Locket full of Secrets

by Dana Burkey

  I followed him, my teacup still in my hand. Standing in the doorway, I watched as he pulled back the sheets and blanket on one side of the bed, and just the blanket on the other. He was making a natural barrier for us so sleeping next to each other would not be the big ordeal I had made it out to be with my nonstop talking moments before.

  After changing into the pajamas Olena had provided as part of my new wardrobe, I brushed my teeth twice before climbing into bed. Steven was already lying down, under just the blanket. I wiggled under the blanket and sheet, and laid so I was facing Steven. We were at least two feet away from each other on the bed, our silence making the space feeling even bigger.

  “Comfortable over there?” Steven finally asked with a smile.

  He was in the center of the bed, clearly handling this much better than I was. It was not a big deal, lying next to him, but this was the first time for something like this for me. Sleeping in a car or plane was one thing, but together in this bed was a whole new level for me.

  “I promise I won’t bite,” Steven tried again, reaching out a hand and resting it on my hip.

  With a smile I scooted closer, feeling a little less embarrassed. Steven and I were just going to go to sleep tonight, so I did not need to get too worked up. Bigger steps in our relationship could be faced once we were back at school. For now, this was just about both of us having a place to sleep comfortably.

  I reminded myself of this fact as I got close enough to feel the heat off of Steven’s body. His hand was still on my hip and I rested one hand on his upper arm, the other under my head on the pillow. Steven smiled and leaned in to give my head a light kiss before looking me in the eye.

  “Have I told you yet how proud of you I am?” Steven asked.

  “What do you mean?” I asked in return.

  “Well, it’s been a long few days,” he explained. “We’ve been shot at, you’ve been injured, and we had to get on a plane and fly halfway around the world. Not to mention the fact that you just found out your best friend had a whole heap of secrets she was keeping from you. And now tomorrow she wants you to go into a radioactive wasteland to help her bring down some bad guys.”

  “But why would that make you proud?” I asked again. “I’ve cried, passed out, bled a lot, and kind of broke down a few times. I feel like I’ve been a big baby everyone else needs to take care of.”

  “You reacted how most people would,” Steven tried again. “You had no warning anything was about to happen, and all you have been through in the last few days would be hard on anyone.”

  “Not on you,” I commented, remembering how calm Steven was overall at learning the plan for tomorrow.

  “I’m a history major, Claire,” he explained with a slight shrug. “This is the first time I have heard someone talk about it first hand, but I have heard the stories of Chernobyl before. I really love European history so for me it was just hearing about the event again, only from someone I know now. And, I’ve never known another side of Olena like you have. This is the only Olena I’ve met.”

  I nodded, thinking about his words. It was true. Steven was better equipped for things like this. He knew the backstory of Chernobyl from his classes at school and did not have the emotional connection with Olena that I did. This was much more personal for me, causing me to get much more emotional at the drop of a hat.

  “Tomorrow, I don’t want to slow her down,” I whispered, as if saying it quietly enough would keep it from coming true.

  “How would you slow her down?” Steven asked, his thumb rubbing circles on my hip bone.

  “If I get scared, or hurt again,” I explained, his touch sending chills through my body.

  “I’ll take care of you, sunshine,” he smiled. “I promise.”

  Steven leaned in closer, causing all my worries for the next day to disappear as our lips met. Something about lying in the same bed made the electricity between us even more explosive than usual. I found myself tangled in his arms, pushing my body closer until I was lying on top of him, the sheet between us all but forgotten. Our kisses were much more passionate than ever before, fueled by all of the emotions that had been brought up since we started our journey to Kiev.

  As Steven’s hand wove through my hair, pressing our mouths even closer together, the sound of Olena’s door opening and closing suddenly reached my ears. Obviously hearing the sound as well, Steven sat up as I rolled back to my side of the bed. We sat breathing deeply but quietly as we listened to Olena’s footsteps walking from her room to the mini bar and back. As her door closed once again I let out a sigh before lying back down and covering my face with my hands. My heart was still hammering in my chest and my lips were still tingling from the pressure of Stevens’s mouth on mine.

  “I’m going to get us some water,” Steven muttered before standing up and walking out of the room. I tried to control my breathing while he was gone, the covers suddenly too hot to cover my body. Pushing them to my feet, I sat up and waited for Steven to return.

  When Steven walked back into the room the room a few minutes later it was clear he had been standing at an open window. His now dry hair was blown back in messy tufts, his face flushed with cold. Handing me a bottle of water, he got back under the covers before turning to speak to me.

  “Maybe we should try to get some sleep,” he said, his eyes still twinkling with mischief.

  I nodded, knowing sleep was a better idea than getting carried away with Olena in the next room. Finishing as much of my water as I could I finally got under the covers and inched a little closer to Steven. When he opened his arms to me I once again scooted forward, this time resting my head on his chest so I would not be distracted by his lips.

  Reaching over, Steven turned off the light beside the bed, throwing our room into darkness. I continued to slow my breathing, taking in Steven’s scent with each inhale. I could feel his heart still beating as fast as mine, both us of still fired up from our moment.

  “So what should we do once we get home?” Steven asked as his hand traced lazy patterns on my back.

  “Something really relaxing,” I smiled. “Maybe a nice movie marathon, or Saturday cartoons in our pajamas.”

  “We’ll just have a nap party,” Steven suggested, taking my relaxing idea even further. “We can drink hot cocoa then make a blanket fort and sleep all weekend.”

  “Yes,” I added with a laugh. “We can cover the floor in pillows and put black fabric over the windows so we can sleep through the whole day without a problem.”

  “Perfect,” he laughed as well. “I can’t wait.”

  My laugh was broken up with a yawn, my body finally starting to settle down. Steven lifted his head and planted a kiss on my forehead before pulling the covers up further, warmth fully surrounding me.

  “Goodnight sunshine,” Steven whispered into my ear, giving my head a final kiss before leaning back on his pillow.

  “Night,” I mumbled with another yawn, a smile still playing on my lips as I closed my eyes.

  Bolting up in bed, my eyes struggled to adjust to the darkness as my lungs worked overtime to get my breathing under control. My clothing stuck to my skin, every inch covered in a cold sweat. As I remembered where I was, my heart began finally to slow as my breathing returned to normal. Swinging my legs over the side of the bed I entered the bathroom and closed the door before turning on the light.

  Looking in the mirror I was taken aback by my reflection. My skin was flushed and covered in a sheen of sweat. My hair was matted down, strands sticking to my forehead and cheeks. The thing that truly gave me pause, however, was my eyes. They were red rimmed and puffy. Although I knew some of it was from crying before bed, the sight confirmed my suspicion; I had been crying in my sleep.

  Although to call it sleep was an overstatement. After falling asleep in Steven’s arms, my dreams quickly turned to nightmares. Each one was the same, over and over; we made it to Chernobyl, but before we could get to Uri’s apartment the other reactors exploded, bathing us
in radiation. Over and over again I watched as Steven, Olena, and myself died coughing up blood or melting from the high levels of radiation. I knew this was not how radiation worked, but my dreams had replayed the Hollywood inspired scene over and over.

  After washing my face off and taking a minute to brush my hair I turned out the light and returned to our bed. As I sat down, however, I finally realized that Steven was no longer there. Reaching over, I felt his side of the mattress was cold. He must have gotten up a while ago. Listening closely, I could make out talking in the sitting room. It sounded like two people talking, although I could not make out the words. Walking slowly to the door I could hear that the language was Ukrainian, explaining why I could not understand what was being said. As I opened the door a crack the talking stopped suddenly.

  “Steven?” I whispered, my voice sounding loud in the now quiet room.

  “Claire, what’s wrong?” his deep voiced asked in reply as he moved towards me.

  “I had a nightmare and woke up,” I said weakly, images from my dreams popping into my mind again. “Were you talking to someone?”

  “The TV was on so I got up to turn it off,” Steven replied as he reached me and wrapped his arms around me. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you woke up.”

  “It’s okay,” I shrugged, holding onto him tightly. “You’re here now.”

  “Let’s go back to bed,” he whispered before leading me back to the bed, closing the door behind us.

  “What was your nightmare about?” he asked once we were again snuggled under the covers.

  “We died,” I admitted, getting choked up with emotions suddenly. “There was another explosion and the radiation killed us.”

  “That’s not going to happen,” Steven assured me. “The reactors in Chernobyl are safe. They don’t do much of anything but sit there now.”

  I nodded, not trusting my voice to work. His words helped to calm me some, but at the same time I was still worried about what the morning would bring. Steven rubbed my back, the slow circles helping me to begin to fall back to sleep. Willing the nightmares not to return, I allowed my heavy eyelids to close for the second time.

  By some miracle, the rest of the night passed by without nightmares. Opening my eyes slowly, I immediately could not help but smile at Steven, who was still sleeping next to me. Despite being fully awake, I curled back up next to him, not wanting this time to end. Sadly, it was only a few minutes before the sounds of the hotel staff unloading our breakfast had Steven waking up as well.

  “How did you sleep?” he asked, stretching with a yawn.

  “Better after the first try,” I smiled, reaching up to plant a kiss on his lips. It was shocking how comfortable I was around Steven thanks to all we had been through lately. There I was kissing him, not even caring that I more than likely looked like a mess from just waking up and no doubt had morning breath.

  “Is breakfast here?” Steven asked, while still holding onto me.

  “I think so,” I nodded, before sitting up and stretching.

  The smells of bacon and coffee suddenly filled the air. The smell alone had my mouth watering and my stomach growling. Apparently getting a good night’s sleep in a real bed worked up an appetite. Climbing out of the bed I stretched before walking to the door, ready for some coffee.

  After the amazing dinner we had the night before, I should have been less shocked by the feast laid out on the dining room table. Instead, I stood and gaped at the piles of eggs, waffles, muffins, bacon, fresh fruit, and pastries. This hotel was doing a good job of making up for some of the trauma of our trip. Grabbing a cup of coffee, I sat down and began taking sips of the hot liquid while deciding what else to enjoy.

  “Let’s come back here some time when we don’t have crazy gunmen looking for us,” Steven grinned as he piled a plate with food before sitting down beside me.

  “Yes, please!” I agreed easily. Thinking back to the night before I felt my cheeks flush as I remembered the heated moment between Steven and myself. Hoping he did not see my blush, I busied myself with getting a plate of fruit and pastries.

  “Oh good, you two are up,” Olena commented, entering the room fully dressed and ready to go. Unsure of the time I glanced at the clock on the wall and saw it was still just before 7am.

  “Want some coffee?” I asked as I filled my own cup that was already empty.

  “When I get back,” she nodded. “I have some things I need to take care of before we leave.”

  Before Steven or I could even say goodbye, Olena was out the door. I stood shocked for a moment, but it quickly faded. Today could not be an easy day for Olena. Here she was, about to go see her childhood home. She was going to see the place that led to her entire family getting killed. The fact that she was even brave enough to make it this far was amazing to me, so I did my best to just take her quick exit with a little understanding.

  The rest of our meal passed in comfortable silence. As much as I wanted to talk to Steven about how nervous I was, I realized it was time for me to step up and stop being the weak link in everything. Today was going to be hard on everyone, not just me. So, even though I knew it was going to be hard, I promised myself I would not complain today. Olena was not the only one who could be strong.

  “We should probably get dressed,” Steven yawned as he finally finished his plate of food.

  “Yeah,” I nodded, refilling my coffee cup yet again. Despite the good night’s sleep, I still felt tired from everything we had been through.

  As Steven headed into our room I took a minute to rest my head on the table and just breathe for a little. The wood was cool on my forehead, and was strangely comforting. It struck me then that I was sitting alone in a quiet room for the first time in a while. With my eyes closed I could image I was in my dorm, or even at my parents’ house. The sounds outside our hotel windows could be sounds in Ohio or Michigan just as easily as sounds in Kiev. Lifting my head at the sound of Steven entering the room, I saw the look of concern on his face.

  “I’m okay,” I smiled before he could even ask. “Just trying to get myself ready for everything we have to do today.”

  “Come here,” he smiled, pulling me gently to my feet before wrapping his arms around my waist. “Everything is going to be fine today. I won’t let anything happen to you, no matter what.”

  Looking into Steven’s eyes I felt my heartbeat speeding up. After last night my body was beginning to respond more and more to his touch. Standing there next to the breakfast table I found myself wishing we were back in Michigan, alone in my dorm room, with no danger ahead. Sadly, I knew it would be a little while until that could occur. But, with a grin, I leaned up to press my lips to his. His response was immediate, so much of the passion from the night before returning instantly. It was clear that all the danger we were in on this trip was making us grow much closer.

  Knowing it was only a matter of time before Olena returned I ended our moment before we got too steamy. Pulling away slowly I rested my head on Steven’s chest with my eyes closed while I caught my breath. His chest beat rapidly under my cheek, matching my own racing pulse.

  “I should go change now,” I commented, still not moving from his embrace.

  “Mmmm hmmm,” he agreed, his arms still tight around my body.

  Finally I took a step back to break the moment. I wanted so badly to just stay in his arms all day, but Olena needed us today more than ever. Planting a final kiss on his lips I turned and headed to our room to get dressed. Glancing at the bed while I slipped off my pajamas I found myself blushing at how much things had progressed with Steven. Pulling on my boots, I decided once we finished helping Olena today I would finally tell Steven what I had felt for quite some time: I was falling in love with him.

  When Olena arrived from her errands, we had just enough time to grab our bags and go. The nervous look on Olena’s face from earlier in the day was gone, replaced by a determined one that I was much more used to seeing. It was clear that whatever she had
done first thing in the morning helped her to get everything focused and on track for the day we were about to face.

  Slipping my hand into Steven’s on the elevator ride to the lobby, I used my free hand to check out the camera Olena had given me. She told me to get used to using it, since it would help me look more like a tourist. Thankfully, it was similar to one my dad often took on vacation. The only difference, I soon learned, was that it was empty. No matter how many pictures I attempted to take, nothing would be printed later. It was clear that I would be in charge of holding the film canister we got from Uri’s house, and that thought made me both nervous and proud. It was a big responsibility, but Olena would not have trusted me with the job if she did not think I could handle it.

  The walk to the travel agency was over sooner than expected, our pace much faster than the day before. We arrived just in time to load into the half-full bus and listen to a quick safety announcement. We would be allowed to take photos on this trip, and would be searched on our way in and out of the exclusion zone surrounding Pripyat to make sure we did not take anything that we did not bring with us. The tour guide also ensured us that we would be there long enough to see all the major attractions in Chernobyl and the surrounding area without being exposed to high levels of radiation. That was a comfort to know, but still left me feeling uneasy. There were likely worse things waiting for us than radiation.

  “Do we really get to go into the power plant?” I asked, hoping my voice did not sound as shaky as I felt.

  “Not in it, but right by it,” Olena nodded, her voice casual and excited. “I cannot believe how much of the area we get to see.”

  It took me a second to realize Olena was playing up the “college backpack trip” angle. She had been chatting with people around us as we loaded up earlier, and had read the information pamphlets at least 5 times now.

  “I vote we do some heavy drinking tonight to kill any radiation we might pick up,” Steven suggested, feeding off of Olena’s casual manner.