“Look at me, Avery.”
After a few seconds, I do. I look at him and ask, “I want you to make love to me.”
He closes his eyes, then opens them with a look I remember. He leans down and kisses me softly on my lips, just a small kiss, a peck, really, but it’s enough to make me want more.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
He then kisses me again, this time with more urgency. I feel his arms go around me slowly. The heat of his body sends a warmth throughout mine. He continues to kiss me, never letting either one of us up for air. My arms naturally move up and around his neck. The way he’s using his tongue in my mouth is reminding me of other things he used to do. A low moan escapes my mouth, and then I feel his hands start to slide over my body. My eyes are closed, and I’m enjoying it until I feel his hand slip under my gown. Panic starts to set in, and I push him away and scream out, “Stop, stop, I can’t.” I take another step back and see the pain and confusion in Liam’s eyes.
“I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m sorry.”
I run out of the room as fast as I can.
Liam
What the hell just happened? I should have figured she wasn’t ready for something like this. But my stupid ass just saw what I wanted. She watched me all day, but I never imagined she wanted me. I fucked up. Damn. I need to fix this. She asked me for help, and I’m going to give it to her. I just need to forget about myself and let her take control.
I walk across to her room and open the door without knocking. Avery’s sitting on the bed crying. She hears me close the door and looks up at me. She looks so beautiful and lost. I’m the only man who has ever touched her with her consent, so it figures that she would come to me for help. I can’t let her down.
“Avery, it’s my fault. I went too fast. Please, we can try again?”
“No, Liam. Can you just leave, please?”
“Avery, tell me what you want?”
She stands and cries out, “I just want to feel again, Liam. I want to feel whole again. I don’t know, I want to feel like a woman. You were the only one to ever make me feel something, and I need to know I can still feel that way. I don’t want to go on knowing the senator was the last man to touch me. I wanted you to take away his touch.” She’s crying harder now. “Liam, please help me to forget, I need to forget his touch and his body over me. I can’t go on like this.”
I grab her face and tell her, “I will, baby. I’ll help you forget everything about him. I promise. You just need to trust me, okay? Can you do that?”
“I’ve always trusted you, Liam, even as I hated you.”
“Good, come on.”
I find her silk robe draped over the chair. I pull the rope out of the loops, then I grab Avery’s hands and lead her to the bed.
“Avery, dry your eyes, baby. I want you to take this rope and tie my hands to the bed rails.”
“What? No, Liam. I don’t want to tie you up. What kind of stuff are you into?”
I can’t help laughing. “We’ll leave that for another discussion. I want you to tie me to the bed so you can take control. You can take your time and make your own pace. You don’t have to worry about my hands roaming your body. You will be in complete control, and you will have all the power. I think it could help.”
“I don’t know about this, Liam.” She’s looking at the rope, then looks at me. “Are you sure?”
“Baby, I’m sure. You can do anything you want to me.”
She seems to enjoy that idea. I lie on the bed and put my arms up with my hands close together so Avery can tie me up. She does, but I can tell it’s not a strong knot. I’ll have to just hold on to the headboard so I don’t come loose.
“Now what?”
“Avery, come on. You might not be that experienced, but I do remember you a lot more forward than this. Do what you want to, follow your instincts. Whatever you want, Avery, take it.”
She nods her head and climbs into the bed with me. She’s kneeling on the side of me, looking scared.
“Avery, kiss me.”
She does. She leans over me and kisses me as I kiss her back. I know I need to keep her mind on me.
“I always loved the way you kissed me. No one has ever come close to you.”
“I loved kissing you, too.”
“Then don’t stop, baby, kiss me.”
She does. We continue to kiss for a long time, then I feel her hand on my bare chest. I need her to keep going, so I decide I need to start guiding her. She’s too shy right now to just take what she wants.
“Baby, touch me, don’t be scared, I can’t move.”
She sits back on her knees and stares at my body. She takes her hands and lays them on me. I instantly feel like my skin is on fire. I close my eyes and enjoy her touch. She slides her hands now up and down. I feel her move, and I can feel her hands start at my ankles and move their way up my legs. If she only knew what she was doing to me. I know she can see the bulge in my briefs. Shit, I should have removed them before I laid down.
“Avery, remove them.”
She understands what I mean because she stops and looks straight at my briefs. Come on, baby, you can do it. She slowly takes her hands and rubs them over me. Damn. Then she starts to remove the only piece of material I have on. I lift my hips to help, and my dick bounces free. I kick my briefs off the rest of the way. I hear her giggle, and it catches me off guard.
“What?”
“I was just thinking how I used to make fun of how you thought you were so large. I haven’t seen that many, but I can tell you that you’re not average.”
“I told you. Is that a good sign?”
“I don’t know yet.”
“Well, then find out. Come here, kiss me again.”
She leans down to my lips and kisses me deeper now with more hunger than before. It’s taking everything I have not to touch her.
She surprises me by lifting up to remove her panties. What I wouldn’t give to rip them off. She comes back for another kiss and then lifts her leg over me. Now straddling me. I can feel the warmth of her pussy on my dick. I push up and catch her off guard.
“You’re not ready to take me, Avery. I want you to enjoy yourself. I need you to rub yourself over me, gently.”
She closes her eyes and starts; her rhythm is shaky.
“Baby, you might need to touch yourself, you have to be prepared to get any enjoyment out of it.”
“I don’t know how, Liam.”
“Yes, you do, show me. Don’t be shy, Avery, not with me. I remember the way you craved me. You might not have let another man touch you, but I can bet you’ve touched yourself before. I do all the time thinking of you.”
She looks into my eyes and keeps them there. I can feel her hand going between us. I feel her starting to slide over me in more of an even pace. I keep the eye contact. But it’s so hard. If she doesn’t get me inside her soon, I’m going to cum just from this.
Feeling her slickness, I push up with my hips. I can feel her entrance, so I guide myself to where I need to be. With just inserting the head, her eyes start to close. That’s it, baby, enjoy. I start to push further in until I feel her sit more onto me. She’s starting to get me where I need to be, so I stop my movements and let her finish settling herself on me. Fuck, she’s perfect. I let out a groan I didn’t mean to escape, and she becomes still.
“Don’t stop, you can do this. It’s me, Avery, only me. Look at me.”
She does, and I start to feel her move again. But now I see tears in her eyes.
“I can’t, Liam, please, I can’t. I don’t feel anything.”
Fuck that. I pull my hands out of the rope and grab her hips. “Avery, do you trust me?”
She continues to cry. “I’m sorry, Liam, I can’t.”
“Look at me, tell me you trust me.”
She nods her head.
“I got you, baby, just keep your eyes on me. I’m going to make you feel good. I’m going to show you the way a man should
treat his woman. All you have to do is look at me, don’t close your eyes, Avery, I want you to know it’s me the whole time.”
She does as I say. She locks her eyes on me as I start to move underneath her. I’m holding her hips and showing her how to grind against me. I then take my hand and open her folds so I can rub her clit. Her eyes flutter. “Look at me, baby.”
She opens them now and looks back at me. I continue to manipulate her clit while she begins to move on her own. Oh, fuck yes. I need her to cum before I explode. I start moving my thumb fast on her and pinch. “Cum for me, Avery.”
She shouts out my name, and it’s the sweetest sound I ever heard. I stop in my movements and let her finish trembling. She calms, and I can’t take any more. I need to taste her. I rise up with her and lay over her. Before she can say anything, I lower my body down. I push her legs further open and bury my face in her juices. I grab her hands and lace our fingers as I eat her pussy. I missed this so much, her taste and smell. I increase my pace, and she comes undone again as she squeezes the shit out of my hands. While her body is still convulsing, I climb back over her. With her hands still in mine, I raise them above her head and keep holding them. I look her straight in her eyes and push in. I’ve never felt this way with anyone. I pump into her over and over as we keep eye contact. I feel her pussy walls tighten against me. Damn, she’s killing me.
“Do you feel me, Avery?”
She nods.
“I’ve always loved you. Oh God, Avery, you’re perfect.”
I begin to cum, and then I feel her tightening and convulsing as she cums again with me.
I fall on top of her, being careful not to put all my weight on her. She’s crying again, and I can feel her body start to shake with tears. I’m still inside her, so I slip out and look down at her.
“Avery, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”
“No Liam, I loved it. I didn’t know it could feel like that.”
“Baby, don’t cry.”
“I’m happy, Liam. All those years of not knowing.”
“Knowing what?”
“How it would feel with you. You never wanted me like this.”
“I always wanted you like this, baby. I just couldn’t take you the way I wanted. Not then.”
I roll off and lay on my side and start kissing her tears away. Once she’s calm, she turns her back to me. After a few minutes, she says, “You know this changes nothing. I still hate you, Liam.”
It’s a fucking dagger to my heart. “Yes, I know.”
“Thank you for what you did, but I think you need to leave now.”
I’m being fucking dismissed. I understand, though, she hasn’t forgiven me for what I did to her. She needed me, and I was here; that’s all that’s important. I push off the bed and put my boxer briefs back on. Without looking back, I leave the room. Once I close the door, I hear her let out in a large sob. I stand there outside her door, and all I want to do is go back in and tell her the truth, but I can’t.
39
Avery
I cried myself to sleep last night. I wake, though, feeling lighter, the sun even seems brighter. Liam felt so good last night, I can’t help thinking of him. He was patient and yet took charge when he knew I couldn’t. He made me almost feel whole. I never knew I could feel something sexual again. Being captured then raped was disgusting, it had nothing to do with the way Liam made me feel. Those men were nothing but weak, scared little boys trying to find their sick thrills. I almost feel sorry for them. I wonder if they ever felt anything like what I felt last night. If they ever enjoyed the pleasure of having a connection with someone. You know what? I don’t even care. I hope they never did. Liam opened my eyes to so much more, and now I’m never closing them again. Watch out, life, here I come.
I shower and change into workout gear. Today I have an appointment with Zander, but beforehand I want to find Catherine and let her know I’ve decided to do the shoot for the restaurant.
I walk into the dining room. Only Catherine and Fallon are there. I grab a quick bagel and say, “Catherine, I wanted to let you know I’ll do the shoot. When do you want me and where?”
“Wow, someone has a pep in her step this morning,” Catherine notices.
Fallon gives me a knowing look. “Yes, she does, doesn’t she? I wonder why?”
I give her the shut-up look, which she completely understands.
“Well, Avery, I think tomorrow I can get everything set up. I will have Bridgette’s crew to come back and get you ready. I think the photo shoot will be here. You should feel more comfortable with that.”
“Okay, thank you. I have to run, I’m meeting Zander in the gym. Bye.”
As scheduled, Zander is already waiting for me.
“Hey, big boy, you ready for me?”
“Hey, kid, bring it on.”
He helps me with my gloves, then helps me in the ring. We start with a little one on one hitting; well, I hit and he takes them or blocks them. There’s not really any damage I can cause to a man his size. Mainly, he just laughs at me.
I keep throwing punches, and not one lands on him. He even picks me up a few times. This time I’m over his shoulders, and I start punching his back.
“All right, All right. You’re like a little chihuahua; all bark, and no bite. You sure don’t know when to quit. I’ll put you down when you stop.”
“Okay, fine, put me down.”
He does, but the laughter continues. “You look different today, what’s going on?”
“Nothing’s going on. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Well, you look happier and lighter. You just blushed...wait a minute, did you get laid?”
I start shaking my head. “What? No, don’t be silly. Besides, who would I do that with?”
“You did, Avery. You little fucking liar, you had sex. Oh my God, it was Liam, wasn’t it? Oh shit, I can’t wait to rag his ass out. I knew he couldn’t hold out much longer.” He lays his arm over my shoulder. “This is going to be good. Man, was it that good? You’re glowing.”
Zander won’t shut up, so I take a cheap shot and knee his privates. My knee starts throbbing, and Zander stands and laughs more.
“Shit, Zander, is your dick made of steel?”
He bangs his chest with his fist and says, “I strong like bull,” then pulls out a protective guard from his shorts.
“You really didn’t think I knew that was eventually going to happen? My mother always taught me to protect the family jewels, especially because I plan on having lots of sons.”
“What’s wrong with daughters?”
He looks at me, baffled. “Are you crazy? I can’t have daughters. Have you seen me? I’m built to have sons. Plus, girls would just put me in prison, and I can’t go to prison. I’m to be shared and looked at. But seriously, I really can’t have girls. I would kill anyone who looked at them, and I mean anyone.”
He removes his gloves then tells me. “Come on, chihuahua, let’s go. I’m getting tired of you looking so happy in front of me. Oh, and kid, I won’t say anything to Mom. If she knew, you two would already be married. It won’t be long anyway, though.”
“It’s not like that.”
“Sure, it’s not.”
“I’m starting to hate you. I hope you know that?”
“No, you don’t. You love me; you hate Liam, remember?”
He walks out of the gym, laughing all the way. It’s not like that. Liam just helped me, and it’s done now. I can move on now, maybe with Phil?
40
Liam
I don’t know why I did that last night. I should have never touched her. Now I can’t quit wanting to touch her again. I know she hates me, but damn it, I don’t care. I left early this morning just to avoid her. Now that I’ve had her, how do I go about living with her like nothing happened?
When I get to work, I start drowning myself in anything I can find to get my mind off Avery. I don’t know how Gabriel managed to do this for so long all
by himself. Hours go by as I continue to drown in work.
Zander comes strolling in, right as I’m meeting Gabriel for lunch. We all sit and start eating. I look up and see Zander staring at me with a big shit-eating grin on his face.
“What the hell, man? Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”
“I’m sitting here waiting for you to crack.”
“Crack what?”
“The truth. Come on, Liam, your big brothers want to know all about your night.”
“You son-of-a-bitch, how do you know?”
Gabriel looks like he’s watching a tennis match. “Know what?”
Zander crosses his hands behind his head and leans back into his chair. “Tell him, Liam. We all what to hear how you managed to sleep with Avery.”
“What? You didn’t, Liam?”
“What is that supposed to mean, Gabriel?”
“I mean, was she ready? And how? I thought she hates you?”
“She does hate me, but she came to my room last night and asked me to help her.” I clear my throat. “She said she wanted to forget that the senator was the last one to touch her. She asked me to take that feeling away. How was I supposed to say no?”
Zander’s still sitting back, and Gabriel’s silent for a second, then he says, “Man, I don’t know, how did it go?”
“Really, Gabriel? You want me to kiss and tell?”
Zander jumps in, “Yes.”
Gabriel tells him, “Shut up.” He then addresses me. “I don’t mean every step. I meant how were able to get her to relax enough? They say rape victims have a hard time with being touched for quite some time.”
“At first I moved too fast, but shit, she felt so good. She cried and pushed me away, then ran off, saying she couldn’t. Well, I followed her. I saw how much she needed to be free of him, so I allowed her to tie me up and take control. I let her do what she wanted.”
“Oh fuck, that’s good.”
“Shut up, Zander.”
Zander says, “I’m just saying, I don’t think I could ever let a woman tie me up.”
“Yeah, well, it’s not like she knew how to tie it right; my hands were free the whole time. You know how hard it was not to touch her?”
Art of Forgiveness Page 19
