Toad

by Cambria Hebert

  I was used to it.

  Aerie was mine, and I wasn’t about to give her up.

  But if I was honest, totally honest, she wasn’t one hundred percent mine.

  She couldn’t be.

  Not while she was legally someone else’s wife.

  Aerie

  “Aerie?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Why did you marry him?”

  My heart ached because of the question. It ached because of the answer. I was owned by him but promised to someone else.

  “It doesn’t make any sense,” I whispered into the dark. “I wish I could remember.”

  I felt his head lift off the pillow behind me. It was so dark in here, the middle of the night. But neither of us was asleep. “You can’t remember?”

  Glancing over my shoulder, I said, “We went to Vegas, and I woke up in the hotel room the next day with a ring on my finger.”

  “Why’d you go to Vegas?”

  “The tabloids had just printed a new story about me. They were relentless, as always. I was stressed. Will suggested we get out of town for a getaway… to relax and be out of the spotlight.”

  “And he thought Vegas was a good place to do that?” Nate asked, clearly not impressed with Will’s choice.

  “We stayed at Yellow, the ultra-private and exclusive hotel. The staff there is sworn to secrecy, and no cameras or press are allowed inside.”

  “It’s still stupid.”

  I smiled into the night. It was stupid, and looking back at it now, I realized it was just another way for Will to control me. To get something he wanted. He’d probably planned it all along. My smile faded. “I should have stayed home.”

  Nate tightened his arms around my waist, and I snuggled firmer against his body and sighed. “Were you drinking? Did you black out?” he asked.

  I sifted through the fuzzy, hazy memories from that night. Trying to recall what happened. “I wasn’t hungover the next day. I had a headache, was tired. And thirsty. My brain was filled with fog. But it wasn’t like a hangover.”

  Nate lurched up suddenly, propping on his elbow, and looked down at me. Hair fell into his face. His jaw was set. Gently, he took my chin and turned my face to look up at him. “Did he drug you?”

  My lip quivered. “I don’t know.”

  “Shit,” he swore beneath his breath. Squeezing his eyes shut, he cut off the way his irises glittered. Letting go of my chin, his fingers stroked my cheek as he took a deep breath. His eyes reopened as he exhaled slowly. “The last thing I want to do is upset you.”

  “You have a right to know, Nate. I just wish I could tell you more. I wish I knew what I’d been thinking that night.”

  “You weren’t.” He allowed.

  “No. I wasn’t. If I had been, I would never have married him. Please say you believe me.”

  The feeling I got when he dipped his head and I had long moments to anticipate the touch of his lips against mine was like finally arriving at the top of a roller coaster and getting ready to plummet down.

  The kiss was full contact, totally grounding, and settled all that jittery excitement inside me. I’d never known anyone who could rile me up then calm me right back down. I’d never known both those emotions could be equally addicting.

  “I believe you,” he murmured against my lips. “I never had any doubt.”

  Gazing up and him, I pressed my lips together and searched his eyes. “Why?” I asked.

  He lifted a brow.

  I smiled. He was so handsome. Definitely a limited edition. “The rumors, the articles, my quickie wedding, and the way I treated you when we first met. I gave you so many reasons to believe I was exactly who everyone else said I was. Why didn’t you?”

  “You have really nice legs,” he deadpanned.

  Gasping, I reached up and yanked his hair.

  “Ow!” he howled. Beside us, Cheeto perked up to stare. “Save yourself while you can!” Nate told him.

  “Shush.” I admonished, reaching out to scratch the kitten behind his ear. Loud purring filled the room.

  “Traitor.” Nate mumbled and settled back beside me. “Maybe because of Ten. Because I knew behind that media perception, there was a person, someone who was probably entirely different than what everyone believed.”

  “It was because of Ten?” I was considerably underwhelmed by this response.

  “That and the fact that when you ran into me in the hallway—”

  “You ran into me!” I exclaimed.

  He patted my hip as though he were humoring me. “I just knew. I felt something… like a tingle of awareness or something. You felt it, too.”

  I nodded. “I felt it.”

  “Then when I came to your place and you finished my song, it kinda felt like it wasn’t just the song you were completing… but me, too.”

  Well. That answer was so much better.

  “I called my lawyer again today. I left him a less-than-friendly message.” I made a rude sound. “They said he was in a meeting, but he was probably afraid to pick up the phone.” Taking Nate’s face in my palms, I looked into his eyes, holding his stare. “I am getting this annulment.”

  Under my palms, his jaw muscles jumped. “He’s going to keep fighting you.”

  “He won’t win.”

  “Can’t you just say you weren’t of sound mind? You were so drunk you can’t even remember that night?”

  Frustration welled inside me. “I need to be able to prove it. How can I prove something I don’t even remember?”

  He pulled me into his arms, meaning to comfort me. It was hard to find comfort when I felt trapped.

  “I need to just confront him.” I concluded. “Force him to tell me what happened that night.”

  “No.” His voice was hard and finite. “You stay the hell away from him, Aerie. He’s an abusive bastard, and if he even so much as breathes on you, I swear to god—”

  I pressed my hand over his mouth, cutting off his words. I could feel the hard hammering of his heart beneath his ribs.

  He fell silent, and after a moment, I lifted my fingers away. “He’d just lie to you anyway. Can’t believe a freaking thing that comes out of his mouth.”

  I knew Nate was right, yet I still needed proof.

  I just had to figure out where to get it.

  Nate

  The sound of Dad moving around in the kitchen was like the loudest, shrillest alarm there ever was. My eyes popped open, and awareness slammed into me.

  Shit.

  Forget lying here in this too-small bed in bliss; I was waking up beside the girl of my dreams.

  Nope. No bliss for me today.

  Kicking at the covers, I lurched out of bed and fell onto my ass. “Ow!” I muttered and rubbed my back. Another low sound from the kitchen had me scrambling toward the door.

  “Nate?” Aerie asked, her voice still thick with slumber.

  Reversing my scramble, I went back to the bed and dropped a few rapid kisses to her forehead and cheeks. She giggled, and my groin tightened. “I’ll be in the kitchen.” Then I took off again.

  As I ran, I adjusted my junk, realized I had no shirt on, cursed, and grabbed my hoodie as I went out the door. Pulling the material over my bare chest, the scent of my girl enveloped me. Damn, she smelled good. She was going to have to wear this shirt more often.

  Making sure it was somewhat covering my still rocking boner (guess trying to hide it with something that was scented with the object of my desire wasn’t a bright idea), I stepped into the kitchen.

  Dad had his back to me, but his shoulders stiffened the minute I showed up. I grimaced. I fucked up. Big time. The guilt I felt was only compounded by the tautness of his back and the way his neck sort of bunched.

  “Dad.”

  He turned, holding a bowl of cereal. (Not Fruity Pebbles. He ate Raisin Bran. Which, thinking about it, could probably explain some of his mood.)

  “Son,” he intoned.

  Yikes.

  “You forgot s
omething yesterday.”

  My shoulders sagged, and I moved farther into the kitchen, standing beside the basic brown dining table. “I’m sorry. I was on my way to your office, like you asked. Then Ten texted, and I got distracted…” The excuse sounded pathetic even to my own ears.

  “I don’t ask much of you.”

  Without thinking, I made a sound. “No, you just want me to live here forever, not have a life, and spend all my time at school.”

  His spoon clattered into the bowl. Milk splashed up and hit his shirt, but he ignored it. “Finishing school will give you a life. A good one.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to blow you off.”

  He set aside the bowl and regarded me. Already dressed for work, he had on a pair of dark jeans, dark shoes, and a dress shirt. My dad had that kind of shape all the girls swooned over. You know, the wide shoulders that tapered into a narrow waist. The way he dressed only seemed to accentuate that. Despite the fact I knew he could probably be a ladies’ man, he barely dated. I never asked him why. I figured it was because no one could measure up to my mom.

  I got my red hair from her.

  “So why did you?” He crossed his arms over his chest.

  “I just forgot. I was coming, but then Ten texted, and Aerie needed me. I lost track of time. I’m here now, though. We can talk.”

  “I thought she was married.”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “She’s either someone’s wife or she isn’t.”

  Temper flashed through me. “She’s mine.” I was really, really starting to fucking hate Solberg.

  He seemed surprised, banked it, then cocked his head to the side. “I thought I raised you better than to fool around with someone else’s—”

  “If you say she belongs to someone else one more time,” I snarled. “And I’m not fooling around.”

  He raised an eyebrow, something I did quite a lot, but it never seemed to be so condescending when I did it. “You have a cat with her.”

  “I love her,” I snapped, then cleared my throat. In a much more serious tone, I said, “I’m in love with her.”

  His arms fell away from his chest. “It’s been two weeks.”

  “I don’t think it matters.” I knew it didn’t. My head might read the calendar, but my heart had its own timetable. I fell hard. I fell fast. I wasn’t going to apologize for it.

  “How much could you know about her? I mean, I’ve read the press, Nate. This girl—”

  “This girl is going to be in my life for a long, long time. And I know more than you think. Stop reading that media trash. If you want to know something about her, ask me. Ask her.”

  “Are you the guy her husband is claiming she cheated with?”

  “What the fuck, Dad?” I burst out. I could barely believe he just fucking asked me that. The judgement in his voice was fucking outrageous. “First off…” I held up a finger. “The fact you even read that garbage has me concerned. You know exactly what the press did to Ten. You know exactly how untrue that shit was.”

  “Not everything they said about your cousin was a lie.”

  “I’m not him!” I yelled and spread my arms wide. “I’m not some kid sensation whose life changed overnight and I couldn’t handle it.”

  “I know that.”

  I held up another finger and cut him off. “Second of all, Will Solberg is a lying piece of shit who not only hits Aerie, but somehow forced her into a marriage. When she tried to walk away, he sent men with guns to her house in the middle of the night. If I hadn’t been there—”

  “Wait. What?” Dad shoved off the counter, fists balled at his sides.

  “About that… Maybe you and I could get some target practice in at the range.”

  “This is not a joke!” he yelled.

  I held up my hands. “I know.”

  Concern darkened his features. “What happened?”

  I told him about the night at Aerie’s and the real reason I’d brought her here with me. Well, besides the fact I didn’t want to be away from her.

  “This is a matter for the police,” he said, sounding very much like a sensible father.

  “The police are involved. Along with all of Solberg’s money and lawyers,” I muttered darkly.

  “This is exactly why I don’t want you involved in that life. Why you need to drop this all, stay home, and finish college. You can have a good life, son, a quiet life.”

  I smacked my hands on the table and stood up. “I don’t want your life!” I yelled.

  “There something wrong with my life?”

  I slumped. “Of course not, Dad. I know it probably hasn’t been easy raising me without Mom. It’s probably not what you imagined for yourself. I’m not trying to sound ungrateful. Or even unhappy. But I want more.”

  He shook his head once. “I don’t want you involved with her. With any of it.”

  “I am. And I’m not walking away… from any of it. They’re paying me a million dollars to write her album. A million! There are songwriters in L.A. that have been doing this for a decade and still haven’t been able to score this kind of deal. I’m not just some goofball whose dad heads a music department. I’m good at this.” I paced away from him, frustrated and pissed. I wished he could see that. I wished he could be proud of me, impressed with everything I’d accomplished.

  Instead, all he saw was tabloid drama and the kid he used to have to tutor.

  “You think I’m not proud of you?” he asked, his voice much quieter.

  I spun and pinned him with a stare. “Considering all you’ve done is tell me you don’t think I can do this and lecture me about being involved with a ‘married’ woman,” I spat.

  “I never said you couldn’t do it.”

  I scoffed. “No, just that you practically forbid it. And you walk around all frowny faced.” I lowered my voice to impersonate him. “School is life, Nate. School is the be-all end-all of the world.”

  His lips twitched. “I do not sound like that.”

  “Yeah. You do.”

  He came to stand just in front of me. “I know how talented you are. Sometimes it blows my mind. I used to lie awake at night when you were younger and worry that you were going to somehow be discovered. I always tried to figure out how I could protect you from it.”

  I drew back. “Seriously?”

  He nodded once. “It was Ten instead, though. I saw you boys drifting apart as Hollywood pulled at him. I didn’t do anything to stop it. I didn’t support him the way I could have. Maybe if I had, he wouldn’t have had such a rough time.”

  My mind was blown. I had no idea he thought this. But shocked as I was, I still knew one thing. “What went down with Ten wasn’t your fault.”

  “I had to make a choice. You or him. I was worried if I stepped into that life with him, you would get pulled down, too. So I stayed out of it. And I watched your cousin, who was more like your brother, drift away…”

  I tackle-hugged him. His body swayed when I slammed into him, patting him on the back. “That’s some deep shit, dad!”

  He made a sound between a laugh and a groan, and I pulled back.

  “I made a promise to your mother, Nathan.”

  My eyes widened. He never used my full name. Hell, sometimes I forgot that was my full name.

  “I promised her on her deathbed that I would watch out for you. That I would raise you right and would keep you safe. It’s all she wanted.”

  I sniffled, using the sleeve of the hoodie to swipe at my face. The scent of my girl wrapped around me, drawing me up short.

  For a long time, I only ever saw it from my point of view. A kid who lost his mom too early. A boy who sometimes wished he still had the love of his mother.

  Now I was older. Now I was standing in front of a man who made a deathbed promise to a woman he still hadn’t moved on from. Even after all these years.

  I thought of Aerie lying in the bedroom, beneath the blankets, where she’d just been in my arms. I put myself in my f
ather’s shoes… in the perspective of a man in love.

  The instant terror and pain I felt drew me up short.

  My mother was his Aerie. He had to watch her die, unable to do anything to stop the cancer that attacked her from the inside out.

  I couldn’t even imagine. The thought of never seeing Aerie again left me cold, my hands shaking and fear clawing at the back of my throat.

  And then to be faced with the absolution of her not surviving and being left with something—with someone who was a living piece of her. I’d protect that piece with my dying breath.

  I was that piece, the last remaining portion my father had of my mother.

  “I’m sorry, Dad,” I said, sincerity ringing in my tone. “I understand now, in a way I never could have before. You just want to protect me, and by doing that, you protect her.”

  He blinked. “You really are in love with her.”

  I nodded slowly. “I really am.”

  He sighed and paced away, staring down at the half-eaten, likely mushy cereal in his bowl. Silence was loud through the kitchen as we both stood there digesting.

  We were at an impasse, weren’t we? I felt stuck. Stuck between the woman my father loved and the woman I loved.

  “Your mother would be so proud of you.” He spoke, not turning around. “Of everything you’ve accomplished and of everything you will.”

  “I’ll finish school,” I said as heaviness wrapped around me, making it a little hard to breathe. Was this what doing the right thing felt like? Heavy?

  “Yes. You will.” He turned from the counter. “But not until after you write this album.”

  My mouth fell open.

  “And get that scumbag away from your girl.”

  I pointed to the fact that my mouth fell open.

  Dad chuckled and rolled his eyes. “You remind me of your mother.”

  A small ache pierced through some of the awe I was feeling. My mouth snapped shut, and I took a step forward. “Dad.”

  “Don’t Dad me,” he said sternly. “This is what you wanted.”

  I nodded, feeling guilty. It was what I wanted, but I didn’t want my own happiness to come at his expense.

  He sighed, as if knowing the direction my thoughts were taking me. “You’re twenty-two years old, son. A grown man. I know I treat you like you aren’t, but I know better. Maybe clinging to your life was easier for me than facing my own.”