Defining Riley (A Harper's Rock Legacy Novel Book 4)

by JJ Ellis

  “Can we find out. I mean could they tell the difference between brothers?”

  “Yeah, but we won’t have to worry about it. Jospeh and I have a different mother than Terry. Our mom died shortly after she had me and Terry’s mom raised and eventually adopted me.”

  “Oh...I never knew.”

  “We didn’t talk about it much. It was always just my dad, Mary, and us kids.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay. It is what it is, I guess.”

  They were both quiet for a while, each contemplating what the future would be like if they actually were father and son when the nurse came in with discharge papers to be signed. Before they left, their DNA was off to be tested and Riley had something new to worry about. They had an appointment at the Sheriff’s office.

  RILEY WAS SHAKING AS he and Johnny walked away from the Sheriff’s office. “They think I killed him on purpose. That I used my ailing cousin as an excuse to kill my father in cold blood.”

  “They’ll never make it stick,” Johnny fumed. “Something must have crawled up the Sheriff’s ass.”

  “They have two witnesses who heard me threaten him. They took a DNA sample hoping to prove I raped my own cousin.”

  “But you didn’t and the sample will prove that.”

  “Adella needs to talk. Do you think she will?”

  “I don’t know, Ri. I hope so. As soon as she wakes up for more than an hour at a time I’m going to call in a counselor.”

  Riley didn’t say anything, but he was pretty sure it would be too late when she finally recovered. The Sheriff’s department was intent on railroading him with or without a rape.

  “I’m scared, Uncle Johnny; really fucking scared.”

  “Well get through this.”

  FOUR DAYS AFTER RILEY left the hospital, Adella was released and they were allowed to go back to Harper’s Rock. The investigation into the death of Terry Johnson was ongoing and as far as the Denver Sheriff’s Department was concerned, Riley was a murderer. And as they soon found out, so was Harper’s Rock. Because of the talk and distasteful looks, he ended up retreating to the car while Johnny finished the grocery shopping. Luckily, Adella was home with Ben so she hadn’t had to witness any of it. Riley and Ben now seemed to be her biggest source of comfort.

  “How can we get her to talk?” Riley asked as he sat at the dining room table with Johnny and Ben.

  “I’m at a loss. She’s always been verbal,” Johnny said.

  “It’s like she’s in a trance,” Ben put in. “It’s not good for her or the...the baby.”

  “Maybe we should call the counselor from the autism camp,” Johnny decided. “She’s your aunt, right Benjamin?”

  “Oh my God! That’s it!” Ben exclaimed jumping out of his seat. “Addie is the horse whisperer. If anything can get through to her, it’s the horses. She and misty were close during camp.”

  “It’s worth a shot,” Riley said in agreement. “Can you call your aunt?” Ben got on the phone while the other two got Addie prepared to go and twenty minutes later they pulled up in front of the camp’s barn. Addie’s counselor, Emily Harper, met them in front of Misty’s stall.

  “Hey, Adella. Someone sure missed you while you were in Colorado.” She opened the stall and led Misty out.”

  Riley and Ben were holding her hands when she let go and reached up to take the gentle mare’s head in her hands. Tears slowly ran down her face. “Tell me all about it baby,” she whispered. “And then if you’ll listen, I’ll tell you.” The horse whinnied, and everyone quietly left the barn, leaving Addie to do her thing.

  When she came out an hour later, her face was streaked with tears but the slightest smile sat steady on her face.”

  “Hey, sweetheart.” It was Ben who spoke first.

  “Hi. Are you mad at me?”

  Ben smiled and walked closer. “Nobody is mad at you. We love you.” Ben steeled himself as Adella threw herself into his arms and cried.

  “We’re here for you baby girl; all of us.”

  She pulled back from Ben and looked at her father. “I know, Daddy.” It was his turn for a hug and then she approached Riley who stood away from the others. “I owe you my life. I will never be able to thank you enough.”

  “I don’t need thanks. I’m just glad you are okay.”

  “I’m still going to thank you every chance I can get,” she said pulling him in for a hug and placing a kiss on his cheek. “Can we all go home now? I think Daddy and I have a couple of things to discuss.”

  “Yeah, lets head home. I think Benjamin should be in on at least part of the conversation too.”

  “I think I’m going to go see Aidan if that’s okay,” Riley said. “It will give you guys some privacy.”

  “Here,” Johnny said, handing his nephew his keys. “Take the truck and I’ll ride home with Ben. That way you don’t have to do a double trip.”

  “Thanks. I’ll see you all later.”

  RILEY COULDN’T WAIT to see Aidan despite the fact that he had told the police about threatening his father. It wasn’t like he would be able to lie to them. But there was still that small sense of betrayal that he hadn’t stayed quiet. Hell, he wasn’t even sure if his boyfriend would want to see him. Maybe he thought he was a murderer like everyone else in town.

  As he walked up to the house, he swore he saw the curtain move. He got the feeling that wasn’t a good sign. The door was answered on the third ring. “Hi, Riley.”

  “Hey. How are you?”

  He completely ignored the question. “I suppose you’re mad at me.”

  Riley gave a half shrug and smiled. “Not really. I guess you had no choice. Can you hang out?”

  “I...” He turned and looked back into the house. “I guess, for a little bit.” He opened the door wider and let Riley slip by.

  “Are your parents here?”

  “No. I just...”

  “Oh my God. You’re afraid to be alone with me?”

  It was Aidan’s turn to shrug. “People say you killed him on purpose. They said you raged about him when they found you with the gun.”

  “And you believed them?” Riley asked incredulously.

  “I...I know you wanted him dead.”

  “It was just talk, Aidan. He had just beaten the shit out of me. But yes, I was raving when they found us because I had just killed the man I witnessed raping my cousin and he shot at me first. I had to do it to save our lives. He said he wanted us dead.”

  “But the deputies said...”

  “They lied to get you to talk. Addie will tell them exactly what happened.”

  “But she’s not talking, is she?”

  “She is now.”

  Aidan sat on the couch and watched Riley pace. “So you didn’t sneak out to kill him?”

  “No, I snuck out because I knew if the big bad Sheriff went barging in, Terry wouldn’t have hesitated to kill her. My goal was to help her escape.”

  “You weren’t in on it the whole time? So many people knew you hated her because of her autism.”

  Riley stopped pacing and glared at his boyfriend. “You knew that was because of my dad and you supposedly care about me but you truly believe that I could kill someone without a second thought?”

  “No Ri, I just...” But he had nothing more to say.

  “I love you, Aidan.”

  “I love you, too. It’s just that you get so angry and you’ve been known to blow up at the slightest provocation. Ri, you’re a bully. Sometimes it scares me.”

  Riley fought back tears. “If I scare you so much why do you stay with me?”

  “We’re good together.”

  “Physically?”

  “No. yes. I...”

  “Are you afraid to kiss me?”

  “No!”

  Riley smirked. “Then do it.”

  Aidan walked over and pressed his lips to Riley’s. “I love kissing you.”

  “Are you afraid when we have sex?”

  “
No. I can’t get enough of you.”

  “Then have sex with me. Now.”

  Aidan kissed him one more time then dragged him to his bedroom.

  AIDAN YAWNED AND ROLLED over in bed to find Riley lacing up his boots. “You’re leaving already?”

  “Yeah,” he sighed as he stood up. “I’ve got to get home. Addie kind of relies on me the last couple of days. Especially when Ben’s not there.”

  “So, are we good?”

  “I don’t know,” Riley said honestly. “If you text back the next time I text you then I’ll know you’ve figured things out. But just to warn you, I won’t be in a relationship with someone who fears me.” He walked away knowing that there was a good chance he no longer had a boyfriend.

  On the ride home, his mind was kept busy with the mess his life had become but nothing compared to the fear he felt when he pulled up to the house to find Denver Sheriff’s department car parked at the curb. His first instinct was to run but a voice at the back of his mind reminded him that it was a stupid idea.

  With his head held high and his heart pounding in his chest, he went inside. “What’s going on?”

  “Hey, Riley. These deputies are here to question Adella for their boss who apparently can’t fucking wait until we get down there on Monday.”

  Riley squelched the urge to coach his uncle on his language and turned to the deputies instead. “You’re seriously going to bother a traumatized victim so soon. She just started talking again a few hours ago.”

  “It’s okay, guys,” Adella said coming out of her room with Ben. “Maybe it’s best if I get it over with.”

  “Are you sure, sweetheart?” Johnny asked moving over to take her hand. “You’re still so worn down.”

  “I’ll be okay, Daddy. I just want to be done with this. And if I do it, I won’t have to go back to Colorado.”

  ADELLA TOLD HER HARROWING, emotional story to the deputies who recorded the conversation while the Sheriff listened in.

  “Well, Sheriff, are you going to charge my nephew or not?”

  “No, Mr. Johnson. Our investigation is complete, and we’ll be recommending no charges be filed. I’ll call the DA now.”

  “Thank you.” Johnny showed the deputies out then ordered Chinese takeout for him, Addie, Riley, and Ben.

  “You okay, Uncle Johnny?”

  “I will be. Hearing the whole story was...”

  “Hard, sickening, horrific?”

  “All of the above. I want to scream and vomit and hit someone, but Addie doesn’t need to see me like that.”

  “Hey guys,” Addie called from the kitchen where she’d been preparing drinks and getting paper plates for them to use. “Should we eat in the dining room or the living room?”

  “Wherever you want sweetheart,” Johnny called back. “I’m scared, Riley. She’s acting like nothing happened.”

  “I know. It scares me too. How long does the numbness last?”

  15

  NOVACAINE

  WHAT RILEY DIDN’T HAVE the courage to admit to his uncle was that he was also scared for himself, something was off. He had taken another life and he felt nothing. Maybe he was just as numb as Adella and it was normal or perhaps as he’d always believed, there was something inherently wrong with him. The fact that he had no trouble sleeping had been his first clue that something wasn’t right.

  “Riley baby, what’s going on?”

  “Mama? What are you doing here? Am I dead?”

  “No baby, you’re alive. I was told to come get your father. Where is he?”

  Riley looked around. He wasn’t in his room anymore. He was back in the cabin. “He’s...he’s in the bedroom. He’s dead, Mama. I killed him.”

  Merilee ran past her son and into the bedroom. When Riley joined her, she was sobbing over her husband’s dead body. “Riley put the gun down.”

  He looked down at his hand to see the pistol he hadn’t realized he was holding. “I’m sorry, Mama. I had to kill him. He tried to kill me and Adella. He did awful things to her. He deserved to die, Mama.”

  She seemed not to hear him. She just looked at him with such hatred. “How could you kill your own flesh and blood? You’re no longer my son!”

  Riley started to cry. “Mama, please don’t say that. We’ve always known he’s going to Hell. We’ll be together in Heaven. Please, Mama.”

  Merilee stood and hissed, her beauty fading. “Who says I went to Heaven?”

  Terry opened his dull, dead eyes and joined Merilee, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. “She’s been waiting for me in Hell. We’ll be waiting here for you.”

  “You’re a murderer now, Riley. See you when you join us.”

  Maniacal laughter grew louder and louder as Riley’s sight faded to black and he suddenly realized that it was no longer laughter he heard but his own screams.

  “Riley, son, wake up!” Johnny hollered. “Riley, wake up.”

  Finally pushing through the fog, Riley opened his eyes and his voice nearly gave out. “Dad?” he croaked.

  “It’s Uncle Johnny.”

  “No. I want you to be my dad. I need you to be my dad.”

  Johnny comforted his nephew with a hug. “I want that too. We’ll know next week and then we’ll go on from there.”

  “What?”

  They both turned to the doorway to see Addie standing there with a surprised look on her face. “Hey, baby girl. Come here and we’ll tell you what’s going on.”

  That conversation ended with a hug between cousins. “I really hope you are my brother,” Adella gushed. “Maybe that’s why we were so close when we were little.”

  “Maybe. I...I feel that coming back. Do you?”

  “Yes, I do. And as someone who is really close to you, would you tell me what your nightmare was about?”

  Riley looked down at his hands. “I’m sorry I woke everyone up. It’s just I saw my Mama in my dream. She was just like I remembered her; sweet and so beautiful. But then...”

  When he didn’t continue, Adella reached out and took his hand. “Then what?”

  “She started saying how much she hated me for killing Terry and then they both turned on me. She lost her beauty and they mocked me because I would be joining them both in Hell someday. Mama was jut as evil as Dad.” Riley looked up at his uncle. “Please tell me my mom wasn’t like him. My memory of her is all that gets me through the day sometimes.”

  “No, son, your mother was one hundred percent good. That’s why she loved your dad despite his faults and that’s why everyone who knew her cherished her.”

  Riley nodded and wiped away the stray tears from his eyes. “Thanks, guys. Can I go back to sleep now?”

  Johnny stood and headed for the door. “Come on, Addie.”

  “I’m going to stay until he falls asleep,” she said moving over to the other twin bed in the room. “Maybe it will keep the fears away from both of us.”

  “Come on, Adella,” Johnny coaxed. “He didn’t ask for company.”

  “It’s okay,” Riley murmured sleepily.

  “Okay. Goodnight you two.”

  After Johnny left. Riley turned to face the other bed. “Thank you for staying.”

  Adella chuckled. “No thanks necessary, cousin. Besides I’m the one who is supposed to be thanking you. Remember what I said after you guys took me to see Misty?”

  It was Riley’s turn to chuckle. “Goodnight...sister.”

  WHEN RILEY WOKE THE next morning it was because he’d been dreaming of his dad’s tortured, surprised eyes the moment he realized that his queer son had shot him and he was about to die. This time there were no screams, just a strange sense of guilt over causing that look on his father’s face. He had killed a man and he didn’t like the feeling it gave him. He couldn’t help but think that he truly was evil somehow. Not on purpose and not permanently but that at one time he had committed the most heinous act a person could.

  Adella was gone so he took a moment to try to get his senses back under cont
rol but instead bile rose in his throat and he rushed into the Jack and Jill bath he shared with his cousin.

  “Ri! Where are you? Breakfast is ready.”

  “Thanks, Addie. I’ll be out in a minute.” Riley looked in the mirror at his pale face and blood shot eyes. Did he look like a killer? He definitely looked strung out but that wasn’t his usual look. He’d had a crushingly awful week. It almost reminded him of the bouts of heaviness and pain he dealt with sometimes. They’d increased as he got older but he’d learned to put them out of his mind. Now though, he wasn’t sure he’d have the strength anymore. A beast inside of him was working hard to fight its way out. He suddenly felt useless and helpless.

  He tried plastering a smile on his face but when it took too much effort to keep it there he gave up and stepped into the dining room.

  “Morning. How are you feeling?” Johnny asked from his seat at the head of the table.

  “Fine,” Riley answered, not looking him in the eye.

  Johnny studied his nephew for a few minutes while he ate. “I think maybe you should see a counselor. Can I make you an appointment?”

  “Do you really think that will help?”

  “I’m sorry...I’m not sure what that’s supposed to mean.”

  Adella reached over and touched her father’s arm getting his attention “I think he’s wondering if there is even anything out there that can help him. He feels lost and too messed up to be helped.”

  Riley just stared at his cousin as if she were a magic mindreading alien from outer space.

  “I’ve been there, Ri. The best thing I ever did was see a counselor.”

  Riley stood abruptly and took his half-eaten breakfast to the trash can. “Sure whatever. Make an appointment. Is it okay if I hang out with Aidan today?”

  “Sure, that will be fine. It’s New Year’s Eve, though. I don’t want you on the road with all the drunks. Either come home before nine or stay put until morning.”

  “Yes sir,” Riley started to leave but turned back. “It really doesn’t feel right using my...Terry’s truck, but my car was left at Uncle Joseph’s with a dead battery.”