All the Dancing Birds
Page 23
Acknowledgments
IT ALL STARTED with a brilliant neurosurgeon, Dr. Cully Cobb, who removed a brain tumor—a large and terrifying brain tumor. With drills and saws and various home improvement tool belt items, he gave me another life and a grand interest in all things concerning the brain. Thank you is not nearly sufficient.
I am in awe of the generosity of my husband, Dan, who told me over and over until I finally believed him and fully shared his enthusiasm that my story was worthy, the writing was good, and the effort would touch people in a positive and loving way. To Dan, I am most grateful.
I cannot thank enough the many people and their caregivers who allowed me to visit, who befriended me and unabashedly showed me the baffling nature of Alzheimer’s disease. They taught me about its outward behavior, as well as its inward fragments of thought that flicker like beautiful, inextinguishable lights, from its onset all the way to its end. Thank you for helping me to hold up a flag of hope on your behalf—yours is a profound and humbling message.
My deepest thanks and gratitude to those who suffered through my early drafts, who listened to me natter on endlessly about this improbable idea of mine, who then encouraged and pushed me to carry it out, to be a better writer, to be true to my words, to be unapologetic, to find my feet when I thought they were lost, who talked me off the roof, who joined me in finding the bottom of a bottle of wine, who lent me their courage when I was fresh out, who shared their wives with a blubbering writer, who restored my spirits over a glorious week in Montana, a week in Nashville and then, another week in Sacramento, who chided and cajoled and believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself, who told me to point my chin toward the future (I tried my best to place you in alphabetical order—Sorry, I’m not very good with hyphenated, complicated-name people and I placed my female friends before their husbands. I’m bad that way): Shelly Alcorn, Mark Alcorn, Susan Springer Butler, Chuck Butler, Cynthia D’Amour, Linnea Knowles, Leslie Kohler, Daniel Kuhn, Anne Ornelos de Lemos, Drew Myron, Lisa Berry-Nicholson, Kevin Nicholson, Marlene Phillips, Esther Garrett Powell, Russ Powell, Anne Roseman, Paula Silici, Kristi Smith, Dawn Teo, and, of course, the Bunco Ladies of Stetson Valley—one of these days I’m going to win!
Thank you to the generous, slow-dripping, honey-voiced woman of the Blowing Rock, North Carolina, Chamber of Commerce, who leisurely guided me through an introduction to the people and music of the Appalachians and, when our conversation was done, made me pine for a plate of grits and eggs. I wish I knew your name.
Grand and hearty thanks to The Editorial Department. Your support, guidance, editorial genius and copious handholding made this a better book than I could have ever dreamed of creating.
Thank you, Marcanti Clarke Literary Press!
Thank you to the woman who—when she found out the subject of my book—hugged me close and whispered in my ear that she had just been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and she needed my book so she would know herself in the future.
Finally, thank you, Wilson—you are an impossibly dear Labradoodle and pet therapy dog who loves all the little ladies and gentlemen we visit. If you were so inclined to shed, your curly white coat would be infused in every page of this book.
Reading Group Guide
Lillie Claire Glidden appears befuddled by her early forgetfulness and develops a number of coping behaviors that serve to both hide her memory lapses and adapt to them. How does Lillie Claire purposely hide her memory difficulties, and does this mean she is clever, or that she is in denial? Why would a person try to hide being forgetful?
Lillie Claire seems to enjoy very different relationships with each of her children. Is it reasonable to expect that the dynamics of mother/adult child complexities would create different responses in the way Lillie Claire interacts with the characters of Bryan and Allison? Does the immature sibling rivalry that has continued into adulthood obscure and stunt the ability to recognize their mother’s shifting behavior?
After Lillie Claire’s memory craters in a failed attempt to cook a simple dinner, her son, Bryan, takes her to a doctor for evaluation. Why do you think her son, and not the daughter to whom Lillie Claire seems closer, would be the person to address his mother’s health?
When Lillie Claire receives her initial diagnosis of Early Onset Alzheimer’s disease, her response is to cheer up Bryan by stopping afterward for ice cream. Do you find this a reasonable response? Why do you think Bryan is visibly upset, while Lillie Claire appears to more easily accept such a tragic diagnosis?
Lillie Claire writes poems and letters to her children and keeps them hidden in a box in her closet. Why do you think she doesn’t share her writings with Bryan and Allison? Do you think it is possible for a person with Alzheimer’s disease to be able to continue to write and read?
When Lillie Claire’s forgetfulness ruins a planned vacation, Allison’s response is overwhelming anger. Do you think there may be a deeper issue guiding Allison’s protracted lack of forgiveness? What is the catalyst then that prompts Allison to see Lillie Claire through a different lens, finally allowing for understanding and a mending of their relationship?
When the children bring a full-time caregiver for their mother, how does the character of Jewell provide a tempering and calming influence in the home? Does Lillie Claire benefit from remaining in her home with a private caregiver, or would she be better cared for in a nursing facility? Why do you think Bryan and Allison give in to their mother’s wish to remain in her home?
As Lillie Claire begins to struggle with language skills, she invites Jewell to read aloud her private writings. Does this change the way Lillie Claire responds to her memories and ultimately to herself?
As she deteriorates, Lillie Claire anguishes over her diminished function as a mother. She laments this loss and, in a fit of regret, decides to burn all her letters and poems. Why would Lillie Claire consider destroying works she has labored so hard over and has dedicated as the final gift to her children?
Lillie Claire is often soothed by her cat, John Milton, and amused by the birds who visit her patio each day. Why do you think Lillie Claire responds so positively to the presence of her cat and to the little birds that she believes perform choreographed dances across her patio?
As Lillie Claire declines and her language turns more deeply inward, are you surprised that her interior dialogue is more intact than she can display to others? Could this understanding influence how one might navigate a conversation with someone who suffers from Alzheimer’s disease?
When Jewell breaks down and asks Bryan and Allison for more help, do you think the children should have then moved their mother to a care facility with round-the-clock care? What option would you choose?
All the Dancing Birds is ultimately a story of profound love and enduring acceptance. How did the characters mature as the story progressed? What possibilities might the future hold for Bryan and Allison?
Table of Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Epilogue