Anchored

by Hoffmann, Tracey

  “Dad, can you tell me about how—” Jonathan watched the struggle on her face and his heart cried.

  “Its okay, ask me.” Jonathan rubbed his neck and waited. Whatever she wanted to know—it wasn’t about him anymore.

  “I don’t know what I want to know.” Mia paused and frowned. “You never talked about your father. What happened between you?”

  “He left when I was young. Just didn’t care enough to stay around. It was just Mum and I most of the time.”

  “How old were you when he left?” she questioned.

  “Young. I didn’t want him to go and begged him to stay, but he pushed me away. I grew to hate him. He hurt Mum and never loved me. I told myself I didn’t need him, that I could make it on my own. I didn’t care what anyone thought of me, it was all about what I wanted.”

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” Mia’s hand lifted to flick her hair over her shoulder.

  “Don’t feel sorry for me, I made choices.” His voice hardened and he looked away from her.

  “When you were a little baby, Mia, something happened to me. I felt scared. I deliberately stayed out late because I thought if I spent too much time with you I’d hurt you. I told myself you didn’t need me. As you got older and things started to change, I would watch you and want to be with you. I don’t know how I could have let things go the way they did, do the things I did. There is no explaining it. I have tried, but it was just plain evil. It was all my fault, Mia, I gave into it. I’m so sorry.”

  Jonathan watched as Mia’s eyes widened and glazed over. She was distancing herself from him. He’d seen her do it a million times and tears welled up in his eyes.

  Mia blinked and her tongue flicked over her lips. “What I struggle with is how I never felt loved by you. I know this is my problem, because I remember lots of good things you did for me. I thought I’d worked through this and yet tonight it’s flared up again. I can’t believe I’m talking to you about it,” she stated honestly.

  Bowing his head, Jonathan felt as if a knife stabbed into his heart. Go on, tell her the rest of it, and see if she can forgive you then.

  Not wanting to listen to the voice tormenting him, yet wanting to rid himself of all the lies that stood between them, Jonathan cleared his throat. “There’s something else I need to tell you.”

  Mia held up her hand to silence him. “Don’t. Do you think if you come clean now it will make you feel better? What about me? Are you even considering what I feel? I don’t want to hear any more.”

  “You’re going to find out anyway so I’d rather tell you.” His chest constricted and his hand lifted in response. If there had ever been a glimmer of hope for their relationship it would soon be gone, he reasoned.

  Mia angled her head away from him.

  “I betrayed your mother.” Jonathan felt an instant relief at having spoken the words.

  “Mum?” Mia whispered.

  “Yes, with Judy. I mean—Klara.” Jonathan stumbled over the words.

  “Judy and Klara? Klara Duncan? Tell me it’s not true,” Mia demanded, her voice rising.

  “I’ve always called Klara, Judy. It’s her birth name. She became Klara when she was twelve I think. Anyway I decided to call her Judy so I wouldn’t slip when talking to your mother.”

  “You and Klara?” Mia stammered and sprang to her feet.

  “Yes.” Feeling drained of all energy Jonathan wanted to end the conversation and crawl into a corner and cry.

  The truth will set you free, son. Rest in me.

  Mia’s eyes bore into his. “How could you? Klara was Mum’s best friend. Mum trusted her, trusted you.” Her breathing became erratic and she looked away in distress.

  “Go. Leave now,” Mia screamed.

  Chapter 41

  David walked up the path as Terri pulled her jeep into the drive. He could see her scrambling to get out and noticed the silly grin on her face.

  “Hey, David, nice flowers. Are they for me?” Terri laughed.

  David blushed slightly. “Sorry, Terri. I have another beautiful lady in mind.”

  “I thought so, but you can’t blame a girl for trying. Let me go in and tell Mia to come to the door.”

  Brushing past David, Terri raced up the path before he could answer.

  David looked at the twenty-four red roses and sucked in a breath. His gaze took in the prickly thorns gracing the stem. His finger absently touched the tip of a thorn. Even beautiful roses had the power to inflict pain.

  Would Mia accept the flowers? What could he do to crack the wall she lived behind? A frown rested between his eyes.

  “David.” Her soft voice called out to him and he looked up. She stood waiting for him with a small smile on her lips. His gaze locked with hers and he caught his breath at what he saw. Hope surfaced and his heart pounded.

  “Hello, Mia.” He held the flowers out to her and smiled.

  “Thank you, they’re beautiful.”

  “No—they’re lovely. You are beautiful.”

  Mia blushed and buried her nose in the flowers. “David, I’m sorry I reacted the way I did when you—um, when you told me you loved me.”

  “It did damage my ego for a moment,” David laughed. “Sweetheart, I’m not going to stop loving you because things get difficult.”

  “I don’t want to hurt you. You’re black and white. You feel something and act upon it. I’m not like that—I need to work it out, think it through.”

  “Love’s a choice, Mia. You feel it, sure, but you have to step towards it. You’re frightened.”

  “No, I’m not.” Mia’s hands dropped to her side and the flower heads were an inch off the ground.

  David’s lips twitched as he took in her stance and prepared for battle.

  “Yes you are. I never took you for a coward, but hey, I understand. You’ve been hurt and want to live an insular life free from pain.”

  “That’s not true and you know it.” Mia waved the flowers at him. “I have been hurt but I’m no coward.”

  “Prove it.” David grinned and his eyes crinkled at the corners. He tried to ignore the thumping of his heart.

  A soft moan came from Mia’s lips. She stepped towards him, her eyes determined. “I—”

  “Hey, Mia, you’ve got a phone call.” Robert called out. “It’s Ian King and he says it’s important.”

  David glanced up at Robert and then back at Mia. “We will finish this conversation.” His eyes softened as he took hold of her hand.

  ~~~

  Mia didn’t want to utter the words. David and her Uncle waited calmly for her to speak while Terri fidgeted on the couch.

  “Come on, Mia, what did Ian say?” Terri questioned.

  “Klara’s gone missing. They think she’s a serious suspect.” Mia shivered. Who could she trust? She loved Klara and had believed in her all these years.

  Moving across the room, she headed for her uncle’s arms, but hesitated when she saw the look on David’s face.

  Stopping, she stared at him and the warmth in his eyes drew her. She moved into his arms and rested her head on his chest. The steady beat of his heart comforted her and she lost her heart in the compassion she saw etched on his face.

  ~~~

  The air conditioner had been pumping cool air into the room all afternoon. Alex felt frustrated that they were no further ahead with finding Klara Duncan. Shuffling through his papers he wished the day over.

  Glancing up he looked at the clock on the office wall and saw he had another two hours of his shift to go. He could imagine his children in the pool or down at the beach and told himself that after this case was closed he was taking some time off.

  Ian slapped another piece of paper down in front of him and Alex groaned. “What’s this? Live Well Clinic, Reynolds Street, Katoomba, Blue Mountains.” Alex rubbed his hand through his hair. “This had better be a lead and not a subtle hint that I need to stop eating curry pies.”

  “Get your mind off food and concentrate. Jonathan said K
lara visited this clinic regularly and sometimes stayed for up to a week.” Ian tapped a finger on his chin. “Worth taking a look.”

  Alex dialed the number and waited. A woman answered and he asked to speak to someone in charge. A man introduced himself as the manager of the center and enquired how he might help.

  “I’m Detective Alex Redding, New South Wales Police Force. I’m trying to locate Klara Duncan, who is known to have stayed at your clinic in the past. Is she there at the moment?”

  “We have strict privacy guidelines as you can imagine. Without a court order, I would be unable to disclose any information to you about our clients.”

  “Right, I’ll organize one. Would it be okay if I asked you a few questions?” Alex asked.

  “Yes, I’d like to help you. I would hate to think that someone here was responsible for breaking the law.”

  “Do you often have clients that you would class as unstable?”

  “By unstable, you mean—?”

  “Mind going all over the place, erratic behavior, talking to themselves, that sort of thing.”

  “Yes, of course. Many of our residents suffer from such symptoms.”

  “Look, I think the best thing we can do is rock up there with a search warrant and that court order you requested. Should only take a matter of hours to secure considering the case at hand.”

  “I don’t want our residents upset. Let’s just say I haven’t seen the woman in question for about a year.”

  “Thank you. We may get back to you.” Alex hung up and swiveled in his chair to look at Ian. “We have nothing else to go on. Let’s get the court order and take a look around.”

  ~~~

  Judy felt closed in, cornered. The need to get some fresh air overcame the risk of being seen. As she walked she talked. Her softly whispered words blended in with the sounds of the bush.

  “Jonathan, Margaret’s death is your fault. If you’d been man enough to leave her she would never have had to die.”

  Judy knew this section of bush well and strolled with confidence among the trees, which covered her like a canopy.

  “Margaret, don’t you see I love him more than you ever did. You had the name but I had the man. It’s only fair I have a turn as his woman. You didn’t understand him. He needs me—I complete him.” Her hands flapped in the air as she pleaded her case. “Polly, my love—your father is confused, my sweet. If he could see how beautiful you are he’d love you. Mia’s in the way, she caused all this. If she’d never been born Jonathan wouldn’t have married Margaret and we would be a family.”

  Stopping, Judy glanced around and realized how far she’d walked. It was getting dark.

  She turned and followed the path back. As she approached the barn she heard voices and crouched low to hide.

  Two men came out of the barn, one wearing a police uniform.

  Silently Judy snuck back into the bush and commended her forward thinking in hiding her car on the old fire road. Hadn’t she been saying last night it was time to execute her plan?

  She’d go and talk to Jonathan and tell him she was ready to get married. He’d understand Mia had to die once she explained it to him.

  Chapter 42

  Judy stepped out of the taxi several houses from Jonathan’s. Her loose hair shaded her face as she casually strolled to Jonathan’s house, edging her way down the side of his garage.

  She closed her eyes and concentrated on controlling her breathing. After counting to fifty she carefully crept along the wall to the window. She stretched onto her toes and peered in.

  Jonathan’s car wasn’t there.

  Her shoulders relaxed and her mouth curved slightly. All was going according to plan. She’d be able to enter the house unnoticed. She walked with confidence to the back door and slipped into the kitchen. Jonathan didn’t know she’d taken a copy of his keys.

  Laughing, Judy moved through the house staking her claim. She’d stay in the end bedroom, as it was unlikely Jonathan would go in there.

  She decided to take a shower and freshen up before she made herself a sandwich and settled in for the night. Taking two towels from the bottom of the pile, Judy entered the bathroom.

  After she showered, she dried off the shower walls. Judy grinned at her reflection, picked up Jonathan’s toothbrush and brushed her teeth. He would love her again and she couldn’t wait to take back what was hers.

  ~~~

  Jonathan entered the kitchen, threw his keys on the bench and sank down on a chair at the kitchen table. His head fell into his hands and he shut his eyes. Everything was a mess.

  Lord, how did I get to this place? Jonathan slumped forward resting his forehead on the table.

  A scene cut into his thoughts of his father shouting at his mother. “You think you can make me stay? You-don’t-make-me-happy. I’m out of here.” As his father turned to leave he’d seen Jonathan crying in the corner. His father had squatted down and said words that now came back to haunt Jonathan. “Boy, always take what you want, don’t let anyone stop you.”

  Sobs raked through Jonathan’s body and he came up onto his elbows. He was just like his father. The realization tore at his heart, his hands tore at his clothes in anguish, tearing the fabric and scratching his skin.

  He shoved back his chair and came to his feet.

  ~~~

  Judy heard Jonathan sobbing and wanted to go to him. Did he miss her so much it caused him such pain? She stood at the top of the stairs undecided what to do.

  She stepped back when Jonathan headed towards her. His head drooped between his shoulders and his arms hung listlessly. Each step he took looked labored.

  Frowning, Judy moved back to her room.

  Jonathan went into his bedroom, and collapsed fully dressed on the bed.

  All went quiet. Judy waited.

  When she was sure he was asleep, she crept along the hall and tiptoed into his room. The room was in darkness except for a small beam of light coming from a gap in the curtain.

  Judy leaned over him and sniffed in the aroma of his skin. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. How easy it would be to touch him and claim him now.

  She steeled herself and whispered words of love. Her hand pulled the blanket up to cover him. She gently touched her lips to his cheek and snapped back as Jonathan moved.

  Judy dropped to the floor and held her breath.

  Jonathan sat up, scratched his head and murmured Margaret’s name. He sighed, lay back down and snuggled into the blankets.

  Judy bit her lip to stop from screaming. Crawling on her hands and knees, she left the room.

  Softly she closed the door to her room and spun around. He’d called out to Margaret, not her. Her throat locked with fury and she hissed in anger. Her eyes devoured the room, looking for something to break, and settled on a small paper fan on the dresser.

  Had Margaret placed it there? Judy snatched the fan and ripped it apart.

  Collapsing on the bed, she tightly closed her eyes. Judy nodded and whispered. “I understand, Mummy. I kept your secret all these years, never telling a soul. I see he made you do it.” Judy’s eyes snapped open and stared back into the scene where she’d witnessed her mother shoot her father.

  Her mother had turned and seen her in the room. She’d smiled sadly, then held the gun to her own head and pulled the trigger.

  Judy scrambled off the bed and opened her bag. Holding the gun in her hand she felt the weight of it. She’d never used a gun before, but how hard could it be?

  Putting both hands around the handle, she practiced pointing the gun with her index finger on the trigger. Standing, she went over to the bedroom mirror and aimed the gun at her reflection.

  Speaking in a quiet whisper she said; “That looks good, Judy, aim a bit higher, girl. Lift it up some.” Stretching her arms up she lifted the gun higher and pulled the trigger.

  Click.

  Her arms fell down and she went back and sat on the bed. This shouldn’t be too hard, one shot to the heart, clea
n, quick and over.

  Judy nodded and smiled. “Yes, yes I see. First Jonathan and then Mia.”

  Chapter 43

  The design looked all wrong, devoid of life. David ripped the page off and tossed it towards the bin. Work had always been his solace but now he had difficulty concentrating.

  He needed to clear his head. Swiveling in his chair he booted his computer to check the display graphs. Scrolling down the page his eyes lost focus and he threw his hands up in disgust.

  He heard clip clapping on the wooden floor as Bruno scurried towards him. Bruno’s big head thumped against David’s leg, drawing his attention away from the computer screen. A large paw tapped his arm.

  David rolled his eyes and pushed away from the desk.

  “Just what I need, another distraction. Come on—a run, a dip in the ocean, and then I’m back to work.”

  Bruno barked excitedly and raced to the door.

  David went to his bedroom to get his runners and stopped outside Patrick’s door to see if he wanted to come.

  He heard the sound of fingers flying across a keyboard and decided not to interrupt him.

  Ten minutes later they were at the beach. David flicked off his shoes and ran straight into the water, leaving Bruno splashing around in the shallows.

  David swam out past the waves and began swimming parallel to the beach. Stroke after stroke he pushed against the current until he felt ready to turn and drift back. The exercise helped release some of the tension in his shoulders.

  Lying on his back he closed his eyes. He’d known Mia seven months now yet still hadn’t been able to take her on a proper date.

  Lord, when’s this going to end?

  Impatience rippled through his body and he shivered. David tipped his head to one side and his strong arms stroked out towards the shore. His body caught a wave and he surfed into the shallow water.

  Shaking the water out of his hair David called Bruno, picked up the lead and ran up the beach. He wasn’t surprised to see the big dog by his side when he reached the road.