Art of Forgiveness

by Monique Orgeron

  The morning comes, and I leave Liam sleeping as I walk out. I don’t want to have to explain to him about last night. I know he would probably want to talk and read things into it. I’m not ready for that. I need to be whole before I can talk to Liam about our feelings.

  35

  Liam

  I wake when I feel Avery get out of the bed, but I played like I was still asleep. I know why she’s leaving; she’s not ready for us.

  I’m so grateful she gave me the chance to hold her again, but it was so hard being next to her all night. I want nothing more than to make her mine. But I know I shouldn’t; she’s dealing with a lot, and still I know the truth, I have to let her go. I told her last night I loved her and always will, and it’s true. I do, but loving and having are two different things. I gave her up years ago for a reason, and today those reasons still stand, more so now. The man I’ve become is not the man she once loved. I don’t think I can show her the real me now. It would only frighten her.

  I decide I’ll still keep an eye on her, but I need to forget about my love for her. I shower and dress, making it downstairs in time for breakfast. Mom and Vin are already seated, and then Zander, Gabriel, Fallon, and Avery soon come in. We’re all seated when Mom brings up last night’s activities.

  “Avery, I spoke with your mother first thing this morning. She is grateful for our help last night and with us keeping you safe. She promises to keep last night’s events a secret. She asked if we would continue to watch over you for the time being. You are to stay here until the case in Adam’s death is closed. Once it’s all over and you and your mother are no longer regarded as suspects, you are free to do whatever you would like. Is all this all right with you?”

  Avery answers, “Yes, but how can you trust she won’t tell anyone about what really happened last night? I don’t want any of you to suffer for helping her.”

  My mother and Gabriel give each other knowing looks, and Mom answers her, “Avery, your mother will never speak of it with anyone. One because she doesn’t want to cross my family. Two because your mother understands the concept of loyalty, and she acknowledges that some things cannot be handled the legal way.”

  I ask, “What do you mean, Mom?”

  “Avery’s family has not always been on the right side of the law. Margaret’s family money came from her great-grandfather, who ran the south’s largest bootlegging operation.”

  “What? No, that can’t be?” Avery gasps.

  “But it’s true, Avery. Your grandfather ran the organization, but it was your grandmother who was shrewd. She wanted a better life for her children, so she took all that money and bought land, a lot of land, and she grew this city. Your family became legitimate after prohibition, thanks to your grandmother’s thinking. But your family legacy still started with blood and pain.” Mom turns toward me now. “You see, Liam, some things are possible. It all takes time.”

  I know what she’s referring to. I don’t know how, but somehow she knows why I gave up Avery.

  I stand and try to excuse myself from the table, but my mom is quick to ask, “Where are you going, Liam?”

  “I think it’s time I go home, Mom. I think you have a handle on things from here on out. Besides, I’m starting to miss home. Gabriel, Zander, I will see you two at work.”

  I walk out, not saying anything else. I didn’t want to see Avery’s face when I said I was leaving, and I didn’t want my mother to try to convince me to stay. Me leaving is for the best.

  I go home and change my clothes for work. Once I’m at work, I finally start to relax. Leaving this morning was hard, but it needed to be done, putting some distance between us is the only thing that will help. A couple of hours go by, then Zander and Gabriel come into my office.

  “Hey, loser,” Zander hollers out.

  I return the favor. “Hey, asshole.”

  Gabriel sits first. “All right, you two, stop. That’s not why we’re here.”

  I ask, “Then why are you two here?”

  “Because we wanted to know if that’s it? Are you just going to let her get away?”

  Zander pipes in, “Yeah, you’re just giving up? I mean, come on, brother, what are you going to do when she finds someone else?”

  I don’t know what I would do. I never really gave it much thought.

  “You two can go fuck yourselves. I’m not what she wants or needs. I guess if she finds someone else, then so be it. She deserves better than me. That’s for sure.”

  “When did your balls shrivel up and die?” Zander politely asks.

  “Leave me alone, both of you. I know what I’m doing. Just mind your own business. Now if you both would leave so I can get back to work, I’d appreciate it.”

  Gabriel stands first. “I love you, Liam, but you’re making the second biggest mistake of your life. The first was letting her go at all. Now you’re pissing your love away again. Maybe you’re right; she does deserve better than you.”

  They both leave, and fuck if Gabriel’s words didn’t strum a chord with me. But I know I’m right, in life we don’t get do-overs. I made my decision a long time ago, and it still stands today.

  36

  Avery

  The day after Adam’s murder, the police spoke with me, questioning my whereabouts and asking for my alibi. Most of the guest were questioned and verified they saw me dance the night away. They immediately ruled me out as a suspect. My mother was ruled out, too. She played the part of a distraught and loving wife to the tee.

  Weeks go by slowly, and I find myself getting stronger and stronger, so much so that I leave the house now. I usually have Fallon with me, but hey, it’s something. We spend a great deal of time together, and I love it. Fallon’s right at her eighth month into her pregnancy and is still gorgeous, no matter what she says.

  I’ve also continued my training with Vin and Zander. But I haven’t seen Liam since he left. I guess it’s for the best, but I can’t help it, part of me misses him.

  It’s not official yet, but we have heard word that the case should be closed soon. Since they have no suspects and no more information coming forth, they are going to mark it as a burglary gone bad. They, however, have one more angle to investigate. They heard rumors of Adams debts, but they won’t find anything. My mother and Catherine took care of that. They covered every aspect they could find. So, there would be no chance for a scandal. Mom buried Adam, but nowhere near my father. She did what she had to do to make everything seem believable, and I played my part, too. At the funeral, I thought I felt Liam nearby but never saw any trace of him. Maybe it was just wishful thinking.

  Mom and I have even talked a little. She continues to beg for my forgiveness and promises things will be better from now on. I agreed to try, simply because I was surprised that she admitted to her wrongdoing. She claims she realizes what she did to me but at the time she believed Adam only had my best interest at heart. What a load of shit. But she’s my mother, and if she’s willing to try, so am I.

  Surprising me the most is how much Catherine and my mom have gotten along. At one time, they both pushed me into a corner, inquiring about Liam and me. Once I explain that there isn’t going to be an us, they finally chose to leave it alone. I have a feeling they will try again. I overheard the end to one of their phone conversations, and it was about us. I can’t imagine what they could be planning. But it won’t work.

  Mom gave me my cell phone the other day. I look at it in my hand, it feels so weird to have it now. I haven’t had one since the night I was taken. She told me Phil and Lucy have been calling nonstop. I haven’t called them back yet, but I need to. I’m just scared; I’m not sure how well I can fool them. The last time they called, Mom told them I had been on vacation and now I was staying with friends. She told them about Adam but told them we were both fine. I stare at my phone, almost willing it to ring. That’s the only way I think I can speak to them; I don’t have the courage to call them.

  Tonight, we are supposed to have a family dinner
at the casino. So, I start to take my shower when suddenly my phone rings. I’m startled when I see it’s Phil.

  I answer, “Hello.”

  “Hello? That’s what I get? That shit’s not going to fly, girl, you are impossible. Don’t you ever do that again. You had me and Lucy scared to death. Since when do you take off like that? Your mom said you just left. What happened? And then tell me what happened with the break-in?”

  “Phil, slow down. I missed you, too.”

  “Avery, I was seriously going crazy.”

  “I know. Listen, let me shut my water off and then we can talk, okay?”

  “Avery, were you about to take a shower?”

  “Yes.”

  “So, you’re naked?”

  I can’t help it. I laugh out loud; it’s the first hard laugh I’ve had in a while. “Yes, Phil, I’m naked.”

  He’s quiet, so I ask, “Are you still there?”

  “Yes, I’m here. I was just picturing you.”

  “Oh my God, Phil, stop it.”

  “One day, Avery, you won’t ask me to stop.”

  My mouth dries, and I start to feel something I haven’t felt in a long time, desire. But how and why? It’s not a strong feeling, but it’s there. Is it possible I do care for Phil?

  “Avery, are you there?”

  “Yes, Phil, I’m sorry. I just zoned out for a minute.”

  “I understand. I have that kind of power over a lot of women.”

  He has me laughing again. “I remember. Would you like to talk about your nice ass, or would you like to talk about what’s been happening?”

  “I’d love to talk about my ass with you, but I’d much rather show you. All right, enough of that. What has been going on so I can tell Lucy you’re fine?”

  “Where is Lucy?”

  “Oh shit, I forgot you don’t know. Lucy had to have her appendix removed. I was with her at the hospital, but afterward she took a flight and went home to recover. She’s fine, though, still a pain in my ass.”

  “Oh God, I missed being there for her. I’m going to call as soon as I can.”

  “Look, Avery, I’m going home in a week, and I would like to see you if that’s all right? I figure I’ll spend a week with my family, then I’ll drive down to spend some time with you. What do you think?”

  I miss him so much, but I’m scared he will see right through me. But I have no choice, I have to act like everything is normal.

  “I’d love that, Phil. I’ll text you the address to where I’m staying. I’m sure they won’t have a problem with you being here. I can’t wait.”

  I think I sound believable, but inside I’m cringing. We stay on the phone for nearly an hour. I tell him all my rehearsed lies, and he seems to buy them. By the end of the conversation, we make definite plans. I only have about two more weeks to get prepared for his arrival.

  “Shit!”

  I’m running late. Catherine will be expecting me to be ready to leave in an hour. I hurry taking my shower. I make the world’s record for the fastest time to get dressed. But if I do say so myself, I Iook good, really good. I’m wearing a flirty royal blue dress. The dress exposes my sides and hints to reveal my side breasts. Yes, it’s sexy, and I love it. With my heels and purse in hand, I run down the stairs just in time to meet Catherine and Fallon in the foyer.

  We all head out of the house and meet Vin. With a kiss from all of us, he opens the back door and drives to the casino.

  This is my first visit to the family’s casino. It’s beautiful, rich in colors and the noise is exhilarating. Catherine gains my attention by saying, “Avery, before we go meet the boys, I have someone I’d like you to meet.”

  I agree, and she walks me and Fallon to the left side of the casino. She takes us through some hanging deep red curtains. I’m surprised to see it’s a nearly finished restaurant.

  “Avery, I’d like you to meet our partner and chef, Todd Acosta.” She turns to the man and says, “This is my daughter-in-law, Fallon Stern, and this is the girl I was talking to you about, Avery Edwards.”

  “I’m sorry, you were discussing me?”

  The man eyes me up and down and says, “You were right, she would be perfect for the shoot.”

  “Excuse me, what shoot?”

  Catherine smiles and says, “Avery, Todd and I are partners in this new restaurant. We have been looking for the perfect girl as the model and face of the restaurant. We think you would be perfect.”

  Fallon gets so excited at the idea, but I’m not.

  “No, I’m sorry, but I’m not a model and I don’t think I can do that.”

  Catherine shakes her head. “Avery, you can. If I didn’t think you were perfect for it, I wouldn’t have brought it up. Think it over and let us know. You have a few days to decide.”

  We say our goodbyes and head towards the middle of the casino. I take in all the sights, the flashing lights and the people jumping up and down with excitement. I can easily see how all this could be addictive. We reach the restaurant we’re going to eat in and quickly see Vin, Zander, Gabriel, and Liam. They all stand and pull out our chairs for us. We all sit and make our orders.

  The conversation starts out with us talking about Fallon’s pregnancy. It won’t be long now before we have a bouncing baby boy in the family. I mean, their family. I don’t know what I mean. I feel so close to all of them, like I am part of the family, but I know I’m not and never will be. Even though no matter what, I will love that baby.

  I start to speak low, facing Catherine. “I hope this won’t be an inconvenience, but I have a friend who would like to visit in two weeks, if that’s all right with you?”

  I guess Catherine decides our conversation shouldn’t be private because she says loud enough for everyone to hear, “Avery, you are more than welcome to have anyone you’d like to come. I have enough spare bedrooms to accommodate them. Oh wait, how many are we talking?”

  I clear my throat. “Just one, my friend, Phil.”

  Catherine smiles. “That’s the nice boy you were telling me about, isn’t it?”

  “Yes, it is. He would like to come in two weeks.”

  “Well, that would be lovely, dear. I know your mother would love to meet him.”

  Gabriel interrupts, “Who is this guy?”

  Before I can say anything, Catherine answers, “It’s a gentleman who has been after Avery for quite a while now.”

  This is the first time I look over, and Liam is looking at me. I feel uneasy talking about another man in front of him. He looks to be bothered also.

  Our food comes out, and Gabriel and Fallon decide to change the conversation. Gabriel is holding Fallon’s hand, and she asks, “Avery, we would like it if you were our son’s godmother.”

  My hands fly to my mouth in joy. “Oh, Fallon, really? I would love to. Are you both sure? I mean, I’m not family?”

  In the south, people usually pick from a family member first, but I guess they asked me because neither one has a sister.

  Gabriel answers, “Avery, you are family.”

  I jump up and hug both of them. “I would love to be his godmother. Thank you. You’ll see I’ll be the best nanny ever to him, I can’t wait to spoil him rotten.”

  Liam

  Vin comes into Gabriel’s office and tells us the ladies are here and they will meet us in the restaurant. We all gather and walk together. When we arrive, they still aren’t here, so we order a drink and take our seats. We bullshit for a few minutes and then notice my mother walk in first. All eyes in the restaurant turn to look her way. All eyes are always on my mother; she’s just that kind of woman. She demands attention. Even if she wasn’t still one of the most beautiful women most men have ever seen, she remains the woman to watch.

  Now the two women behind her, they are exactly like that in their own right. The three most beautiful women in New Orleans walking straight towards our table. Any man would kill to be at our table, and the looks we are receiving just proves my point.

&nbs
p; I haven’t seen Avery in about a couple of weeks, and it has been killing me. She looks just as beautiful as always. The new Avery is bolder with the way she dresses, but it’s still her, and I would take her any way she looked. I need to control myself; all I want to do is throw myself at her and ravage her like a beast. I’m so screwed.

  We all stand like gentlemen and help the ladies sit, then we follow suit. Our conversation starts off well, we are having fun talking about our newest members arrival. Fallon is so scared of the birth, and Mom is trying to convince her all women go through it and that she will be just fine. I see Avery talking low to my mother. Then Mom decides to let us all in on their conversation by saying her friend was more than welcome. What friend? I don’t remember anyone mentioning she had a friend. I mean, of course she has friends, but I’ve never seen or heard of one. Mom asked who is coming, and she mentions a guy named Phil. Who the fuck is Phil? Thank God Gabriel asks before I demanded to know. The problem now is Mom says he’s some asshole who has been after her. For the first time tonight, I can’t help looking straight at her. I don’t know what’s going on or who this guy is, but if he thinks he’s going to come here and fuck with her, he has another thing coming.

  Gabriel notices my agitation. “Liam, he’s probably nothing. I mean, if he hasn’t gotten her by now, then he’s probably an ugly little fucker.”

  He’s probably right, I have nothing to worry about. I start to breathe easier and say, “It’s none of my business. She can date whoever she likes.”

  “Sure, she can. You keep telling yourself that, Liam.”

  Our food comes, and Gabriel begins to change the subject, he and Fallon ask Avery to be the godmother of their baby boy. What the hell? He tells her she’s family, and as much as I wish she were, the idea is for her not to be. I’m trying to free her, and my family opens the door and invites her right on in. Don’t they understand she shouldn’t be connected to us?