Alien in Chief

by Gini Koch

  “We’re fine,” Jeff said to both of us. “Chuck, relax.”

  “Don’t worry, we’ve got this,” Reader said, as Gower sat on Chuckie’s other side. Reader stayed standing behind both of them, possibly because he was betting on us not having enough chairs. “Planes are in the air.”

  By key people, Armstrong meant Jeff, me, Alpha Team, and Raj. I’d insisted on Christopher and White being here, too, and Chuckie had insisted on Oliver and Stryker. Caroline had done the insisting on her own, on behalf of Senator McMillan.

  Tim, Claudia, and Lorraine brought up the rear. Our people definitely outnumbered those Armstrong had brought with him. Then again, our people were the ones the Planetary Council was likely coming to visit.

  Armstrong’s wife Elaine was in the car, but only to leave it once the rest of us had come in. Which was a pity, because I really liked her. On the other hand, I couldn’t blame her for scampering off to hang out with everyone else and have food and drinks. I could envy her, and I did, but I couldn’t blame her.

  Sadly, in addition to Ariel, Armstrong had his Secretary of State with us as well. I’d personally had no opinion of her when she’d first taken the job, but Other Me from Bizarro World had hated her, and told Buchanan to be sure to tell me to keep an eye on Strauss at all times.

  That intel had been helpful, and by now I was fairly sure that Strauss was anti-alien, though she was hiding it really well. It was something that I couldn’t bring up with Armstrong—he thought Strauss was doing a bang-up job and she was indeed loyal to him. But she took any chance to discredit Jeff or American Centaurion with gusto, though always in a way that appeared to be coming from a place of concern. If we had a leak, mole, or internal enemy who wasn’t Langston Whitmore or Cliff Goodman, I was certain Monica Strauss was it.

  Once we were gathered, instead of discussing what to do in Florida, or in case of an attack while we were going down to Florida, or even discussing the escaped assassins and such, it was all talk of what we were campaigning about at each stop. In between Armstrong, Ariel, and Strauss all sniffling and looking like they didn’t feel all that great. We were apparently going to be bringing the common cold with us as a defensive measure. Well, it had worked in War of the Worlds.

  I heard the campaigning words, but my mind closed the Ear Windows and wouldn’t let any of the boring inside. Instead, since no one else appeared to be worrying about this, I contemplated all the myriad ways our enemies were going to try to attack us. There were so many possibilities that I was completely occupied. At least until I heard my name.

  “Sorry?” was all I could come up with.

  “I asked your opinion,” Armstrong said nicely. Clearly he’d thought I’d been paying attention. Go me for my college Totally Paying Attention Face still being good.

  Christopher was in the room, however, and I knew he knew that I hadn’t been, because he shot me an award-winning Patented Glare #5. This, of course, told me nothing other than the fact that Christopher felt I’d blown it. Hey, not my fault all the blah, blah, blah was getting to me.

  Thankfully, though, Reader, who’d been walking around the room once everyone had started talking and was now opposite me, was the one who shared what was going on. “I know you want Vince to make up his own mind, Kitty, but I think it’s important that you share your opinion on whether or not we discuss the Planetary Council’s impending arrival at any or all of the various stops we’re going to make.”

  Interesting. I hadn’t caught any of this. Clearly my brain needed to open my Ear Windows at least a crack. However, my father had always taught me that if you didn’t want to answer, or didn’t have an answer, it was always acceptable to answer a question with another question.

  “I think the issue is—how much of the Planetary Council’s visit are we planning to share with the general population?”

  Reader shot me a “good one” look, as Armstrong, Ariel, and Strauss all nodded in that way political types seem to learn quickly—the nod that made you think they were giving whatever you’d said some serious thought.

  Strauss was the one who took the question, though. “You’ve made a good point, Ambassador. We honestly have no idea what the Planetary Council will expect. That’s why all of you are along for this particular journey—because we expect you to anticipate their expectations so we can plan accordingly. After all, your first career was in marketing. We’re asking you for your recommendations for how we spin this.”

  It was official—Other Me had pegged this woman correctly. Pity she’d had no suggestions for how to deal with her. And it was also a pity that, realistically, Strauss was right—I was probably the one who should be coming up with the right spin.

  Raj cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, Ambassador. Due to the circumstances that delayed my arrival, I wasn’t able to give you our finalized position papers on this. However, if you’d like me to share them with everyone, I’d be happy to do so.”

  “Carry on, Raj. That’s your bailiwick.” Made a mental note that, whatever Raj’s salary was, it needed to be doubled the moment we were home.

  He turned and gave Strauss a beaming troubadour smile. “American Centaurion is, of course, excited that beings from our original solar system are choosing to come to further strengthen relations with Earth. However, considering this was an impromptu trip on both sides, and since we have the same intelligence as you do, meaning we have no more information about why the Planetary Council has chosen now to visit, we don’t want to push any particular agenda.”

  “Though we’re fairly sure that they’ve picked up the discussions to close NASA Base,” White said. “And I’m certain they’re concerned about that.”

  I was certain that White was going to make sure the Planetary Council expressed concerns about the potential closing, whether they knew about it already or were going to find out once White told them about it in such a way that they would insist it remain open and viable.

  “Add on the fact that we have prisoners out of supermax,” Reader added, “and we’re probably better off not giving anyone any ideas.”

  I was certainly on the side of not giving wacked out assassins and surviving Yates progeny any ideas at all, but I had a feeling they were full of ideas regardless of my thoughts on the matter.

  All four of the men now looked at me. Clearly it was time for me to cough up the definitive reply. “Hence, I suggest that we focus on campaigning until we’re at NASA Base.”

  “Is that your recommendation?” Strauss asked. A tad too eagerly for my liking.

  Considered options. Decided that, barring Strauss, we were among friends and this was supposed to be the War Room, not the Position Papers Room. And I was already tired of having to act like a politician. Plus, despite the snack from earlier, I was hungry.

  “No.”

  CHAPTER 34

  EVERYONE STARED AT ME. “Excuse me?” Strauss said finally.

  “I hate campaigning. I think us doing it constantly is a hell of a way to earn a living. I realize that it’s par for the political course, but it’s not a game I enjoy.”

  “So you’re saying that you think we should, what, share that the Planetary Council is coming?” Strauss seemed thrown by someone speaking honestly. Good.

  “I think that you and Ariel and many others spent the last week and definitely the last twenty-four hours getting every possible position for Vince ready. I think you have them. Why you’re not sharing them with us is the question.”

  “We want to know what you’ve formulated first.”

  “Why? So you can tell us we’re wrong, tell us we’re right, or just to keep things interesting on a long journey?”

  “Ah, no to all of those, Ambassador. We want to work together. We want to know what you think are the right courses of action. Isn’t that what you’d recommend?”

  “You want to really know what I think, what I recommend? I thi
nk we’re wasting a hell of a lot of time. I think we’ve got escaped murderers out there who are absolutely after everyone on this train. I think we have allies who want to visit us for reasons we don’t know. I think three of you are sick, in part because you’ve probably spent so much time on all this crap. And I recommend we disband and relax until we have to do the ridiculous dog and pony show that’s our cover for why we’re going down to Florida in the first place.”

  Strauss had recovered and was trying not to smirk. She wasn’t succeeding, but points to her for trying. “Ambassador, you’re sounding a bit like a loose cannon.”

  “That’s because I am the loose cannon. And what a freaking surprise that totally isn’t to everyone in this car. Look, Monica, it’s going to be a good two hours until our first stop in Richmond. We can spend that time suggesting and recommending and pussyfooting around. Or you can come right damn out and tell us what you think we should do, and we can agree or disagree.”

  “We wanted your thoughts—”

  “Oh, bullpookey. Let’s face it—the moment the first person asks a question about the escaped killers, we’re going to be busy sharing how we’re ever so confident that law enforcement of all kinds will track them down that we won’t have time to mention that we’re headed to a reunion party at NASA Base. And what’s your position on that, Monica?”

  She shot a look at Mom. “We regret that our security was breached.”

  “See, I don’t like your tone, or your insinuation. If there was a breach, it was in the Pentagon. Where, frankly, you’re supposed to have guards. You, the Secretary of State, along with Secretary of Defense, are who has the responsibility for the supermax, under the Pentagon. Meaning we should be asking you, specifically, Monica, what you’re going to do about it. So, what’s your plan?”

  “Ah . . . I have none. That’s not really my area—”

  “Bullpookey again. And, let’s also face it, you’re trying to get us to recommend or suggest, or whatever the hell weasel word you’re hoping we’ll use, a course of action so that if things go wrong, you’ll be able to blame us for it. Just like you’re hoping to blame us for the supermax escapees. You want to set it up so you can blame us if things go wrong, anything and everything.”

  I leaned across the table toward her. “But, get this straight, right here and right now. You’re not ‘allowing’ us on this trip—we’re generously allowing you to come along. The only people who are friends with and have any influence over the Planetary Council and the rest of the folks in the Alpha Centauri solar system are us. So don’t think that you’re going to run this show—this is our area of expertise.”

  This time she did smirk. “So you’re accepting responsibility for their actions?”

  “Hardly, any more than I’d accept responsibility for your actions, Monica. Because influence doesn’t mean we tell them what to do, any more than they tell us what to do. It means we can hope to keep them happy about Earth, or ask them for help, and vice versa. However, I can guarantee that they’re coming here right now for a reason. Richard may be right—that reason may be that they’re concerned about the status of NASA Base. It is the place that’s been receiving and, presumably, replying to their messages for decades, after all.”

  “Gideon Cleary is meeting us in Orlando and will be doing what he can to support keeping that Base open.”

  “Yes, he is. He’s also got influence with all those people trying to close the Base. And yet, for our current example, he can’t make them change their minds just because he wants them to, can he?”

  I wasn’t asking rhetorically. So I waited, keeping eye contact with Strauss and also keeping my mouth shut. Thankfully, I’d trained everyone we worked with in this particular sales technique—once the offer or, in this case, the question was out there, the first person to speak was the loser.

  Strauss tried, but, unlike me, her boss was sitting next to her, also not speaking. She gave in. “No. He can’t make people change their minds just because he’s changed his.”

  “Exactly. But there may be a whole lot more going on than we know about. There usually is. We can spend the trip guessing wildly, prepping plans for all possibilities, and you and I can literally and figuratively have a cat fight the entire time. Or we can accept that we have a whole lot of smart, competent people on this train, and decide that we’ll roll with the punches as they come. I realize that’s not the Political Weasel Word of the Day Way, but it’s our way, and I strongly suggest you try our way for a while.”

  “We’re on the same side, Ambassador.”

  “No, we’re not. Vince is on our side. Ariel is on our side. You? You I’m not convinced are on our side.” Felt Jeff and Chuckie both stiffen next to me.

  “I’m on the side of what’s best for this country and her people,” Strauss said firmly. “All her people, and that includes those who have come here from other countries or other planets.”

  “Nice to hear.” I didn’t believe it, but the lip service was a pleasant change. “However, when things go wrong, as they always do, if you so much as try to blame American Centaurion for anything up to and including the escaped prisoners or any issues with the visiting aliens from far, far away, then you’re going to find yourself on the wrong side of our good will. And that might not be a place you’ll like to be.”

  I leaned back. “Or maybe that’s exactly where you want to be. But you will not be making American Centaurion your fall guy for anything.”

  “American Centaurion is our ally and are our people,” Armstrong added.

  Strauss nodded. “That’s not my intent, Ambassador, and I agree with the President. We are all on the same side here.” She picked up the papers in front of her and tapped them on the table. Then she put them face down. “We’ll focus on standard campaign discussions, lots of smiling, hand shaking, and waving. This is impromptu, so we’re likely to hit very few stops where it’s packed. Due to the breakout, however, we can and should expect press, probably more as we get closer to Orlando.”

  “See?” I asked. “Was that so hard? I agree. I’d suggest we have Raj and Ariel do most of the talking, with Vince and Jeff doing most of the smiling and waving.”

  “I agree,” Strauss said. “And I think that while we want to show that you and the First Lady are along, we don’t necessarily want the two of you speaking.”

  “I wouldn’t want the loose cannon speaking either, so no worries there.”

  Strauss laughed and, for whatever reason, I felt like we’d just crossed some line together. Whether it was a good, bad, or indifferent line I didn’t know. “Good point. So, since we’re just going to hang out and chat, what are your thoughts about the escaped criminals? Do we have enough security?”

  “You can never have enough security, as the escape just amply proved. And my thoughts about the escapees are pretty simple—shoot them on sight, and shoot to kill.”

  CHAPTER 35

  STRAUSS AND ARIEL looked shocked, Armstrong looked concerned. “You’re sure?” he asked me.

  “Vince, I’m sure they’re going to shoot to kill us. These are people we’ve been dealing with since before Operation Destruction. They want us and all of our allies killed. You’re an ally and the most powerful man in the world right now. I’d have to figure you and Jeff both have the same targets on your heads.”

  “I don’t know how we add more security than we have without making the population panic,” Armstrong said.

  “I think we’re good with who we have with us.” Why mention that I was fairly sure that at least part of Team Assassination was on their way down to Florida to provide backup? Or point out how many of our people were prepared to fight, which was, realistically, everyone other than Vance.

  “It’s security at each stop that’s the issue,” Mom said. “We have Secret Service, A-C Field, and P.T.C.U. agents assigned to each station. However, all it takes is one bullet that hits t
he mark.”

  “We’ll be fine,” Jeff said. “Vince, I honestly suggest everyone just relax for this part of the trip. We’ll probably all be better off if we’re less stressed.”

  “You’d know, Jeff,” Armstrong said. “Let’s do what the Vice President suggests.”

  The meeting broke up with everyone, the President included, heading out toward the dining car. We continued on through our car, and Jeff indicated the others should keep going and we’d catch up. But he kept a hold of Chuckie and Mom both in a surreptitious manner I was pretty sure no one had caught but me.

  However, that meant it was going to be obvious that they were hanging back, and I had to figure Jeff didn’t want that. “Hey, Mom, Chuckie, can you two hang here for a minute? I have a clothing question.”

  “Sure, kitten,” Mom said. Chuckie nodded.

  Armstrong grinned. “Whatever you wear will be fine, Kitty.”

  “Oh, you say that now, but I guarantee it’s not so.” We all chuckled and Armstrong and the others kept moving.

  Once everyone else was through and it was back to the standard personnel for our car, Jeff turned to me. “You don’t like Monica. I know it’s because the other version of you didn’t like her. Chuck, what’s your impression of her?”

  “I think she’s a political animal of the highest order and has her eyes on your job and then Vince’s,” Chuckie replied immediately. “But I’m not sure that Kitty should have called her out in this way at this time.”

  “She should have,” Jeff said, voice tight. “Because I didn’t pick up any animosity or hatred from Monica, and the stress level was also very low.”

  “Meaning she’s wearing an emotional blocker or overlay,” Buchanan said.

  Mom’s eyes flashed. “You think she was responsible for the breakout?”

  “I think the Secretary of State is four heartbeats away from the Presidency, and if you consider that two of those heartbeats are on this train, a third heartbeat was attacked, and the last one, despite current events, is probably not under the highest guard possible, I’d say the odds go up to at least even.”