Art of Forgiveness

by Monique Orgeron

  I’m happy he’s asking permission to touch me, but it’s starting to get on my nerves, feeling like they’re, all pitying me.

  “Yeah, sure, what do I have to do?”

  “Here, stick out your arms and hold your hands up.”

  I do as he says, and he’s being careful not to have too much contact. I notice he has blue eyes, too, like Liam’s. But he has darker hair, I guess like Fallon’s husband. Shit, how are they all like this? How can one woman have produced every other woman’s dream team?

  “There you go. Now let’s put these gloves on.”

  The gloves are smaller than I figured, they have holes for all my fingers, and they’re pink. He got me pink gloves. Aww.

  “Let’s do this, shall we?” Zander shows me his winning smile.

  He tells me we need to warm up first. So, he instructs me on a few stretches and then he gestures towards a boxing bag. He starts to instruct me how to stand and how to hold my hands. He gives the bag a few punches with no gloves on and then asks me to try. About twenty minutes later, Catherine interrupts, saying she has a call she needs to take. She asks if I will be okay alone with Zander. I tell her to go. I’m starting to trust all of them more. So, I’m willing to give it a shot.

  Once Catherine’s gone, Zander says, “I thought she’d never leave.”

  He startles me. Why does he want Catherine gone? Was I wrong? Maybe I trusted too fast? I see him bend down into his bag and pull some papers out.

  With a huge smile on his face, he says, “I have something for you that might be more motivational. Turn around. I promise it will be worth it.”

  I turn. I mean, what can he do with paper? And besides, if he wanted to hurt me, he could have done that with me facing him. I start hearing the paper crumpling, and then I hear tape being ripped.

  “Oh yeah, this is going to be good. Turn around, Avery.”

  I see a picture of the senator taped to the punching bag. I’m not sure what I feel. Part of me is freaking out seeing his face, but then part of me wants to punch the fucking picture over and over again.

  “Hey, hey, it’s okay, Avery, it’s just a picture. I just thought you could take some of your shit out on his face, and if he’s not enough for you, watch.”

  Zander turns the bag around, and it’s a picture of Liam taped to the bag. I start laughing hysterically, and Zander follows suit.

  Once I get my laughing under control, I ask, “So, I guess you know that story, too?”

  “Yeah, Liam told me what he did. So, what will it be? Asshole number one, or asshole number two?”

  “Both.”

  “Thatta girl, punch them fuckers with all you got.”

  By the time we finish, I’m sweating like crazy and feel my body wanting to give out, but it sort of feels good. It’s hard to explain my body is exhausted, yet my mind feels at peace. Zander helps me out of my gloves and hands me a bottle of water.

  “You did good today, kid; how do you feel?”

  “Done. I just feel done.”

  He chuckles. “Good, that’s how you should feel after a workout. I hope it helped. I come in here sometimes to release my anger. It helps when I can’t find an asshole to put my fist through. I think it might help you with your anger, too.”

  I never thought about anger. I feel frustrated, self-pity, and aggravation over my circumstances. But I don’t think I allowed myself to feel angry yet. At least I didn’t recognize it until I saw the senator’s picture. Zander’s right, I felt angry and wanted to get it out. I need this; funny how Catherine knows what I need more than I do.

  “Earth to Avery.” Zander’s snapping his fingers in front of my face.

  “Sorry, what did you say?”

  “I was asking you about Mom. How’s it been going with her?”

  “Oh, I would’ve thought you wanted to ask me about Liam. Your mom and Fallon can’t seem to leave it alone.”

  “Well, the way you punched his face kind of gave it away.”

  “You mean how I think he’s an asshole and a prick?”

  Zander laughs out loud while shaking his head. “I like you, kid. He’s all those things, but I think you protest too much.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “It was my way of testing you, to see where you stand with my little brother. See, I saw how you hate him in the way you punched his face, but you know what else I saw?”

  I shake my head no, curious as to what he’s going to say next.

  “I saw passion. You can hate him all you want; I don’t care, he deserves it. But somewhere in there you still care, because if you didn’t, you wouldn’t have gone so hard on the bag. You would have been indifferent. So, I think you still love him. Maybe not like you once did, but still, he’s there.” He points to my heart. “I’ll see you later. Mom has me scheduled to come back every other day. Oh, and by the way, if Mom knows how you feel, she won’t give up. You can deny it all you want, but if Catherine thinks you two should be together like I do, then she’ll get you two together. One way or another, you will be the next one.”

  “Next one what?”

  “The next Mrs. Stern. Bye, kid.”

  He’s wrong! Liam doesn’t want me. He never did, and now I sure in the hell don’t want him.

  27

  Avery

  The rest of the week passes by fast, and right as planned, Monday morning after breakfast Tony and Lola are back with shoes, accessories, and many racks of clothes. Some are casual clothes, and many are upscale dresses. Then there is the rack with the most beautiful evening dresses I’ve ever seen. The last rack is filled with expensive lingerie. What the hell do I need with those?

  Catherine and Fallon are in my room with us. They each sit down as Tony goes through some of his favorites he thinks are perfect for me.

  I’ve never heard of some of the designers. I guess that’s because my mother never let me shop and never taught me about clothes; she just dressed me like some doll.

  “Catherine, this is too much.”

  “Nonsense. They’re all for you. Whatever you like, you can have.”

  My head is spinning at how beautiful the clothes are. Tony gives me a bra and panty set to change into. As I leave the room to change, I start getting nervous. Mom always had me wearing cotton everything, and these are satin and lace, pale pink and sexy. I’m not used to seeing myself like this. I put a robe on, and before I can change my mind, I open the door and go back into the bedroom. Tony set up a large portable standing mirror and asks me to stand in front. Then he asks me to remove my robe. I’m not comfortable, and it shows. Tony comes stand in front of me.

  “Do you trust me, Avery? I promise, besides admiring your beauty, I have no use for your body, and I don’t think Catherine or the rest do either. I would like for you to try to feel at ease with us; it will make this a lot more fun; here, we have some champagne. Take a drink and figure out how you want us to proceed.”

  We all have a glass except for Fallon, who drinks apple cider. After I down my drink, I decide fuck it, let’s do this. I slowly remove my robe and let it fall to the floor. No one speaks. I look at Catherine’s face in the mirror, and for some reason she looks very pleased. I guess it’s from me having the courage to remove my robe and stand here for everyone to see. But it’s Fallon who shocks me. She crosses her arms and says, “I hate you right now. I hope you know that?”

  “What? What did I do?”

  “Give me a break. You stand there with your skinny ass, and I’m sitting here fat and pregnant.”

  Everyone starts laughing but me. I have always been on the thin side, just small curves, nothing I would ever say was sexy. Even my breasts are a size B, nothing a man would be like, “Hey, look at her tits.” But I am nothing for Fallon to be jealous of. She is gorgeous even pregnant, more beautiful than most of the women I ever met.

  While they still laugh, I go to put my robe on when Catherine yells out, “Don’t you dare!” She uncrosses her legs and stands, walking toward me; her face i
s stern. “Everyone out, now!” They jump at attention and leave the room. She then turns her attention back to me. “You will accept Fallon’s compliment and acknowledge how beautiful you are. Look at yourself in the mirror and see what we all see. You’re beautiful, Avery. You might be a little raw, but hell, you didn’t see me or Fallon before we remodeled ourselves. Look at your face’s bone structure, Avery, it’s what every model wants. Your skinny body is what every woman who has to work out daily and watch what she eats, prays for. Your breast might not be the largest, but they’re firm and lifted, and your ass is well-toned. I see what Liam saw in you. You are a beauty, and I feel sorry for your mother for never recognizing it. Now look at me.”

  I have tears running down my face. No one has ever told me how beautiful I was, except Liam. But no one has ever described me like she has. My mother never referred to me or my body like I was a woman. Even the small amount of beauty I thought I had was removed after I was raped. I’m not really sure how I should feel about being beautiful or sexy. I’m not sure I want people to notice me anymore. Catherine lays her hands on my shoulders and begins to turn me. My face slowly falls, but she lifts my chin and looks me in my eyes, and I see tears in her eyes, too.

  “Avery, I know you feel a certain way right now about your body, but you can’t let that man or any man rob you of your confidence and the ability to love yourself. You have to rise above your circumstances. Acknowledge what happened to you, but don’t let it fester, or it will destroy you, permanently. Fight it, Avery, fight him. Don’t let him win. Now look at yourself.”

  I turn back around and look in the mirror.

  “I see you, Avery. I see the part of you that is broken and fragile, but I also see the beauty that is begging to be released. Fight, Avery. Don’t let that man steal another day from you. He took enough. Do you hear me? Feeling sorry for yourself and wallowing, is letting him steal your future.” She backs up and crosses her arms. “That body you see in the mirror is your body. You display it the way you want, and you let who you want to touch it, when you want. Be proud of who you are and what you came through. Men who rape don’t do it because of the way women act or how they dress. They do it because they're sick in the head and need the power trip. You did not ask or attract what happened to you. It just happened, and it will never be one hundred percent over in your mind, but you need to complete the steps to heal. Now what do you want to do? He didn’t give you a choice, your mother didn’t give you a choice, but I’m giving you a choice. What will it be? Are you going to let that sick son of a bitch steal another day from you?”

  I stop crying and think about what Catherine said. What do I want, and what do I need? She’s right, I was never given a choice. I never look at it like that. I want choices, and I want my life the way I want it. She’s also right that I am letting him steal from me, but not anymore.

  “No, no, I’m not. This is my body, and I want to feel good about it. I’m not going to let him take any more from me. Tell them to come back in.”

  “Good, Avery, very good.”

  Catherine opens the door and tells them I’m ready. Upon entering, Fallon gives me a big, knowing smile. Tony starts off with the casual clothes and then we move to the rest. The evening gown portion is the best, I feel like a princess all dressed up. The clothes are all classy and elegant, and yes, sexy. I have to admit, I love feeling sexy, even though I maybe shouldn’t, but I do. After it’s all settled and done, Tony was right, he did know what was best for my figure. Now he’s talking about my hair, saying I should try something new, and I decide I want that, too. I need a change.

  I turn to Catherine. “Do you think I can have someone cut my hair?”

  “Already done, Avery. Bridgette and her team will be here after lunch.”

  This woman thinks of everything.

  “Catherine, as soon as I can, I will pay you back. I promise.”

  “No, you won’t. It’s all for you, my gift.”

  “Thank you. You don’t have to do any of it, but I appreciate it.”

  “You can thank me by coming to supper with the family tonight. “

  “I’m not sure if I’m ready.”

  “We’ll see how you feel by this evening.”

  After lunch, the doorbell rings. Jeffery announces the arrival of Bridgette and her crew. Catherine, Fallon and I lead them to my bedroom. Bridgette introduces everyone to me and then gives me a consultation. She also informs me we will be starting on the worst part of my appointment, the grooming. She starts waxing my eyebrows, making a perfect arch. Then she asks me to lay down on a table they have set up. When I question what’s about to happen, Catherine says she has business to tend to and will see us tonight. Fallon stays with me, and I’m thankful for it, especially when I find out why they wanted me to lay down.

  Bridgette proceeds to ask, “Clean up, bare, or landing strip?”

  I look to Fallon for an answer.

  “Don’t look at me, Avery. I wasn’t given a choice. Catherine knew Gabriel liked bare, so I became bare. What do you like?”

  I have no idea. I’ve always been natural, and as far as what a man likes, I have no clue. Although I know Liam always said he liked the natural look.

  I decide and tell Bridgette, “Landing strip.”

  “Oh my God, that hurts. Shit!”

  Fallon and Bridgette laugh, and it pisses me off, then Bridgette asks me to turn around. “Oh shit!” She rips the wax off me fast without warning as she waxes my backside. Damn, I didn’t know they were going to go into all that detail.

  Fallon’s still laughing and asks, “How do you feel?”

  “Naked.”

  All my hair is removed from my body except for my pretty little landing strip, and I love it.

  We decide to cut my hair to a medium length and add a few highlights to my already blonde hair. Then they tell me they’re going to teach me the basics on how to apply and wear my makeup. They also have a bag of makeup for me to keep.

  I love it all. By the time they’re finished with me, I feel beautiful. I still look like me, just better, the me I always wanted to be.

  Fallon calls Catherine to let her know Bridgette and her crew are finished with me. A few minutes later, Catherine walks in and says, “Beautiful, simply beautiful, Avery. I hope you’re not too tired. You look too good to sit in this bedroom all night. Please come and join the family for dinner. You already met everyone except for Gabriel, and he will be the perfect gentlemen.”

  “I think I will, but what do I wear?”

  She walks to my closet that was organized by Lola and picks out a bronze lace cocktail dress and matching Jimmy Choo heels.

  “That’s not too much?”

  “Not tonight. Fallon and I will be dressed similarly.”

  I agree to the dinner and the dress, then wait alone in my room till it’s time.

  28

  Liam

  Mom called earlier and said she expects us all to be at her house tonight for dinner. We are to have an impromptu family gathering.

  After Gabriel and I finish all the work that needs to be done for the day, we both head home together.

  “Gabriel, do you know what tonight’s events are about?”

  “No, Mom didn’t say, and Fallon just said it was nothing important, just a get-together.”

  “Wow, Mom hasn’t had a family dinner in a while. She must be in a good mood.”

  “Fallon was in a good mood, too. Not once did she bitch at me for making her fat.”

  I laugh at that because it’s true. Even though Fallon is still beautiful pregnant, she walks around pouting about how fat she feels and how it’s all Gabriel’s fault. I know Gabriel secretly loves it, though; the more round she gets, the more he swoons with pride. Sort of in a way of “I did that, that’s my baby she swells with.” All macho like.

  As we pull into the parking garage, I see Vin and Zander are already here. We find them sitting in the living room together, having a drink.

  “Pour
us one, too, Vin. Hey, where’s Mom?”

  “I’m right here. I’m so glad you all arrived on time.”

  We all stand and kiss her cheek. I notice Mom is dressed really well for just a family meal. So, I ask, “I thought tonight was just family?”

  “It is, but we will have one special guest. I would like for you all to be on your best behavior.”

  “What are you up to?”

  “You’ll see. I think you will all be pleasantly surprised. I think Jeffery is finished setting up. Shall we?”

  We all sit down in the dining room. Once seated, Mom asks about our interviews with the police about the missing senator. We tell her what we all agreed to say. The police department has been investigating the missing senator for some time now. As of today, they have no clues leading to what might have happened to him. They never will. Our team are experts; there will never be any trace of him again.

  We put an end to our discussion about senator when I notice Fallon isn’t with us. But Gabriel asks first, “Where’s Fallon?”

  Mom tells us all she’ll be down shortly. As soon as she finishes her sentence, we hear noises coming from the stairs. From my chair, I can see the bottom of the staircase, and my heart stops and I almost fall out of my chair trying to stretch my neck to see more. It’s Fallon holding hands with Avery. A very different looking Avery. She’s beautiful, wearing a tight dress that shows off her figure. I’ve never seen her in a dress, besides the ugly white cotillion dress she wore the night we were introduced. As they get closer, I notice her hair is shorter and lighter. Her face is radiant, not caked with makeup, but just enough to make her looks flawless. Perfection is the only word I can think of.

  As Fallon and Avery enter the dining room, all the men stand. Fallon kisses Gabriel and then introduces Avery to him.

  Gabriel kisses Avery’s hand and says, “It’s a pleasure to finally officially meet you, Avery.”

  She giggles and then eyes him up and down. Fuck, did she just swoon and check my brother out? He releases her hand and gestures towards the chair across from me. He then pulls the chair out for her to sit. Always the perfect gentleman, my brother. She glides into the chair and thanks Gabriel. He sits back at the other end of the table, he and my mom at opposite ends. I notice Avery smiles at Vin and then winks at Zander. What the hell?