1 The Bitches of Everafter

by Barbra Annino

  Snow widened her eyes. Did Bella feel it too? Was something happening to her as well? “It does? How so?”

  “I don’t know. It’s the curtains.” She waved her hand toward them. “Or maybe the fireplace, or—” She stopped short, as if she were about to reveal something she wanted no one to ever know. Something that would cause her a great deal of pain.

  Her tone brightened as she sprung over to the fireplace. “Or maybe there’s a magical linen closet hidden behind that wall.” She looked at Snow and added, “Muahhhahahahhah.” Her eyes bulged as she mimicked Frankenstein.

  Snow crossed her arms. “Very funny.” She knew these women were feeling the same things she was even if they didn’t see the same things. Although she was certain both Aura in the closet and now Bella at the window had seen or felt something. So why wouldn’t they admit to it?

  Bella said, “I couldn’t resist. I ran into Aura on her way out. She told me about your little “episode.” She drew air quotes.

  Snow cast a hard look, whirled around, picked up the broom, and walked away from Bella.

  Bella followed Snow down the stairs. “Hey don’t run away pissed off.”

  Snow smirked. “Just run away, right? Another zinger, Bella.”

  “Hold on, I wasn’t going to say that. My jokes are much more advanced.”

  Snow hurried down the stairs. What was the point anyway? She knew these people didn’t like her, and she didn’t really care all that much for them. It was just that they shared this one horrible experience in common and weren’t people supposed to bond over things like that?

  “Can you slow down, please?”

  “Forget it, Bella.”

  They reached the end of the stairwell. Bella grabbed the neck of Snow White’s shirt and yanked her backward. She spun her around, shoved her down onto the last step and said, “You need to calm down.”

  “I’m perfectly calm.”

  Bella said, “You’re not going to last if you don’t learn to take a joke once in a while. Or a punch.”

  Snow frowned, touching her cheek. She hadn’t ever been struck before and she wasn’t convinced she could take a blow.

  Bella tapped Snow’s knee with her foot. “I was kidding about the punch. But just in case, stay away from Cindy when she’s hammered.” Bella thought for a moment, tapping her chin. “And Punzie, just in general.”

  Bella cracked a smile and Snow couldn’t help but match it. She stood and pulled out the key ring Aura had given her. She motioned over to the door she wasn’t able to unlock earlier. “None of the keys fit this one.”

  A slow smile spread across Bella’s face. “Well, I’ll be damned, Princess. You’ve got a bit of dark blood in you after all.” She parked her hands on her hips. “How in the hell did you pry those from that greedy bitch’s hands?”

  Snow twirled the key ring feeling a bit brazen. “I helped her with an infestation problem.”

  Bella clapped her hands. “Ha! You bribed her? I love it.” Her face got serious. “Bugs?”

  “Frog. Singular.”

  Bella shook her head. “Is that the one that’s been stalking Punzie around the house? She told me she was going to catch it and put it in Aura’s room. I just didn’t think she had the gonads to do it.”

  Snow shrugged. “I guess so.” She twirled the keys in her hand. “None of these unlock that door. Do you know what’s in there?”

  “Your guess is as good as mine. It’s always been locked. Some of them, like that closet we snuck into yesterday, are never locked. There’s no rhyme or reason around here.”

  Snow wondered if Aura really could break into anything. Maybe if she had the right motivation.

  Bella said, “You know it’s just junk in these rooms. Granny’s a flea market, garage sale, swap meet, auction house addict. To her it’s a safer form of gambling. She buys all this junk, tosses it into these dusty old rooms and forgets about it. You really are wasting your time. There’s no holy grail in this house.”

  But what about the clocks? Surely that collection, tucked away as it was, had to signify something. Didn’t it? Snow decided not to mention it to Bella. At least not until she had more time to figure this place out.

  Bella said, “Look it’s getting late and Granny will be coming home soon. Don’t let her catch you with those keys and especially not the cleaning supplies. Got it?”

  “Got it.”

  Bella nodded and started away.

  After a moment, Snow said, “Bella?”

  She turned. “Yes?”

  “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For being my friend.”

  Bella stared at Snow a few beats, a gloomy expression clouding her face. “We’re not friends, Princess. This isn’t a fairy tale.”

  Snow stiffened. Every time she thought she was making strides to fit in, she got sucker-punched. “What are we then?” she asked in a tight-lipped voice. She hoped she sounded mean. She wanted to be mean back, just once.

  Bella spread her arms wide and smiled. “Partners in crime, of course.”

  Snow flipped the keys in her hand, watching Bella saunter down the hall and wondered.

  Would she be able to commit another crime? If it meant finding out the truth?

  18

  Don't Piss Off the Pixie

  The only free time Tink had was a few hours on Saturday nights, and she used every bit of it to get closer to Doctor Jack Bean. Except this night. That kook, Aura, had ruined her plans by causing a scene and spoiling the good doctor’s meal. He went home early, a grim look on his face, before Tink could even say a proper hello.

  Stupid Aura with her stupid temper and her stupid anger management sessions where she gets to see the doctor three days a week, Tink thought as she drove back to the judge’s house. And for what? Because she broke the law, she got to spend time in the presence of that great man.

  Well Tink thought that was absurd. She had a good mind to break the law herself if she thought it wouldn’t get her fired. Then she could see more of the doctor too.

  Tink realized she’d been lost in her anger when she saw Aura’s strawberry blonde hair flapping out of the car window in front of her.

  She thought back to the meeting she had overheard between Robin Hood and the judge and an idea formed in her mind—an idea that ordinarily would never occur to a soul as sweet as Tink’s, but love and rage had blinded her.

  She pressed her foot more firmly on the gas pedal, barely making the green arrow for her left turn. There was Aura still ahead of her. Tink was close enough to follow, yet far enough away not to be spotted. She was pretty sure that’s how they did it in spy novels. Tink was a huge fan of John Rain books.

  What was it the judge had said to Robin? Something about keeping closer tabs on the girls at Granny’s? Upping the surveillance. He hadn’t seemed too pleased about that suggestion as she recalled. In fact, he seemed downright put out. But when one of these wretched women hurts a man as gallant as Jack Bean, well then she should be watched with a closer eye. Luckily, Tink’s eyes were as sharp as her ears.

  The car Aura was driving made another left and pulled into a quiet driveway on a dark street in front of a brick ranch home. Tink watched as Aura got out of the car and retrieved something from the back seat. It was a bag of food from Gretel’s. Part of Aura’s punishment was to volunteer for meals on wheels, so perhaps that was what she was doing now.

  Aura rang the bell and a gray haired woman answered. They spoke to each other briefly, the woman sticking her hand out of the door to motion for Aura to enter. Aura stepped inside and the door closed behind her.

  “I’ve got my eye on you, Aura Rose,” Tink said.

  Perhaps, if all went well and she was able to find that Aura had broken the law or violated probation, the judge might give Tink a raise.

  If that didn’t work, there was always plan B.

  Robin Hood rarely got angry, but when he did he drank milk straight from the bottle and ate a double cheesebur
ger with everything on it. He was a wild man tonight.

  He was already wolfing down his second double cheeseburger and had nearly finished the entire quart of milk, and it wasn’t even eight o’clock. Robin had earmarked both of these items to bring home to his bride. And he would have except that insufferable judge had sent her assistant, Tink, to do Robin’s job.

  This should have been an easy run. Make sure Aura was where she was supposed to be. She is. The end.

  But here he had a civilian running her own stakeout. Aura was taking longer than she should on her delivery, and there was no bathroom in sight. Any minute now, Robin would be forced to finish the milk and deposit it right back into the bottle.

  So much for date night with the wife. The greasy burger would have been a bad enough substitute for a romantic dinner, but at least it would have told Marion he had been thinking about her. Now what was he supposed to bring her? Certainly not the milk jug.

  Robin was contemplating what stores were open on his route home when a bright flash of light exploded from the house followed by a booming noise. Everything on the block fell into darkness. There wasn’t a street lamp, porch light, or night light lit on the entire street.

  “What the heck?”

  Robin tried to start his own car, to no avail. “Aw, damn, not again!” He slammed his fist on the steering wheel.

  There was a wave of movement to his right. He looked over and saw that Aura’s car was gone.

  Except it hadn’t made a sound. It had simply vanished.

  Tink’s car was parked in the same spot as when Robin had pulled up. She got out, checked under the hood, then threw her hands in the air in frustration.

  Robin was debating his next move when the streetlights flickered and Tink stood there staring at Robin like a deer caught in headlights.

  19

  Forbidden Fruit

  Snow wasn’t looking forward to Sunday night dinner. For one thing, it was clear that she had no friends in this house except for Cotton, the white mouse, and Peanut, the brown mouse, who seemed to have an uncanny knack for showing up just when she needed them. She fashioned them each a small bed from tissue and cotton balls and tucked them away inside the desk drawer where they slumbered softly throughout the night. There was Beast, of course, but he was much more drawn to Bella, so Snow benefited from his slobbery company mostly when Bella was out. She didn’t mind that, as Bella needed the softness that only an animal can bring, but it did get rather lonely.

  Hansel had been nothing but sweet to her, but Snow thought it was best not to tempt fate by breaking Granny’s rules. She didn’t want to be reprimanded by the court or the old woman, and she certainly didn’t want Hansel to lose his job over her.

  There was also the small matter of the walls whispering the word betrayal to her every so often. She never matched a face with the voice, and sometimes she felt that it wasn’t from an outside source at all, but that it came right from her own head. She didn’t know what it meant or who it was referring to, but she figured that keeping the rest of the housemates at elbow’s length wasn’t the worst idea.

  Maybe deep in the recesses of their minds they heard it too. Maybe that’s why everyone was so callous.

  Snow was unloading the groceries for tonight’s feast when Punzie sashayed into the kitchen wearing leggings, flip flops, and a roomy tee shirt with a crooked crown printed on the front and the words “I’m the Fairest” splashed across the back in bold pink letters.

  Behind her hopped a frog.

  Snow stared at the frog, whose nose was still a violent red where Aura had kicked it.

  Punzie said, “I’m starving, when’s dinner?” She poked her head through a couple of the bags and pulled out a vine of grapes.

  “When is it usually?” Snow asked. She began unloading the vegetables she had purchased at the farmer’s market for the salad.

  Punzie said, “I think seven. Sundays are my only day off, so I don’t pay too much attention to the clock.”

  Snow was confused. “But don’t you usually all cook together?”

  Punzie smirked. “Us cook? Are you serious?” Punzie washed the grapes in the sink and set them in the bowl. She offered one to the frog. It declined, catching a fly in mid-flight instead.

  “We usually order from Gretel’s and Hansel picks it up.” She winked and elbowed Snow. “What Granny doesn’t know won’t hurt her. All she cares about is that we’re all here for the meal anyway.”

  The frog made a ribbet sound and Snow said, “Will your green friend be joining us?” She put the tomatoes, cucumber, carrots, and lettuce in a large colander and set it in the sink.

  Punzie frowned. “This thing won’t leave me alone, but I feel kind of sorry for it.”

  Snow perked up at this. “Why?” She turned the water on and sprayed down the vegetables.

  The dancer shrugged. “I don’t know. But I get the feeling he lost his mate or something.”

  Snow shut the water off and turned to look at the frog. Both women stood side by side trying to decipher the emotional needs of a slick-backed amphibian.

  Punzie said, “You see how he keeps staring at my boobs? I think he’s horny.”

  “I thought that was toads.”

  Punzie shifted her gaze to Snow. “Well slap my ass, the Princess just told a dirty joke.”

  Snow rolled her eyes and went back to shaking the excess water out of her produce.

  Punzie said, “Well, call me when dinner’s ready. Bob and I are going down to the pond to pick up chicks.”

  Snow spun toward the back door that Punzie was about to walk through, the frog close at her heels. “You’re not going to help me?”

  Punzie had her hand on the screen door. She turned back to Snow. “Why do you need my help? I thought you loved this shit.”

  Snow looked at the bags of groceries spread across the kitchen. She hadn’t cooked for a crowd in, in, well she couldn’t remember when the last time was, but she was sure she had a little help. “Well, yes, but, I mean—”

  “Great! Catch ya later. Come on, Bob.”

  Punzie slapped the screen door open and Bob hopped outside.

  “Catch ya later,” Snow mimicked Punzie’s high pitch and added a snotty twang to it. She made a face at the door.

  “I guess the answer is yes.”

  Snow jumped at the sound of the voice and turned to see Hansel’s rugged face gazing at her. He was wearing a crisp white shirt that highlighted his tan, dark blue jeans, and a high voltage smile. His hair was slightly damp as if he’d recently showered. He smelled like the forest on an autumn morning. It reminded Snow of home, and she wanted to crawl between his arms and get lost there.

  “The answer to what?”

  Hansel gave her head a playful tap. “You do talk to yourself a lot.”

  Snow smoothed a stray black hair away from her face and patted down her apron. “Oh that. Well, I suppose that’s true mostly because no one else talks to me around here unless they want something or they want something to bitch about or, you know, they need a punching bag.”

  The groceries weren’t going to unpack themselves, Snow told herself. She also chastised herself for looking like a fool every time this man was around. Good grief, why did he always have to sneak up on her like that?

  Hansel tilted his head. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.” She yanked the potatoes from the bag and dropped them on the kitchen table.

  “You sure?” Hansel asked. “Because you don’t seem fine.”

  Snow could feel a well bubbling up inside her, but the last thing she wanted was for Hansel—or anyone in this house for that matter—to see her shed a single tear.

  She gritted her teeth, still unloading the groceries, and carefully avoided Hansel’s golden eyes. “What do you want, Hansel?”

  He didn’t answer her for a few seconds and Snow could feel him staring at her. Likely sizing up what size straight jacket might suit her best. “I’m here to take your dinner order. It’s Sun
day.”

  “Yes, well, I’m cooking. There will be no take-out this evening, thank you.”

  She brushed past him to put the sugar, vanilla, and flour on the counter. She was going to make a pie for dessert.

  “Oh, okay then.” Hansel seemed nailed to his spot on the floor. He stood there, curling his truck keys around his fingers.

  All the food was out of the bags, scattered across every hard surface of the kitchen and Snow scanned the room calculating the ingredients she needed in her mind. Peas, carrots, onion, garlic, yams, bread, beef, thyme, marjoram—

  But, wait a minute, where was the fruit? Hadn’t she purchased peaches at the market?

  No peaches meant no pie. No pie meant Snow had failed on her first task for Granny. And the girls would mock her, because she knew she’d feel the need to explain herself and she’d end up babbling all about it and probably blubbering. It was all her fault. Dinner was ruined. She felt herself growing dizzy, faint.

  Stop it, Snow. Pull yourself together.

  It was an absurd train of thought, she knew, but she couldn’t disembark. It felt like the walls were closing in on her, like this was the last straw. And in that moment, over a forgotten fruit, Snow began sobbing into the skirt of her apron like a three year old child. It was humiliating.

  She felt Hansel’s strong arms around her. “Hey, don’t cry. What’s wrong?”

  She shook her head.

  “You never know, maybe I can fix it.”

  “No you can’t.”

  “I can’t if you don’t tell me.”

  Hansel pulled Snow closer to his chest and stroked her hair. His hand was warm, comforting. It felt like what had been missing in her life even before she came to Granny’s.

  Should she tell him that strange things had been happening to her? Things that made her question her very identity? Should she tell him that she felt trapped in this amusement park of a house and that she was afraid to go to sleep at night because a man with an ax kept showing up in her dreams? Should she tell him she was desperate for someone to talk to, that she was lonely, and that she longed for one true friend, one true love?