The Emperor's Concubine

by Killarney Sheffield

  Sol is there waiting as promised when Danika and I leave the office. “Sol, there is to be a public bedding. Oh Sol, I can’t do this.”

  “Shh.” He leads me away from an approaching woman in a copper red wig. “Let’s not talk about it here. We will figure something out. I promise.”

  We make our way back to the Emperor’s mansion. We arrive in time for my allotted luncheon with the Empress. There are no words to express my dread at having to face the vile woman across the table, but I have little choice.

  The woman is already seated at the table when I’m shown into the second floor private dining room. “You’re late. In the future, I expect you to be here at exactly one o’clock.”

  “Yes, Empress, I was at my doctor appointment.” A servant pulls out a chair for me with a veiled look of sympathy and I take my seat. In the awkwardness that ensues I stare at the gold edged dinner plate and silverware.

  “Oh, wonderful.”

  Her sour tone has me peeking at her out of the corner of my eye. For someone who should be happy, she doesn’t sound amused. If anything, I would have thought my further humiliation would please her since her obvious dislike for me speaks volumes.

  “And what did Doctor Mitchel have to say?” For some reason she’s not happy. Despite the stiff smile, her eyes glitter with malice.

  Treading on egg shells I clear my throat. “He said the bedding ceremony should take place on Friday.”

  “I suppose it will be well to get it done and over with so soon.” She stabs her fork into the chicken Caesar salad on her plate with so much force a crouton flies from her plate and skids across the table.

  I can safely assume she is as repulsed by the ceremony as I am. The idea puzzles me.

  The Empress meets my thoughtful gaze with a hostile one of her own. “Did you think I would enjoy this? Do you think having my infertility rubbed in my face would be enjoyable? I suppose you think watching you spread your young, healthy thighs for my husband is titillating for me?”

  “No...”

  The older woman is silent as a servant arrives with iced tea. Once the man leaves she glares across the table. “Do not think to find a friend here, girl. Remember while you offer your wares for my husband’s enjoyment you are a slut, nothing but a means to an end. You will have served your purpose when I hold my child in my arms.” She impales her salad again with such ruthless force I shudder. “Eat your meal and remove yourself from my sight.”

  Slack jawed, I stare at her, my appetite long gone. “Why are you doing this then? Why permit my rape?”

  “Rape?” The Empress laughs. “Do not try to make me pity you for spreading your legs. Your family gains standing in the community, you will be seen as a savoir of mankind just for lying there. And you’ll enjoy it.” When I shake my head the woman sneers. “Oh, you’ll like it. What man would not be excited to pleasure a sweet young thing like you? He’ll come running to your bed without a thought of mine, as he abandoned me years ago. Enjoy it while you can, girl. In the end I will have my revenge and a child to hold up to the world and you will have nothing.” With that, she tosses her napkin on the table and stalks from the room.

  In stunned silence, I merely sit there for a moment. Dr. White never prepared me for the hatred. I have no choice, yet the woman hates me as if I parade myself naked to the Emperor’s bed. It’s evil and twisted. Why doesn’t the woman hate her husband for his own plan? Sick to my stomach, I place my napkin on the table and slink from the room.

  * * *

  My emotions are chaotic as I make my way along the passageway and then up the ladder to the roof top that evening. Sol is already there waiting, seated cross-legged far enough from the edge so as not to be seen from below. I cross to sit beside him as the dome changes from daylight to dusk in a dazzling array of color. When he gathers me to him and kisses me with tender care I struggle to keep from weeping. Instead, I allow myself to return his kiss and then snuggle against his shirt. “We have to get out of here, Sol, I can’t do this. I won’t go through with the bedding ceremony.”

  His hands caress my back. “It is still a few days away. We will think of something before then.”

  “I mean it, Sol.” Sitting up I search his eyes. “I can’t lie with that man.”

  He brushes a lock of hair from my eyes. “I know. I won’t let that happen. You are my reason for living, Ocean.”

  I’ve never fully considered what Sol must be going through and it shames me. A sob bubbles up and I let my tears flow in the safe privacy of his embrace. “A girl’s first time is supposed to be special, gentle, romantic... not while a priest and an angry wife watch, and an evil man ruts on her. My first time is supposed to be with you, Sol.”

  “And I want that too. I swear I will kill that demented bastard if I get the chance, if only to save you, even if it means my death, but I suspect it will mean the death of you and the rest of the girls if I try it.” In utter despair he hangs his head. “I will find a way to stop it if it kills me, Ocean. I swear.”

  We hold each other close as the sunset fades into the darker hues of night, taking what little solace and comfort in each other we can.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Tamping down my raw emotion for so long has my stomach in knots, and I can’t eat my breakfast Thursday morning. It’s not my scheduled day, yet I make my way to the shopping district to meet with Dr. White as summoned. His office is bright and cheery, unlike the mundane white of the medical hub where I first met him.

  He smiles when I’m shown in. “Ah, Ocean, I am pleased to see you. How do you fare at the Emperor’s?”

  Giving him a strained smile, I sit as the receptionist closes the door behind me. “I’m happy to see you too, Dr. White.” I scan the ceiling for cameras.

  “There are no cameras here, Ocean, you may speak freely.”

  All my emotion comes to a head. Clenching my fingers together, I plead with him. “You have to get me out of here. The bedding ceremony is tomorrow night. I can’t do it. I won’t. I will kill myself first.”

  “Ocean, calm yourself. Take a deep breath.” He smiles when I comply. “We are trying for an escape by then, but I can’t promise anything. These things take time, we must have the right people in place where we need them to be, or it will fail and we will all die.”

  I want to trust him, really I do, yet... “Please,” slips between my lips, sounding so pathetic I am ashamed.

  He reaches across the desk and cradles my hands in his. His voice softens. “We are doing everything we can, I promise you. In the event you must go through with the bedding ceremony, all I can do is offer you this.” He reaches into his drawer and takes something out. Taking my hand, he flips it over and places a little blue pill in it with a grim smile. “This will put you in a suspended reality, you won’t remember anything. Take it fifteen minutes before the ceremony is to begin. It is the best I can do if things don’t go as planned.”

  I stare at the little pill on my palm. It can’t come down to this. It just can’t.

  * * *

  Sol is waiting for me when I climb onto the roof that evening. The spot where we usually sit is transformed into a bed. Pale ivory satin sheets shimmer, surrounded by flickering candle light. The air is thick with the aroma of dozens of sweet smelling flowers which clutter the small area, their deep red petals contrasting with the sheets. “Oh, Sol... how did you do all this?”

  “Being an enforcer gives you perks. Like being able to raid the emperor’s garden without anyone thinking you are doing anything but gathering flowers for the Empress.” With a grin he picks up the guitar at his feet and strums a few bars before launching into a soft love song.

  What’s the sound that you will make forever

  Less or more if all would cry for you,

  Underneath the twilight moon in leather

  or in a song with loving eyes on you.

  If you told them everything tonight

  If you found the words for sadness too,

  Wo
uld it make you anything the better

  Is there anything that it would do?

  And we’re going to tell your story forever

  And we’re going to sing this song for you.

  No one really wants to live forever,

  The flowers on the counter are for you.

  So you picked the moment to remember

  a thousand eyes and twenty colored lights

  You disappeared into the circle too,

  then you stopped and smiled but no one knew.

  And we’re going to tell your story forever

  And we’re going to sing your song for you.

  No one really wants to live forever

  The flowers all along the wall are for you.

  Never stop, never die

  Never sleep and never sigh.

  You should know those you love never want to see you cry,

  The flowers on the rooftop are for you.

  What’s the sound that you will make forever

  Less or more if I would cry for you,

  Underneath the twilight moon in leather

  or in a song with loving eyes on you

  And we’re going to tell your story forever

  And we’re going to name a star for you.

  No one really wants to live forever

  The flowers on the rooftop are for you,

  The flowers on the rooftop are for you.

  As the final notes fade away, I’m left wondering how Sol knew my inner thoughts of death. Deep down inside I know he feels me as I feel him. When all is said and done, if we escape, if we survive, or if we die, will the citizens of Imram sing our song forever?

  He sets the guitar on the ground and crosses to where I stand in awe to cup my hands in his. “Ocean, I love you. Never give up. We will be together either in freedom, or death. If things don’t go as planned, if we don’t make it out of this waking nightmare, I don’t want your first time to be a horrible memory.”

  “Sol...”

  “Ocean Delaney, I am asking you to let me make love to you.”

  The eyes of the boy who’s grown into the man I love are filled with tenderness. “I want to make love to you, Sol, but... the Emperor will find out.”

  “No, he won’t. I have a plan. Just say yes, Ocean, make love with me, here and now, amongst the flowers. It seems only right it be on the rooftop under the stars, even if they are artificial. My love for you is real even if they aren’t.”

  Unable to refute his reasoning, I melt into his arms. He claims my lips with his, the kiss slow and sensual. My arms wind their way around his neck and he draws me closer with a groan. Our kiss gains momentum, growing hungry and desperate. It is him I’ve wanted, him I’ve always needed. I can’t remember when I fell in love with him. And no matter what tomorrow brings, I will always love him.

  We move as one to the bedroll as the sky melts from sunset to evening. Sol lays me down and leans above me on his elbows. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too.” I stare deep into his eyes, hoping he can see how much I love him.

  He reaches down and brushes the robe off my shoulder. Trailing little kisses down my neck and across my collarbone, he makes his way to my breast. “I will die for you.”

  It must never come to that.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Swaying, I steady myself with a hand on the bed columns. The little blue pill is already taking effect, but the Emperor hasn’t arrived yet. Careful to keep the little packet secured to the inside of my wrist from being squished, I sit and fold my hands in my lap.

  The bedroom door opens and the Emperor walks in followed by his wife and the so called priest. I lower my gaze and huddle there, stiff and silent. A pair of shiny black shoes enter my line of vision and I close my eyes to block them out. Please go away.

  “I am here to witness the breaking of the holy seal and thus the start of new life for Imram.”

  Holy seal, ha! There is nothing holy about this union.

  The priest says a prayer and sprinkles holy water on my head before flipping back the covers to inspect the cream colored silk sheets. Satisfied there is no trickery at foot, he blesses them and then steps back.

  “Empress, your blessing on this union.”

  When the empress comes forward, I raise my head to stare with challenge at the older woman. If looks could kill I swear the empress is wishing me to drop dead at this very moment. Her dark eyes carry more loathing than I can even summon for myself. The empress leans in under the guise of kissing my cheek and whispers, “May you conceive quickly so I may draw your blood after my husband does this night, slut.”

  I glare, knowing my blood will not be spilled this night.

  “The union is blessed, Emperor.”

  With the priest on one side and the Empress on the other I lay back on the bed. Rolling to my knees, I press my face into the pillow as my head swims. My robe is tossed up, exposing my bare backside. Voices fade and I let my befuddled mind wander to making love beneath the fake stars with Sol. So many stars. So caring and gentle. I struggle to stay on my knees as the Emperor thrusts into me. Sol’s hands caressing my body, making me writhe beneath him. My body felt so alive. Soft words of passion easing the pain of a first time. My mind slips closer to the blackness of the drug and I struggle to stay coherent. I must not forget the packet. The bed shakes with the Emperor’s effort. I turn my head and smirk at the Empress who stands stony-eyed and silent as she looks on. You can see me stripped of my dignity but never my heart, you callous bitch! As suddenly as the assault on my body begins, it stops. Wetness oozes down the inside of my thighs.

  “Turn over and prove the act is done, concubine.”

  At the priest’s command, I roll over. Blinking, I try to collect myself before sliding my hand down to my violated place. Holding the white sleeve of my robe to my wrist I press it against my wet mound hard enough to break the thin tube. Sol’s blood soaks through the cloth and smears my inner thighs. With an arrogant smile, I reveal the sleeve to show the red smear marring it. “It is done, my Emperor.”

  The priest says a prayer for quick conception of an heir, sprinkles more holy water around and then they all leave. Sickened by both the act and the drugs, I lay back on the bed and stare at the canopy swirling above my blurry eyes. Take that, you bastard! The door opens. Soft footsteps pad across the room and stop by the bed. I turn my head to meet Danica’s sympathetic, tear filled gaze.

  “I’m so sorry, Ocean.”

  Hard to form words slur from my slack lips, “’s’kay.” Suddenly I’m giddy and giggling. Is it the effects of the drug, or am I finally losing my mind? I don’t know and sadly don’t care. “We... got the bastard. The priest blessed my holy seal. Only it was already blessed... last night by Sol.”

  Danica’s eyes widen. “Are you saying you and Sol... and you aren’t a virgin?”

  Nodding, I lift my arm to show the little vial, now empty of Sol’s blood taped to my inner wrist. “The Emperor may use my body, but I wasn’t going to let him take what’s mine and Sol’s. My first time belongs... to the one I love.” With a smile, I let the drug claim me.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Danika and I walk to the elevator the following Monday to attend the concubine meeting. The doors open before either of us pushes the button and Sol reaches from within to hold the elevator. Our eyes meet briefly before sliding away. I can’t bear to see the judgment, or pain that might linger in his gaze, so I enter the elevator and look at the floor as Danika follows. The doors close behind with a swish and then it starts down. The silence is unnerving, but I can’t think of anything to say.

  “Ocean?”

  I don’t look up. “I’m fine, Sol.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes.” No matter how hard I try to keep my lips and voice from quivering and betraying my distress, I think I’ve failed. I’m not fine, but I can’t let him see it. The doors open and I stalk across the foyer and out into the courtyard, suddenly angry, at whom I’m not enti
rely certain. Anger, shame, hurt, humiliation, used and abused are only the tip of the emotions I cram down inside. After the effects of the little blue pill wore off I spent the early hours of the morning staring at the canopy above the bed and contemplating my existence. Many things occurred to me in those dark hours, terrible things. Things like the resolution of the concubine program. We are raised to believe we’re only faceless identical cogs of the wheel. Told to be grateful our emperor protects us safe inside the bubble of Imram while all the while we’re anything but safe. Herded like cattle, fattened and groomed for the show ring, and then sent to the breeding pen. Once we fulfill our purpose we will be led to slaughter by the ones we’re chosen to help, the wives of Imram’s elite. The revelation is blood curdling.

  When we enter the pageant hall I suppress a shudder. Security is thick, unlike in the official’s hub. Two enforcers guard the doors and each girl arrives with her personal maid and enforcer. Chairs are arranged in a semi-circle facing the stage. After each concubine is seated in the first row and the maids in the second, a black clad woman takes the stage.

  She claps her hands to gain everyone’s attention. “Girls, girls, quiet down now.” When the room is silent she continues, “I am Mrs. Williams, your midwife. We will meet here each week to learn the skills needed to raise the officials’ children.”

  Ashley raises her hand. “I was told once we bear the two required children, we will be sent back home to the hubs.”

  The midwife pastes a stiff smile to her lips. “Yes, after both children have reached a year and are no longer nursing.”

  I have to bite my lip to keep from yelling out the truth. The other girls need to know, but I must bide my time until the right hour and place to tell them. Brooding, I sit back, not really listening as the midwife launches into an explanation about the beginning stages of pregnancy. It is easy to tell the girls who’ve had their bedding ceremony. Drawn, pale faces with dark circles under the eyes are a dead giveaway. Did they too spend sleepless hours pondering their futures after the horrible deed? Did they come to the same conclusions as me? I glance up at the ceiling and spy the tiny black camera’s blinking red light. No, now is not the time, or the place. Thankfully the meeting doesn’t last long.