Just the Way You Are (Seasons of Hope Book 2)

by Jessica R. Patch

  His eyebrows twitched and his lips drooped before he headed for the judges’ table by the stage. Gabe sat in a chair, watching them. What must he think?

  She had to get out of here. Needed breathing room. Pivoting, she knocked right into Marla Veltz.

  “Audrey, I’ve been looking for you! I never got to thank you for the flowers you brought to the house. You have no idea how much that meant to me. More than anything. After everyone left and all the food was put away, we sat around that display and reminisced for hours—the family—we all had a story to tell. Every single bloom gave us a cherished memory. Some I’d forgotten.”

  Audrey fought the burning tears. “I’m so glad, Marla. I loved your mom very much.”

  “She loved you. I think we really had some good healing time because of what you did. I’ll never, ever forget it.” Grabbing Audrey by her shoulders, she embraced her to the point she really did need air—and not in the metaphorical way. It soothed her soul somehow hearing that.

  A little boy busted out of the car with a paper mâchè egg hat on his head—a cracked egg shell painted in pastels. Audrey burst into laughter, and Marla turned and joined in with her. “I love the Easter hat parade.”

  “Have you seen Nelda yet?” Audrey asked.

  “Chiquita banana lady?” Marla snorted.

  “That’d be her.”

  Corey Phillips waved, a brown plastic pot over his head, the face cut out and the tulip flower arrangement she’d made sticking out of the top. She waved back. He motioned to Greta, the girlfriend, wearing a pink T-shirt with Darth Vader on the front. She’d fashioned her hair to look like Princess Leia, using silk flowers glued to ear muffs. “I’m diggin’ it, you guys!”

  Maybe not everyone in the town thought badly of her.

  Dozens of little girls in Easter bonnets skipped by, flowers glued to the tops, and Cassie James came out of Walter McMahan’s construction business with the biggest hat Audrey had ever laid eyes on.

  “Holy Crow!” Audrey’s jaw dropped.

  Cassie did a turn. “What do you think? It started out as a flower halo, but then I couldn’t get it right. So I kept adding more flowers, and more, and more, and you get the picture. Next thing I know, it’s like the tower of flower Babel on my head. What are ya gonna do, right?”

  Cassie was the tower of Babble. “What’s that weigh?” Depending on what Cassie used to secure the flowers in place, it might be a pinched neck waiting to happen. Audrey stepped closer to inspect the hat. The flower arrangement was at least three feet tall with turquoise and violet bows. Like skittles headwear. Cassie kept her hand on it.

  “It’s not as heavy as it looks, but the wobble factor is off the chain. So, where’s my marker? I’m not sure where I’m supposed to stand.”

  Audrey shook her head. That hat. She glanced at her clipboard. “You’re number twelve.” She pointed near the stage, caught Gabe and Foster talking. Her heart squeezed and her stomach turned.

  She hurried to the stage area where Sierra Bradley held a microphone. “You just give me the nod, Aud.”

  Audrey smirked. This year she thought it’d be a hoot to walk in front of the judges to live music and she’d prepared the perfect song. “Give me a few minutes to get everything in order. Thanks for stepping in for Eloise.”

  “I think it’s hilarious. I’m happy to do it.” Sierra smiled and glanced over at Gabe then back to Audrey. “I heard, Aud. About the meeting.”

  Audrey’s face filled with heat. “How did you hear?” She shook her head. “Never mind. I know.” Alan’s wife, Dee Dee was Sierra’s good friend. Alan was a board member.

  “Dee was beside herself. She didn’t agree with Connie or Betsy. I support you. You and Gabe one hundred percent.” Sierra climbed down the stage stairs. “Audrey, I don’t know what happened in your past, but I think you’re wonderful and since you’ve been seeing Gabe, he’s shining.”

  Audrey’s throat constricted. “I thought…I thought you might—”

  “Be interested?” She touched her forearm. “What single woman wouldn’t want a godly man, not to mention an attractive man, as her husband?”

  “You’d be better for him.” Audrey couldn’t believe that popped out. But it was the truth. “I mean you’re thoughtful, and you think ahead, and you can sing. Man, I’d kill for your voice and the way you cook. Sheesh!”

  Sierra smiled. “Big deal. I can bring a casserole and I can bring ice. Or sing a song written by someone else, but look at what you can do. Those flowers at Marla’s? Wow. The way you can create and use that beauty for God. It’s nothing short of amazing.”

  Audrey stood stupefied. “You think what I do is…ministry?”

  Sierra laughed. “Do you do it for God? For His people?”

  Well…yeah. She nodded. Of course. “Yes.”

  “Then there’s your answer.” She looked up. “Is that Cassie James?”

  Audrey laughed. “Yes. I think she has Nelda beat.”

  “I heard the market sold out of fruit two days ago.” Sierra giggled and Audrey smiled.

  “Thank you. For everything.”

  “You got it.”

  Even if what Sierra said was true, and that was something to think about, it didn’t change the fact that the board had the power. And Gabe was meant to be a pastor.

  ***

  Gabe hadn’t been able to cancel Hillingsworth coming as a judge. He’d only hoped the congressman would keep his distance from Audrey. Nope. Gabe had caught him talking with Audrey at the cake table. Flirting even! After the torment he’d put her through. The man grinned and acted like they were old friends. He’d been sitting beside the guy now for five minutes. He couldn’t be sure if Hillingsworth felt the tension, but Gabe’s insides were crawling. Did this man want to try and get back together with her?

  “I saw you talking with Audrey Gilbraith,” Gabe said, his palms turning clammy.

  Foster tipped the right corner of his mouth up. “I see you’ve heard we were involved. Towns like this…talk.”

  Gabe’s neck flamed. “I was just curious about what happened.” What was Hillingsworth’s side of the story? “Rumors have flitted around. It appears all is well and that you parted amicably.” Yeah right. “But does anyone part amicably?”

  Foster perused the line of Easter bonnet participants, stopping as Audrey bent and helped a little one fix her hat. “I don’t suppose they do. Truth is I made a mistake. I figure I can tell you because of the confidentiality between clergy and laymen.”

  Gabe frowned. He didn’t like the way he studied Audrey. It was entirely too familiar. “I’m not going to divulge.”

  “My parents thought Audrey’s small-town background would hurt me in the end. I thought she was relatable to the people. Child of divorce. Average income. A florist.”

  “You chose her for the popular vote?” He might have to pretend for a second he wasn’t a preacher and punch this slimy politician out cold.

  “No. I chose her because she made me happy. She’s fun and silly and everything I was never allowed to be. Everything I can’t be. Because if I shoot my mouth off, I end up all over the papers. They were afraid that would happen with her.” He chuckled. “Probably would, too.”

  She did love yo’ mama jokes. That wouldn’t go over well in Congress.

  “But I hung on because she was breathing room, you know?”

  Did he ever. The fact this man did, too, irked him. “So you changed your mind after you proposed?”

  “I ran for Congress and my mother pulled Audrey’s skeletons out of the closet.” His jaw twitched. “I didn’t have a choice.”

  Skeletons that would keep a man from marrying someone he claimed was his breathing room? “But it was her past.” Not that he was complaining or trying to persuade the man to back-pedal and go after her again.

  “You carry your past into the present and future, Pastor. You can’t hide from it. With that saddled to my campaign…I couldn’t win.” Foster exhaled and waved to a crowd memb
er, a shiny smile on his face.

  Gabe didn’t agree with that at all. Yes, the past might affect the future, but it didn’t have to hold anyone back. Not even Foster.

  “It was hard on us both. I regret it. Regret what she did in college. We could have had a different ending.” Foster straightened his tie as Audrey glanced up. Panic flooded her face and she raced toward the stage, waving at Sierra Bradley.

  Foster regretted what Audrey did? “I’m sure Audrey isn’t the only one with skeletons in the closet, Congressman.”

  “No, but it was hers that kept us apart.”

  Music cued and Sierra began singing “In Your Easter Bonnet.”

  The crowd erupted in laughter and applause as the participants paraded from the sidewalk, across the stage, and past the judges’ table. Gabe laughed and Foster grinned and shook his head. “That’s nothing short of Audrey Gilbraith right there.”

  Because of Foster’s unwillingness to forgive Audrey’s past, he’d never get to experience all the amazingness that was Audrey Gilbraith. If Gabe caved to the board and their wishes, he’d lose his breathing room, too. He’d end up like Foster Hillingsworth. Living with regrets and without the best thing that ever happened to him.

  CHAPTER NINE

  Easter morning came. Audrey had been up before sunrise but missed the sunrise service at church. She’d go to the ten a.m. service and not be late. She’d debated on going at all. Yesterday only held a few awkward moments when she bumped into Betsy Davis and Connie Dilworth at the craft table. Betsy acted as if nothing had happened while Connie gave her the eye. Audrey had done her best to ignore them both. However, the town and the church members treated her no differently.

  Now, on her second cup of tea, she sat on the small balcony of her apartment with both kitties in her lap and the Bible on the wrought iron table beside her. The morning was chilly but the temps were supposed to be beautiful which made her happy. She’d purchased a pair of open-toed white sling backs with a bow on the top and a little shimmer to dress them up, not caring if she had to wear them in a foot of snow. Thankfully, she didn’t.

  Last night, after the festival’s success and Cassie winning the prize for the best Easter bonnet, she’d come over and given Audrey a French pedicure. Looked good, too. Sipping her lukewarm tea, she thought about Chicago. No more quiet mornings. A sinking feeling lodged in her abdomen. She loved Mistletoe. Hated to leave. But she needed a job and a place to live and without her nest egg…

  Today was going to be her last day at Abundant Life. She’d go and sit in the back.

  Gabe had begged her not to leave that day she tore down his driveway, but he hadn’t called her, and he didn’t even try to speak to her at the festival. Maybe he was mad she hadn’t stayed. Audrey hadn’t wanted to come inside and help him figure it out. The selfish side of her wanted him to call it a no-brainer and choose her. The nicer side recognized the man had a calling on his life. So it had to be God. The church had to be his choice.

  “Why does there have to be a mark on me? Why can’t I be enough?”

  You are all fair, My love, and there is no spot in you.

  She’d just read that in Song of Solomon. Her heart stood on the truth that she’d been forgiven. Her head had a harder time coming to terms with it. Audrey wiped her eyes, nudged her cats off her lap and carried her Bible and tea cup to the kitchen. “Lord, I do love You and I’m thankful that You died for me. For my sins. Help me get past it. On this resurrection Sunday. Help me.”

  She slipped on her new Easter dress. White with big blooming turquoise and navy flowers covering top to bottom. After straight-ironing her hair, she grabbed her navy sweater, Bible and purse, and headed to church.

  Inside, Eden met her at the door but Audrey had no plans to sit on the front row, and she opted for an aisle seat near the side door. The stage looked lovely. Cassie had done a beautiful job draping the wooden cross with purple fabric and then lining potted lilies along the stage. Audrey had made two floral crosses to be positioned on each side of the stage. The sanctuary smelled like springtime. Like new life.

  Sierra Bradley took the stage with the worship team and led them in a contemporary medley of “The Old Rugged Cross,” “Nothing but the Blood,” and “Amazing Grace.” Audrey closed her eyes and worshipped. Her sins were gone. Because of grace. Warm tears streaked her cheeks as she worshipped her King. And then they sang “Just As I Am.” All three verses and with each one, Audrey’s chest bubbled. God had rid her of sin and cleansed her. It was time to forgive herself.

  Gabe took the stage and her heart tripped. The beard was looking so great. Just a hair past scruffy, his hair a little longer, too, and a bit disheveled on purpose. It took a real man to wear a fitted lavender shirt, and his dark, dressy denim jeans sent a silent dreamy sigh through her.

  “Today’s message comes from Second Kings chapter four, verse two.” He flipped his Bible open, the sound of pages turning echoed in the room. “So Elisha said to her, ‘What shall I do for you? Tell me, what do you have in the house?’ And she said, ‘Your maidservant has nothing in the house but a jar of oil.’”

  Gabe found her sitting in the crowd; his sight rested on her a beat. “Not exactly a typical Easter message, but I find it a timely message today.”

  Betsy and Leonard Davis sat next to the Dilworths on the second row behind Knox and Eden. Attentive. As if they hadn’t threatened Gabe or crushed Audrey.

  Gabe closed his eyes and opened them. “We just sang one of my favorite hymns. ‘Just As I Am.’ We can come to God in whatever state we find ourselves in. Whether we feel on top of the world or depressed, defeated, and downtrodden. The widow didn’t think she had anything to offer this man of God. Nothing to contribute to the work of the Lord, but she was wrong. She had a jar of oil. One little jar that she didn’t think twice about. It was common. Something she used every day. Maybe she even took that jar of oil for granted.”

  Audrey shifted in her seat as Sierra Bradley’s words came back about her flower arrangements, her tokens. All she knew to do, all she knew to give.

  “It was all she had, but she offered it willingly, and God created a miracle. Maybe you’re here today and you don’t think…” His voice cracked and he took a deep breath. Audrey didn’t fight the stinging tears. It was Gabe speaking but her heart heard God’s voice. “You don’t think you have anything to offer. That you’re common. Ordinary, or not what others think you ought to be. You think you’re not enough. I want you to know, that you’re not. You’re not good enough. I’m not good enough. None of us are good enough. But God is. God is enough and He wants us. In our brokenness. In our confusion. In our weakness. It’s in our weakness that we’re made strong. His grace covers our imperfections.”

  Audrey wiped her eyes and clamped down on the inside of her lip to keep it from trembling. God was enough. And He wanted her.

  Gabe finished his message and the keyboard player returned to the stage and played softly as Gabe continued to speak. “I love you all. I was nervous moving to a new town. Especially since no one here seems to love my Florida Gators.”

  The congregation laughed, including the Davises and the Dilworths.

  “You’ve been so good to me. Allowing me to come and shake things up a bit. Change is hard. I should know. After my wife died, my world changed. It took time to heal and realize I could still trust God with my life—with my future.”

  Audrey glanced around the room. No dry eye. Even Betsy was crying. Well, Connie’s eyes were dry.

  “I’m trusting Him again today when I say with a heavy heart, that this is my last sermon behind this pulpit.” Tears gleamed in his eyes as he met Audrey’s. “I’ve treasured this small season of time and you’ll always be in my prayers.”

  He was leaving! He couldn’t. The people needed him. After such a beautiful sermon, it was clear where he belonged. But he’d chosen her. She couldn’t sit still any longer and she hurriedly slipped out the side door. She wasn’t sure what to do with this. If Gabe
was trusting God, then she would, too.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Gabe’s voice continued to trip up, but what hurt him most was seeing Audrey leave. Had she heard a word he’d said? Had God weaved the truth into her heart, that she was indeed enough? The choice, in the end, hadn’t been hard to make. It was Audrey. Always Audrey. He’d been reading about the one sheep going astray and the shepherd leaving all the rest to go after it. While it may not have been in the exact same context, it had spoken to him. Late last night when he’d been praying through groans and tears.

  He’d leave the ninety-nine to go after the one. The one who had just fled through the side door.

  Shock had registered on almost every face, and he had a hard time looking into the eyes of the ones who’d come to mean so much to him. But this was the right decision, and peace had sent him into an easy sleep last night.

  However, seeing Audrey bolt had him in knots. What if she didn’t care?

  Trust Me. Trust Me.

  The worship team came and began their closing song. He wasn’t waiting around to hear a million “sorries” and “miss yous.” He slipped out the side door while heads were bowed and jogged through the foyer, searching for her.

  Yesterday had been one of the most painful days of his life. Seeing Audrey shine like a sunrise on a cloudy horizon, she made the Easter festival a huge hit. Not one person hadn’t been touched by her energy and charisma. But he’d given her space.

  Foster had loved Audrey, and he’d let his parents and campaign manager fill his head with ideas about her dragging him down, about the people turning their backs on a man who married an adulteress—even when Foster knew that’s not what Audrey really was, but a naïve kid who’d been lied to and manipulated.

  Foster said it was the biggest mistake of his life.

  Gabe was thankful. If Foster hadn’t made the mistake, Gabe wouldn’t be hunting through the parking lot right now for the love of his life.

  Home. She must have taken off for home. Or Chicago. She’d accepted the job. The stabbing pain seared into his bones. Well, fine then.