The Darkest Secret lotu-8

by Джена Шоуолтер

  The scroll from the backpack. She’d asked for instructions on how to successfully navigate the next realm, and the backpack had provided them. Only, the instructions had been convoluted and asinine.

  ~You must see~

  See through the shadows? Sure. His pleasure. He’d taken the scroll from her as he’d wondered how. A flashlight? Shockingly, the moment the question had formed in his mind, ink had begun dripping over the paper, new words forming.

  ~All of you~

  Another convoluted answer. Still. He’d demanded the backpack provide him with a light source that would push through the darkness, but nothing had filled the pack. Which had to mean a flashlight wouldn’t work. Which also had to mean the pack could not provide «all of you.» And that had to mean he already had «all of you,» whatever it was, because the pack was here to help them and wouldn’t leave them in the lurch.

  He’d then returned his attention to the scroll and demanded to know what awaited them in the shadows if they failed to find the mysterious, all of you light. Once again, ink had dripped down the tattered, yellow page.

  ~Death~

  Then he’d demanded to know what «all of you» meant.

  ~All of you~

  Funny. All of him — his body, perhaps?

  «We must see. We must use all of you, or us,» Haidee said, words trembling from her and bringing him back to the present. «I still don’t know what that means.»

  Him either, but he didn’t tell her that. Keep your fingers hooked on my belt loop. Whatever happens, we can’t be separated.

  «All — all right.»

  When she complied, removing her free hand from his still burning erection, he released her other one and gingerly started forward. He kept his arms outstretched, hoping to feel his way.

  Soon he noticed that as quickly as the darkness had arrived, it was dissipating in spots, leaving little pockets of light. Would have been wonderful, except shadows danced around the light — and those shadows had fangs.

  Something sharp sliced into his arm, and he mentally cursed. He shoved Haidee into one of those golden beams, but the beam moved several inches away, returning her to the dark. Something else sliced into his arm. The fangs, he was sure. They must have gotten Haidee, too, because she stiffened, moaned.

  Damn this!

  What should I do? he demanded of his demon, abandoning thoughts about «all of you.» They’d gotten him nowhere. As Strider would say, the backpack and scroll could suck it.

  At first, Secrets remained silent, still. Sleeping? Now? Or was Amun’s other half still beaten to the back of his mind with the others? But the demon must have been searching for answers because suddenly Amun knew to follow the light. The shadows weren’t allowed to touch — or bite — anything in the center of those glowing pools.

  He watched the macabre dance of light and dark for a moment, enduring several more nibbles, until Secrets locked on a pattern.

  Move with me, Haidee. Now! Amun leapt forward, straight into the center of one of those beams. Haidee remained directly behind him. One second, two, he waited. Again!

  They leapt once more, following the light to its next destination. On and on they continued, jumping, pausing, jumping again. For hours. He knew Haidee was tiring, could feel the tremble in her slight form.

  You’re doing great, sweetheart, he praised her.

  Before she could reply, a thick, cloying darkness once again enveloped them. No longer were there any pockets of light. No more fangs, either. Thank the gods. He stilled, Haidee pressing into his back. They could rest for a moment, decide what to do.

  Secrets prowled through his mind, agitated, and suddenly Amun knew. More shadow-dwellers were coming. Close…closer…

  Be ready, he told Haidee.

  «For?»

  Something worse. He didn’t yet know what a shadow-dweller was, but he knew that much. At least with the total cessation of sight his other senses kicked into hyperdrive. His ears picked up the whistling sound of wind. Or was he hearing…screams? His nose scented sulfur, and his mouth tasted copper. His palms tingled, sensing a spike of aggression in the air.

  Demons, he said. Shadow-dwellers were demons. Minions, like the ones he’d absorbed. They approached, and dread detonated inside him. Would he absorb them?

  Haidee first, his sanity second, he decided, switching direction. Rather than moving forward, he inched to the side until he encountered the solid length of the wall. He placed himself in front of her, offering what shelter he could.

  «What are you doing?»

  He wouldn’t lie to her. She needed to know the danger they were in. I told you. Demons approach. I won’t let them reach you.

  «I can help you fight,» she replied, far from scared.

  I won’t risk you.

  A growl of menace sounded beside him, followed by another. And another. Haidee stiffened. So did he. A jumble of thoughts suddenly slammed into his head, each revolving around the taste of his organs. The demons had spotted him, were utterly starved and looked forward to eating every part of him.

  And then, suddenly, they were there, attacking from every angle. Amun swiped out with his arms and knew he’d made contact with several of the creatures. Maybe he’d delivered killing blows, maybe not, but it didn’t matter how many he felled. There were so many, they converged on him en masse.

  He threw off as many as he could, continually slashing, kicking his legs to dislodge those who were chewing through his pants. Like the shadows, they had fangs. Only theirs were a lot sharper. And they had claws, such diamond-hard claws. But at least their evil remained with them, rather than being sucked into him, becoming a part of him.

  Despite the rapid movement of his arms, several managed to attach themselves to his biceps. He felt what seemed to be a thousand prickly stings, not just in his biceps, but all over his body.

  Warm blood leaked from him, and the scent of it tossed the creatures into a feeding frenzy. They snapped, growled and ripped out hunks of muscle. That quickly, he was losing the battle, weakening, and shit! He didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know where to find the light, or even how to use all of himself. Unless «all» meant offering his entire body up as a smorgasbord.

  When Haidee screamed, the creatures working their way behind him to take little nibbles out of her, he stopped caring about the light and concentrated on killing — however necessary. No one hurt his woman. No one. And those who tried would suffer.

  As rage suffused him, totally, completely, Amun bit back, clamping as many of the creatures as possible between his teeth and shaking like a shark that had finally snatched its prey. They were small, he realized, and easily breakable, those he held quickly going limp. He spit them out and snapped for more.

  Secrets continued to prowl through his head like a caged lion, wanting to hurt, to destroy, and wipe all conscious thought from the primitive minds around them. Amun held tight to his other half, afraid the beast would hurt Haidee in the process. But when she released another scream, this one slightly weaker than the other, proving she was losing blood and deteriorating, Amun’s guard dropped. The agitated demon roared, wrenching control from him and overtaking Amun completely. No longer were they man and beast. They were simply beast.

  Some of those minds were indeed wiped, thoughts and hungers slinking into Amun. Absorbed, as he’d feared. His mouth watered as he imagined tasting blood. Drinking…drowning in the flooding life-force…

  The images and urges didn’t last long. They quickly joined the muted chorus in the back of his consciousness.

  More, he needed more. As his demon’s hold on him strengthened, red flicked to life in his eyes, glowing, lighting up the cavern and illuminating hundreds of tiny, piranha-like creatures. They had white, hairless skin and pink-tinted gazes that looked as if they’d never glimpsed a single ray of light.

  When they encountered the wash of red, they shrank back with a shriek, trying to escape it. Why would—

  All of him, he thought then, understanding. A
ll of himself, and all of his demon. So simple, so easy. He was ashamed he hadn’t realized it sooner and saved Haidee from her newest injuries.

  Another sin to place at his door.

  Secrets continued to roar, out loud this time, frightening the creatures into backing farther away, and with the sound, Amun began to talk, unable to halt the words. Only he didn’t reveal devastating truths and vile crimes, the things that had constantly swirled inside his head until Haidee entered his life. He spoke of something sweet and tender.

  «I have to tell you something, sweet child.» Ancient Greek, a language he’d only recently heard when inside Haidee’s mind.

  «Mother?» she said now, awed and confused by what she was hearing from him.

  Any time the demon spoke through him, revealing something, the voices of those involved were used, rather than his own. So what Haidee heard was indeed her mother.

  «Listen well, for we will never speak of this again. You are special, my child. So special.»

  There was a pause, his voice slipping into a softer, childlike timbre. «I don’t understand.»

  Another pause, the return of the huskier voice. «For years, I could not conceive, and so I prayed and prayed, beseeching the gods to bless my barren body with fruit. And one night, a being appeared to me in my dreams. She told me I had only to promise to relinquish rights to my firstborn, and I would have many children. I agreed. It was the hardest decision I’d ever had to make, but I was so desperate, I agreed, and nine months later you were born.»

  Another pause, that switch of voices. «Me?»

  Yet another pause, yet another switch. «Oh, yes, sweet darling. And soon after, your sister was born. And now, another babe grows in my belly.»

  Pause. «I shall be a sister again?»

  Pause. «Yes. But, darling, listen to Màna. The being has returned. She wants to take you from us.»

  Pause. «I don’t want to leave you.»

  Pause. «And we don’t want you to leave us. Therefore, you will not. We will pack our belongings and flee from this place. I don’t tell you this to frighten you, only to warn you. If ever someone approaches you, intending to take you away from us, run, my darling, run. Run and hide, and we will find you.»

  The voices continued, the mother easing the child with teasing stories and tickles, until both were laughing. The father and sister soon joined them, and their love for each other echoed in every word.

  Real-life Haidee wrapped a trembling arm around Amun’s waist. Distantly, he thought she might have taken one of his weapons from him, might have been slashing with her free hand to discourage the creatures from approaching his side, where the red light didn’t reach, but he wasn’t sure.

  «Come on, baby,» she urged between one of his pauses. «Keep your eyes on those little bastards, and I’ll get us out of here, okay?»

  He couldn’t reply, could only weave the rest of the tale, the family spending what would be their last night together. Haidee never ceased dragging him away from the hungry fiends until finally, the shadows gave way and another cave surrounded them. This one was well-lit.

  She eased him to the ground as gently as she could, and he lay there, still talking, unable to do anything else. His mind was consumed by his demon, by the images forming, but soon the memory took a darker turn, the murders clearly imminent.

  Amun didn’t want to go there, didn’t want Haidee to hear their screams, their pleas for mercy. Somehow, someway, he managed to fight his way to the surface and peer up at her. The worst was yet to come, yet she was already staring down at him with horror. Horror she’d never before directed at him.

  «Knock…me…out…» he managed between pauses. «Please.»

  «No.»

  «Please.»

  She gulped, trembled as she reached down and clasped one of his blades. But when she straightened, she made no move toward him. «I–I can’t, Amun. I just can’t.»

  «Please. Must. No other…way.» His eyes beseeched her, the memory trying to jerk him back down, escape him. Any second now, and the screams and pleas were going to burst from his mouth. «Please.»

  «I–I—I’m sorry.» Something hard suddenly crashed into his temple.

  But he was still awake, still talking. «Again.»

  Once more, twice more, she hit him with the hilt of the blade. «So sorry.» A third time. Harder and harder.

  Good girl. He smiled as darkness consumed him, at last quieting his demon.

  Chapter Twenty

  Haidee stood over Amun’s unconscious body for a long while, content to watch him, guard him, as he had often done for her. His breathing remained deep and even, and the torment etching his features eventually smoothed out.

  He looked like an innocent little boy, she mused, with his dark lashes curling out, his lips soft and parted. Only the dried blood on his temple ruined the illusion. Well, that, and his ginormous warrior frame. Such a beautiful man, and what the hell was dripping on him?

  Her gaze narrowed on the red splatter now marring his cheek. Blood. Not his, though. Frowning, she moved her attention to her arm. She still held the blade she’d stuck him with, she realized. She dropped the weapon, heard the clatter of metal against rock, and looked at her hand. There were multiple puncture wounds.

  Her frown intensified when she swayed, overcome by dizziness. Wasn’t that just typical? She’d felt fine until she actually spotted the wound. But damn, she must have lost quite a bit of blood. Which made sense. Those piranha-like creatures had chomped on each of her limbs. And God, did she remember the pain. Like having acid-tipped pins drilled into her bones.

  If she had suffered, shielded by Amun as she’d been, how much had he suffered, completely out in the open?

  And how had she repaid him? By knocking him into a stupor.

  He wanted you to do it, she reminded herself, but that didn’t ease her guilt. Maybe because, deep down, she had wanted to do it. She’d heard her mother’s voice, her father’s, her sister’s, had known their deaths were approaching and had almost collapsed. If she’d had to listen to them die — again — she would have collapsed, no question.

  Amun had known that, and had fought to spare her. Always he considered her well-being first, no matter the cost to himself. He’d known what he was saying, what he was about to say, and hadn’t wanted her hurt by it.

  Until that moment, she hadn’t truly realized the constant burden he carried. He ascertained the dark thoughts and vile pasts of those around him and drew them inside himself. Unwittingly, yes, but rather than allow those poisons to spill from him, he held every drop inside himself. That way, no one else had to be tainted.

  The strength of will such an act required… Haidee knew she would have crumbled long before now.

  «What am I going to do with you, Amun?» she muttered. She hated that he hurt himself that way, that his only means of purging the darkness inside him came at such a high price. For him, for those he loved.

  Sighing, she grabbed the backpack and gathered the supplies necessary to clean and bandage him, then herself. Then she ate a turkey sandwich and an apple and drained a bottle of water. Several more hours passed, but Amun didn’t awaken.

  Had she caused permanent damage?

  Concern rocked her, and she paced the spacious cavern. Soon a sense of déjà vu overtook her. The enclosure looked exactly like the one the angel, Zacharel, had brought them to that first night: rocky walls splattered with red, bones in every corner. Had they made no progress?

  This was hell. Maybe every cavern looked like this.

  As she paced, her heart ached and swelled, any resistance she still might have harbored toward Amun vanishing. He gave her what no one else had ever been able to give. A past to cherish. A present to enjoy. A future to anticipate.

  And he wanted her, too. She knew he did. When he had pushed that image inside her head, the one of her in front of him, on her knees, his pants at his ankles and his hands in her hair, her mouth swallowing every inch of his massive erection, her o
wn hands tugging at his testicles, she had nearly melted. She’d felt the raw need pulsing from him, the consuming hunger…the primal satisfaction.

  She’d also felt his reasons for resisting her so steadfastly. Guilt, fear and remorse. Guilt for having inadvertently helped to kill her that first time — she’d known that already. Fear that he would hurt her again — that had been a surprise — and remorse for giving her up, even though it was for her own good. That wasn’t going to be tolerated.

  He didn’t want her to regret what happened between them. Didn’t want her to later hate him. He would learn. She wouldn’t, couldn’t hate him. Not for any reason.

  There had to be some way to prove how wrong he was. That the only way he could hurt her was by giving her up. That she would never regret being with him.

  Amazed, she ground to a halt. It was true, she realized. She would never regret being with him. The Hunters would view her as a traitor, and they would target her as they targeted the Lords, but she didn’t care. And Micah, well, he would turn on her, too.

  He would feel betrayed, personally and emotionally, but maybe one day, when he finally experienced the sizzle for himself, he would realize their split was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

  Now that she’d experienced it, she only wanted more. Would do whatever was needed to have more. Even seduce Amun within an inch of his life.

  No more waiting to move forward until she broke things off with Micah. Yes, she still planned to call him, to tell him they were finished, but their relationship was already over, done. Amun had her loyalty now. Demon, immortal, whatever, he had her loyalty. He deserved her everything.

  And really, she was operating under a limited amount of time. If she couldn’t reach him before they left these caverns — if they ever left these caverns — he would dump her somewhere and take off. For her own good. That, she knew, as well. Somehow, some way, she had to prove they could make a relationship work before then.