Last Dance of the Phoenix

by James R. Lane

  “You have reached the Yularian embassy in Jacksonville, Florida,” the alien voice answered after only one ring. “We’re sorry, but the embassy is closed for the day. We open at nine a.m. every day, and welcome your inquiries and visits by appointment. If you would like to leave a message, please speak after the tone. Goodbye.” The phone beeped.

  “This is Thomas Barnes, although you probably already know that, and I’m sure you also know that I know you monitor this phone line even when the embassy is closed. That’s of no concern of mine, however, since this will not be a two-way conversation.” I glanced at L’raan and winked. “I suggest you listen closely, because I’ll only say this once: You have attacked my house with various highly illegal devices, for the obvious purpose of killing both my Yularian medical observer and no doubt myself; this after a botched attempt at killing my observer shortly after her arrival here on Earth. These attacks will no longer be tolerated, and I have transmitted this information---through means you can neither intercept nor defeat---to the appropriate Earth governmental officials. We were aware of much of your covert actions to date, and will remain on alert for further illegal activity by you or agents under your control.

  “Should any further attempts to harm my Yularian observer or me occur, whatever or however it may happen, Earth will immediately expel all Yularian interests from the planet, by force if necessary. Make no mistake; you will be gone, your assets here will be seized, and you will not be invited back. This matter is not open to discussion or negotiation. I repeat: If any further hostility is detected, these actions will be implemented.”

  I broke the telephone connection, then noticed L’raan was standing with her mouth hanging open in shock, her eyes wide. I motioned for her to say nothing, then spoke to the air, “Bertha, please feed your audio and video records of the current incident to the TV screen in here, beginning when I give the signal.”

  “Acknowledged,” came the reply, seemingly out of mid-air.

  I quickly swung the thirty-two-inch LCD TV screen around to face the Yularian videophone’s camera, then turned it on. Moments later I told Bertha, “Begin playback.” Over the next few minutes the video Bertha’s various cameras recorded were displayed on the TV, and both her running audio commentary and my comments and instructions were replayed. When it was done I switched the TV off and faced the videophone’s camera with L’raan by my side. “In case we don’t survive the night, or even the next few days, Dr. N’looma, I felt you needed to know this. I sincerely hope you can get some answers. Goodbye.” Reaching over, I cut the connection.

  I gave L’raan a brief one-armed hug, then sighed. “Lordy, I hope it was worth it, ‘cause we don’t have much else to help us at this time.”

  “What do you mean, Mr. Barnes?” she asked, confusion obvious in her expression. “You told the embassy-” I quickly silenced her by gently clamping her muzzle shut with a finger and thumb, while doing the childish “Shhh!” thing with a finger in front of my own lips. Her eyes got really big, then she nodded. She was still trembling, and I was beginning to shake a bit myself now that the initial surge of adrenalin was wearing off. “C’mon,” I said, “let’s head back to the security panel in my room. I’m cold; I need to put a robe on---” I’d bounced out of bed wearing only my boxer shorts, and the cool house air was actually beginning to chill me. “---and see if our friends are up to anything else.”

  Once the office was once again locked and secured with the screamer, we hustled back to my room, and once inside I shut the door. Turning to face her head-tilted, puzzled frown, “I told the embassy a lie, a big-ass bluff,” I explained with a wry smile. “I haven’t told anybody anything---yet. That’s coming, and trust me, if I’m allowed the time to do so I’m planning to sing like a canary.” She still didn’t understand. “I had to buy us some breathing room, my dear. Your buddies at the embassy are well aware of what’s going on outside, but what I hope they don’t know is what I’ve been up to inside, who I might have contacted, and what I’ve told them. I didn’t want to say anything about this in the vicinity of your luggage, in case they have some sort of listing or recording device hidden in there that Bertha can’t detect.” Her head tilted the other way and her mouth opened just a bit, dawning understanding evident in her eyes. “Yeah,” I added, “I’m just a big old liar, and I’m hoping my lies will keep us alive until I can get some help.”

  After pulling on an old flannel robe I picked from my closet, I glanced at the security panel and asked, “Bertha, what do our ‘friends’ appear to be up to?”

  “The van is still parked outside the gate, but I can see no activity through the front windows, nor does there appear to be any activity around it. The laser snoop-beam is still---no, correction; the snoop-beam has just switched off. I just intercepted an ultrabeam radio burst, content unknown, that appears to have been directed--- Wait! Now I’m picking up strange electronic activity apparently coming from within the garage.” I’d left my Caddy sitting out front of the house, windows down, to help air it out. Bertha mentioning the garage sent a strange chill down my spine. “The electronic activity is increasing,” the AI calmly reported, “and from composite radar images generated by several of my security spiders on that side of the house I’m seeing motion inside the garage. Understand that I have no direct sensors in the building. Since it is a structure separate from the house, it was not deemed necessary to add monitors there when I was installed. That may have been a mistake.” No shit! “I’m putting the radar composite image on-screen. Perhaps you can better understand what it represents.”

  What the image “represented” appeared to be something out of a dark nightmare. The shadow seemed to be the size of a big horse in length---but flat, no more than a half-foot thick and undulating, and supported by at least six to eight long tentacle-like legs. The thing was moving around near the closed garage door, and suddenly the door swung up and open, and the thing moved out and into the open. The image on the security screen suddenly switched to an enhanced night-vision picture, and my spinal chill grew legs that began a tap-dance all over my back. Another click faintly sounded inside my head, but I didn’t pay it any attention.

  “Kill that…that thing, Bertha!” I yelled. “Kill it fast, kill it now, use anything and everything you have---but KILL it!” L’raan began yowling and latched onto me like a terrified child hugging her daddy. The screen image suddenly began to bounce and vibrate as the spider providing the image began scuttling toward the dark horror that was slither-skittering toward the distant gate. Intense pencil-beams of light started poking and prodding the undulating figure, and it was instantly apparent those laser beams from the mob of spiders weren’t going unnoticed. The thing seemed to stumble, and several of its tentacle-legs appeared to fall out of synchronization with the others, causing the whole snake-like nest to become tangled. This brought the monstrosity to a grinding, nearly-tumbling halt no more than fifty feet from the front of the garage, the spiders converging on it like wolves, their tiny lasers relentlessly probing to find a lethal weakness.

  And the thing wasn’t without offensive weaponry of its own! Suddenly a white-hot pulse of energy spat from the front of the horror, and first one, then another spider exploded like they’d been hit by grenades. But because the spiders were actually a single, multi-faceted device controlled by the AI, there was no fumbling or scrambling of one unit over another as they jockeyed for optimum positions; they all functioned as one mechanical organism, and while the intruder’s attention was focused on killing the two spiders it blasted, two others managed to scramble up its rear legs and gain the high ground on its back. Once there, both concentrated their lasers on one spot about two feet in front of its tail end. A second later there was a powerful explosion---unfortunately lethal to the two attacking spiders---that blew apart the back third of the monstrosity.

  Game over. It instantly froze, then finished toppling onto the grass at the edge of the paver brick driveway. Moments later the van’s engine started, and
it hurriedly moved away from the vicinity of the gate and onto the paved road, then sped away into the night. The machine vs. apparent machine battle had taken no more than thirty seconds, but it was the most intense half-minute I’d experienced in…well, ages.

  “I detect no further activity from the large intruder,” Bertha stated, “and I’ve found no additional electronic signals emitting from anywhere on the property or even nearby.” The spiders began dispersing, with one remaining behind to watch for latent activity in the intruder’s carcass, while the others divided their numbers; half heading to inspect the garage while the other half returned to guard the house.

  L’raan was trembling so hard she was actually shaking me, and appeared to be so frightened she was actually having problems breathing. “It’s all right, dear,” I soothed, stroking her head and upper shoulders. “It’s over. We won. Our spiders disabled all the intruders and the bad guys have left. Something tells me they won’t be back, at least not tonight.” She gasped several breaths and finally began to get herself under control, looking up at me and trying unsuccessfully to speak. “I think the embassy called off the dogs,” I explained, “and they’re running home with their tails between their legs.”

  Her jaw suddenly dropped open and her eyes widened even more. “T-t-tails---b-between t-their…legs?” she managed to sputter. I nodded, smiling and hugging her again. Suddenly she took a deep, shuddering breath, then let it out in a series of loud staccato barks, almost collapsing into a heap on the floor. At first I didn’t realize what was happening, but then it hit me: She was literally going into hysterics---laughing! Apparently I’d touched on a favorite bit of Yularian humor, and I had to admit, her laughter was infectious.

  Shared danger often forges bonds of friendship faster and stronger than by any other method. Maybe---just maybe, I thought, once all this dust settles we might stand a chance of actually getting along. I sure hoped so!

  Chapter 6

  It’s a Wrap

  “OK, L’raan,” I said after she’d mostly laughed herself dry, “we still have one more thing to do before we can relax.” That got me another head-tilted, puzzled look, something I was beginning to enjoy despite myself. “Now’s the time to actually contact the people who need to know about this---mess.” Her euphoric mood dissipated like smoke, and I added, “Unfortunately, our ‘friends’ at the embassy could decide to call my bluff, and it’s possible Bertha might not be able to fend off another attack. There could also be more nasties where that big one came from, which reminds me---did the spiders find anything else in the garage?” I asked, directing the last bit to Bertha.

  “They’ve gone over the building, inside and out,” the AI replied, “and everything appears to be normal. They’re also checking the outdoor storage buildings and even the plants and trees on the property, but so far they’ve found nothing beyond a nest of mice under the pecan tree, assorted bird nests in almost every tree and two wasp colonies in the garage---and yes, we destroyed the wasps. At this time, I’m very carefully checking all accessible areas of the house, in case the workers who modified L’raan’s bedroom and bathroom made unauthorized changes, or hid devices.”

  “Excellent work, Bertha,” I stated. Even though the AI was supposed to be emotionless, I felt it didn’t hurt to compliment the system that was responsible for keeping us alive. “And now I think it’s time to contact our old friend Art Goldman. I’m sure he’s home snug in his bed at this hour---” My nightstand clock said it was one a.m. “---but he’s paid the big bucks to be available when needed, and boy do we need him now!”

  “I’m calling his secure line at this time,” Bertha stated, then after a few moments, “and Liz, his AI, says he is, indeed, home asleep---” I nodded, “---with his current lady friend.” I winced.

  After about thirty seconds, “He’s now awake and will soon join us on a voice-only connection,” the AI announced, and moments later Art’s sleep-fogged voice came through the speaker.

  “Tom? Welcome back! Lizzie says you’re in trouble--”

  “Hey, old buddy, it’s great to hear your voice, especially after the day---and especially the night---I’ve had. Or I should say, the day and night both my Yularian medical observer and I have had. And before you say anything else, I need to warn you that this line may have been compromised---yes, I know it’s military-grade encrypted, but the game’s changed and now all that’s probably out the window.” L’raan’s eyes widened in comprehension, then she quickly nodded. “Trust me on this, Art; say nothing to me that you wouldn’t want blabbed to your worst enemy, and at least for now I’ll do the same.”

  “What…what can you tell me, Tom?” No trace of sleep fog clouded his voice now.

  “Only that I need you here at first light with a non-nuclear containment team and a single-axle box truck to handle some very exotic---and very deadly---alien hardware. Bring replacement spiders---Bertha can tell you how many---and any upgrades for our existing ones you can get your hands on. Also any enhancements for Bertha that you think might make this house more secure against---” here I was at a loss, and then I noticed L’raan trying to get my attention.

  “May I speak to him?” she softly asked.

  “Art, the next voice you hear will be L’raan, my Yularian observer. She and I have had a tough time here, but she may have some insight into things I’m overlooking.” To her I whispered, “Remember, say nothing that might even hint to an embassy listener that what I said earlier was a lie.” She nodded.

  “Mr. Goldman, we were attacked by a group of highly lethal Yularian military infiltration drones, and there was also a semi-autonomous assassin robot hiding in the garage. Had Tom---I mean, Mr. Barnes---parked his vehicle in there when we first arrived---” She stopped and began trembling hard again, eventually adding with difficulty, “T-this c-c-conversation w-would not be t-taking place.” Art was silent on his end, and a few moments later she took a deep breath and stated firmly, a bit of Yularian edge back in her voice, “I suggest you take nothing you have been told lightly.”

  A few more moments of conversation followed, then we broke the connection. Smiling wearily at L’raan, I said, “You, young lady, did very well this evening, and I’m proud of you.”

  “But...I didn’t---”

  “Oh yes you did,” I countered. “You kept your head in a frightful situation, and you contributed important information.” I took her hands in mine; they were trembling, and the soft palm and finger pads were cold. “And the best thing you did was keep me from overreacting. Without your presence I probably would have done something stupid---and wound up dead.” Releasing her hands I added, “But with Bertha on high alert I think we’ll be safe for the rest of the night, so it’s time we grabbed some sleep. Art’s people will be here in---” I looked at a clock; it was only a little after one a.m. “---around five hours, so I’m instructing Bertha to get us both up around five thirty. I also want Bertha to station a spider in your bedroom, as well as one in the room with your luggage, just in case.” L’raan nodded her approval.

  “And one final thing: Please call me ‘Tom’ instead of ‘Mr. Barnes’. Like me or not, you’re probably going to be here a while, and hearing you say ‘Mr. Barnes’ on a regular basis will get on my nerves really fast.”

  Once the security details had been taken care of I bade her a good night and headed for my bedroom---only to hear a soft, “M-mr. Barnes? T-tom?” I stopped and turned to look down the hall, and saw L’raan standing near the office door---but not too close to it.

  “Yes? Is something wrong?”

  And then she did a thing I’d never seen a Yularian---or for that matter any other grown person---do. Her bushy tail drooped to a position between her legs, her ears drooped so far I was afraid they’d fall off…and then her head and body drooped! At first I thought she was having a delayed reaction to the poisoning she’d survived the previous day---but I was wrong, oh so wrong.

  She was begging.

  “T-tom, I…I’m scared. I�
��I have never feared m-my own people, but I fear them now.” Her voice had an apologetic quality, most unusual for her kind. “And…and I’m afraid to…to sleep alone.” She looked at me with the strangest expression. “Because of…of my present condition, I know you find me terribly offensive to be around, but---”

  “Hold it, L’raan,” I commanded, and she literally froze. “I don’t know just how much of the conversation I had with Dr. N’looma you overheard, but my sensitivity to your estrus is all her doing, and I think it’s something that will fade as your estrus passes. Besides, I don’t even think other humans could detect it. I’m certainly not angry with you, and I don’t find you personally offensive; just a bit---pungent.” I gave her as sincere a smile as I could. “Now, what’s this about being afraid to sleep alone? Are you sure this isn’t just your estrus ‘talking’?”

  “I---no, not at all,” she replied slowly approaching me, but still maintaining that deferential stance. “I…I just can’t face trying to sleep in that room alone, knowing that my own people may again attempt to k-kill me---and kill you!” By this time she’d moved to within an arm’s length, and her pathetic expression literally tore my guts out. “Please, Tom, please let me sleep in the room with you---at least for tonight. I…I need the presence of another person---”

  “Enough!” I stated, frowning. “I’m not going to have you or anybody else begging in this house. It’s not right, it’s not dignified, and it’s just not going to happen.” I carefully reached out and drew her towards me, trying to ignore the rank smell---a smell I now knew was literally all in my mind---that came with proximity to her. “We’re both tired and punchy from coming off our recent adrenalin ‘high’, and you’re by no means fully recovered from your poisoning ordeal, either.” She looked up at me, a bit of hope shining in her alien eyes. “Even though I think we’re safe at least for the night, you’re welcome to share my bed---for sleeping!” Her whole demeanor perked up, and along with her ears standing up, her tail began to wag a bit.