As Robert knelt before his Lord he pondered what the future would hold for them all. How would Mia manage without her mother? How would Margaret’s passing affect Jonathan? He’d never had much time for Jonathan but out of respect for his sister he now prayed Jonathan would move towards a relationship with God. Jonathan had been stubborn all these years and not once set foot in church. A noise from another room alerted him to Mia being awake and he raised his head and listened.
What can I say to her, Lord? Help me show her how special she is, and that I love her. In my weakness make me strong, I ask you, Jesus.
~~~
Mia knew she couldn’t put off getting up; this day was going to happen even if she wanted to pretend differently.
Her father had phoned last night and asked if he could come around this morning and go to the funeral with them. When her uncle had turned to ask her if this was okay, she had looked at him and wanted to say no, but thinking of her mother made her nod.
Everything seemed such an effort, even the thought of showering and doing her hair. What did it all matter anyway? No one really cared what she looked like, and she certainly didn’t.
Swinging her legs to the side of the bed she sat there staring into space, her mind blank, void of any thought, and she liked it that way.
Bending she picked up her dressing gown and secured it tightly around her waist. A shower would help her feel more able to cope.
Opening the bedroom door she moved down the hall towards the bathroom, and it was there that she met her uncle. He was fully dressed and waiting for her and the emotions that played on his face were just about enough to cause Mia to fall apart.
They stood looking at each other and Robert opened his arms to her.
Mia stepped into her uncle’s embrace, knowing the arms around her expected nothing in return. They offered her love, acceptance and sympathy. Uncle Robert would understand some of the pain she felt, he’d lost Auntie Jen and both his parents, and now he was burying his sister.
“We can get through this together. I love you, honey. Let’s make Maggie proud of us today. She’ll be watching us from heaven and smiling, as she knows we’re doing this for her.”
Mia moved a little, creating some space between them. Could she believe her mother was in heaven? When her grandparents died two years apart she had been in her teens and her mother told her it was okay to be sad for a time, but that she needed to rejoice because she would see them again in heaven. It was a nice thought and maybe for today she’d let herself believe it.
~~~
Robert, Jonathan and Mia entered the church together and were led to the front. Mia sank down in her seat; she didn’t know how she’d managed to walk down the center aisle, each step taking her closer to her mother’s coffin.
Closing her eyes, Mia wished she could scream and shout to the world that she wasn’t ready to say goodbye. This was all some terrible mistake, her mother wasn’t really dead and in that wooden box. Any minute now she was going to walk in and laugh at them all sitting here looking so solemn.
She heard her father cough and gasp for breath and turned to look at him. He was pale and his chin was resting on his chest.
Mia’s hand moved of its own accord and touched his arm.
He looked up and she smiled weakly. Jonathan’s other hand grasped hers tightly and he sighed.
Moving her hand out of his, her eyes moved to the coffin. She imagined her mother lying on the soft white satin, her eyes closed, no longer seeing. It was all so surreal. Mia visualized her mother opening her eyes and looking up through the layered white cloth, through the solid timber lid to rest her eyes on the photo of herself and take in the elegance of the flower arrangement.
Shivering she laced her fingers tightly together. The shuffle of people arriving could be heard and soft music played in the background. Mia tried to concentrate on the music and wondered if she knew the song.
Her uncle leaned over her and whispered something to her father. There seemed to be so many people. Who were they all?
A hush came over the church as the pastor moved to take his place behind the pulpit. The service was a blur to Mia.
When Uncle Robert stood up she made herself sit up straighter to listen. Uncle Robert loved her mother and what he said would be important to her.
“Sweet, sweet, Maggie I salute you.” Robert looked up and smiled as tears streamed down his face.
Mia’s hand went to her throat and her jaw locked.
“When our mother died I gave up, I became so depressed that I didn’t think I’d survive. You see, I was still grieving the loss of my wife. Maggie wrote me this letter and I’d like to share it with you.” He cleared his throat, shuffled some paper and began.
Robert, my brother,
Why do our hearts ache? Our hearts ache because of a great love.
Would you be without the love to avoid the ache? No I say, no! The memories are a gift to our hearts and I treasure them, store them up and bring them out whenever I need to be close to Mum.
I rejoice with her as she joins Dad, and pray that on the day I die those who I hold dear will rejoice with me.
Yes I feel sad and I can’t believe I will not see her again face to face in this world, but I have the assurance we will meet again and share sweet fellowship in heaven.
Let us cry for a time but then look up and sing together as we praise God for a mother who loved us and showed us the way. We are not alone, we have each other and above all else we have our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ—who gives us a hope and future.
Be brave, be steadfast and step into tomorrow knowing you can go on.
Tomorrow belongs to us, live it with joy.
I love you. Margaret.
Looking up Robert spoke firmly. “We can cry for a moment as we mourn the loss of Maggie but she would want us to pick ourselves up and carry on. I loved my sister and know she loved me; she brought sunshine into the room when she entered it and I thank God for that. I honor her now and all she meant to us.”
Robert moved down off the stage and took his place by the coffin. Jonathan joined him with two other men.
Mia heard the shuffle of people standing as the coffin moved slowly down the aisle. She sat staring into space and thought she could smell her mother’s perfume.
David appeared and squatted down in front of her. Their eyes locked.
“Mia, people are waiting for you to move first before they can leave. Take my hand and I’ll walk with you.”
Heat scorched her face as she turned and saw people watching her. Standing she took David’s arm and walked beside him. He stayed by her side as she watched them place her mother into the hearse and close the door.
His arm was warm and gentle as it embraced her. Mia was grateful for his strength. People started to come up to Mia to offer their condolences; she politely thanked them and realized David still supported her with his arm. She stepped away and studied his face. “Thank you, David.”
“If there’s anything I can do, please let me know.”
Mia nodded and the desire to move back into the security of his arms surprised her. She saw her father and uncle approaching and turned to David to excuse herself.
David gently touched her fingers, then turned and moved away.
Mia watched him go and fresh tears filled her eyes.
Something in her wanted to call him back.
Chapter 12
Mia stood waiting for her father to open the door. She remembered a time when she would have opened the door and walked in, calling out for her mother, but now she knocked.
She hadn’t wanted to come but her uncle had told her she needed to help sort out her mother’s clothes. Mia felt it was too soon, but her father wanted it done.
“Hi, Mia, come in.”
“Thank you, sorry I’m a bit late. I hope I’m not holding you up.” Her voice sounded stilted and she wished it could be different between them.
“I’m not going anywhere and I’m pleased you
came. It’s good to see you. Can I get you anything? A cool drink perhaps?”
“No thanks. I think I would rather get this over with. Where do you want me to start?”
Jonathan sighed and led the way to the bedroom. “Maybe here. I’ve got some plastic bags out for her clothes.” He cleared his throat, “Mia, how are you coping?”
Looking at her father she wondered what it must be like for him to be alone. She tried not to notice the quiet in the house. “I’m doing okay, what about you? How are you managing here alone?”
“I don’t like it, it’s so quiet. Your mother used to make quite a lot of noise, what with her playing the piano all the time and her constant chatter. Sometimes I wished she’d just be quiet, but now I want to hear her talking about anything.”
“I’m sorry. Sorry I’m not here with you, but I can’t live here. I hope you understand.”
“Can you at least think about moving back? It would make things much easier for me.”
“No. I won’t live here. Don’t ask me,” she said in a rush.
“Your mother would want you here with me.”
She strode past him into the lounge. Her eyes skimmed over the room and her eyebrows drew together slightly. Spinning around she glared at him in silence.
They stared at each other, neither backing down.
Jonathan rubbed his forehead. “I think I’ll pack up some of her books and things off the shelves in the lounge. I think she’d want you to have them.”
Mia nodded and went to the bedroom.
She felt close to her mother as she fingered a scarf her mother had worn and a favorite pair of earrings she’d loved. Mia was happy to have these things and would treasure them. Slowly she worked her way through the dresser drawers, putting everything she wanted into bags and the rest of the gear in a pile to be dropped off at the clothing bin.
It wasn’t until she was going through the wardrobe that she noticed a wooden box on the top shelf. Reaching up she pulled it down; it was exquisite, with intricate carving in the shape of a rose on the lid.
Opening the lid, she was surprised to see a false lid made of material covering whatever was inside. Embroided on the material was ‘Mia Grace’. Her mother must have designed and carefully completed each letter.
It was beautiful.
Sitting on the bed she opened the box and looked inside. Mia picked up a gold locket and recognized it as being her Nanny’s. She could remember her Nanny wearing it and as a child would often ask to look inside. Mia opened it and saw the images of her grandparents looking back at her. Her Nanny had always said it would be hers one day and now that day had arrived.
Smiling she put it on. It was nice to feel she belonged to them, that they were her family.
There were other things in the box that she would go through later, photos and keepsakes her mother obviously wanted her to have.
She was about to close the box when she noticed an envelope with her name on it.
Mia picked up the letter just as her father came to tell her he’d poured them both a glass of orange juice.
She glanced at her watch and realized she’d been there for over an hour. She’d been so engrossed that time had flown. She noticed her father’s arms were folded over his chest and she felt a stab of guilt at the way she’d spoken to him.
“I think I’ve done most of it. This pile here I’ll drop off at the clothing bin if that’s okay with you.”
“Whatever you think,” he said in a flat tone.
“It wasn’t as hard I thought it’d be. I sort of felt close to Mum, touching her stuff and remembering her wearing it. How did you get on with the book shelf?”
“Everything I picked up I put back on the shelf. Useless really. Your mother loved to read and I never did get to finish a book right through. If you want to take them all I can arrange to get them to you.”
“I would love them but I don’t know where I would put them right now.”
“Are you planning on staying at Robert’s long?”
“I’m thinking of getting a place of my own. We were talking about it last night and I will probably start looking for somewhere next week.”
“I see.”
“Can I leave the books here for now and when I get settled pick them up?” Mia heard the stiffness in her voice and hated it.
“Of course, no hurry. I was wondering about Margaret’s piano. I keep looking at it and seeing her sitting there. Shall I sell it, or do you want it?”
Mia couldn’t believe he’d think of selling the piano and her lips twitched showing her disdain. “Mum loved that piano—how can you think of selling it? You seem to want to remove all evidence that Mum actually lived here or even existed.”
A scowl settled on Jonathan’s face. “Don’t be silly, Mia. Of course this is her house and—yours too.”
Steeling her features, she asked him to wait until she had a place of her own to let him know if she wanted the piano. “I need to go.”
“What about your drink? I’ve poured it for you.”
“Right now I think I’d choke on it. I’m sorry—it’s all too much.”
Jonathan moved towards her but then stopped as Mia raised her hand.
“Thanks for letting me have Mum’s things. I’ll phone you.”
As they passed the piano, Jonathan picked up her mother’s Bible and held it out to her.
~~~
When Mia arrived at her uncle’s she noticed a car parked beside the garage. Uncle Robert must have a visitor; she smiled knowing that people often popped in to see him.
Holding a box on her hip she opened the door and maneuvered her way in to the hall. She could hear male voices in the kitchen and walked towards them.
She placed the box on the dining room table and entered the kitchen to say hello to her uncle and his visitor.
Uncle Robert was laughing at something David had said and Mia felt her stomach flip. She hadn’t expected him to be here. Her uncle turned towards her and beckoned her over.
“Hey, Princess, David called in to see how you’re getting on. We’ve been having a good old chat and I’ve asked him to join us for dinner.”
David’s mouth curved and his eyes seemed to pull her into their warmth. “I hope that’s all right with you, Mia. It would be a change from cooking for myself.”
“It’s up to you, David.” Mia wasn’t happy and didn’t want to pretend she was. Would it be rude to excuse herself and leave? Looking at her uncle she could see determination in his eyes and knew that he wanted her to like David.
“Let me help you, Uncle Robert. I’ll go and wash my hands.”
“No, Mia, I have it all planned in my head and I don’t want you getting in my way. Tonight the kitchen is all mine, that is until you guys do the dishes.”
Laughing, he shooed them away and Mia had no choice but to lead David outside to the verandah.
“Great view, this certainly is a wonderful place to live. How long has your uncle lived here?”
“It seems like forever, but probably twenty years or so.”
“Robert was telling me you’re going to get a place of your own. Have you decided where you want to move to?”
Mia looked at him in surprise. “I’m not sure, I’m still thinking about it.”
“Blue Bay certainly is a great place to live and being able to go to the beach every day is amazing. The weather is perfect.”
Mia stood staring at him, her stomach humming with nerves.
“Mia, one of the reasons I called around was to see how you are. Often people don’t ask you how you’re doing because they don’t want to upset you, but I believe it’s important to talk about how you’re feeling.”
Mia remained silent.
“Your mother may not be here physically but she’s still here.” David placed his hand on his heart to indicate what he meant.
Mia found her eyes watering and looked down. Why is he talking to me like this? Why does he care? “I know you’re only trying to be kind, bu
t I would rather not talk about how I’m doing with you.”
David arched an eyebrow.
“I’m sure Uncle Robert will understand if you change your mind about staying.”
Mia knew she’d been rude and glanced at him under her lashes. She saw the challenge in his eyes and was unsure of what to do.
“Thanks for the out, Mia, but I’m enjoying myself too much to leave.” David smiled. “I have a proposition for you if you’re interested in hearing it.”
Shaking her head, Mia held up her hand. “Not interested, David.”
“That’s a shame, Bruno will be disappointed.”
“It’s to do with your dog?” Trying to look disinterested, Mia leaned back against the railing.
David nodded. “It’s like this. I have to go to Sydney next week for five days and I was wondering if you’d be open to spending some time with him. Look after him for me.” David eased away from the rail and faced her squarely. “You already know Bruno and he loves you. He hates going to the kennel and he makes me pay for putting him there when I get back. He sulks for days. If you could see it in your heart to look after him for me I’d be forever in your debt.”
Mia liked the thought of spending time with the big dog. “I’m not sure if Uncle Robert will let him stay here.”
“If he would, would you help me out?” His eyebrows lifted in question.
“I have to be honest with you, I was surprised to see you here. I really appreciated how you helped me at Mum’s funeral but I’m not—” Mia stopped and cleared her throat. “I’m not interested in seeing you. I already explained this to you. I don’t want a boyfriend right now.”
“That’s pretty straightforward of you.”
“Why are you here then?”
“My best mate, Bruno. Remember him? What do you say, will you help me out?”
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