In Anyone Else's Shoes

by M. L. Joslyn

  Ty lifted his head, hoping to find a different Emma than the one who had shut him down minutes earlier. Her eyes were closed and her body was still. She looked to be pleasantly spent, well loved.

  ‘That was amazing, Ty. Thanks.’ Emma squinted below heavy lids just enough to notice her ex-boyfriend’s deep blue eyes and tilted, bright smile. So gorgeous – so sad. She propped herself on wobbly elbows and looked down at Ty’s tented boxers. She grinned while admiring the volume of space he’d created under the stretched-out fabric. ‘Let’s do something about this.’

  Ty pushed himself back on the couch, his head comfortable on the armrest. Emma pulled his boxers to his feet, rubbing the muscles of his legs with smooth palms as she worked her way down. His eyes were closed now, and she wondered briefly what, or who, he was imagining as she massaged his powerful thighs. It didn’t matter, though, not to Emma, because it wasn’t complicated any more. They’d moved beyond their unshakable, yet fragile, relationship, and even past their buds with benefits relationship. They were down now to their lust-driven needs – the immodest, physical yearning for release. If anything was left of them as a couple, it was the feeling of safety they had with one another.

  Emma reached for his hard, quivering cock, and began stroking his length. She loved the contradiction of his erection: soft, yielding skin over a stiff, iron-willed rod. She moved in closer and pumped his thick shaft with a firm grip and measured pace, mesmerised by its suppleness and strength. A bead of precome worked its way outside the tip and Emma instinctively reached for it with her lips. The salty-sweet appetiser emboldened her chase for more. She took the head of his cock in, past her heedful teeth, bathing the swollen crown with her rolling tongue. Ty’s eyes clenched, and his shy moans became untethered, emphatic cries of pleasure. Emma sensed how close he was to his orgasm and sucked his beating shaft to the back of her mouth. She found her rhythm, drawing him in then letting him out. Sliding her fist to the base of his cock, she gripped firm and tugged fast. His hands grasped for her head, his long fingers raking through her muddled tresses. She sensed him thickening further, one notch beyond possible, and then he came, jets of milky cream lacing her mouth, slaking her thirst for him.

  Their hearts pulsed conspicuously against their skin, but they were otherwise still, loosely spread across the couch. They looked at each other with appraising eyes, remembering what they had once – knowing what they had now.

  ‘I should leave,’ Emma said lethargically, almost humming the words.

  ‘What do you mean? Why?’ Ty responded, his voice just as lifeless.

  ‘I mean move. Would you be OK with that?’

  ‘No. There’s no reason for you to be thinking like that. Stop it.’

  ‘I don’t know, Ty. We can’t keep using each other this way. It’s my way of kicking the crutches away from you – from us. We’ll be better off.’

  ‘You mean you’ll be better off, huh.’

  ‘Yeah, probably … I don’t know. Who knows?’

  ‘Listen, I want what’s best for you. You know that. If you want out, OK. But you don’t have to leave, Em. This is your home too.’

  Emma gathered her clothes, clutching the bundle to her chest, as if immodesty suddenly had some consequence. She leant over Ty, swept loving fingers through his blond mop, and then headed to her room.

  Lying face up in bed, scanning shadowy images on the ceiling, Emma contemplated her next move. She needed to put Ty behind her, which meant packing up and heading out. He was a bandage on her heart that had to be peeled with a quick tug; the longer it was there, the more painful it would be to remove. She laid out her options in her head with the same efficiency she employed when merchandising her store. Unfortunately, her life wasn’t as easily arranged as a pair of stiletto heels.

  She considered getting her own apartment – definitely the least complicated of her options. It had been a while since she’d lived by herself, and it wasn’t a horrible experience, as she recalled. There were lots of nice places in, or near, her current neighbourhood. That’s where she’d want to be – she thought. But what if there was suddenly a great new job on the other side of the valley? A lease is a lease, and she didn’t want to screw with all the potential costs and legal implications should it be necessary to move.

  An alternative would be to live someplace shorter term, less commitment. Like Alyssa’s? Emma recalled the offer her best friend had laid on the table the night of the Jake and Cal debacle. Something about an escape pad always being available. Some escape pad. Beautiful home, beautiful pool, beautiful men – all available 24/7. What’s not to like? Although the atmosphere was picture perfect, Emma knew it would be tantamount to living at one of those questionably legitimate, hedonistic island resorts advertised in the back of Cosmopolitan: fun for a quick, suitcase-full-of-pseudonyms vacation – not so much fun when family dropped by.

  Then Emma remembered the Tucson offer. Maybe a new city could provide the fresh start she needed. Maybe the stars were trying to tell her something. It was worth considering. She loved her job; it just wasn’t taking her anywhere – except, perhaps, to Tucson. There was a decent possibility that, down the road, the move would pan out. If she stayed in the Phoenix market, there was no telling when a better opportunity would come along – at least with Untamed Soles. Tucson was looking pretty damn good.

  Having worked her conundrum down to a satisfactory resolution, Emma was able to close her eyes and drift off to a pleasingly exhausted, comfortable sleep.

  ‘Emma, I’m so glad you called.’ Jason swallowed hard before continuing. ‘Listen, I wanted to talk to you about yesterday. Maybe I should start by explaining how …’

  ‘Jason, it’s OK. This is just a business call – if you don’t mind.’

  ‘Of course, Emma. What can I do for you?’

  ‘I’ve considered the Tucson offer, and … I’d like to take the new store. I know I could do a great job with it, get it up and going in the right direction. I actually helped set up the Santa Barbara store – I’m not sure if you knew that. Anyway, what I’m most excited about is growing the market, and being in on the ground floor. And, hopefully, you’ll think enough of my abilities to want me as the group manager one day – in the not too distant future?’

  ‘That’s great, Emma. There is no doubt in my mind that you’ll be the perfect manager for Tucson. And, so you know, I already think enough of your talents to want you as a group manager. We just need to create the opening, and the job’s yours.’

  ‘Thank you, Jason. I really appreciate this.’

  ‘Hey, you’re doing the company a favour. So, we’ll want you to get started with the store maybe a month out from the opening. That should give you plenty of time to take care of your personal business here and find a place in Tucson.’

  ‘Yeah. That’s kind of an important question I have. When would you want me there?’

  ‘The store is on line to open in six months. I’d like you to be available in five. OK?’

  Emma tried to collect her thoughts, quickly calculating the days, the weeks, the months, before she could move. She knew there’d be some time before she’d be needed in Tucson; she just hadn’t really placed a number on it. Five months was a long time – about five months longer than she wanted it to be.

  ‘Sure – I suppose.’

  ‘What’s wrong, Emma? Do you need more time?’

  ‘Actually, I was hoping for less. But that’s OK, I’ll figure something out.’

  ‘Does your lease run out before then?’

  ‘No, I’m just anxious to get started, I guess.’

  ‘It’s Ty, isn’t it? Listen, Emma, I know we had what might generously be labelled as an awkward day yesterday. And I would really hate to add to all that mess by sticking my nose somewhere it shouldn’t be, but I want you to always feel comfortable talking to me about things – even non-shoe related things. I do care about you, Emma. I hope you know that.’

  ‘Thanks, Jason. I’d rather not get into th
is now, though. I’ll be fine.’

  ‘I’m sure you will,’ Jason replied, in front of an uncomfortable gap in the conversation. ‘I do have a spare bedroom in my condo. I don’t think you had a chance to see it, but it’s not bad, really. There’s a queen-size bed, dressers, everything you’d need. And, obviously, it’s not being used. I had the furniture anyway, so it needed to go somewhere …’

  ‘Jason?’

  ‘What is it, Emma?’

  ‘You’re very sweet. You really are. And before you officially ask me to move in with you, I think I need to cut you off. I do appreciate the offer, and maybe I’m being a little presumptuous about that, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t move in with you. You’re a great guy, but you’re also my boss – my very smart, very understanding –’ very young and hot ‘– boss. I love that we get to work together. And I am so grateful for everything you’ve done for me.’

  ‘I understand, Emma. Please, let me just say one more thing if I could, and this is off the record, or off the clock, or whatever allows you to not think of me as your boss. I find you … fascinating, Emma Green. I really like you very much, and it’s hard, this allure you hold over me. I don’t know what to do about it, except to tell you. I think you’re adorable. If you want me to go away – as a friend – I will. But, until you tell me officially, I will always hold out hope. Oh, and when I say officially, it doesn’t have to be on company letterhead, OK?’

  It was the second time Jason had come clean regarding his desire for more than a working relationship with Emma; she did note, with only a splash of scepticism, his sincerity.

  ‘No letterhead, I promise. And Jason – thanks again for everything.’

  As much as Emma had hoped to break free from Ty and his alluring semi-availability, she realised her smartest move was no move. She could stand on her head for five months if she had to. Her childhood summers spent enduring gymnastics camp were about to pay off.

  Chapter Six

  Four nights down, about a gazillion left to go. Emma unlocked the door to her Untamed Soles. Just five more months, she told herself, just five more months, and wended her way back to the crowded office she assumed had originally been designed as storage space for a box of peds. Across her face she wore the blinders of focused determination. She hadn’t been in her office more than a second before line one began to blink, singing its imploring song.

  ‘Emma Green, manager, how may I help you?’

  ‘Hey, Em-Em! How’s my best girl?’

  ‘Alyssa! Hey! Um, where are you calling from, sweetie, because it’s way too early for you to be at work?’

  ‘I’m in my store, believe it or not. Hey, Em, did you see a lot of joggers out this morning? There must be some sort of marathon coming up. It was crazy!’

  ‘Actually, I see them every morning, Alyssa. People like to run before it gets too hot, or, you know, sometime before the crack of nine?’

  ‘All right, that’s enough. Listen, I need your help, Em-Em. I may be in trouble.’

  ‘What’s his name this time, Ms Irresistible? Do you need a ride to the clinic?’

  ‘Ha-ha, very funny. This is work stuff that I need help with. I’m pretty sure our new boss is finally coming to my store for a visit, and I’m not sure what to do.’

  ‘I think you should introduce yourself, and then, before he gets a good look at your sales floor, run Alyssa, run!’

  ‘I know you’re kidding, but I actually thought of that. Seriously, I need help merchandising my store. It looks like crap, and I am not in the mood for a lecture from Mr Large and in Charge. And, I’m definitely not in the mood to look for a new job. Help me? Please? I know some new guys I bet you’d love to meet! And these guys are smart, Em-Em – just like you! You can talk to them! Talk, Em-Em, talk!’

  ‘Of course I will help you, sweetie, but no more guy surprises, OK? I’ve got enough on my plate as it is.’

  ‘Aah, there we go. I thought you sounded a little more upbeat than usual. C’mon, dish the dirt, sister.’

  ‘No. So anyway, when is Jason expected for his little visit?’

  ‘I’m not sure. He said sometime this week. You don’t think that means today, do you?’

  ‘I don’t know. I’ll have to check my calendar to see if today is sometime this week. Listen, what if I stop by after six? Rachel’s closing tonight. We can whip your store into shape before nine – possibly. And Alyssa, if he pops in today? It’s been nice working with you.’

  ‘Thanks for your confidence, hon. See you later!’

  Emma sat back in her chair, an impish grin forming on her face. All the talk about Jason had sparked thoughts of him, and their last conversation. ‘I will always hold out hope,’ he said. She couldn’t shake the words from her head. It was romantic, sappy, and clichéd, but it made her feel … yearned for. Despite his words, she still wasn’t certain of his intentions. It was OK; she wasn’t sure about hers either.

  Emma would never say anything, but she found it odd, and kind of amusing, that Jason had yet to step foot in Alyssa’s store. He’d been to her own store several times already. Plus, he definitely seemed the type of boss who liked getting to know his managers, and all the hot, young men wanted to know Alyssa. Emma considered that maybe once Jason met Alyssa, he’d be holding out hope for her as well – or instead.

  ‘You can’t arrange everything strictly by colour, Alyssa.’ Emma was knee-deep in metal display risers and random pairs of black boots. She loved her friend dearly but, at times like this, could never understand why anyone had ever decided it would be a good idea to give her the keys to an Untamed Soles. ‘Look, let’s group all the Steve Maddens on this table, and all the Angiolinis on this shelf over here. See where I’m going with this?’

  ‘You’re a doll, Em-Em! What would I do without you?’

  ‘I don’t know – work, maybe? Listen, if we keep at this, we can have this place looking presentable in no time. I love you, sweetie, but my stomach’s beginning to growl, and unless you’ve got a box of Sprinkles hiding inside a pair of these mid-calfs, I’m going to have to bolt soon.’

  ‘Holy shit, Emma.’ Alyssa’s eyes grew to saucers as she muttered the words in her friend’s ear. ‘Look what just walked in the front door.’

  Emma turned discreetly, afraid of what lurked behind her. She smiled, remembering Alyssa had yet to meet Jason.

  ‘I don’t want to scare you, Alyssa,’ Emma whispered at her friend, ‘but that, my dear, is your boss.’

  ‘No fucking way. And I’ve been avoiding this walking panty swamp all this time? What the hell is wrong with you, not sharing the specs on this fantasyland?’

  ‘Panty swamp? Come with me, sweetie. Introductions are in order.’

  Emma grabbed her friend’s hand and led her towards the front of the store. Jason looked up from a scrambled display of flats and noticed the girls heading his way; his sour veneer quickly dissolved.

  Emma glanced at her friend and thought she detected a measure of drool perched at the corner of her mouth; but who could blame her? Jason looked his usual awesome self, all wrapped up in soft, fine-fitting jeans and a long-sleeve white shirt, two buttons undone – just like the girls.

  ‘Check out those eyes,’ Alyssa whispered as they closed in on their boss. Emma could only respond by rolling hers.

  ‘Jason Eastman, I’d like you to meet Alyssa Tanner, another of your devoted store managers.’

  ‘Well, we’ll see about that. Very nice to meet you Alyssa.’ Jason extended a strong hand; Emma averted her eyes, afraid to see what Alyssa might do with it.

  ‘It’s definitely my pleasure,’ Alyssa replied. ‘Welcome to Phoenix, by the way. I understand you’ve become a local.’

  ‘Well, I’m getting used to the desert, I guess. I don’t quite feel like a resident yet.’

  ‘That’ll come quickly, don’t worry. Especially once you know your way around. I’d be happy to be your tour guide – if you’re looking!’

  Jason glanced quickly at Emma
, nodding his head slightly. ‘We’ll see, I suppose. Thanks for the offer. So, Emma, I’m a little surprised to see you here.’

  ‘Just stopped by to say hi to one of my work pals. I didn’t realise she was in the middle of a floor move, which, by the way, looks fantastic, Alyssa! Anyway, I guess my timing wasn’t very good, so I’m going to be on my way. It was great to see you, Jason. Bye, Alyssa!’

  ‘Wait – please don’t leave yet, Emma,’ Jason pleaded. ‘I wanted to talk to you about something important. I was going to call you later, but, since you’re here … Could you stick around just a bit?’

  ‘I guess I could,’ Emma replied, softly patting her tummy, acknowledging they were both in this together. She considered that her friend probably kept a stash of something sweet tucked away in a drawer – hopefully still wrapped. ‘Alyssa, I’m going to hang out in your office for a few, if that’s OK.’

  ‘Sure, hon. I’m going to show Mr Eastman the rest of the store. Make yourself at home.’ Alyssa rubbed Jason’s arm as she spoke, her eyes locked to his.

  Once Emma was comfortably out of range, Alyssa curled around to face him. ‘So, Jason, what would you like to see first?’ She continued stroking his arm, adding a coquettish little smile.

  ‘Actually, Alyssa, I’d like to talk numbers with you. Why don’t you lock up, and we can have a walk and talk, OK?’

  Emma nibbled on Alyssa’s cache of explode-in-your-mouth candy, thinking her friend must have stopped maturing sometime around middle school. Curious to see what was happening, she cracked the office door and searched for her friend and her boss, trusting things were going well.

  From her vantage point, she could see the pair facing off in the midst of what appeared to be a one-sided conversation. Jason was very vocal and animated, hands and arms twirling about, pointing everywhere. He looked up, he looked down – he looked pretty much everywhere except at Alyssa. Emma couldn’t recall ever seeing him this demonstrative. Alyssa wasn’t saying much, but managed to maintain a persistent smile. After several minutes of what questionably might be considered a conversation, Alyssa trudged towards her office. Emma snapped the door shut, hoping her friend hadn’t noticed her furtive behaviour.