What The Heart Finds

by Gadziala, Jessica

  But... that didn't make any sense either. From what it sounded like, he had had a reputation with women since he was young.

  How many had there been? A dozen? A few dozen? More? Had he kept his exploits exclusively in Stars Landing? In which case, his options would have been somewhat limited.

  She hadn't ever given a guy's “number” much thought before. It had always been a fluid, unimportant thing. She was always safe with her partners and had very little to no emotional attachment which made caring about their previous sexual partners silly. She had hardly given her own number much thought. She had slept with her first boyfriend at the requisite sixteen and stayed with him until they both went off to different colleges, the separation had been inevitable and had been carried out without much emotion.

  Then she was at college, so hellbent on getting and keeping excellent grades so she could keep her scholarship and make a good life for herself... get herself out of the slums, that she hadn't made any time for normal college experiences like friends or dating.

  She had had her one and only one-night stand her junior year after knocking back tequila shots until she could numb the end-of-the-world sensation she felt at getting a B for a semester. He had been an opinionated, whiskey-drinking arts major who spouted bizarre ideas about the course of evolution thanks to technological advances. She had sat and listened to him for hours, the tequila making her head light and swirling. When he had finally sat down next to her, she had turned her head and kissed him. They had been back to his room a few minutes later, drunkenly clawing at each other in the most rushed, awkward sexual encounter she could imagine.

  She had woken up the next morning with a splitting in her head, looking over at him in the harsh light or morning, and felt so ashamed of herself, she quickly threw on her clothes and ran back to her dorm, declaring to her curious roommate that she was swearing off men until graduation.

  And she had.

  At twenty-four she had graduated with her MBA and set out get herself a good career. And seemed to average about one man a year for the next four years. Which brought her up to present. So she had six. Which seemed like a fair enough number, especially considering that work was always her main priority.

  Which, if she was honest, was pretty much the reason each of those men had to be tossed aside. They had started wanting more. Wanting some kind of commitment. Wanting daily texting, or calling, or face-to-face contact. And she simply didn't have time for them once she started at EM.

  And everything was as it should be. Work should be her main priority. She had goals. She had plans for her future. Once she achieved those goals, then maybe she could make time in her life for something more serious.

  Because maybe she actually wanted that in her life.

  Lena shook her head, looking out her window at the town. She had EM to blame for that realization. If he hadn't forced her to take this pseudo-vacation, she would have happily gone about her life as usual. Rushing into work early in the morning, the sun barely up and busting her butt all day long. Going home when the sun was already set and sitting down over a plate of takeout and answering work emails. Going to the market on Saturday. Baking crazy dessert recipes she had found online on a rare Sunday when she didn't have work she could throw herself into.

  Everything planned. Predictable. Easy.

  But a little time to herself had her realizing all the things she had been denying herself. Things maybe she hadn't even been aware of wanting to do. Like exploring the woods. Without many opportunities to spend time in untamed wilderness, she couldn't have ever known she would have enjoyed it as much as she did. Maybe when she got back to the city she could plan to take weekend hiking trips. There had to be places. And maybe she could find somewhere to take horseback riding lessons.

  If she tried, she could incorporate her newly discovered hobbies into her life back home.

  And, eventually, she could find herself a man. Maybe even someone with the raw animal magnetism of Eric O'reilly. Not like him though. Someone stable. Professional. Not so whorish.

  Lena sighed, moving away from the window.

  She slipped into blue silk pajama pants and a tight pink tank top, climbing into the bed and deciding to spend the rest of her night catching up on some reading. The inn's library was actually pretty extensive. They had everything from the classics to the most recent science fiction favorites. She wondered if Liam was the one to make the suggestions. She couldn't quite picture him throwing himself into stories about vampires and witches, but maybe between the thick tomes on who-knows-what he did like to escape a little.

  She had just opened to the title page of a book she'd been promising herself she would read since high school when she heard a strange tapping. Looking up from the book, she glanced around and decided maybe it was just the inn settling. Or rain. Or a lawn mower kicking up rocks.

  But it kept tap-tapping, closer than it should. From outside the window.

  Lena got up slowly, her heart a little bit in her throat as if she might walk upon some kind of inn burglar. She pulled the curtains apart slowly, standing as far from the window as possible.

  And there was Eric, his finger still on the glass, looking in at her with his usual casual grin. Lena dropped the curtain with an exhale and reached for the window, hauling it up.

  “What the hell are you doing?”

  Eric shrugged, taking in her pjs... despite it barely being past nine. “Just coming to say hi.”

  Lena leaned her head out the window, looking around. “Wait... how did you get up here? There isn't a staircase between floors.”

  Eric leaned up against the window frame, looking down at her. “I have my ways. You gonna let me in?”

  Lena felt her body flush. Eric O'reilly in her room. In her room which was really just one big bed? That was a terrible, terrible idea.

  “What?” Eric asked, smirking. “You afraid you cant control yourself around me baby?”

  Lena straightened, embarrassed at being so easy to read. She rolled her eyes, swinging her legs through the window opening, and sitting down on the ledge.

  “I just want a little fresh air. I've been inside all day working,” she said casually, looking down at her bare feet.

  “You really need to look up the definition of a vacation,” Eric said, refusing to move from his position, his thighs pressing against her arm.

  The silence hung for a long moment, Lena watching the street, seeing Maude leave her office and looking up at them. As if she knew who it was. Lena could swear she could see the woman smile even through the distance.

  “So how's my car doing?” she asked, trying to keep it professional. Trying to put up the boundaries they had spent the night before tearing down.

  “I got a few parts in. Waiting on the rest. Tomorrow probably. Then I can get to work,” he said, his hand reaching down and touching her hair. “You have your hair down,” he said, his tone dipping lower.

  “Yeah, I was in bed,” she said then quickly added, “Reading.”

  “Reading?” he asked, his fingers brushing the skin on her shoulder. “But there are so many other fun things to do in a bed.”

  Not being able to think of anything witty and chastening to say, Lena made a non-committal sound in the back of her throat.

  Eric moved slowly, shifting to stand right in front of her for one horrifying moment as Lena was face-to-face with his crotch, before he lowered himself down to his knees in front of her. His hands moved to the cool silk of her pants, running up her calves, gently kneading the muscles before moving around to her knees. They settled there for a moment, his head downcast, before moving up to her thighs, moving in slow, circular explorations.

  She closed her eyes, every nerve ending in her body focused on the sensation of his hands on her, the silk making the movement fluid and soothing. Then he grabbed her knees unexpectedly and pushed her legs open, his body slipping into the space between.

  He looked up at her then,
his eyes full of promise and desire. “Why don't you let me in there and I can show you?” he suggested, his tone almost challenging.

  Lena shook her head slowly, looking down at him and realizing she wanted that more than she had wanted anything in a very long time. “I cant do that,” she said, her tone almost sad.

  “Well,” he said, undeterred. “what can you do then?”

  She almost tried to fight the urge. Almost. But even as she was trying to convince herself of that, she was lowering her face to his, her hands going to the back of his neck and holding him still as her lips found his.

  It was tentative at first, soft. Eric's lips were firm but pliant under hers, letting her set the pace. His hands slowly slid up the sides of her thighs, slipping into the hollows above her hipbones and pressing. Lena groaned against his lips and his hands slowly moved upward, caressing her ribs, landing by the sides of her breasts.

  Lena pulled back suddenly, looking down at him, her breath coming out shallow and rapid. His hands felt heavy where they were resting with no intention of moving. Eric's eyes opened slowly, the color an almost slate gray, piercing. He watched her for a moment, waiting for some sign that she wanted him to pull away. Finding only a heavy-lidded desire, his hands moved forward, cupping her breasts in his wide palms.

  Lena sucked in her breath at the contact, unable to concentrate on anything but the sensation of his hands on her body. His hands shifted, his thumbs moving across her nipples slowly, teasing them into rigid peaks. His hands moved upward, pulling the straps of her tank top off her shoulders. He kept pulling downward until her breasts were exposed to the cool night air.

  “Eric...” she breathed out, feeling anxious, looking around.

  “No one can see you, baby,” Eric said, his voice confident and assuring.

  Lena leaned backward slightly, her head resting against the bottom of the raised window. Eric's hands covered her bare breasts, squeezing them slightly before his thumbs went back to their teasing. He pinched the sensitive peaks between his fingers, just hard enough for her to yelp, but not hard enough for her to want to pull away.

  He looked up at her for a second before dipping his head and taking one of her nipples into his mouth, sucking and running his tongue over the point. Lena moaned, her hands slamming down on the window sill to keep herself from falling backward. She felt shock of desire growing in her core, making her legs feel shaky, slamming shut around Eric's torso, pulling him closer.

  His teeth sunk into the peak, his other hand squeezing her left breast roughly.

  Somewhere on the street below, a car door slammed and Lena's eyes flew open. She struggled against the sexual tension, quickly pushing her toward a cliff. And all she wanted to do was jump. But her hand slammed down on Eric's shoulder instead, pushing at him.

  “Okay... stop,” she said, her voice weak.

  Eric looked up at her, his eyes cloudy and intense for a moment before he fell back on his heels, moving away from her. Lena grabbed the front of her tank top and yanked it back into place, snapping the straps back onto her shoulders. She leaned forward for a moment, her elbows on her knees, her head in her hands.

  “You alright?” he asked, reaching out and placing a hand on the back of her arm.

  “Yeah,” she said quickly, standing up and almost knocking him onto his back. She tried to avoid eye contact as she carefully stepped back in through the window and into her room. If she looked at him, she knew she'd invite him in.

  Once she was inside, Eric slowly got to his feet, taking one long deep breath and exhaling it as a quiet curse. He ran a hand through his hair, looking out toward the town.

  Lena took a steadying breath and leaned her face out the window to look at him. She felt a smirk, much like the one he was always giving her, playing at her lips.

  “So I can't control myself around you, huh?” she asked, and Eric turned back to her with a disbelieving smile. “Try not to die scaling back down the building,” she added, ducking back into her room, slamming the window, and closing the curtains.

  There. Now she had the upper hand. She smiled at the closed window. All was how it was supposed to be. She was finally the one in charge.

  Ten

  Eric stood on the balcony for a long while, Lena moving around inside her room for a for a few minutes before turning her lights off. He raked a hand down his face, frustrated. And maybe a little more confused than he would like.

  He sighed, hauling himself over the railing and climbing halfway down the old wooden trellis before jumping to the ground. He looked back up at the inn for a second before turning and walking toward the center of town.

  What the hell was going on with him? He stalked down Main Street, his footsteps heavy, conveying all the anxiety he was feeling inside. He needed to get the girl out of his head already. It wasn't like him to think about someone so much. But, he reminded himself, not many of the other women had been quite so big of a challenge. Or a puzzle. He wanted to get to know the woman she was inside, underneath the ice queen image.

  He walked up the glass door, slamming his fist against the wooden door frame, making the glass jump ominously. Somewhere inside a light went on. Eric kept his hand on the door frame, leaning as if he wasn't capable of standing on his own anymore.

  The door opened a minute later. Liam stood there in a pair of blue plaid pajama pants, his eyes small like he had been sleeping. He looked up at Eric for a second before raising his hands and showing Eric a bottle of whiskey and two glasses.

  “Yup,” Eric said, pushing past Liam and walking past the bookshelves and toward the cafe, dropping down in a chair and tapping the table.

  Liam snorted, putting the glasses down and pouring whiskey into one until it was half full and pushing it toward Eric before filling his own. Eric tipped the glass and finished it in one gulf, slamming it down and reaching for the bottle as Liam settled down across from him.

  “It's the city girl, huh?” Liam asked, toying with his glass but not drinking.

  Eric stared down at his glass, empty again. “Yeah.”

  Liam nodded. “It's an awful plan,” he said, his voice reasonable. “she's going to be gone in a week.”

  “Isn't that the ideal situation?” Eric asked, his own voice betraying him, sounding more hopeless than excited at the idea.

  “You know...” Liam said, knowing he should probably just keep his mouth shut. She was just a crazy woman who had good hunches. There was absolutely no empirical evidence that the woman was psychic. “It's been two years,” he started cryptically. At Eric's raised brow, he went on. “Anna was here one day a few years back. When you guys were still dating. And I was... well... I was giving her a piece of my mind...”

  “You what?” Eric exploded, anger flooding his system suddenly. “You should have just stayed the hell out of it Liam. It had nothing to do with you.”

  Liam rolled his eyes, somehow making the gesture seem less juvenile and almost snobbish. “You were in love with her. She was jerking you around...”

  “She wasn't jerking me around,” Eric clarified, not knowing why he still felt the need to defend her. “She just wasn't sure what she wanted. And that ended up being Sam, not me.”

  “Yeah well if you'd let me speak,” Liam said, throwing back his drink. “I was lecturing her and Maude stormed in and told me to leave her alone. That Anna wasn't the one meant for you.”

  “Obviously,” Eric said, shaking his head. Where could this possibly be leading?

  “And that I needed to back off because in two years it would all make sense.”

  “What would all make sense?”

  Liam shrugged a shoulder. “Why Anna wasn't the right one.”

  “You're saying Lena is?” he asked, smiling slightly, the whiskey taking the edge off of his frustration.

  “I'm not saying anything,” Liam said, leaning back in his chair. “I'm just repeating something Maude told me.”

  Eric looked over at
his younger brother for a moment. Barely a year between them, but Liam always wearing his maturity like a badge of honor. Always logical. Always sensible. “You don't believe that Maude can see anything,” he said.

  “No,” Liam said, pouring them each another round. “But it is an interesting coincidence don't you think?”

  “I dunno,” Eric grumbled. As long as he remembered, Maude had always been five steps ahead of everyone else.

  Once, when he was about nine, out in the woods shooting arrows at trees... Maude had come running through a clearing, yelling at him to get to town and tell the sheriff she had found the missing Johnson boy. When he had gotten into town and burst into the office, the sheriff had just sat down with the frantic parents about to take down a report.

  Then there had been the time when she congratulated the Millers on the street two months before they realized they were expecting their first child after four years of infertility.

  Every year there were a half dozen or more new stories about Maude knowing something, predicting something that had yet to happen. Or meddling in relationships, forcing two people toward each other when she knew they were going to end up together one day.

  Maybe she did have some kind of sight. But that didn't necessarily mean she was always right. That she was right this time. That she was right about Lena.

  “What is it about her?” Liam asked, genuinely curious even though his tone came off a little incredulous as if he couldn't fathom what the draw was.

  Eric looked at Liam, wondering when was the last time he had seen him with a woman. Or with a woman for more than one night. Years? Had he ever actually dated anyone seriously?

  “Hell if I know,” Eric said, shaking his head. “She's just so...”

  “Uptight,” Liam supplied and Eric laughed.

  “Yeah, she's definitely that,” he conceded. “But I think it's just a guard.”

  “Guard against what?”

  “Me,” Eric smiled. “And you. And everyone else she meets.”