Dirty Addiction

by Ella Miles

  I move my hand to rub my eyes, but I stop myself. If I rub my eyes, I will ruin my mascara. I yawn instead, the exhaustion getting to me. It will be worth it though when I see Killian’s smug face turn into one of his classic frowns when I win. I have no doubt that I will. I’ve been up all night, going over everything Killian sent me along with seeing if there is any more data that I need to prove my recommendation.

  I was surprised actually when I got the email from Killian. He sent me everything he had on the project, including his personal notes and email exchanges between him and my father. Those were hard to read, but I read them anyway. He also sent me hours and hours of material. I don’t know why he would do that if he wanted me to fail. Maybe he wants me to succeed.

  “Ready?” Killian says as he pokes his head into my father’s office.

  “Yes,” I say.

  I gather my things and follow Killian. I do my best to stand tall and confident even though everything inside is trembling. I follow Killian until we get to the conference room where the meeting is going to be held.

  “You’ll do great,” he says, winking at me, before he holds the door open for me.

  I walk in, but I have no idea what he is doing. Is he trying to give me fake confidence? Is he trying to distract me? I have no idea. I push the thoughts from my head and instead walk into the room with an intense expression on my face. I try to pretend I’m Killian walking into the room. He wouldn’t be smiling and happy. He would be glaring at everyone, forcing them to do what he said with just one look.

  I can’t keep the expression up long though as I walk in. I’m a little in shock at the number of people in this room. There is close to thirty, and the room isn’t even filled yet. I was expecting to present to an intimate small team of ten people, maximum. Instead, I’m going to be presenting to what feels like the entire company.

  Killian puts his hand at the small of my back, guiding me to the front of the long table in the center of the room that has at least ten chairs around it. Those are probably for the most important people. On either side of the table, there are three rows of chairs holding at least thirty more people, and they are all staring at me.

  “Killian, why didn’t you tell me there was going to be so many people at this meeting? Who are they?” I hiss between clenched teeth.

  He smiles brightly. “I didn’t want you to be nervous, but no need to worry. You’ll do great. You are completely prepared. The main table here is the execs, which is where you will need to focus most of your attention when you talk. The rest are their assistants and staff who will be in charge of helping to implement the expansion. They might have a few questions for you because they are more familiar with what the day-to-day operations will look like.”

  I stare, wide-eyed, until we get to the end of the table where we each take a seat. I realize now why he’s being so nice to me. It’s not because he wants me to do well. It’s because he has fed me to the wolves, and I’m about to get slaughtered.

  I’ve never given a speech in front of this many people. The only thing I have done in front of this many people is model, and all that involved was looking pretty while walking down a catwalk without falling. It was nothing compared with this.

  Killian leans over to me. “You wanted a chance. I’m giving you a chance. This is what it’s really like to run the company.”

  He grabs my hand and gives it a quick squeeze before he stands. It does nothing to reassure me. Instead, I feel my palm growing sweaty from where he just touched it.

  “I’m Killian Browne, VP of Operations. Today, I’m supposed to present the plans for the expansion of the Felton Grand. I’m not going to do that.” He pauses while people uncomfortably shuffle in their seats at his statement. “Instead, I’m going to let the person who ran the data explain. I would like to introduce you to Kinsley Felton.”

  I stop bouncing my foot under the table and stand. The room has fallen silent now that they know Robert’s daughter is the one who will be speaking. I smile weakly around the room as I make my way to where Killian is standing. He winks at me before taking a seat.

  “Hi. I’m Kinsley.” I can feel my heart beating out of my chest with every word that I’m saying. “Today, I would like to show you my thoughts on the expansion and what the data shows.” I walk to the computer that is already set up with my slides. I press the button for them to turn to the first screen.

  I realize I’ve been staring at the ground the whole time, so I look up. I feel what feels like hundreds of eyes on me, but to my surprise, they are all smiling. A few of them are trying to check out what’s underneath my pencil skirt and pink shirt, but for the most part, I’m getting friendly faces in return. I can do this.

  “As you can see from the graph, the numbers show a steady increase from month to month in the hotel and casino revenue. This shows that there is a need for expansion because we can’t keep up with the demand.”

  I continue talking, uninterrupted, for thirty minutes, explaining every reason that we should do the expansion and why it is in the best interest of the entire company. I feel good about my presentation. It seems to be going well, and everyone is giving me their undivided attention. I even glance over at Killian a couple of times, and he seems to be nodding his head in approval.

  I click the computer to get it to move to the last slide, the one where I give my recommendation. I feel good throughout my speech. Maybe I can really do this. Maybe this is where I belong. “After looking at all the data, it is my recommendation that we increase the expansion to one thousand rooms. That would also allow us to increase the number of slots and the high-roller rooms by fifty percent. It…” I don’t continue though. As I glance around the room, there are about a hundred hands in the air. At least, that’s what it looks like.

  “Yes,” I say, pointing to the closest gentleman at the center table.

  “I’m sorry, but it would be ridiculous to spend that amount of money on an expansion where we will never get our money back out of it. If we put those kind of resources behind the Felton Grand, we aren’t going to have enough resources to keep the others from failing.”

  I freeze at his question. “I, um…I’m not sure.”

  I point to the next man, hoping he will say something positive to save me.

  “The data you used doesn’t make sense with the data we already have. I just went through the numbers again. They don’t line up. Can you explain why we have different numbers?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “What metrics did you use?” another man says.

  “I…I’m not sure.” I have no idea what he is talking about, and I can feel my face getting redder. I try to gather myself. “If you would just turn your attention to this slide, I can better explain to give you more confidence in the plan.”

  “Wouldn’t expanding to just five hundred give us the same amount of profit in just a month longer with less risk?”

  “Maybe, but—”

  “Then, why don’t we just do the five-hundred-room expansion?”

  “I—”

  “Killian why have the plans changed?” a man sitting less than five seat from me asks.

  Shit, now, they are addressing Killian instead of me.

  “Killian, I think you’d better finish the presentation,” Granddad says.

  I didn’t even realize he was in the room. I’d thought if he heard how great of a job I did from others, he would believe I could do this. Instead, I’ve just fucked up, proving him right.

  I swallow before nodding at Killian to finish. He seems reluctant to get up, but he does. I brush past him as I walk. I walk past all the stares. I walk past all the embarrassing murmurs. I walk out of the room until I find my father’s office.

  I fall onto my father’s couch, and then I cry. I’ve failed. I can’t do this. I was wrong to even try. Killian knew that. My grandfather knew that. Even my father knew that. They all knew I wasn’t strong enough to handle this.

  I should just marry Killian. Or be
tter yet, I should just let him have the company. I could go back to modeling where nobody ever asked me any questions that were difficult. Instead, I got praise daily for how beautiful I was. I felt important. Now, I just feel broken.

  “What were you thinking?” Granddad says.

  I sit up and wipe my tears. “I just wanted to prove that I could do it, that I could be a part of the company and not just sit on the sidelines while Killian runs it. I just want to be more than a trophy wife.”

  He sighs before walking over to me and taking a seat next to me. “I know you do, but you have to know your strengths. That doesn’t include giving big speeches or making decisions. Your beauty is your strength. If you want to help and be a part of the company, then agree to do some modeling for our ads. Be the face of the company, not the voice.”

  “But I want more. I want to be more than just a pretty face.”

  “You don’t need to be though. You’re beautiful. You have a perfect life. There is no need to throw that all away just to try to feel more useful. If you’re not careful, Killian won’t even want to marry you, and then you’ll be out of luck. I’m afraid I’ll have to make that man CEO whether he marries you or not. He’s too good at his job to let him go to our competition.”

  He stands. “If you were smart, you would be focusing on getting him to fall for you instead of thinking of how you can be more useful to the company. You are most useful as Killian’s wife. You need him to fall in love with you before he figures out that I will promote him whether he marries you or not.”

  I watch my grandfather as he walks out of my father’s office without saying another word. Killian already knows that he’s invaluable to the company. He already knows that he will become CEO whether or not he marries me. That’s why he proposed what he proposed.

  Maybe my grandfather’s right. I should be focused on getting Killian to fall in love with me instead of focusing on getting my grandfather to believe I can do this.

  “I figured you would be in here,” Killian says.

  “Do you ever knock?”

  “No. You find out the best stuff if you don’t knock.”

  I do my best to casually wipe my eyes, so he doesn’t think I’ve been siting here, crying, but it’s no use. He knows that’s what I’ve been doing.

  “Here to gloat?”

  He narrows his eyes. “No. I figured you would be the one who was going to do the gloating.”

  “Why would I do that? I failed. I lose. You win.”

  He smiles. “I would call it more of a tie.”

  I watch as he walks over and casually takes a seat on the sofa.

  “What do you mean, we tied? I did horrible in there. They were practically laughing at my plan.”

  “I wouldn’t say that. They ended up agreeing with you in the end.”

  “What? How?”

  He sighs. “I should have told you that there was pushback for even doing the smaller expansion in the first place. Nobody wanted to do it. There was no way that you were going to convince them that we should spend that kind of money and take that kind of risk, no matter what the data said.”

  “You did. It took you less than twenty minutes to convince them.”

  “Ten actually,” he says, smirking.

  I hit him with a throw pillow.

  “Sorry. Just thought you should know that it was a joint effort. You supplied the information and got them warmed up. I just closed the deal.”

  I roll my eyes. “No, you win. I didn’t close the deal, as you say. I couldn’t even answer their simple questions.”

  His smile widens. “I was happy to just call it a tie, but if you want to go on a date with me that badly, you can just ask.”

  I roll my eyes for a second time. “So, what happened after I left?”

  He shrugs. “I answered their questions and told them it was happening whether they wanted it to or not, and it would be better if the company as a whole was behind it.”

  I frown when he puts his arm around me, but I admit it does relax me a little to have it there.

  “Who has the ultimate decision then about if the expansion will go on or not?”

  “Right now, your grandfather.”

  I nod, realizing that the only reason they even had a meeting with half of the company was to get them behind the decision. It was never for them to decide the fate of the company. My grandfather was always the one who was going to make that decision. If I had just gone straight to him with my speech, maybe things would have been different. Maybe then, he would have realized that I was more than just a pretty face. Too late now.

  “So, when is this date I have to go on?”

  He tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear. His touch sends chills down my arms.

  “You are eager.”

  “No,” I say, shaking off the chills. “Just ready for it to be over.”

  “Tomorrow then.”

  I nod although I have no idea why I agreed to go out with him. All he wants is another chance to fuck me. I don’t plan on giving him that pleasure, but as his eyes travel over my body, stopping at my chest, I don’t know if I’ll be able to resist his temptation.

  Killian is late, thirty minutes late. He hasn’t called. He hasn’t texted. Nothing.

  I pace back and forth in the living room of my new room that feels more like an apartment than a hotel room. It’s the presidential room. It’s the room Dad and I would stay in when we stayed at the hotel.

  I just had most of my stuff moved into the hotel this morning. I couldn’t live in the family house any longer. I like living by myself. And I like that hotel rooms feel more like home than my own house ever will. It will also help to be closer to the offices below. If I’m still committed to figuring out how to convince my grandfather that I can do this job, then I need to learn from everyone in the casino—from the maids to the card dealers to the managers. I need all the help I can get to learn this business.

  And if I’m being honest with myself, I didn’t want Killian picking me up from my parents’ house. I wanted a place of my own, however temporary.

  I pace again. I should have had Scarlett stay. She would have known what to do when he didn’t show up. I should call her and tell her to come back, that we should just have a girls’ night instead.

  I hear a knock on the door. I open the door, and my jaw drops. Killian is standing there. That, I expected. What I didn’t expect to see was him dressed so casually. He’s in dark jeans and a T-shirt. His hair isn’t gelled like usual. Actually, it looks a little unkempt. And a five o’clock shadow completes his look.

  He grins at me when he sees my expression. I look down at how I’m dressed. Shit! I’m in a dress, a nice dress. I was expecting formal Killian. All I’ve ever seen him in is suits. I thought that’s what he would wear since he came straight from work to pick me up. He’s not.

  “What’s wrong, princess?” he asks smugly.

  “I need to change,” I say. I turn to run back into my bedroom to change.

  He grabs my arm. “No time.”

  He pulls me into the hallway, and I hear the hotel door shut behind me before I can protest. We enter the elevator, and he presses the button for the ground floor. I can’t look at him. I’m too embarrassed.

  Scarlett helped me decide what to wear. She told me to wear this black lace dress that is slightly see-through, so I did. I shouldn’t have.

  “I like your hair like this.” His thumb caresses my exposed neck due to my hair being styled on top of my head.

  I quickly forget why I’m supposed to be embarrassed when he is looking at me like this. I lick my bottom lip, preparing for the kiss that always follows that look.

  “I like that it gives me better access to your neck.” He softly kisses me on my neck but doesn’t do anything further.

  Instead, he grabs my hand, and when the doors open, we walk out of the elevator and onto the casino floor. I let go of his hand as we walk through the casino. Several employees nod their heads at us in re
cognition—except they don’t recognize me. They are acknowledging Killian. I’m surprised to see a smile on most of their faces when they see him. They seem to like him. He’s probably a good boss, firm yet fair. I might be making a huge mistake, trying to take that away from the company, but I’m not trying to take it away. I’m just trying to improve upon that—whether that’s with me or someone else.

  We exit the casino into the warm Vegas air. Killian comes to an abrupt stop. I expect him to have changed his mind. I expect him to decide we should spend the whole date back in my hotel room or go to his place, wherever that is.

  “I should have let you change. Can you walk in those?” He points to my black high heels.

  “Yes, I can walk just fine in these.” I’m surprised that he didn’t order a car.

  He raises his eyebrow. “You couldn’t walk in them the other night.”

  “I had too much to drink that night. Trust me, I’ll be fine. I’ve walked enough catwalks with heels twice as high and tighter dresses than this, all while being blasted with flashing lights. I’ll be fine.” The first part isn’t true. I didn’t have too much to drink that night. My body was just reacting to Killian’s stare as he walked me to his hotel room that night.

  It’s the same stare he has on his face again as his eyes travel over my body before landing on my black bra that is visible beneath my dress.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Trying to imagine you with less clothes or tighter clothes. I can’t imagine it. I’m going to need a show later.”

  “This was a mistake.”

  I turn to go back to my room, but he stops me.

  “I’m kidding. Relax, princess.” He breathes slowly in and out, trying to get me to imitate him.

  I roll my eyes at him.

  “I’m just trying to make you smile, and apparently, I’m doing a terrible job. I’m a bit out of practice.” His eyes stay transfixed on mine.

  I laugh. This guy is unbelievable.

  His lips curl up slightly at the sight of me laughing. He looks around to find the cause of my laughter. “What’s so funny?”

  “You are. You don’t expect me to believe that you haven’t taken a different girl out every night. I bet you have had a different model or actress or showgirl in your bed every night this week.” I raise my eyebrows at him, waiting for an answer.