“Your hands were up the whole time?” Zander questions.
“No, eventually I had to help her. Shit, that’s enough.”
Gabriel now asks, “So, what now?”
“Now, nothing. She told me she still hated me and asked me to leave.”
Zander shakes his head. “Oh, man, that’s cold. It had to hurt.”
“Yeah, it did. Now I don’t know what to do. Every time I’m going to see her, I’m going to want her.”
Gabriel says, “I don’t know. I know once I had Fallon, there was no going back.”
“I don’t know why I talk to either of you. Don’t y’all have any suggestions?”
Gabriel asks, “Well, do you want her now as part of the family or what?”
“No, I don’t think I can involve her more than she is already. The only thing that helps is that she still has no clue what we actually do.”
Gabriel shrugs his shoulders. “Fallon knows, and she’s fine with it.”
“Yeah, but Fallon was made for you. Avery’s not like us, she wouldn’t want to be tied to this kind of life. I can’t do that to her. She needs to live a good life on the right side of the law. If she knew half the shit we do, it would scare her too much.”
Gabriel states, “I don’t know, Liam. Avery is pretty resilient. She handled way more than most women, and she’s still standing.”
“That’s even more reason not to give her any more shit to deal with.”
Zander pipes in, “Well, you shouldn’t have to worry about it much longer. She has a friend coming.”
I laugh. “Well, like Gabriel said, he’s probably nothing. I mean, if she didn’t want him before, he can’t be shit. Can you imagine some poor little guy begging for her attention? He probably can’t get any woman, and Avery’s so nice, she might not be able to tell him she’s not interested.”
“Maybe so? All right, guys, I gotta go.” Zander stands.
Gabriel asks, “Zander, before you go, any news on Murphy Larussa? How’s he holding up?”
“Not well, Gabriel. It really is sad. I’ll let you know when I find out more.”
I know my brother. Gabriel will not push Murphy on the debt he owes us. He’ll wait till after he has passed away to make a move on Murphy’s casino.
Gabriel and I finish eating and return to work.
41
Avery
Fallon catches me in the hall. “Come here.” She drags me into her room and begins to interrogate me. “Okay, spill. I want to know everything.”
There’s no sense in denying it, so I tell her everything. She sits and looks thrilled at what I’m telling her. Once I finish, she stands and hugs me.
“I’m so happy for you. I knew you could do it. Now, what about Liam?”
“I don’t know. What about Liam?”
“I mean, what are you going to do now?”
“Nothing. I told him I hated him, and I still do.”
“If I were you, I would ride that train as far as he will go.”
I laugh. “What? You’re crazy!”
“Okay, whatever you say, but I think you’re going to need more.”
“I can’t, Fallon. It wouldn’t be right to use him like that.”
“Was it right what he did to you when you loved him?”
“No, it wasn’t.”
“Then why do you care if you use him a little? I mean, you don’t care about him, right? You say you hate him after all.”
Is she right? Can I use Liam for a little while until I’m more confident with myself?
“I’ll think about it.”
“You do that.”
I kiss her on the cheek to leave and walk to my room. I need to get ready for tonight’s dinner. One shower later, and I’m still driving myself nuts over what to do. Screw it, I need to quit worrying about it. He might not even want to do it again, so I could be worrying for nothing.
At dinner, everyone is pretty quiet. I see eyes going back and forth between me and Liam. Does everyone know? I can’t believe it. Is nothing secret in this house?
After dinner, we all go into the living room and have a few drinks. I’m not used to drinking, so it doesn’t take many to make me feel good. I’m not drunk, but I do feel way more relaxed. Fallon starts to make fun of me. I can’t wait till she has that baby so she can drink; I bet she would be fun.
We all decide it’s late, so we retire for the night. I go to my room and decide I’m going to make another move. I look through my drawers at all the sexy lingerie Catherine and Fallon picked out for me. Before, I didn’t know what I was going to do with all of them, but now I’m glad I have them. I pick a black matching bra and thong. I eye myself in the mirror with my lingerie on, thinking about how far I’ve come and I love it.
I don’t knock this time on Liam’s door. I just walk in and realize he’s in the shower. I take my robe off, laying it on a chair. Then I stand there nervously waiting for him to finish his shower and come into the room. The longer I wait, the more nervous I get. I decide to put the robe back on, but as I start, I hear Liam’s voice,
“Avery?”
I turn with my robe in my hands. He’s standing in-between the door frame, still wet from his shower in nothing but a towel wrapped around his lower half. I have to swallow from how bad I want him.
“What are you doing here?”
I shrug my shoulders. “I thought you could help me again?”
He says nothing; just continues to look at me.
I put my robe on and say, “I’m sorry, this was a bad idea. I just thought you were still willing to keep helping me.”
He walks over to me and stops me from moving. “Avery, I didn’t know you still wanted my help.” Then he says, “I don’t know if I can…”
“It’s all right, I understand, you don’t want to. That’s fine. Again, I’m sorry I bothered you.”
“Stop, Avery, that’s not what I meant. I was going to say I don’t know if I can control myself anymore. I need free reign to touch you.”
I take pause at what he’s saying. He wants to touch me, he’s asking for more control. I can try that.
“Then touch me, Liam.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I need you to.”
He unhooks the towel from his hip and lets it fall to the floor. He then slowly removes my robe from my shoulders, and it also falls to the floor. He looks down at my body and then back to my eyes.
“You’re so beautiful, Avery.”
“Show me how beautiful I am.”
He holds my face and kisses my lips soft and sweet. My eyes close, and he kisses me again. His tongue plays with my lips, begging them to open. I follow his lead, opening my mouth for him, and our tongues begin to dance together. It’s so soft and slow. I feel like I’m in a trance.
In a husky voice, he asks, “What do you want, baby?”
“I need you to make me feel again, I want you—”
He doesn’t let me finish, shutting my words down with another kiss. He pulls my body closer to his. My fingers begin to trail up his arms around his neck; his body is so warm. He begins to walk backward to the bed, and we fall together onto it with me on top of him. Still kissing, his hands start roaming my body.
“Sit up, baby.”
I do. I’m now straddling him, and I feel him hard under me and his eyes slowly scanning over my body.
“Take your bra off.” I bend my arms back and remove my bra. He sits up and wraps his arms around me and holds me tight to his chest. He doesn’t say anything as he holds me in his arms, and then I hear him say in my ear, “I’m going to love every part of your body like you deserve. Lay down.”
He loosens his hold on me, and I slide off him and start to lay back.
“Lay on your stomach.”
I look at him, and I guess he sees my nerves coming through. “Trust me, Avery.”
I do trust him, so I reposition my body and lay on my stomach like he asked.
“Close your eyes, baby, an
d enjoy. I’ll make you feel good, I promise.”
I close my eyes a little too tight. I might have come a long way with sleeping with him last night, but I still have a long road to go. It will take some time for me to feel completely confident sexually, but that’s what Liam’s for. I trust him enough to know he will not judge my hesitance. He’ll be gentle and slow enough for me to get comfortable.
“Your body is perfect, Avery.”
I start to feel his hands on me. He begins massaging my legs and slowly moves up from there. I feel his lips on my skin, his kisses following his hands. It feels so good. I let out a moan of satisfaction. My body starts to loosen, my muscles begin to relax. He’s taking his time, and I’m enjoying every single second of it.
He skims right over my ass and goes straight to my waist, traveling across my back all the way up my neck. Time stands still, and his kisses end at my neck.
“I love every inch of you. Are you here with me? Remember, Avery, I have you, and you’re safe with me.”
It’s exactly what I needed to hear, and he knew it. That’s why I need him right now.
He starts to kiss his way back down my body, and it’s making me feel a tingling sensation between my legs. I start to writhe under him.
He whispers out, “Slow down, baby, not yet.”
I feel his hands kneading my ass cheeks. God, my want for him increases.
I whisper, “Liam, please.”
He slowly slides my thong down my legs, and I start to turn. But he puts a hand on me. “No.” I stop abruptly and lay back down. I start to feel his breath on my waist and his lips and tongue slide further down. “Liam.”
“Spread your legs for me, Avery.”
I do and feel his tongue between the crack of my ass...oh my God. Then his finger follows. His finger slides down to my clit, and I feel his slow movements rubbing me from the top of my clit to my entrance.
“You’re wet, Avery, do you know that?”
I say nothing, but I did know. I raise my ass off the bed slightly as he continues to manipulate my clit. He pushes a finger into me, and fuck, it feels so good. Then I feel another finger enter and stretch me more. I can’t believe he can make me feel this way.
“Oh, shit.”
I feel his tongue. He’s eating me out from behind, and God, I don’t want him to stop. It doesn’t take long, though, between his tongue and fingers for me to come undone. My body starts to shake, and I cum hard.
When I finish, I feel his fingers slide out of me and I immediately want them back.
“Turn around.”
I do, and he’s looking at me while he’s stroking his hard dick.
“I want you to see me, don’t look away. I want you to watch as I make love to you.”
He lies on top of me and guides himself to my entrance. He pushes in slow just a little, then backs out. He repeats the action again, but the next time he slams into me, making my back arch off the bed.
He doesn’t go slow anymore. “I can’t, Avery. I need you too much, baby. Tell me to stop.”
I can’t. I need him to keep doing what he’s doing to me. I wrap my arms around him, pulling him down, and I kiss him hard and needy, hoping he’ll see I need this just as much.
“Don’t stop, Liam. Please don’t stop.”
I hear him growl, and his movements get stronger and faster. I can’t help it. I start moaning and panting. He lifts my legs higher, “Oh God,” I scream, “Liam.” He doesn’t stop. He keeps up his fast pace, then grabs one side of my ass, lifting up. I slam my hand down on his back as I cum again. This time, he calls out my name as he fills me with his warm cum.
We both lie there, panting and trying to slow our breathing. He grabs my hands and squeezes. I roll to the side and lay my head on his chest.
“Thank you, Liam.”
He lets out a small chuckle. “You’re thanking me? I think I should be the one thanking you.”
“Yes, I’m thanking you because you’re making me whole again. I know this has to be hard for you. I trust you, Liam. I might hate you, but for some reason you’re the only one I truly trust.”
He kisses my head. “I don’t want you hating me anymore. Do you think you could try not to?”
I chuckle now. “No, Liam, I don’t think that’s a good idea right now. Not hating you and having sex with you would be a really, really bad idea.”
“I guess so,” he says.
“Are you still willing to help me, though?”
“Yeah, Avery, whatever you need. I already told you, I’ll be here for anything you need.”
“Good, because I think I want to try something.”
He looks down at me. “What is in that head of yours?”
I sit up and smile at him. He looks back at me with a questioning look. Then I look down at his dick. I start to lower myself, but he knows now what I was planning.
He grabs my shoulders and says in a low voice, “No, Avery, you don’t have to do that.”
“I know I don’t, but I want to. I need to not feel like a victim anymore. I need to experience it all. Don’t you understand? I need to know I can enjoy all of it and not hate myself for wanting it all.”
He nods his head, and I slowly lower to where I need to be. I start to worry because a blowjob was a hurtful thing they would torture me with.
Liam doesn’t give me time to think anymore. He interrupts my thoughts with, “It’s okay, Avery, we can try again later.”
“No. I want to.”
He’s already semi-hard, so I swallow and put my hand around him. I stroke up and down. I’ve done this before with him, so I remember how he likes it. It doesn’t take long before he is at full mast. His cock really is beautiful, it’s long and thick, nothing like the others. Shit, I need to stop comparing him to those pathetic men. Liam is nothing like them, and that calms me enough to open my mouth and slide him in. His taste is even better. I close my eyes and take him deeper. I begin to rise up and down. I hear Liam moaning, and I see his hands tighten around his sheets. I look up at his face and see the power I’m holding over him. The power; that’s it, I start to feel powerful. I have this man in my mouth, and I’m controlling his pleasure and him.
I close my eyes and relax my throat. I want to take all of him. I’ve been forced and gagged, but this time I want to, so I relax and try to slide him in me all the way. I do, and Liam lets out a curse. I feel it again, the power over him. I want more. I keep working him harder and faster until I feel Liam’s hand on my shoulder.
“Stop, Avery. I’m going to cum. Stop.”
Hell no, I’m not stopping. I want it all. I take him all the way down again and look him straight in the eyes, and that’s his undoing. I feel his cum shoot in the back of my throat, and I swallow over and over until he’s done.
I slide him out and jump up. “I did it, Liam.”
“Jesus Christ, woman. Yes, you did. Come here.”
I lie back down, putting my head on his chest. “So, I take it you liked it.”
“Fuck, Avery, I loved it, baby. You feel my heart beating? Shit, woman, you can do that anytime you want.”
I laugh and then say, “I felt powerful, Liam, it wasn’t like before.” I get serious and continue. “When they forced me to do that, I hated it. I felt degraded and humiliated. I never thought I could enjoy it. But I did, Liam. I enjoyed having you in my mouth. It felt powerful, like I held your pleasure over you.”
He raises my head up and says, “I don’t want you thinking of them anymore. They’re gone, Avery. You can enjoy anything you want now, and you shouldn’t feel guilty for that. You did control me, and I loved it. I love everything you do to me, but not if you don’t.”
He kisses me, then I lower my head back down on his chest. “Liam, do you think anyone else will notice?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Do you think another man would notice I’ve been dirtied and abused?”
He flips me over with him half on top of me. He looks me dead
in the eyes and says, “I don’t ever want to talk about another man when you’re in my arms, do you hear me? I don’t care what other men see. I only care about you. Avery, you’re not dirty or abused. You’re beautiful and strong. No man would dare think of you any other way.” He starts to slide his hand down my stomach and reaches further down. He lets out a small groan, and I feel him tug on my trimmed pubic hair.
“I love that you didn’t remove it all. I loved it full, but this is nice.”
That puts a smile on my face, but then I let out a moan because he is starting to play with me again.
“When I’m with you, Avery, I don’t want you thinking of anyone else, ever. It’s only me and you.”
I nod my head and let out a louder moan. “Oh shit.” I feel his fingers enter me and curl and hit my…
“What are you doing?”
“Does it feel good?”
I nod through my moaning.
“That’s one of your G-spots. When I touch you here, I don’t want you thinking if some other man will be able to do this to you. I’m going to find them all, Avery, every one of your G-pots. Only me, and I don’t want you thinking of anyone but me when you close your eyes.”
I feel him slide his finger out of me and run it over my ass crack. He slowly enters, stretching my entrance. He then slides another finger back into my pussy. “Oh, fuck.” My eyes fly open, and I look at a smiling Liam. “You like that baby?” I don’t get time to answer, I cum so hard from all the different sensations at once. He has me screaming and convulsing. My body falls limp after. I’m exhausted, like I’ve been working out. Shit, I didn’t know that could feel so good like that.
“Now are we clear?” Liam stares at me, waiting for an answer.
“Yes, crystal clear.”
He turns me so my back is on his chest, and then I feel his fingers playing with the hair on my landing strip. I can’t move, I’m so exhausted. It doesn’t take long before I fall asleep.
42
Liam
If I thought I was screwed before, I have no idea what I am now. I came out of my bathroom to find Avery standing there in nothing but a black lace bra and a black thin lace thong. I almost couldn’t breathe. I can’t believe she came back to me again. I thought she was done after she asked me to leave last night. When I see the hurt in her eyes at my hesitance. It almost kills me that she doesn’t understand I want to help; shit, I want her, period, any way I can have her. But I don’t think I can go back to restraining myself.
Art of Forgiveness Page 20
