What The Heart Finds

by Gadziala, Jessica

  “And yet she hasn't said a word about that to me.”

  “You know her though. She wants to make sure it's organic. You cant make two people fall in love.”

  Eric nodded, taking the check from the waitress.

  “No no no,” the manager yelled from the front of the store, waving a hand at the waitress. “he fixed the generator. He's good her for the week.”

  Eric winked at the waitress, giving her the amount of the check as a tip before getting up and following Anna out of the diner.

  “So you're leaving,” she said as they stood on the sidewalk.

  “So I'm leaving,” he agreed, rocking back on his heels.

  Anna nodded for a second before throwing herself forward and wrapping her arms around his waist. “I'm not gonna have anyone to eat junk food with anymore,” she said, sounding like she was going to cry.

  “Ask your husband,” Eric suggested, putting his arms around her back.

  “He'll want me to even it out with broccoli,” she grumbled.

  “The monster,” Eric chuckled.

  Anna squeezed him tighter for a second, taking a deep breath. “I'm really, really going to miss you.”

  Eric nodded, feeling an overwhelming sadness. “I'm really, really going to miss you too darlin'.” And everyone else in the town.

  “Aright,” Anna said, stepping back and swatting at her eyes. “enough of that. You go out there and you get your girl,” she said, forcing a smile. “and come back here at least every other month.”

  “I promise,” Eric smiled, reaching out and ruffling her hair.

  “Bye Eric,” she said, nodding.

  “Bye sweetheart,” he said, moving past her and down the street before he changed his mind.

  He could do it. He let himself into his apartment and looked around, things already losing their meaning. The records he had listened to a million times. He could leave them. And the movies he had wasted countless hours watching could be left behind and he wouldn't ever really miss them.

  He shook his head. There really wasn't anything in his house that he would feel upset about not seeing again. How sad was that? All the years he had spent in those walls, surrounded by those things, and none of it meant anything.

  He walked into his bedroom, dragging an ancient suitcase out of the closet and throwing a bunch of casual clothes in. Just in case. In case things went right. In case she loved him too.

  Then he reached into the side of the closet he rarely had need for and pulled out a black suit. It was something he had invested in a few years before, expensive, expertly tailored, slim fit. Women, no matter their age or general male preferences, loved suits. It was just a fact of life he came to count on.

  He sighed, shaking his head. He needed to get some rest. He could leave first thing in the morning.

  But sleep barely came.

  At first light, he took the suit, black vest, white shirt, and striped black and gray tie and brought them into the bathroom, hanging them and turning on the water hot. If he was going to do it, he was going to do it right. He jumped in the shower, shaved his face, applied a small amount of cologne, and carefully got dressed.

  He went to the kitchen, grabbing all the food Lena had bought and throwing it into a trash bag. Grabbing his suitcase and car keys, he made his way down to the garage. Going around the building, he dropped the garbage into the dumpster and went back around to get into his car.

  “Now that's the way to do it,” Maude called from across the street.

  Eric smiled at her. “Got any advice for me?” he called back.

  “Nah,” Maude called, her voice sounding mysterious. Like she knew something.

  “Awe come on, you gorgeous thing. I need some direction so I don't fall on my face.”

  Maude looked like she was considering something for a long minute, before slowly making her way across the street. She stopped in front of him, reaching up to straighten his tie. “No advice. You know what to do. Just... be yourself. Not who you think you should be just because you're in a suit.”

  “That's... cryptic. But thanks. I'll see you around, Maude,” he said, leaning down and kissing her cheek. He got into his car quickly, trying to ignore the fact that she was pretty much the only maternal figure he had ever known and he wouldn't be able to be on the receiving end of her chastening or advice anymore.

  He turned the radio on and turned it loud enough to drown out the doubts inside. Because he was doing the right thing.

  He was getting the girl.

  Twenty-Four

  He climbed out of his car, his legs stiff and painful. It was a good thing he had to park several blocks down from EM Corporation. He needed to stretch out. Relax. Lose the practiced speech he had been playing in his head over the obnoxiously long ride. He didn't want to sound too polished, too stiff.

  He walked slowly, winking at a few women who smiled at him. He didn't know how he was going to adjust to the city. All the people, too close and loud. The crowded streets, making it impossible for him to enjoy a good joy ride. On the plus side, he reminded himself as he looked around, there were plenty of places to eat. Get real pizza. Chinese. Sushi. Everything that wasn't available anywhere near Stars Landing.

  A sign to his side caught his eye and he stopped, smiling widely. Perfect.

  Em Corp was a massive fifteen story building with gleaming windows and white stucco. Eric nodded up at it. No wonder her job was so important to her. He went in through the front doors, a small cardboard box tucked underneath his arm. He walked up to the security desk, telling them who he was there to see. One guard looked into the box with a raised brow.

  “Grand romantic gesture,” he said and the guard laughed, handing him a visitor badge and telling him to go to the top floor.

  Elliott let himself into the elevator, leaning against the wall for a second. This was it. He took a deep breath as the elevator stopped and chimed. Fifteen.

  The doors opened and he stepped off onto the floor, looking around. Three desks were on each side, manned by busy-looking employees. Apparently everyone had the work ethic of Lena.

  “Well, damn,” a soft male voice said at his side. Eric turned to find a man about Lena's age in a tight button-up shirt the color of new grass. “You are a fine looking piece of man meat,” he said, his tone serious.

  Eric chuckled. “Thanks.”

  “Can I help you find someone?”

  “Eric?” Hannah called, stopping dead in her tracks. “What the hell are you doing here?” she asked, dropping a folder on a desk and coming up to him.

  “Grand romantic gesture,” he said, more unsure of himself suddenly.

  “Lucky,” Tad grumbled.

  “Obviously not for me, Tad,” she said, rolling her eyes. “This is for Lena,” she clarified. “What's in the box?” she asked.

  Eric sent her a sheepish smile, holding the box out for her to see. Inside was a very white, very fluffy angora bunny.

  “I'm assuming that has some kind of significance to her?” Hannah asked, reaching out to touch it.

  “Yeah,” he said, tucking it back underneath his arm. “So where is she? I need to get this over with before I have a stroke.”

  Hannah looked up at him, her brows drawn together, her eyes small. “She's not here,” she said.

  “Oh,” Eric said, looking around. “bad timing, huh? When will she be back? I can wait.”

  Tad and Hannah exchanged a strange look. Tad shook his head and walked back toward an empty desk.

  Eric looked back at Hannah, his head tilted. “What's going on, Han?”

  Hannah grabbed his arm, pulling him toward the back of the room and through the door. Eric looked around the office, everything expensive and pristine. He turned slightly, seeing movement.

  And there was EM himself. Everything about him screaming success. He looked up when they came in, closing a file, and standing. He walked over toward Hannah, a curious turn to his lips a
s he glanced at Eric.

  “Is that a rabbit?” he asked, his tone casual and dry. As if it was the most normal thing to see animals in his office building.

  “Yeah...” Eric started, ready to explain, when Hannah interrupted him.

  “Eric,” she said slowly. “Lena quit.”

  Eric felt the air explode out of him, leaving him feeling light-headed. What did she mean, she quit? Lena would never quit. “What are you talking about?” he asked.

  “Oh,” Elliott broke in, sending a knowing smile toward his wife. “it makes sense now.”

  “I told you,” she shot back, shaking her head as only a wife who had carefully explained something to her husband, only to have him disbelieve her, can. She turned back toward Eric. “She came back and settled in. Elliott gave her the promotion she has been wanting for years. Great salary, great opportunities to travel and meet important people.”

  “Yeah... and?” he asked, wincing at the impatience in his voice.

  “I brought her to her office on her first day. She seemed alright. A little intimidated, but fine. And then the staff came and told me that sat at her desk for a minute looking really distressed. Then she got up... and walked out of the building.”

  Eric shook his head. “That doesn't sound like her.”

  “It's not,” Elliott agreed.

  “We figured,” she said, looking over at Elliott for a split second, her eyes soft. “that she was just stressed. It's hard to jump right back in after you've been gone for two weeks. Especially to jump into a new, even more stressful, job. So we just left her alone for the day.”

  “And then I came in the next morning to her standing by my desk, her resignation in her hand,” Elliott finished.

  “That's it? No explanation?”

  “She said she was sorry and thanked me for the opportunity, but that she needed to change her career path.”

  Eric looked around helplessly. He didn't have an address. He had no other way of getting in touch with her but work. And she didn't work there anymore.

  Hannah sighed, walking to the door and yelling out for Tad to come in.

  He looked around at them, sensing the strange mood in the room. “What's up, Hannah-Banana?”

  “You know where Lena lives, right?”

  “Yeah,” Tad said, eyeing Eric suspiciously.

  “Don't worry,” Hannah said, waving a hand. “I've known him all my life. He's harmless.”

  “He certainly doesn't look harmless,” he said, but looked back at Hannah. “You want me to bring you guys there?”

  “If you don't mind,” Hannah said, giving her husband a apologetic look. “You're gonna have to do without us for a bit.”

  “Go,” he said, waving a hand dismissively. “we'll be fine here.”

  They walked down the street together silently, Tad insisting that it was in walking distance. Elliott suspected he just wanted an opportunity to be away from the office for longer because they had been walking for about half an hour before he finally declared they were almost there.

  “She lives here?” He looked up at the building, suspicious and disbelieving. It looked like a hole in the wall. Not the kind of place neat, professional Lena Edwards would live.

  “Cheap apartment,” Tad said, opening the main door. “really expensive furniture.” He led them up a few flights of stairs, the elevator having a out of order sign that was covered in dust. He stopped in front of a door at the end of a hall and knocked. “Lena, doll, open up... it's...” he looked at Eric and Hannah. “me,” he finished, sending them a shrug. “Lena... come on...”

  Hannah moved closer, concern between her brows. “Do you have a key?”

  “Yeah,” Tad said, pulling out a chain full as a janitor's. “just let me find it,” he said, sifting. “Oh, here,” he said, holding one up. “she painted it with white nail polish at the top so I would know which one was hers.”

  “How very like her,” Hannah laughed.

  Tad unlocked the door and pushed it open, all three of them moving in almost at once. And finding it completely empty.

  “What the hell?” Tad asked, turning in a circle.

  Eric felt an emptiness spreading inside. Disappointment and defeat mixing together and making him feel unsteady. He put the rabbit box down on the floor and leaned against a wall, running a hand down his face.

  “Why wouldn't she tell me if she was leaving?” Tad asked, moving in to check the bed and bath rooms. “she completely cleaned this place out.” He looked at Hannah and Eric. “There had to have been some kind of plan. I mean... she wouldn't just up and walk away from her entire life. Not without some kind of safety net.”

  “Eric,” Hannah said, watching him. He looked up at her, his eyes dull and confused. “Do you think it's possible...”

  Eric raised his brow as her sentence trailed off. “Possible that what?”

  “That... you know... you came here... maybe she...”

  “Went there,” Tad finished for her, both of them eyeing him.

  “No,” he said, shaking his head. “there was nothing there for her.”

  “You were there,” Hannah objected.

  “And she was mad at me, babe,” he said, remembering the chilly goodbye. Remembering her rejection, sharp and fresh as it had been several days ago.

  “Ohh,” Tad broke in. “can you call me babe?”

  “Sure... babe,” Eric said casually.

  Tad put a hand to his chest, fluttering his eyelashes. “Be still my heart.”

  “Tad,” Hannah scolded. “boyfriend.”

  “Oh, right,” he smiled. “but... how could she stay mad at him? With a face like that?”

  Hannah rolled her eyes. “Oh he's a pain in the ass. You have no idea.”

  “Thanks, darlin',” Eric said, standing up straighter. “I appreciate the vote of confidence.”

  Hannah looked over at him, guilty. “Sorry. You really are a good guy. And, for what it's worth... when I talked to her, she seemed to be pretty into you.”

  “Yeah, well,” he said, waving a hand around the room. “not enough.” He leaned down and picked up the box, looking at the rabbit flopping around, unsure of his change of surroundings. “Looks like it's just me and you, dude,” he said, tucking it back under his arm. “Tad,” he said, extending his hand. “thanks a lot for bringing me here. Hannah,” he said, walking over and kissing her temple. “thanks for all the insults. It was like old times. I'll see you at Christmas,” he said, walking out of the apartment and taking the stairs as quickly as possible.

  He walked back up the street Tad had led them on, barely aware of his surroundings. If he got back in his car and pushed the speed limit a bit, he could be back in town by nightfall. Put the whole incident behind him.

  He had given it a shot. That was all anyone could expect him to do.

  He got back to his car twenty minutes later, putting the box on the passenger side floor. He drove out of the city in a sort-of numb state. Not denying his feelings because he found himself strangely devoid of them.

  The rabbit started stomping somewhere in the middle of New Jersey, pulling his front feet close to his body and thumping his back feet on the cardboard. Eric looked down at him, nodding his head. “I second that sentiment,” he said, smiling. “Well,” he said to the dashboard, “at least I have someone to come home to now. And buy groceries for.” He laughed humorlessly at himself, turning the music back up and trying to shrug the entire day off.

  He pulled back into Stars Landing much later than expected. It was well after midnight and the town was deserted. He pulled his car behind the building and let himself and the rabbit and the small sample bag of rabbit food into his apartment.

  “Alright,” he said, setting the box on the floor and dropping a few pieces of rabbit chow in with him. “I am going to go make you some sort of cage,” he said, moving off toward the bedroom, stripping out of his clothes.

  He let himself into the sh
op, working early into the morning, working until he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore. Until he was too tired to even think. He hauled the cage up the stairs and set it down next to the couch in the living room. He picked up the rabbit and put him in, filling a spare bowl with the food and a dish with water, before going toward his room and falling into bed.

  He slipped under the covers, pulling a pillow down. And that's when she crept back in. A fresh, alarming twinge in his chest. Because his bed still smelled like her.

  Twenty-Five

  He woke up late into the afternoon, feeling sluggish and lazy. He took a shower and threw on comfortable clothes. The rabbit was happily munching away on his food and Eric grabbed his wallet. He needed to go get some fresh fruits and vegetables for him.

  He walked into the bookstore, lured by the promise of strong coffee. “Yo, Liam,” he called into the empty store, walking into the cafe where he would usually find him. But it was empty.

  “Eric?” Liam asked, sounding confused as he came into view. He slunk behind the counter and started pouring the coffee. “What are you doing here?”

  “I got back in last night,” he said, shaking his head. “It was a bust.”

  “Yeah?” Liam asked, a strange tone to his voice.

  “Yeah I got there, bought her a rabbit....”

  “You bought her a rabbit?” Liam asked, his brows drawing together as he handed Eric his coffee.

  “Yeah. It's a thing,” he rolled his eyes. “and then I went to her work...”

  “How's Hannah doing?” Liam broke in.

  “What is with the interruptions?” Eric asked, looking at his brother. “What's up with you? You're acting weird.”

  “Nothing. Everything is fine. So you got to her work....”

  “And Hannah is doing great. Her husband looks at her like she hung the moon. Anyway... she quit.”