"A motorcycle," Shawna mumbled, rolling up her skirt without any hesitation. She could see how Clark's eyes followed the lines of her legs as she revealed them, but even had she not had a little buzz going, she wouldn't have cared. After what he'd done for her tonight, letting him look felt right. "I never thought I'd ride on a motorcycle. I think my mother would never forgive me."
Once her skirt was rolled up, Clark took hold of Shawna's waist and helped her over the bike. Once she'd settled against his back, her arms hooked firmly around his waist, he turned the engine and brought the bike to life.
"Mom doesn't have to know," Clark said. He kicked it into gear, and they took down the street much more leisurely than before. Shawna was easily able to give him directions, and when they pulled to a stop beside her building, Clark cawed a laugh.
"You're kidding," he said. Shawna hopped down from the bike much more sure than the first time, smoothed her skirt, and shook her head.
"No, this is where I live."
"Go figure," he muttered to himself, but did not elaborate. Clark killed the engine and disembarked, only to take Shawna's arm once more to lead her towards the front doors. The thick leather of his sleeve stuck against the polyester blend of her blazer. The bad boy she'd never thought she'd have the guts to talk to, let alone go out with, was taking her to her apartment door like they were freshmen in college. When they stood upon the landing, Shawna lingered. Clark had released her arm, but still she was hesitant to go.
"I had a lot of fun tonight," she brought herself to say. "It's something I'd never do otherwise."
"Yeah, same here." Clark was looking at her with his blue eyes. Beneath the shadows of the night they were hard to make out, but she remembered how beautiful they were. Beneath the dull overhead light of the stoop, she thought she could see glimmers of them, and Shawna found herself leaning forward slowly. The closer she got to Clark, the more heated she felt. In that moment there were no dreams of a big house with a white fence and good paying jobs. Instead, she dreamed of nights beneath the stars and the heat rising off the pavement beneath their feet. Travel. An unpredictable life. Clark was the guy she'd been looking for all along.
As their faces grew closer together, Clark's head tilted just slightly, eyes grinning at her.
"What about that man?" he whispered, the warmth of his words ghosting across her lips. It was only then that Shawna realized how close they'd really come. Her eyes were partially lidded, arousal stirring deep inside. "The man that you're going home to?"
Ben. Shawna drew back, shaking her head. Clark was right. She couldn't...
"Let's go in for the night, Shawna," Clark whispered. He opened the door for her and saw her inside, but when he followed, she knew something abnormal was happening.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"A twist of fate," Clark told her, voice low and poetic, "has seen me spend the evening with a girl that lives in the same apartment complex that I do. This is my home now, too."
No. Shawna's face paled a little bit. Clark had been a stranger but hours ago, and he was supposed to go back to being a stranger now. What she felt for him was temporary, and he was supposed to have faded from her mind to eventually be forgotten. If they lived in the same building and crossed paths often, that would never happen. She had to forget him — she had almost kissed him. If she didn't forget, then...
"Funny," she mumbled, wanting to flee. But no matter how fast she went up the winding stairs, it seemed he was right there behind her. When they turned down the hall on the same floor, Shawna's mouth went dry. Clark passed her and stopped at the door just across from hers, fitting a key in the lock and opening the door; he hadn't been lying.
"Well. I guess I'll see you later, neighbor," he said with a simple shrug and a devious smirk. Shawna felt sick with guilt. This was the place she shared with Ben, her own dreary reality, and yet her fantasy lived right next door. How was she supposed to sleep knowing that temptation lived so close?
"Goodnight," Shawna said sharply. She dug her key out of her gym bag and pushed her way inside hastily. Ben was sitting on the couch, a bowl of popcorn in the space she would have sat. The television was on.
"You were out late," he remarked, eyes sweeping down her critically. "And were you talking to someone out in the hall?"
"No," Shawna said quickly. Ben frowned, not buying it, and pried a little bit further with some more questions.
"I texted you a few times to ask where you were, but you never replied. In fact, I texted you five minutes ago. You always have your phone on you on your way home for safety. We've talked about that."
She hadn't even taken off her shoes yet, and already he was accusing her. Over the course of their long relationship, Shawna had never given him anything to worry about. She hadn't flirted with other guys, or acted suspiciously, and most of the time she didn't even go out without him. What gave him the right to go off on her like this? Hadn't she earned his trust by now?
"I got home safe, and that's what matters, isn't it? What's with this attitude?"
Ben rose from where he had been seated. He wasn't unattractive — his short brown hair and sharp nose were business like and intelligent looking — but she couldn't remember the last time he'd made an effort to look good for her. When work was done he stripped out of his suit and shrugged into the same old white t-shirt and blue plaid pajama pants he always wore, and when they went out he swapped the pjs for jeans. Now that he was comfortable with her, he didn't go out of his way to look presentable. How long would it be until his trim body started to gain mass until he boasted a beer gut? How long would it be before she'd walk in to find him sitting on the couch with a white tank top stretched over his stomach, the bowl of popcorn resting on it rather than on the seat next to him? The thought disgusted her, but Shawna tried to swallow it away. Ben saw the discomfort and capitalized on it.
"You're not a good liar, Shawna. Tell me the truth. Were you out with someone else?"
The volume of his voice was rising steadily, and Shawna was taken aback. Ben had never been confrontational before now — at least, not that she'd noticed. Maybe now that her world was crumbling before her eyes, she was seeing a side to him she'd previously cast a blind eye to.
"I went to the gym, and someone who lives in the building drove me home afterward because he was concerned for my safety. That's all. Why are you getting so snappy with me?"
All she wanted to do was take a good shower and crawl into bed, but Ben wasn't going to let her. The way his shoulders tensed and broadened, and how his posture straightened to lend him more height told her that he was gearing for a fight. Shawna wasn't going to have it.
"I wouldn't have to get snappy with you if you didn't lie to me. I thought I could trust you after all this time, but I guess I was wrong. What have you been doing all this time when you say you've been going to the gym? Have you been seeing someone behind my back?"
Shawna set her lips and gave him a hard look.
"I don't believe how after all these years, you're treating me like I'm a criminal. I thought I knew you better than that, Ben. I'm done with his conversation unless you're going to treat me with the respect I deserve."
"Respect? I should respect you after you admitted to lying to me? And about another man, no less?"
No. Shawna wasn't going to take it. With a shake of her head, she steeled her soul and separated herself from her anger and her hurt. Ben was showing a side of himself she found unacceptable, and compounded with their unfulfilled lifestyle and relationship, Shawna wasn't willing to try to work him through it. She'd been careful to communicate her needs with him, and he had never listened. If he wanted to save this relationship, he was going to have to step up.
"Ben," Shawna locked the door behind her and took off her heels. The relief was instant, and helped her keep her cool, "I am going to shower, and then I'm going to go to bed. If you cool off and come to your senses, you can join me. If not, I'm not interested in sharing my bed with you until
we can have a calm, logical conversation about this mess."
"Your mess."
It was enough. Shawna bit into her bottom lip to stop from lashing out, cut past him, and locked herself in the bathroom.
That fight was the first of many that night. Ben's head was still in the sand, and hers had been pulled free — it was foolish to think there would ever be peace, now that Shawna knew what life had to offer her.
Part Two
Where do you see yourself in five years? Once, Shawna had an answer for that. She'd had plans and ambitions, goals and dreams. Now she knew that all of it had been a fantasy.
There was nothing left in the small apartment she'd shared for years with Ben. He'd already found a tiny room a few buildings over he could afford on his own, and Shawna... Well, she hadn't got that far yet. Her mother had told her that the simplest lives were sometimes the most fulfilling, and she hoped that was true now.
Her knuckles rapped against the door across from her apartment with firm insistence. There was a pause, then the door opened.
Clark stood there in nothing more than his boxers. Since they last met he'd shaved, but the shadow of stubble remained along his jaw and lip. He rubbed at the corner of his eye as though he'd just woken up. Undressed, she could see the extent of his body. A firm, largely hairless chest and corded arms made her think that maybe he'd been hitting the gym in his spare time. The sight was breathtaking, and all Shawna could do for a long moment was stand there, staring.
"Ah, Shawna," he muttered, biting back a yawn. "What're you doing here?"
"I um," a hard swallow. She looked up to lose herself in his blue eyes. "I thought maybe it was time for me to roll with the punches and let whatever happens, happen."
All at once Clark seemed to wake up, and his eyes hardened as he considered her words.
"So you knocked on my door," he said slowly, "to let whatever happens, happen?"
"Yeah. Exactly," Shawna replied. "That's... Exactly what I..."
But as she spoke, Clark reached out and ran a hand tenderly along her arm. All semblance of language left Shawna's mind, and all she could do was step forward until their bodies were so close they were almost touching.
All this time she'd only been surviving, and Clark had taught her what it was like to really live. Ever since they'd parted ways, Shawna couldn't shake the thought of him. Kindhearted, gruff, dominant, and handsome, he was everything she'd hoped Ben would embody just a little bit more. That hadn't been in the cards. Clark was her solution, her salvation. After so long spent starved for excitement, he was her breath of fresh air. Maybe it was a mistake to get caught up in his world, but Shawna was through with playing it safe.
"You caught me by surprise, blondie," Clark uttered, leaning down to speak directly into her ear. The hot breath against her skin grounded her in the reality of the situation. She was here, seeking the help and kindness of a near stranger. A stranger she found she couldn't keep her mind from wandering back to, as though he was her beacon through the dark.
"Isn't surprise a big part of how you live your life?" she asked feebly, the whisper near warbling for how vulnerable she felt. His hand remained on her arm, his cheek almost flush with hers. Shawna could feel the heat rise from his body, and could smell the faint scent of tobacco that lingered on his skin. Before she'd met Clark, she'd never found smoking attractive. Now, the scent of his sins haunted her.
"Yeah," another heated whisper, "I guess you're right."
Clark drew away and looked her over, letting his hand drop from her shoulder to reach around her and draw the door closed. The latch clicked and locked, and he make a sweeping gesture to invite her inside.
"Come. Make yourself at home. Let's talk."
Without waiting for her to respond, Clark turned and wandered further into his apartment. The layout was identical to the unit she'd left behind, but the furnishing made the space radically different. An old, torn up pleather couch was pushed against the back wall, framed with an end table upon which was set an ash tray stacked so high with cigarettes that it had overflown. Ash and spent buds littered the surface of the table. A dusty old television sat on a stand across from the couch, but apart from that, the space was open. Hollow and unused. Vast, despite its miniscule size. Shawna remembered how he'd said he'd just moved in while talking to Mr. Muscles at the gym, and figured that what furniture he did own had been abandoned in the unit or found for cheap second hand.
Clark crossed the room and plopped unceremoniously on the couch. The frame groaned beneath his weight, and Shawna thought it might break. When no snapping of wood followed, she approached and settled beside him delicately. The couch was surprisingly plush, and she quickly found herself buried in its cushions.
"So," Clark said. He tucked an arm over the top of the couch and studied her, drinking her in. Even though he was the one nearly naked, he was getting more from looking at her than she was at him. "I'm guessing from the moving vans and all the furniture that's been coming out of your apartment that the man you spoke so fleetingly of before isn't in the picture anymore."
Brash. Crash. Unapologetic. Shawna took a moment to compose herself before nodding.
"You're right. He um. Well. The details aren't important. But he's gone now."
Clark nodded slowly, churning the words over in his head. After a long moment of consideration he clucked his tongue.
"Well, I'm about to be gone, too."
The words struck Shawna hard, and nausea rose from her stomach to the bottom of her throat. The split with Ben had been her choice, but she'd imagined herself bouncing back from the break up with Clark at her side. Was he going to leave her, too?
"Gone where?" she managed to ask.
"Canada. The road's callin', and I can't tell it no. I've never settled down in one place for long. When the month is done, I should have enough funds to take off for a while. And when I start to go broke, I can set up temporary shop to work my way back. Easy as that."
It was now or never. Shawna had wanted to see the world, and although Canada wasn't high on the list of places she'd wanted to visit, it seemed the safest place to start.
"I'm coming with you."
The corners of Clark's mouth twitched up in amusement, and he hitched a brow as he leaned towards her, cocky and pleased with her determination.
"Are you, now?" he asked. "You getting your own bike then?"
If she was going to do this, she had to be determined. This was a new beginning, and Shawna wasn't going to let anything get in the way of her dreams. Not anymore. Clark was her springboard, and with his help she'd leap up to find her place amongst the stars. There would be no more waiting for a man to do it for her — she'd make all of her dreams come true.
"No. I'm riding with you."
Clark laughed and leaned back against the arm of the couch, shaking his head in mild disbelief. Even as he mocked her, he was handsome.
"Little blonde suburbs girl like yourself, scared of the restaurant down the street, wants to hit the road with a guy like me? I'm not going to stop you, blondie, but I'm not going to coddle you, either. You do this, I'm not turning around to bring you back home because you can't take it. This is my game, and I play by my own rules. You're welcome to play beside me, or strike off on your own, but you'll do so knowing that I'm not going to hold your pretty manicured hand the whole way."
"I understand," Shawna said. "I'm prepared. I can take care of myself. I just have to get out of here and live a little."
She'd already made the arrangements at the office to work remotely and at odd hours, and she wasn't going to back down now. Clark didn't have to worry about a thing.
"How much money you got?" he asked. The question came out of nowhere, but Shawna was learning to roll with the punches. He was asking her for a reason; she wouldn't lie.
"A few thousand disposable, and a considerable savings that I won't touch."
Clark whistled low and ran his tongue over his teeth, sucking in.
"Well.
I said a month, but if you're going to be rolling with me and you have that kind of dough, what do you say about leaving this afternoon?"
This afternoon. Shawna's eyes widened, but she bit back the hesitations that longed to tumble from her lips. What ifs and buts and what abouts had held her back from her happiness in her relationship with Ben, and now it was time to start fresh. Avoiding reluctant behavior was the key to a brighter future, and if she ever wanted to improve herself, she had to start right away before she fell back into old habits.
"How many hours?"
"Four," Clark replied. "Gotta pack a bag, draw up a map and battle plan, and make a few phone calls. After that, I'm ready to burn rubber."
Fear and excitement sprung up inside of her, twin intensities that made her anticipate the adventure to come that much more. Four short hours and she'd be on the way to a new life — a new identity. Four hours and she'd be out of this town and on the road to the unknown with no obligations to hold her down or responsibilities to worry about. Shawna swallowed hard and nodded.
"Okay. Four hours. I'll pack and meet you back here. What kind of suitcase should I use?"
Clark's lips puckered, and then the dam broke and he burst out laughing.
"Suitcase? Really, blondie? God, it's going to be fun opening your eyes."
SHEIKH'S SURPRISE BABY: A Sheikh Romance Page 29
