Stick Dog
Page 5
And I think their heads really might have popped off if it hadn’t been for what happened next.
Even with their hands covering their ears, the family could hear the loud padding of four paws getting faster and faster – and then a great THUMP!
I bet you know who it was.
It was Poo-Poo.
Do you remember when you were a one-year-old? Probably not. It’s hard to remember back that far. Besides, who wants to anyway? Do you want to have memories of drooling all over the place and grown-ups talking to you like you’re a one-year-old? Well, you were a one-year-old, of course, but that doesn’t mean they have to talk to you like that. You know what I mean? Goo-goo. Ga-ga. Blah-blah-blah. GROW UP, PEOPLE!
Anyway, when you were a one-year-old and just learning to walk, you would stumble and trip all over the place. You would bang your head into walls and smash your face on the floor when you fell. Don’t be ashamed; we all did it. And here’s the thing: When you got up, you almost always smiled anyway, because you had just taken some steps. You were learning to be an amazing, incredible, WALKING HUMAN! Who cares if your face is all bashed up?! You are walking like nobody’s business! You thought: I bet nobody has ever done this in the entire history of the world!
Except, of course, in the whole history of the world, just about all of us have done it. But what the heck. You didn’t know that at the time. So you were just pleased as anything. You were an awesome Walking Machine!
Well, when Poo-Poo raced across the field and ran face-first into the tree trunk, that’s sort of what he looked like. His legs were a little wobbly, his head was a little hurt, but he was proud – so proud – of causing such a great distraction.
The family had stopped watching anything else. They just stared at Poo-Poo running into that tree again and again.
And Stick Dog knew that it was his turn. He had to do his job. He had to grab those hamburgers.
Stick Dog was proud of his friends. They had done exactly what they were supposed to do. And the result was exactly what he’d planned – the family was completely distracted from the hamburgers.
It was time to snatch them.
Only here’s the thing: he didn’t grab the hamburgers.
They were right there in front of him on the picnic table. Oooh, they smelled so delicious too. He could just reach out with his mouth, grip the rim of the serving dish that the hamburgers were sitting in, and take them all the way back to the big empty pipe beneath Highway 16.
The family was distracted. Mutt, Poo-Poo, Stripes, and Karen had all done their jobs perfectly. But Stick Dog did not grab the hamburgers.
Here’s why: he didn’t have to.
That’s because the family of humans finally started moving. The dad went to Stripes and began scratching her under the chin, calming her Super Ball bouncing. He fed her a few potato chips that he picked out of his hair.
The mum went to Karen, scratched her tummy, and gave her the last bite of pickle. Karen stopped spinning, although she still wobbled a bit as she ate it.
The boy did something quite unusual. He ran over to Mutt, lifted his own chin in the air, and started howling himself. And, between you and me, that boy was a pretty good howler. He wasn’t as good a howler as Mutt, of course. I’m not sure anybody is. But this kid was pretty good.
Mutt was so surprised that he stopped howling and listened to the boy instead – which, if you think about it, is kind of a funny role reversal. The boy shared his piece of cheddar cheese with Mutt and then they started howling together.
Meanwhile, the girl sprinted right over to Poo-Poo, who was sitting in a daze next to the big tree trunk he had just rammed his head into. The girl began stroking Poo-Poo’s head, and he collapsed comfortably into her lap. She leaned down to rub his head, and Poo-Poo licked a bit of ketchup off her cheek.
Now, you might think that Stick Dog would be mad about all this. After all, the plan was to get the hamburgers and run away. And Mutt, Poo-Poo, Stripes, and Karen were definitely not running away.
But here’s something you may not know: There are two things that dogs like even more than food.
Do you know what they are?
Praise and attention. And in this case, the family was giving the four dogs all the praise and attention they could handle.
Think about it. If you came home from school with a big A+ on an important quiz, what would you want your parents to say?
“Here, have an apple.”
Or
“Great job. I know how hard you worked to earn this grade. I’m proud of you.” And then they scratch your belly. Oh, okay, they don’t really scratch your belly. You can scratch your own belly, after all. But you know what I mean, right?
Now, there’s one more thing that you need to know before we get to the actual hamburger part. And I bet you’ve been wondering about it, haven’t you?
You’ve been wondering about Stick Dog himself, right? After all, he wasn’t in on the distraction part of the plan.
Don’t worry, he’s fine.
Stick Dog is fine because he did what all good dogs do when there is praise and attention being dished out. He went around to each member of that family and got a little praise and attention for himself.
And do you know what happened next?
The mum and the dad went over to the serving dish full of hamburgers on the picnic table. They put five of those delicious hamburgers on paper plates and set them down on the ground.
So Poo-Poo, Mutt, Karen, Stripes, and Stick Dog all got a big hamburger each.
Between bites, Stick Dog said to his friends, “You know, these humans aren’t so bad after all.” He munched until the hamburger was all the way gone. He licked the plate clean.
Then the girl from the family did something truly spectacular.
She put another hamburger on his plate.
And patted his head.
The End
(until the next stomach grumbles).
I write with only Elizabeth and Jacob in mind. I can’t believe they haven’t gotten entirely sick of my jokes yet.
Special thanks to Margaret Anastas (my favourite advocate) and David Linker for finding me in Chicago – and for finding Stick Dog in his pipe below Highway 16. And thanks to Annie Stone and Nicole Hoff for answering my dumb questions.
Thanks to Doug Stewart for helping me navigate my way through the process – such a great help.
Thanks to Rob Brookman for being a great sounding board. Thanks to Diane Pletka for making so many things I’ve worked on look better. Thanks to Nikola Wilensky and Steve Spatz at BookBaby for early support.
Every student has a teacher who provided important guidance at an important time. Thanks to Mary Pierce Brosmer for being that teacher for me.
The following people have played a role in helping me along the way – and Stick Dog wouldn’t have come to life without their help: Kate Cunningham, Burt Glass, Tom Schutte, Tom Bowman, Scott Nice, George Ventus, Wendy Pick, Scott Paschal, Lisa Schrag, the Ponce family, Beth Masterson, Myra Wagner, Jayne Krulewitch, Jane Lomar, Eric Mizuno, Becky Schifra, Peter Lechman, and Bob Listernick.
A quick message to Richard, Carol, Jim, Donna, Tom, Susie, Soo, Nancy, Rob, Bud, Liz, Sarah, Mo, Tom, Kate, Mike, and Misty: You may or may not think that the characters in this book are based on you. You may or may not be right. If you are right, I would like to make one thing perfectly clear: I’m Stick Dog.
Oh, I forgot. I want to say “Hi” to Stephanie Ponce.
Hi, Stephanie.
Copyright
First published in the USA by HarperCollins Publishers Inc. in 2013
First published in Great Britain by HarperCollins Children’s Books in 2013
HarperCollins Children’s Books is a division of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd,
77-85 Fulham Palace Road, Hammersmith, London, W6 8JB.
www.harpercollins.co.uk
1
Stick Dog
All rights reserved under International and Pan-A
merican Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
Text copyright © 2013 by Tom Watson
Illustrations copyright © 2013 by Ethan Long
SOURCE ISBN 9780007494828
Ebook Edition © NOVEMBER 2012 ISBN: 9780007494835
Version 1
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