Just the Way You Are (Seasons of Hope Book 2)

by Jessica R. Patch

She closed the door and her tires crunched over the gravel, leaving dust in their wake as she drove from the cemetery. Gabe felt the irony down to his bones. Something had been brought to life between them and he didn’t plan on letting it wilt.

  ***

  Stepping into her childhood home, the smell of cinnamon and vanilla brought back good memories. Mom had called after she left the cemetery.

  Audrey touched her lips. That kiss. That. Kiss.

  She’d made terrible mistakes, and they’d hurt a lot of people. But she could make this thing ride all the way off into the sunset. She could be everything Gabe needed. All she had to do was work on being the right kind of woman.

  Mom stepped out of the laundry room, red-rimmed eyes and mussed hair. Jo had her sandy brown hair, but Audrey had inherited her blue eyes. “What’s wrong? What’s happened?”

  Mom hugged Audrey. “I got laid off at the plant this morning.”

  No. Mom worked about thirty minutes away since she and Dad divorced. “I’m so sorry.” She could so relate, too. “What are you going to do?”

  “I don’t know.” She motioned for Audrey to have a seat at the kitchen table nestled in front of the bay window that overlooked the backyard. Mom put a kettle of water on the stove for tea and wrung her hands together. “I have a house and car payment that won’t go away. I told Jo and he offered for me to come and stay with him and Celeste, but I don’t want to intrude on their lives. You know? They have a young family.”

  Audrey knew. It’s why she didn’t mention anything about her predicament, but any day now the Harris sisters were going public and the world would know. They wouldn’t all fit at Jo’s. “Will you have to move?”

  “If I can’t make the payment. I can see about unemployment, but it won’t be enough to keep up with my bills, and I didn’t get any severance but that’s the way the cookie crumbled. Plus, my insurance will run out. It costs an arm and leg now. I just don’t know what to do.” She sighed and took the kettle from the stove when it whistled.

  Audrey could invite her to her place, but she only had one bedroom and it wouldn’t matter anyway. Come May she was homeless, too.

  “God will work it out. I know it.” She believed.

  “I know. I’m still worried, though.” She poured them each a cup of chamomile tea and brought a sugar bowl to the table. “I’ll start putting in applications, but I’m already behind on so many bills.” Dad hadn’t left Mom with much and she’d racked up a good bit of debt in medical bills and paying for grandma’s assisted living care.

  They drank their tea in silence. “Mom, I think I’m going to put flowers on April’s grave once a month instead of every few days. Is that…is that okay with you?”

  Mom stopped mid-sip and peered over her steaming cup of tea. “Honey, I never thought you should do that. I figured if it made you feel better, made you feel close to April, then who was I to tell you not to. Why have you decided this?”

  Audrey closed her eyes, a tear slipped free. “I’ve felt guilty. I shouldn’t have turned that heater on. I should have been obedient. I just ran. I ran for my life and never thought about hers.”

  Mom put her cup down, came around the table and gathered Audrey in her arms. “My sweet baby girl, is that why you’ve been doing that? Oh honey. We never ever blamed you. It was an accident. What ten-year-old wouldn’t run?” She rocked Audrey in her arms and kissed her forehead. “I love you. Dad loves you.”

  “But he left. If I hadn’t messed with that stupid heater…”

  Mom’s embrace tightened and she sniffed. “Baby, your dad and I were having problems before that ever happened. We just tried to keep it from you kids until we’d made a decision.”

  So it wasn’t Audrey’s fault for Dad walking out. A weight lifted. “I just needed you to know. Today, I sort of had a moment. Gabe came to the cemetery and—”

  “Gabe, our pastor?”

  “You know we don’t know any other Gabe. He helped me see that I’m not really putting down the flowers for April, or even to make me feel better, but to punish myself. I don’t want to do that anymore—punish myself for April.” But was she still punishing herself for what happened with her English professor or the break-up with Foster?

  No.

  She’d kissed Gabe. Made her choice. She could change. Be the woman he deserved. She wasn’t Sierra Bradley, but Gabe hadn’t chosen tomato basil. He’d chosen…chicken noodle.

  “Good for you. I always thought he was someone worthy of pursuing. Are you two an item?” She grinned.

  “I think so. I mean, I’m pretty sure.” He did kiss her into another planet and they were having dinner tonight. She needed to talk to Eden. Big time.

  “I’ll have you two over for dinner one night. It’ll be nice to get my mind off my own problems.”

  Audrey was thinking the same thing about her own problems. “Mom, I have some money that could tide you over and help you out while you’re—”

  “No, baby. I don’t want your money. I’ll be okay. I just wanted to see my little girl and have some tea. Tell me more about you and the pastor. June wedding? Just kidding.”

  “I’m serious. I want you to have it.” Mom deserved it and Audrey had a better shot at finding a job than her sixty-two year old mother. “Please, Mom.”

  Fresh tears fell. “I feel so terrible.”

  “Don’t.” As soon as Audrey left here, she was going to withdraw her nest egg and help cushion her mother. She could start job hunting outside of town. There were plenty of florist shops in Chicago. The commute wasn’t ideal but doable, and if worse came to worst, she’d shack up at Eden and Knox’s place until she could find something. For the first time since she lost her job and home, she was hopeful about the future.

  “Thank you, honey. I don’t know how to repay you.”

  “Consider it a gift. Besides, I’ve messed up enough that I owe you.” She kissed her mother’s cheek.

  “Are you referring to why you came home after one semester of college? I know a man was involved, Audrey. A hunch tells me it has to do with why you and Foster broke up. But I’m not going to push.”

  “Good.” She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Because that’s long past. I’m starting over.” Today was a new day. She was going to talk Eden into helping her start by giving her cooking lessons. Next sick person or new mother wasn’t getting flowers but a homemade casserole or dessert. An edible one. She could do this. She had this.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Monday had rolled into Thursday and Audrey had spent hours with Eden learning the basic soup recipe. She’d collected all the names of the Easter bonnet participants and assigned each one a number. The bake sale was ready to go. The coloring sheets had been printed and the library had agreed to let them do that part inside. Seemed like all was on target. She even kept her mouth shut except for appropriate cheers during the second pre-season game Tuesday night. No pom-poms and mama jokes for her anymore. It kinda felt weird, but hey, she might be a pretty decent pastor’s wife after all. If the relationship progressed and Gabe ever proposed. He wasn’t the kind of man to kiss a woman like that without having respectful intentions.

  They’d had dinner together every night and a few lunches. Talk was buzzing around town. They’d made it official. They were a couple. She’d been asked endless questions and she was sure Gabe had as well, but that’s what happened when you dated an important man. People wanted to know.

  Audrey had kept her secrets buried and was making herself exactly how she ought to be. She couldn’t tell if Sierra Bradley was upset about it or not, but it didn’t appear that she had hurt feelings.

  She’d put her application in at a few florist shops in Chicago and one about thirty minutes south. Truth was, she didn’t want either job, but she didn’t get a choice. She’d given Mom the nest egg and felt good about it. It was the right thing.

  Eden had called her two hours ago. Mindy Persowski had come home with her new baby and they needed a meal. Audrey had the soup
on simmer and was finishing up the final touches on the prayer garden blueprints. Between kisses, she and Gabe really had worked on it.

  Centerfield by Fogerty sounded. Audrey grinned and dashed for the phone, tripping over Friedrich and eliciting a snotty hiss. Delilah soaked in the sun. The cold gusts of wind weren’t over but it was sunshiny and in the mid-sixties. Audrey could so get with that. If it’d only stay that way. Fat chance. The warm spell was going out and snow would probably be sweeping in again. Bummer. She answered Gabe’s call.

  “Hey, what’s up?”

  “I had a minute and thought you might want to get dinner. I missed you today.”

  Her heart was officially a puddle. “Sounds great, but I have to run a pot of soup over to Mindy’s house. I’m the dinner committee.”

  Silence hung on the line and then Gabe chuckled. “But you don’t cook.”

  Audrey grinned. “I learned. Aren’t you proud?”

  “Um…sure. I can drop you by the house. I need to see them again anyway. I’ll be there in about twenty minutes. Good for you?”

  “You’re good for me.” She hung up and sniffed. That didn’t smell right. Racing to the kitchen, she found the broth boiling over the pot and sizzling onto the oven surface. She turned on the range hood fan and yanked off the lid, shrieking as it charred her fingertips.

  Grabbing the pot holders, Audrey lifted the pot from the stove and sat it on the counter. Taking a whiff, there was no doubt. It was burned on the bottom and the noodles had cooked down into nothing, turning the broth that remained cloudy and thick.

  No! She squeezed her eyes shut. She didn’t have time to make more soup. But this is what good pastors’ wives did. They baked and cooked and sang specials on Sundays or played the organ. Audrey couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket and the only instrument she played was air guitar. She so had that down.

  She opened up her pantry and found several cans of her kind of soup. Progresso. Maybe she could add a few extra spices—did she even have spices?—and make it taste homemade-ish. Grabbing a new pot, she emptied the contents inside and put it on the burner to heat, watching it like a hawk while she ran cold water over her reddened fingers.

  Why had she thought she could pull this off? How had she turned it on HIGH and not LOW? Sheesh! The knock sent her springing into the air.

  Gabe.

  No way was he going to see this disaster. She shoved the pot of nightmare soup into the fridge and opened her cabinet. Parsley flakes. Why did she have parsley flakes? She dumped a load into the soup. Green meant more homemade, right?

  She ran to the front door and opened it, pasting an easy-going grin on her face.

  “What’s the matter?” Gabe asked and stepped inside.

  “Nothing. Why do you say that?” She mentally kicked herself. Why did this guy read her so well? “I’m almost ready.”

  Gabe headed into the kitchen and stared into the pot then sniffed. “What did you do?”

  “I added a little more parsley than called for. I think it’ll still be tasty.” She grabbed a box of crackers from the pantry. “Looks good, huh?”

  His skeptical glance had her turning away. “Don’t you usually make a baby flower arrangement with diapers or something?”

  “Yes, but any florist can do that. I wanted to bring food. They need food not flowers.”

  He studied her with wary eyes and something she couldn’t quite place.

  “Soup’s on! I’ve always wanted to say that.” She cleared her throat and fussed at Delilah who rubbed against Gabe’s legs. “Go on, girl. You’ll shed all over his jeans.” Nice jeans, too, with frayed edges and faded along the thighs, and probably the backside. She really shouldn’t be looking at that. Didn’t mean she wouldn’t, though.

  “You want me to carry this to the car?”

  “Would you?”

  He leaned down and kissed her. “You look gorgeous if I haven’t already told you.”

  “You haven’t.” She’d worn a soft blue baby doll dress and a pair of chunky silver heels.

  “Maybe you should do a little turn for me.” A playful smirk twitched.

  Cheeks heating, Audrey played along and slowly turned then held her hands out in a ta-da fashion when she came full circle.

  “I might need to see it one more time,” he teased and kissed her again. “Let’s get this to the Persowski’s. How’s steak sound for us?”

  “I’m a fan of steak.” She followed him out the door and down the back steps of the florist shop. She kept the pot in between her feet and crossed her fingers. Surely, they wouldn’t know it was canned. Inside, Gabe took the pot to the kitchen while Audrey ooohed and aaahed over the newest addition to the Persowski family.

  “I hope you enjoy the soup. It’s not much.” Audrey shrugged.

  “It’ll be wonderful. I didn’t know you cooked. I was expecting that darling diaper and flower wreath you make. I remember hanging it on Amberlynn’s door when she was born. It smelled so good. Baby powder and baby bud roses.”

  Audrey was surprised Mindy even remembered that. Amberlynn was almost ten now. Or eleven? “Oh, well…if I knew how much it meant to you I could have. I still can.”

  Mindy’s eyes lit up. “Would you, Aud? I’d love to have a photo for Silas’ baby book, and I could always use the extra diapers when the flowers die and then press the petals into the book. It’s such a thoughtful idea and a great keepsake.”

  Gabe’s arm came around Audrey and his eyes sparkled as if he’d known this all along. Maybe she should have stuck to what she knew. The soup wasn’t even for real.

  “I’ll do it tomorrow morning.” She gave the little guy one more kiss to his chubby cheeks before Mindy shoved him in Gabe’s arms.

  “When’s the next baby dedication, Pastor Gabe?” Mindy asked.

  “Sunday after Easter,” he said in a hushed tone. Audrey’s stomach squeezed watching him with this little cherub. A total natural. “He’s handsome. I love babies.”

  Mindy smirked. “Well, who knows maybe you’ll have one soon enough.” She winked at Audrey. “You like babies, Audrey? Seems like I remember you doing a bit of babysitting in the day.”

  Audrey’s face flushed. “I do.” I do. Whoa. Those words sent a flutter into her ribs. She’d almost I do’ed with Foster Hillingsworth. She’d at least need to tell Gabe that much. She owed him the news that she’d been engaged once, and that it had ended in disaster. But with that truth the reason behind the break up would come, and that wasn’t something she was ready to discuss yet.

  Down the road…at some point…

  ***

  Gabe had slunk down in the red vinyl booth, flipping through a book while drinking a cup of coffee after his sandwich, minding his own business until Audrey’s name came up in the booth behind him.

  “It was canned soup. Mindy cracked up but really that’s deceitful, don’t you think?” Angie Delgatto must not have a clue that behind the tall-backed booth, Gabe heard every word.

  Sierra Bradley and Tanya Veltz sat in the booth with her. Sierra snickered. “I think it’s cute. She just wanted to do something nice and they did get fed.”

  Thank you, Sierra, for coming to the rescue.

  Why had Audrey done that? Didn’t she realize that people loved her for her unique gifts and talents? So she couldn’t cook or bake—which was kind of cute—she still spread joy and blessed others with what she was good at.

  “I think it’s because of Pastor Gabe,” Tanya said, “I mean, hello, he must have said something to her about yelling at games—notice she hasn’t—and cooking and sitting in the front row. Audrey Gilbraith has been on time to church on a Sunday morning. I bet he’s giving her a personal wake-up call.” She giggled and Angie laughed with her.

  “If you are insinuating what I think you are,” Sierra said, “then shame on you both. Audrey would never and neither would Pastor Gabe. You guys need to get your minds out of the gutter.”

  Well said, Sierra.

  “Oh he might not, b
ut that’s not what I heard about Audrey,” Angie replied. “I had lunch with an old friend last week who worked on the Hillingsworth’s campaign. She had lots to say about those two. Who knows, maybe Audrey thought it was going to last forever. She did have the ring.”

  “Okay, I’m not comfortable with all this talk.” Sierra was going to bat for Audrey and Gabe. “We don’t know that it’s true, and even so it was years ago. Can we change the subject, please?”

  “Sure,” Angie said.

  “You’ll fill me in later though, right?” Tanya asked.

  “Of course.”

  Gabe’s tuna on wheat curdled in his stomach. Every word replayed in his head, punching his gut. Thanks to Betsy, Audrey’s engagement was no secret. He was being patient, waiting for her to tell him in her own time. It was who she’d been engaged to that was a secret. Congressman Hillingsworth?

  Not good.

  Connie Dilworth informed Gabe that the congressman was coming through several small towns and Mistletoe was on the list. Gabe had called and touched base to inquire about the congressman participating as a judge.

  He’d been more than willing. Was it because he knew he’d see Audrey again? Gabe closed the book he’d been reading and swallowed the mountainous lump constricting this throat.

  Now what was he supposed to do? He’d have to call and try to cancel. If it wasn’t too late.

  Gabe laid his money on the table and slunk away, hoping the gaggle of blabbermouths at the table wouldn’t spot him. He made it out of the diner when he rammed straight into Leonard Davis.

  Just what he needed.

  “Hey, Pastor Gabe. I was meaning to talk to you.”

  Of course he was. “About what?”

  “Well, actually, we’d like to schedule a meeting. Tonight okay?” Leonard’s gray eyes held back his intentions, but the grimace on his face sent another wave of dread into Gabe’s chest.

  “We? You and Betsy?”

  “No. We the board. Five o’clock?”

  Gabe’s throat turned to sandpaper. “In regards to?”

  “Let’s just talk then.” He clapped Gabe’s shoulder and nodded then kept moving. Did they know about Audrey? Was this about Audrey? Was this about Hillingsworth coming to the festival? Surely, Connie Dilworth had told Betsy. Had Connie set Gabe up to invite him on purpose? All sorts of crazy scenarios raced through his mind.