The Ballymara Road

by Nadine Dorries

  Little Paddy had broken out into a sweat. He felt faint with fear and knew that, at any second, he would have to do something.

  ‘Alice.’ Little Paddy sounded stronger than he felt. ‘Please don’t take Joseph. I might have to do something drastic. The dog is tied to the pushchair. I might have to set him on to ye or sumthin’.’

  Alice seemed not to hear as she strode quickly away. Suddenly Little Paddy saw Jerry wave towards him and then break into a sprint. He heaved a huge sigh of relief.

  ‘Paddy, hold onto the baby,’ Jerry shouted as he ran, but Alice was already on her way down the road.

  Scamp now took exception to being separated from Little Paddy and, with one bound, he leapt up, bit Alice on the arm and lodged his teeth in her coat sleeve. Alice screamed. Joseph screamed. Little Paddy screamed. The air was filled with growling, snarling and screaming, and then as Joseph began to cry, Alice found her voice.

  ‘Get this dog off, Paddy, get him away,’ she yelled, as the dog’s yellow teeth refused to dislodge from the woollen cuff of her Macey’s coat.

  In a split second, Jerry had reached the pushchair and detached the dog, while Little Paddy untied his well-knotted string dog lead from the handles.

  ‘Thanks, Paddy, ye did a good job there. Take Joseph to Kathleen, please, will yer,’ said Jerry.

  Little Paddy felt sick with relief. ‘Aye, Jerry. D’ye want the threepence back?’

  Little Paddy held out the coin and was thankful that Jerry didn’t notice. He quickly popped it back into his trouser pocket and ran with the pushchair over to Kathleen, bumping into Harry on the way.

  ‘Jesus, Harry, Alice came back from nowhere. She just appeared like a ghost and scared the feckin’ shite outta me she did. She stared at me with her weird eyes and I swear to all that is holy, she was trying to turn me into stone and then when it didn’t work, she tried to kidnap Joseph and run away with himself sat in the pushchair. Scamp wasn’t having that and attacked her, hung from her arm with his teeth he did and bit her, and then Jerry came and paid me for looking after Joseph and saving him. I’m away to Nana Kathleen with Joseph now, so we can be safe in case she comes after us and tries it again.’

  Harry looked at Little Paddy gravely.

  ‘Paddy,’ he said, placing both hands on his hips, ‘you have to stop telling lies and making stuff up, or, I swear to God, you will get locked up one day.’

  Jerry held Alice by her arm and inspected the small puncture wound on her wrist. They could both hear Joseph crying for his mother as Little Paddy wheeled him away, and Jerry could see the pain in her eyes.

  ‘The dog hasn’t drawn blood, Alice, so ye will be fine. Have ye come back to steal my son?’

  Alice hesitated. Her answer should be yes. But she knew that if she said that out loud, it would be a lie. She had returned for so much more.

  She looked first at the man who had loved her without ever being loved back, then turning to the green and Joseph, saw the woman who had been a mother to her and who was now lifting Alice’s baby into her own arms to comfort him.

  Alice had discovered that it was nowhere near as difficult to leave behind a person as it was to leave behind an entire life. She hadn’t just left Jerry; she had unfastened herself from her own existence. It felt now as though each day in America had passed in a haze of unreality.

  Alice met Jerry’s eyes. She stalled. ‘How can you ask me that?’

  ‘Because I can’t believe, Alice, that even you would try to steal my own son away from under my very nose without so much as a by-your-leave. You did that when you walked away as my wife, but ye surely cannot think you can do it with my son?’

  She could see Maura standing by Kathleen’s side. Alice wanted to run over and tell her that she had loved Kitty and cared for her, and that her heart had broken for the first time ever when she had heard the news that Kitty was dead. That was why she had visited the abortionist on Kitty’s account. Because she had wanted to help, to find a solution. She had wanted to find a way out for Kitty, because she had cared.

  All around her, everything and everyone was familiar and safe and known to her. She was surrounded by the people who had helped her through her transition from that wretched woman she had once been, to a mother. And someone they regarded as one of their own. Although she had traded this life for a new one of opulence and opportunity, even Alice knew that no amount of money could buy the security she had here, with these people. She and they were bound forever by a secret, a deadly secret, one she would find hard to carry alone for the rest of her life, without them.

  Jerry knew Alice well enough to read her thoughts and know exactly what was flashing though her mind.

  ‘If you’ve not come to steal Joseph away, have ye come back to us then?’

  ‘I can’t. I’ve caused too much damage,’ she whispered.

  ‘If ye mean Sean and Brigid, he was always going to live in America and she never was. His leaving would have happened anyway.’

  ‘Would ye have me back?’ Alice looked at Jerry, but she dared not hope.

  The money and the big house, they were as nothing compared to the homely comfort of the two-up, two-downs on the four streets. And what she and Sean McGuire, the man she hadn’t really known and never would, had for each other was a sham compared with the love she had for her son, Joseph. It had taken another woman’s desperate fight to save the life of a child who wasn’t even her own flesh and blood to make her realize that.

  She held her breath as she waited for his reply, knowing that, if he said no, the torrent of tears now building up inside her, for the second time in her life, would overwhelm her.

  Jerry didn’t answer straightaway, despite the words being on the tip of his tongue. He could deal only with how he felt. The imaginary arguments and discussions with Alice that he had had in his head in the minutes before he fell asleep each night appeared to have temporarily deserted him. Even so, the fact that she had left with his own friend, one of his workmates, was surely beyond healing or repair. Would his other workmates and friends understand? Would the four streets forgive her? Amongst them again, would she become a living scandal? Would they all shun her?

  He made no reply as he let go of her arm.

  ‘Alice.’

  Jerry turned as he heard Maura’s voice. She was coming towards them with a smart woman whom Jerry had never seen before, carrying a baby.

  Alice looked at Maura. With tears rolling down her cheeks, she whispered, ‘I’m so sorry, Maura.’

  Jerry stared, amazed. It was the first time he had seen Alice cry.

  ‘Are ye home to stay, Alice?’ asked Maura.

  Alice turned to look at Jerry.

  In those few words, Maura had answered all of his doubts.

  ‘Aye, she is,’ he replied. ‘She is.’

  Epilogue

  Six months later

  The Ballymara Road

  Liam had collected Nana Kathleen and Nellie, as he always did, in the old van. He and Kathleen chattered away as they travelled cross-country. They talked about the farm and each and all of the people who now lived, or had ever lived, in Bangornevin and Ballymara, going back as far as Nana Kathleen could remember.

  ‘Do ye remember the Reagans?’ Kathleen asked. ‘They farmed up on Craighorn, back in my grandmother’s day. The youngest son did three jobs to save up to emigrate to America and he kept his money hidden in the cowshed. The oldest, who never lifted a stick, watched him hide the money away for years. Never touched it he didn’t and, when there was enough for a passage, he nicked it himself and took a ship from Cobh. Well, Jesus, I hear now that the youngest saved and saved again and when he got to America, he hunted his brother down and shot him. He is now spending his life in an American gaol, for all his troubles.’

  Liam laughed. ‘I do, ’twas the news here for at least a week, Mammy. His family moved to Galway a good while back now.’

  ‘Things never turn out as you may plan, or think they will, do they, Liam? Holy Mother,
we have had a year of it in Liverpool.’

  Kathleen looked over her shoulder at Nellie who, exhausted from the night crossing, was fast asleep.

  ‘This one struggled to get over Kitty, now, even more than Kitty’s sisters, it would appear, although who knows what goes on inside a girl’s head? Nothing cheered her up but, thank the Lord, the fact that she could face coming back here, the place where Kitty died, that is progress, so it is, and ’tis all thanks to the priest’s sister, Harriet. She worked wonders with Nellie, so she did. Harriet got married all of a sudden, to a nice Mr Manning from the City Corporation. My tea leaves and prophesizing helped there, Liam. Now, the wedding was a surprise and she only had one bridesmaid and that was Nellie, for no other reason than to make her feel special. Oh, and Jesus, you should have seen the dress she was put in and the cut of her. She looked like a princess. Did you get the pictures I sent ye?’

  Liam nodded.

  ‘Did ye hear about the court case?’

  ‘We did, we read about the court case as well, Mammy. That was shocking. Some people over here don’t even know what a paedophile is. The kidnapping in the convent, it was all over the papers over here and on the television.’

  ‘Aye, there were bad things going on, all right. Poor Sister Evangelista, she thought she was going to cop it, but the judge was very lenient with her and let her off for concealing information. Thank the Lord he was an Irish Catholic. There are five men in prison, you know, Liam, and one of them is a bishop. We will never see that happen again in my lifetime, as God is my judge. We sat in the public gallery every day we did. We had to take it in turns to keep each other’s seat, there was so many nosey buggers trying to get in. You would not believe how awful curious some women can be. ‘Tis an affliction, surely?’

  Liam smiled to himself and, without drawing breath, she continued.

  ‘Have you seen much of Maura and Tommy since they moved to Killhooney Bay?’

  Kathleen galloped so fast from one subject to the next, it was difficult for Liam to keep up.

  ‘Aye, we do. Maeve and Maura visit each other every week and I’ve kept it a surprise from Nellie,’ Liam whispered. ‘Angela and Niamh are waiting at the house for Nellie to arrive and they are staying with us for the week. Maura and Tommy are coming over tonight to eat with us. Tommy is driving his own van now, and doing a grand job, with a bit of land on Killhooney. About to open his own pub he is. Tommy reckons that things are so bad in England and America that everyone who ever left will be so homesick and desperate to return, there will be a roaring tourist trade soon enough on the West Coast. Everyone seems to be mad about the salmon from our waters and Tommy reckons he will have a good business there.

  ‘He has a couple from Galway, Maggie and Frank, who have come across to work for him and Maura. Grand people, so they are. They were in the papers, over the convent being closed down. Seems they had a bad time of it locally they did. Because they spoke to the police and gave a statement, they had to leave before they were hounded out of the village. Made the locals very mad, so it did. Meself, I reckon ’twas the priest behind all the bad feeling. He was the maddest of them all. They will be running the pub and helping Maura with the paying guests.’

  ‘Who would ever have thought it, eh?’ Nana Kathleen shook her head. ‘Little Harry spends a few days in Alder Hey Hospital, saves a baby’s life, and Maura and Tommy are handed a fortune.

  ‘Well, I want to meet this Maggie. Daisy has a lot to say about her. She was due to set off to Dublin, was Daisy, to live with her brother, but the Priory was too much for Annie and so, with Harriet getting married, Daisy has stayed put. Her poor brother was distraught, they said, but Daisy visits them for nice holidays. She is attached, like, to the four streets, and to Alison and Harriet, I would say. She won’t leave ever, I don’t think.

  ‘’Tis a strange world, Liam, and getting stranger by the day. There was a lot of money flying around. Alice brought a suitcase-load with her from America and she gave it back to Mary and then, lo and behold, Mary gave her it back and wished her luck. I think she was feeling mighty generous, because she arrived in Liverpool with a sick baby, and left with a healthy one. Fifty thousand pounds it was and, Liam, there is some of it in my case for you. Jerry has sent ten over for you and Maeve to compensate for your trouble and for you to build a milking shed. And with the rest, he is going to buy a little house for Nellie and Joseph. The talk about the four streets being knocked down, ’tis nonstop, and our Jerry, he has said he would rather die than move to Speke with the rest of them. And, as I was saying before, Little Harry has to fly to America soon, to help out a bit, give some more of the jelly from his bones. God, doesn’t even flinch he doesn’t, but I reckon ye are more ahead on that news than I am, Liam. Ah, here she is, she’s waking now.’

  Nellie rubbed her eyes and yawned. ‘Are we there yet?’ she asked.

  ‘Passing through Bellgarett now,’ said Liam. ‘Not long until we are on the Ballymara Road and, God, Nellie, ’tis a road that has missed yer footsteps.’

  Nellie smiled. She put one hand to her other wrist, to check that it was still there: the gold charm bracelet, given to Kitty by Maeve, the last time she saw her, when Kitty had promised to return. Nellie turned the bracelet round and round. She wanted Maeve to notice that she was wearing it. She had missed Maeve so much and she knew that Maeve had sent the bracelet across to Liverpool to let Nellie know, it was time. She was to return to the Ballymara Road.

  As the van turned into Bangornevin, Nellie noticed that not a thing had altered. The school looked just the same. The river, the shops and the children playing in the street: all as if it had been only yesterday when she had last been driven through the village. As they turned left and crossed the roaring river on to the Ballymara Road, Nellie felt overcome with emotion and her eyes flooded with tears.

  ‘Nana, Nana Kathleen,’ she whispered.

  ‘Oh, God in heaven, would ye look at ye. In just two minutes we will be with Maeve. Now dry your eyes. God, she will be upset, so she will, if ye arrive crying.’

  Kathleen looked to Liam for help.

  ‘Come on, Nellie, we aren’t that bad. Ye only have two weeks to put up with us now and I promise to behave.’ Liam tried his best to raise a smile.

  Both he and Nana Kathleen knew what was wrong. In a minute or so, they would reach the place in the river where Kitty had drowned.

  Returning Nellie to the farmhouse and taking her back down the Ballymara Road was the last step on the road to her recovery.

  The chain of events that had begun with an evil priest had been far-reaching.

  The four streets had settled down and life had returned to normal. New concrete towns were being erected to the south of the city, but the people on the four streets had dug in and refused to move. Neighbours had died, new families had moved in and old ones, such as the Dohertys, had moved out. The community had altered in appearance but remained firm in the bonds of poverty, love and the instinct to survive, which kept it strong.

  ‘Look,’ whispered Nana Kathleen to Nellie, ‘look out of the window.’

  Nellie looked and there, on the Ballymara Road, in the same spot where she had last seen her, stood Maeve, with her hand shielding her eyes, squinting into the sunlight. As the van approached, Nellie saw a smile light up Maeve’s face, and she began to wave.

  ‘There she is, our Maeve. I imagine she got notice now, when we passed through Castlefeale. Not much changes around here, Nellie,’ said Liam.

  ‘Praise the Lord for that,’ said Nana Kathleen. ‘That’s exactly what we need a little of.’

  As the van began to slow down, Nellie spotted the others running out of the front door of the house, laughing and waving. There was Rosie, and Auntie Julia, and Aengus, and Mrs and Mrs McMahon. She could hardly believe her eyes when Angela and Niamh appeared, with Maura and Tommy behind them.

  ‘Well, ye couldn’t ask for a better welcoming committee than that, now, could you?’ said Nana Kathleen, squeezing Nellie
’s hand.

  Nellie’s eyes blurred. She could barely focus and yet, through the river of tears which flooded her eyes, she saw her. Her mother, Bernadette, holding Kitty by the hand. They smiled and waved to her. Immediately she knew of the love that they brought to her and it filled her heart, which had ached and felt so empty for so long.

  The car door opened and she was aware of Maeve, helping her out and sweeping her into her ample bosom.

  ‘Would ye look at her now, almost as tall as meself,’ said Maeve as she pulled Nellie into her arms. Nellie’s tears turned to laughter as she heard everyone asking her questions, all at once.

  In the midst of excited chatter, people fighting with each other to carry the bags and Angela trying to drag her out of Maeve’s arms, she looked back towards the river and she just caught them as, with a last smile, they turned away from her and, walking together, faded into the blinding sunlight, down the Ballymara Road.

  ~

  We hope you enjoyed this book.

  Nadine Dorries’ next book, Ruby Flynn, is coming in Winter 2015

  For more information, click one of the links below:

  About Nadine Dorries

  More books by Nadine Dorries

  About The Four Streets Trilogy

  An invitation from the publisher

  About The Ballymara Road

  It is Christmas morning in 1963 and on a cold bed, in a hostile Irish convent, Kitty Doherty gives birth in secret to a beautiful baby boy. Still a child herself, Kitty is aware that the existence of her child presents a huge danger to the Irish Catholic community of the Four Streets in Liverpool, where she and her family live.

  The baby is adopted by a wealthy family in Chicago. And that, as far as everyone in the Four Streets knows, is a problem solved. But soon it’s obvious the baby is very sick. Now his parents learn they have six months in which to find his birth mother and a bone marrow match.