess I’ve gotten us all into. I never meant any harm. I don’t know why they thought I was taking money or doing anything unsavory with the cards, but that’s not the point. The fact is, I did use the printing plant for my own reasons. To make trading cards for my friends at the lunch exchange. I never did ask any of the men for their permission. That was wrong, and I’ll apologize to each and every one.

  “Mostly, I’m sorry for the damage I’ve done to Fitzgerald and Sons. I’ve humiliated us all. I don’t know what’s going to happen. People are bound to believe what they’ve heard on the news, even if it is just WNYC. I’ve tried so hard to keep our good name in front of the public, and now we’re a joke, an embarrassment, and that’s all my fault.”

  “It’s…a little more than WNYC,” Danny said.

  “What? What’s happened now?”

  “I’m sorry, Prin—Shannon,” Danny corrected himself and smiled, and that alone almost made her start crying again. “But the internet got wind. Because of Rebecca Thorpe. The story’s out there.”

  Nate’s arm went around Shannon’s shoulders again, and he gave her a squeeze. “There are things we can do after we’ve all had some sleep. A retraction, for one thing. That son of a bitch Grant Yost is looking at a hell of a slander suit, and that’s just from my attorney. I can’t imagine what Rebecca Thorpe’s going to do to him.”

  “But I didn’t get permission.”

  “If you think that there’s a single straight man out there who wouldn’t agree to being on one of your trading cards, then you need to get out more.”

  Shannon blinked up at him. “But—”

  “Am I on a card?” Danny asked.

  “No,” she said, not understanding his tone. He should have been outraged at the thought.

  “Why not? What, I’m not good enough for your lunch exchange?”

  She stared at her brother, wondering if she were hallucinating. “You’d want me to put you on a card?”

  “Hell, yeah. Especially one of those one-night-stand numbers. Wouldn’t that make life easier. Everything right out in the open.”

  “I’d get in on that action,” Tim said. “You know all these women, right? There are no scary ones? I met this woman through an online dating service, and she turned out to be a stalker. She wanted to get married on our second date.”

  “That doesn’t make her a stalker,” Myles said.

  Danny poked Tim with his elbow. “That makes her crazy. Wanting an ugly idiot like you.”

  “Hey, you’re one to talk.”

  “Hold it,” Nate said, his voice carrying over the room. “It’s late. Tomorrow we can talk about everything. Sleep is the next order of business.”

  Shannon’s mom turned to face her boys. “You all go on. Get to your rooms. Myles and Alice, don’t worry about Nate. He’s going to be bunking elsewhere.”

  “Where’s that?” Nate asked, taking a step away from Shannon.

  Her mother looked Nate in the eyes. “Your choice. The couch in the living room is comfortable. But you might as well go on and be with Shannon. Mr. Fitz and I appreciate your consideration, but given the circumstances, we’re prepared to keep on pretending we don’t know a thing.”

  * * *

  NATE GRABBED HIS STUFF from Myles’s room, then hurried to Shannon’s. He thought about getting his bathroom business out of the way, but he didn’t want to leave her on her own until she was safely in bed.

  Good thing he came back because while she’d managed to get her shoes off, she was having trouble with her blouse. Her exhaustion ran so deep she could barely control her fingers enough to undo the top button.

  Nate stepped in to help. Her hands dropped to her sides the second he touched her. Her eyes kept closing and opening until the blouse was undone and pulled out of her skirt. It was like undressing a wobbly mannequin. He’d raise her arm, and it would sink back down before the sleeve was off. He ached with how woozy and pale she was. Eventually he removed her blouse and quickly slipped off her bra. Taking off her panties was faster, and he felt as if he’d won something when she was finally naked.

  God. She fell against him, and he held her, knowing he should help her lie down. He ran his hand down her back instead, so incredibly grateful she was in his arms, that she hadn’t been lost to him forever.

  It was easiest to lift her, bridal style, and put her down on the bed. He hadn’t taken down the covers, but he managed to tuck her safely inside after a bit of maneuvering.

  He watched her the whole time he undressed. She was out, completely still, even her breathing hidden below the comforter. But a single strand of her hair had broken free from the rest, and with every exhale, it quivered, making it hard to look anywhere else. It was proof enough until he could feel her again.

  He didn’t bother with shorts or pajama bottoms. He wanted to feel every part of her he could. When he climbed in to join her, he turned off the light, then pulled her close. Her head rested on his chest, her hand on his stomach. He wanted to kiss her, but she needed to sleep. So did he.

  Just before he nodded off, she snuggled closer, one of her legs curling over his. He breathed easy for the first time since the ten o’clock news.

  * * *

  WHEN SHANNON OPENED HER eyes, the room was so full of light she had to squint. She was plastered against Nate, which was wonderful until the next second when she remembered what had happened at the TV studio. Her whole body seized in a clench and she closed her eyes so tightly she saw stars, but it didn’t help. There was no magic that could change the past. She couldn’t even hide in bed. The world had kept turning. They’d all been up so late. Had Brady opened up the plant? The company still had orders to fill. The employees still had jobs. All of them, including Daphne.

  Shannon couldn’t think about her, not yet. Nate was asleep. She moved carefully, trying not to wake him as she got out of bed. She didn’t remember getting undressed. She donned her robe, her glance catching the clock. It was past noon. God, what havoc was waiting for her downstairs? In the real world.

  She hurried in the bathroom so she could get back to Nate. She remembered him surprising her in front of the house, remembered his words and hoped like she’d never hoped that he meant them.

  She brushed a lock of hair from his forehead, her heart aching for what she’d done, how she’d messed up so thoroughly. No one was that forgiving, not in the light of day. He’d been all over the news, and if last night hadn’t been a horrible nightmare, his picture was now on the internet, as well. She doubted his bosses would be very thrilled about his notoriety.

  She turned to get dressed but gasped as her wrist was caught by a strong hand.

  “Where are you going?” he asked, his voice filled with sleep.

  “To put on clothes. The second-worst day of my life begins.”

  He shook his head. “No. You’re coming back to bed.”

  “I already thought of that, but I can’t stay there forever. I’ll have to face the music eventually.”

  “The music will wait for an ho
ur.” He let her go in order to sit up, but his gaze kept her right where she stood. “Please. I’m going down the hall for two minutes. Please be back in bed when I return.”

  “Nate—”

  “For me.”

  She couldn’t say no. In truth, she didn’t want to. “Hurry,” she said.

  He was up more quickly than she’d have thought possible, his robe thrown on, and he was out the door. She was left in her too-bright room, the room of her childhood. The safest place on earth for most of her life. There would be no more procrastinating. She would find a place to move and leave this house. No matter what happened out there, whatever price she had to pay, she needed to step away from this cocoon. Maybe she’d have thought twice about her actions if she hadn’t felt so protected all the time.

  For now, though, she’d take the comfort. She let her robe drop where she was and crawled back under the sheets. She pulled her pillow close and breathed in the scent of Nate, so masculine and so him. She knew why his specific odor made her clench and shudder. She’d bonded with him. His scent would continue to please her for as long as they were together. Which wouldn’t be long at all.

  She inhaled again, not foolish enough to waste the good things she had. Not naive enough to believe she would get over him, not now. He would be the one man, the lost love. She would miss him forever, and even if eventually she did find someone else, Nate would remain the true love of her life.

  She didn’t mind. He was worth it.

  It dawned on her that she was assuming that he’d wanted her to stay in bed to comfort her. It was equally likely he wanted the time to ask her what she’d been thinking. Why she’d lied. Why she’d ever thought it was all right to pass him around like a toy.

  The door opened, and she tried to see it in his face, what he thought, what he wanted. His reason.

  He dropped his robe, climbed in next to her and wrapped himself around her, kissing her as if it were the most important thing he’d ever do.

  Thank God.

  He tasted too much like mint, but that was okay. The bad things were coming, they were, but not while Nate kissed her. While he ran his hand down her back and up her arm, when he moved his thigh between her legs just hard enough to make her gasp. He kept surprising her. He should be angry. Maybe he was angry, but it didn’t feel like that. His touch was too tender and his body too warm.

  She didn’t exactly trust her judgment, however, and this was important. “I know I told you this last night,” she said, her lips an inch from his. She wasn’t allowed to touch them again until she found out the score. Until she told him again. “But I need to say it one more time. A hundred times. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I used you, that my actions caused you to be embarrassed.”

  “Who says I’m embarrassed?”

  “You’re on a trading card. A trading card that trades men.”

  “I’ve always wanted to be on a trading card. I think I looked pretty good. Besides, you stole my card. I’m not sure, but I’m guessing you broke all kinds of trading card rules by your thievery. You need to apologize to the other ladies.”

  She laughed. She could hardly believe it was possible to laugh, or to feel this way about anyone. Ever. She’d had no idea what love was like, and now she did. Nothing else like it in the world. It felt as if…but no, her actual beating heart was changed because she loved Nate Brenner. To love him with all her heart was a reality, not a poem. She wanted to tell him, she did, but because she loved him in such a real way, she wouldn’t. He was leaving. He had another life, a world away. It wouldn’t be fair, and he’d feel badly about it, and she would never want that for the man she loved.

  “I’m glad you’re not angry,” she said.

  He kissed her, a small kiss, just lips on lips, then pulled back far enough so that she could see his expression. “It would have been better to have asked because there might be men on the cards who would mind. I can’t imagine it, but it’s possible. But I’m not angry. I know you would never do anything to purposefully hurt anyone, especially not someone you care about. I know that you wanted your friends to be happy. To have fairy-tale lives and bigger-than-life love stories. How could I be angry about that?”

  She was glad she’d been able to watch him through that speech. He meant every word. She didn’t have to worry about Nate. Not a bit. “Okay,” she said.

  “You do know the rest is all going to work out, don’t you?”

  “Eventually.”

  “Sooner than you think,” he said, right before he captured her mouth in another searing kiss. His hands went to the sides of her face to hold her steady as their kiss went from hot to torrid.

  She wouldn’t have minded if that’s all they’d done. Yes, she was aching with want, and yes, every time he rubbed his chest against hers it sent shivers all through her body. She pressed against his thigh, riding him, and it was almost as good as being filled, of being as close as they could possibly be. And then it wasn’t enough.

  “More,” she whispered. “Please.”

  Tearing himself away, he rolled over, grabbed a condom and was back before she finished her exhale. “More. Yes. Everything. God, I want you.” His hiss told her he was ready, and she grabbed the pillow she wasn’t using, placing it in the general area of her hips before she lay back.

  He moaned as he followed her, kissing whatever part of her he could—the inside of her elbow, her nipple, the side of her neck. Random sizzling sparks all over, everywhere his lips and tongue landed.

  When he was above her, braced on his arms, she could see his desire for her in his dark eyes. Even when the lights had been on at night, she’d never seen so much of him. The crazy sleep hair that made him look adorable. He’d shaved, of course she’d known that somewhere because she hadn’t felt his beard, but he’d had to have shaved fast because he hadn’t been gone long. Lucky thing he hadn’t cut himself. She touched his jaw, his chin, making sure. All she felt was smooth, warm skin. When he dipped down and captured her finger in his mouth, she gasped again. He was so good at that.

  She spread her legs for him. “Please,” she said again. “Come inside me. Fill me up. Make me forget about everything but you.”

  He pushed into her slowly, his gaze unwavering. “Oh, Christ, how you scared me. When I thought I’d never see you again, I couldn’t think what to do.” His eyes clenched as he seated himself all the way. Both of them were breathing harder now, faster, their chests rising and falling in perfect synchrony. “Promise me you’ll never run like that again.” He pulled out and pushed back in. “Promise.”

  She wanted to tell him she wasn’t the one who was running away. Instead she ran her hands down his back and looked him straight in the eyes. “I promise I will never run from you. Ever.”

  17

  NATE STARED AS STRANDS OF Shannon’s silky hair slipped through his fingers to fall on the pillow. She was dozing, still tired after such a grueling night, and then they’d made love. His gaze went from her hair to her face. Her eyelashes were red. Red. He should have noticed that by now. Maybe she wore dark mascara on them, because how could he have missed the wonder of her red lashes?

  He didn’t know what to do. She’d suffered last night, and even if everyone in the city told her she was forgiven, he doubted she would believe it. Not until she’d made the amends she felt she must. After that? She was sensible, she’d go on with her life, but the memory would always hurt her.

  He couldn’t add to that. He didn’t want to be part of anything that would always hurt Shannon. That was unacceptable, and even though it would be turning his back on the family who’d loved him best, he had to tell them that he wouldn’t help. He’d rather cut off his own arm.

  The air slipped out of his lungs as reality hit him anew. He had fallen in love. The impossible thing had happened. He was no longer the same man. Shannon had changed everything.

  He got out of bed, and when he heard her squeak as she stretched, he smiled at her. “I was going to go shower. But I can wait if
you’d like to go first.”

  When she shook her head, she looked at him as if nothing were wrong, as if last night had never happened. “Go ahead. But you’d better not use all the hot water.”

  He tightened his robe, then kissed her softly. “I won’t be long.”

  “Good.”

  As he walked down the hall, the ripples of his new awareness started expanding. At the center was Shannon. Everything flowed from there. He had decisions to make.

  * * *

  SHANNON HAD DRESSED FOR work, although she doubted she would make it to the plant. It was almost two o’clock, and she was about to face her family.

  Nate was right behind her as she walked down the stairs. They both stopped at the living room entrance. “You’re all here.”

  “Brady’s at the plant,” her dad said. “Paula and Alice have gone to work.”

  She wasn’t sure what it meant, that they’d stayed. Support? An intervention? “I hope there’s some coffee.”

  “Danny, go get them some coffee,” her mother said.

  Danny didn’t even make a fuss.

  Shannon was growing more concerned by the moment. Her mom was wearing one of her company dresses. Not going-out-to-the-theater nice, but a cut above the norm.

  “There’s been a number of phone calls this morning,” her father said.

  Shannon winced. “Sorry. I’ll certainly be saying that a lot today.”

  Danny came back with two mugs and put them on the coffee table. Coincidentally, there were two seats open on the couch. Shannon and Nate went to sit down, although her stomach was so tense she couldn’t even think of drinking at the moment.

  “I don’t see why you should have to apologize,” her mom said. “On the other hand, that reporter fellow needs to be tarred and feathered.”

  Nate threaded his fingers between hers where they lay on the couch.

  “Well, I think what happened last night was a good thing,” Danny said. “We all needed a little shaking up.”

  “What?” Shannon asked, appalled. “What part of that horror show was good?”