Night Lover

by Rosanna Leo

  Only then did I realize my hands were no longer tied. My eyes popped open and I moved my arms. As the smell of wooden timbers filled my nostrils, I realized I was back in my room. And once again, my dream lover had left me in a pool of longing.

  My crotch throbbed and felt wet. I slipped off the bed and padded to the bathroom on shaky legs. Flicking on the light, I realized my bottom half was bare. Somehow, I’d managed to climb out of my khakis and underwear.

  With a tentative hand, I touched myself and gasped. I gawked in the mirror.

  I was covered in bruises. A hand-shaped bruise covered my hip. My lip was cut where he bit me. Even more distressing, my pelvic area was now black and blue.

  Chapter Seven

  I hobbled into rehearsal Monday morning. Despite my intentions to walk in, head high, like a normal person, my body remained sore from Hugh’s attentions. In the moment, I’d loved it. Hell, I would have killed to keep his hands on me and the tingle throughout my body, despite his wild possessiveness. He scared me, scared me even more now that I’d indulged Margaret Cummings in her ramblings, but at the same time, I longed for him.

  An incubus? No. I’d read part of his journal, had begun to catch glimpses of his love for Claudia. He could not be a demon. I refused to believe it.

  Yes, something strange was happening to me, but it wasn’t a case of demonic possession. It was just…Hugh. Loving me. Like me, he’d loved and lost, and had somehow found a way to reach out from beyond the grave to me.

  Ah, hell. Who was I kidding? I was going nuts.

  I sat in my chair and tightened my silk scarf so it covered all my love bites. I pulled out my sheet music and checked the time. We still had a quarter hour before rehearsal started but I avoided the chit chat of the other singers and musicians. I sat alone and stared at the floor, frightened and ashamed and still so hungry for Hugh’s touch.

  I looked up when Lizzy bounded into the music room, Joseph holding her hand. She glanced at me, frowned, and whispered to him. He took up his spot by the percussion instruments.

  She slid into the empty chair beside me. “Jesus, Christ. You look like you got run over by a truck.”

  “Thanks. Really nice.” I had no patience for her teasing banter today. Everything inside my panties hurt and yet I still had the odd desire to slip my fingers between my legs and appease the ache of loneliness.

  She put a hand to my brow. “I’m not trying to hurt your feelings, but you look sick. I can take you to a doctor.”

  “I don’t need one.”

  “Well, I’m staying at the inn with you tonight. No nookie for me. We need some girl time.”

  “How kind of you,” I muttered, glaring at her. “Although I’d hate to cut into your fucking time.”

  She recoiled as if I’d slapped her.

  Oh, hell. Where had that come from? “Lizzy, I’m sorry. I don’t know why I said that.” I choked back tears. “Something’s wrong with me.”

  She stared at me and after a moment, the angry lines in her face softened. She checked the clock on the wall. “We still have time. I saw Finn talking to someone outside. Come with me.” She grabbed my hand and led me into the hallway.

  “No, this way.” Before I broke down completely, I headed toward the women’s bathroom, Lizzy following. Once inside, I locked the door and turned to her. “I’m not making a pass at you but I need to show you something.” Before I changed my mind, I pulled down my shorts and panties.

  Blushing, she glanced at my lady parts, but her eyes widened when she spied the bruises. Her hand flew to her mouth. After a moment, her gaze returned to my face. “Holy fuck. What happened?”

  “Hugh did this,” I sobbed as I adjusted my clothes. “He tied me to his bed and had his way with me. He keeps asking me to save him and I don’t know what to do.”

  She just stared at me as if she expected me to go postal. She took a step toward me, and I couldn’t help feeling glad she didn’t take five steps back. Even still, she regarded me with the wariness of an unarmed guard facing a homicidal maniac with a loaded gun. And why wouldn’t she? She’d seen me at my worst before. “Sweetie, I know I’ve sort of indulged you with all this talk about your dream man, but this is wrong.” She put a hand on my shoulder. “Renata, we need to get you to the police. Someone’s been hurting you and I haven’t been around to stop it.” Her eyes filled with tears.

  “No, I haven’t been raped, I swear! And I’m not making it up. Hugh’s coming to me at night. Only this last time, he was upset because I…well, Finn gave me these.” I moved my silk scarf aside and showed her the new hickeys. “Finn was drunk and we got carried away.”

  Her pale skin grew even whiter. “And you think Hugh is…angry?”

  “He says I belong to him. Only him.”

  She swore again. Several times. She swallowed and blinked a few times, regaining her composure. “Okay. Here’s what we’re going to do. You’re going to wash your face and we’re going to forget about good old Hugh for a while. We’re going to head back to rehearsal and I’m going to tell Finn you’re sick. And I’m taking you to the inn and we’re going to talk. Really talk.”

  “No. I want to rehearse. It’ll take my mind off things. And besides, I don’t want Finn to think I couldn’t face him after what happened.”

  She passed a hand over my hair. “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah. But can we hang out tonight? I don’t really want to be alone.”

  She hugged me. “I’m so sorry I left you by yourself.”

  “You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m happy for you and Joseph, really I am. I’m sorry for what I said. It came out of nowhere. I didn’t mean it.”

  “I know.” She kissed me on the cheek. “Okay, let’s rehearse.”

  Hand-in-hand, we headed back through the ornamented halls of the manor toward the music room. I knew Lizzy probably thought I was crazy. I thought I was crazy, too. However, I could not deny the bruises on my sex. There was no way I battered myself in my sleep.

  No way in hell.

  I spotted Finn at the front of the room when we walked in. He looked over, saw our clenched hands, and looked me in the eye. He must have noticed my pallor because he marched over.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Actually,” chimed in Lizzy, “she’s not so fine, but we can’t talk about it here. Maybe later?”

  “Lizzy, no!”

  She glared right back at me. “You need help and I don’t know how to help you.” She glanced at my fresh hickeys. “And frankly, I get the feeling Finn might want to know what’s been going on.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?” He clasped my arm. “Renata, what’s wrong?”

  I pulled away from him and he flinched. “Nothing’s wrong. Let’s just do the rehearsal. Please.” Angry Lizzy would want to reveal my secret, I marched back to my chair and sat, my back ramrod straight, waiting to begin.

  Finn and Lizzy whispered to each other at the front of the room and then she took her spot with the violinists. He walked over to the conductor’s podium, stared at his music with unseeing eyes, and then looked at me. His gaze drifted toward my neck and then he glanced at my mouth. His gaze slowly made the climb to my eyes, and deep furrows of worry lined his brow. Shaking his head, he mustered a smile for the rest of the musicians. “Welcome, everyone. I’d like to start from the top, please.” He raised his hands to conduct and launched into the music.

  As the sweet sounds swelled under his capable hands, I closed my eyes and waited for my cue.

  »»•««

  Lizzy and I took our break outside, and I was pleased to breathe the fresh air. We found a bench near the manor garden, next to a patch of crimson roses. While she ran to the basement shop to grab us some drinks, I sat there and inhaled the perfume.

  As I luxuriated in the fragrance, it somehow morphed into Hugh’s spicy scent. I couldn’t escape him, even outside the walls of his family home. Had he sat here in this garden, dreaming of
his Claudia? Had he planned his future here, a future that would be cut short?

  I had to know more about what happened to him and to Claudia. I’d been unable to read any more of his journal entries, too overcome with strange fatigue, but I was determined to finish the booklet.

  I had to know why this man had such power over my life.

  “Is this seat taken?”

  I looked up, expecting to see Lizzy, but found Finn instead. He sat before I could respond. “Finn…”

  “No,” he interrupted, putting his hand on mine. “Please. Just let me say this. The other night… I’m sorry for kissing you.” An awkward grin twisted his lips. “Not that I didn’t enjoy the kiss, but I regret the circumstances. I was feeling sorry for myself. Seeing you again after all these years has been great but…more challenging than I expected it to be. I let myself get carried away and consoled myself with drink. I’m not an alcoholic, I swear.”

  “I know.”

  “What I’m trying to say, very poorly, is…” He gazed at me, his eyes dark and full of confusion. “I do care for you. I’ll always care for you. And now that you sing for me, I feel an added responsibility to make sure you’re happy and safe.”

  “Finn…”

  “Lizzy tells me you’ve been having bad dreams.”

  I gawked at him, abashed and relieved and anxious all at once. And just like that, I told him everything. About the dreams. About Hugh. About Margaret’s claims, and the bruises between my legs. During that part, his fingers clenched the park bench so hard I feared he’d wrench the wood from its supports. I didn’t mean to reveal it all, but I’d never been able to hide anything from him. Even when we’d been an item, I’d shared all my darkest secrets with him, and he shared his with me. It had been the most powerful part of our bond, the fact we could tell each other anything.

  To feel such comfort now, when we were no longer an item, filled me with strange ease.

  When I got to the end of my bizarre tale, I regarded him from out of the corner of my eye, unsure what his reaction would be. He stared at me and worried his bottom lip, but then took a deep breath and sat up straight.

  “Well,” he declared. “There’s only one thing to do.”

  “What’s that? Commit me to the nearest asylum? Fit me for a straight-jacket?”

  “No, sweetheart. I’m moving you into my room.”

  Heat rushed into my face. “Finn, we can’t…”

  “Don’t be silly, woman. I’m not making a move.” He frowned. “Look, this…thing comes to you at night when you’re sleeping. I think it might be prudent if you slept with someone else. I’ll take the sofa, of course. You can have my bed and if Hugh Dawlish, or whatever he is, thinks he can knock you about, he’ll answer to me.”

  I didn’t know what to say so I just gawked at him.

  He took advantage of my silence. “Then it’s settled. We’re moving you in tonight.” He stood and grinned, arching an eyebrow. “I don’t remember you snoring before. I hope that hasn’t changed.”

  As Lizzy approached, he walked away. She handed me a bottle of orange juice and sat next to me, a sheepish grin on her face.

  “You do have a big mouth, Lizzy.”

  She just shrugged, smiled, and sucked back her juice. “I figured if Hugh came around again, he’d be more intimidated by a dude with big arms, rather than a petite violinist. Sue me for caring.”

  »»•««

  Strangely enough, it didn’t prove awkward moving my things into Finn’s room at the inn, but the surrealism of the moment did strike me. When I consider how many times I’d dreamed of sharing a space with him, of making a life with him, this alternate universe scenario made me want to laugh out loud.

  Once my suitcases were nestled in the corner of his room next to his duffle bags, and my toiletries on a shelf in his bathroom, we stood together, grinning like idiots.

  Okay, now it felt awkward. Now the room, though large, seemed to close in on me. For weeks, I’d walked around with Hugh’s cologne in my head, but Finn’s scent now seemed to battle with it. All I smelled was soap and sweet familiarity, and I could conceive of no better balm for my soul.

  I took a step toward him. “You don’t have to do this.”

  His grin slipped away. “Don’t I?” He reached a hand toward my scarf and I stepped back. He moved closer. “Let me look.”

  As I stood still, Finn loosened my scarf and removed it, setting it on the bed. He tipped my chin, moving it to the right and to the left, no doubt comparing the dueling sets of love bites. His jaw ticking, he looked at me. “He did this to you? These marks on the right?”

  “Yes. I haven’t been with anyone else.”

  “And the bruises on your…”

  “Yes.” Oh God, I wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

  The glint in his sapphire eyes spoke of quiet fury, of the need to inflict pain. However, he ran a hand over his face and then put his hands on my shoulders. “He doesn’t get to touch you again. Do you understand me? No one gets to touch you like that.”

  Before I could process the raw emotion behind his statement, he leaned his forehead against mine and let out a sigh. So help me God, I leaned into him. Shoulders brushing against shoulders. Fingers tangling. His lips caressed my temple and I stifled a moan.

  “Finn. I don’t understand.”

  He wrapped me in his arms, burying his face in my neck. After many delicious moments, in which I just breathed him in, he looked at me. “All you need to understand is this. I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

  Before I did something stupid, like yanking off my top, I pulled out of his embrace. He stood still for a moment, hands on hips, his lips compressed with determination.

  “I’m starving,” I confessed, smiling to lighten the mood. “Want to eat? I saw a little Mediterranean place down the high street.”

  He exhaled in apparent frustration. “Yeah. Let’s eat.”

  We picked Lizzy up and the three of us walked down the road to the restaurant, a cute place with Greek folk music playing in the background. As soon as the maître d' seated us at a plush booth, I began to feel a bit more human. Yes, dinner with friends at a nice eatery. This was what normal people did. Normal people did not let ghosts fuck them.

  I could do this.

  You belong to me. His voice echoed from somewhere deep in my core.

  Oh yeah? I belong to no one, big boy. Go into the light, or whatever it is you people do. Just leave me alone. The waiter approached and put a menu in my hands. I greedily took it, eager to forget the voices in my head. Before the waiter could even mention the evening specials, I announced, “Moussaka, please. And a large white wine.”

  Lizzy and Finn glanced at each other.

  “Actually, that sounds good,” said Lizzy. “Same for me, please.”

  “And for me,” added Finn. “Only I’ll have a Guinness instead of wine, please.”

  The waiter headed off to place the order.

  “So,” began Lizzy, looking at me. “Are you all settled in Finn’s room?”

  I offered Finn a conciliatory look. “You mean, is he settled on the couch? Yeah. And I feel even guiltier.”

  “Don’t,” he replied.

  “Look, Renata,” Lizzy said. “We just want to help. Whatever this is, whether real or imagined, we want to help you through it.”

  “I didn’t imagine it.”

  She blinked a few times, choosing her words. “I can see how you’d believe it.”

  “Lizzy, I haven’t imagined a thing. Please give me some credit.” I sighed. “Look, the tour guide at the manor, Margaret Cummings, she said this has happened before. That he’s some sort of incubus. She has a whole list of women dating from the 1970s, brunette sopranos who fell under his sway and died. She thinks he was cursed, that he wants to bring someone into the afterlife with him. That he targets women who remind him of his murdered lover.”

  “Deranged,” offered Finn.

  “I think it’s sad,” I replied. “He miss
es her.”

  “Is that so?” demanded Finn. “He can miss her all he bloody well wants. He doesn’t get you.”

  “It’s creepy,” said Lizzy.

  “It’s fucking warped,” he concurred.

  “Oh, come on, guys. It’s sort of romantic.”

  “Are you defending him?” he asked, his eyes widening.

  “Of course not…”

  “Renata,” he interrupted, his voice rising. “Look at you. You’re a wreck. I thought you were pale when I first saw you at the manor, but I figured it was the jet lag. But since you’ve been here, you’ve wasted away. Even over the past couple of weeks, you’ve lost weight.”

  Okay, maybe my clothes felt a bit loose, but he didn’t need to draw attention to it. I crossed my arms over my chest.

  “You’re as white as a sheet,” he continued. “And you have permanent dark circles under your eyes.”

  “What’s the matter, Finn? Worried I won’t be pretty enough for your ensemble?”

  “Don’t give me that bullshit. Look, a couple of the musicians have even approached me because they’re worried you’re not well. Whether this thing with Hugh Dawlish is your imagination or something paranormal, it’s eating away at you.”

  “If you’re concerned about my singing…”

  “I’m not. Your singing’s fine for now, but I’ll be honest. You’ve lost your sparkle, your energy. You might be able to hold a note, but how will you sing for the duration of the festival when it looks as if you might collapse at any moment?”

  “We’re worried about you,” added Lizzy.

  “So what do I do? I don’t know how to fight him off.”

  “Tonight,” Finn stated, “I’ll give you a sleeping pill. I think, more than anything, you need a good night’s sleep. We’ll see if Hugh Dawlish can come to you when you’re knocked out.” He sat back in his seat, crossed his arms, his eyes glinting with determination.

  A sleeping pill. Go figure.

  For the first time in a while, a rush of hope streaked through me. I reached for Finn’s hand under the table in a quiet expression of thanks. He grinned then, his lips twitching and his gaze softening with concern. As my heart swelled, I grinned right back at him.