Spotlight

by Melody Carlson

  Mollie simply laughs. “And that’s called publicity.”

  “If I hear that word again—I think I’ll scream.”

  “It’s what sells things like reality TV shows, Erin. Surely you know that by now.”

  “I know it,” I seethe. “I just don’t like it.”

  “Then you are in the wrong business.”

  I consider this. “Yeah, you’re right. I probably am.”

  “Okay … sorry not to sound more sympathetic,” she says. “But I’m sitting here feeling the world is passing me by and you’re complaining about publicity. Man, I’d love to have your problems, Erin.”

  “Sorry.” I shake my head and wonder why I’m apologizing to her.

  “Hey, in happier news, my parents got home last night and couldn’t believe what you did to the basement.”

  “They were okay with it?”

  “Yeah. They were almost too okay with it. Suddenly my mom was rethinking her plan to take over my old bedroom. Like she might rather set up her writing studio in the basement now.”

  “No way. That’s your basement.”

  Mollie laughs, but I can hear a trace of sadness mixed in. “Yeah, that’s what I told them. It’s my basement … for now anyway.”

  We talk awhile longer and I begin to feel guilty for complaining about Paige and her recent publicity stunts. Really, it’s a small thing compared to what Mollie is dealing with right now. After we hang up, I think about Tony’s role in all this, and how he was so into Mollie—until she got pregnant, that is. Now he’s pulled this amazing and mysterious disappearing act. I’d almost like to hunt him down and give him a piece of my mind, not that he would listen. In fact, I’m starting to suspect that no one wants to listen to any of my strong opinions.

  Chapter

  8

  “So are you girls okay with these?” Marty Stuart asks as he hands us the revised contracts that he’s been negotiating with Helen Hudson.

  “I am,” I tell him as I pick up a pen and get ready to sign.

  “I’m not.” Paige pushes her contract back across his desk.

  “Huh?” I study her expression. “What’s wrong? You want more money?” I actually thought the pay increase was pretty generous.

  “No, it’s not about the money.”

  “What is it then?” Marty looks perplexed too.

  “I don’t like the ‘Sibling Rivalry’ idea. I think it will only slow down the show and bore the viewers. Besides that, I want creative sign-off on the show. And I want the assurance that I will continue as the host—the only host. And I want it in writing.”

  Too stunned to respond, I just stare at my sister, curious as to whether I can actually see her head increasing in size. What is going on with her? And what’s up with this prima donna act? She can’t be serious.

  Marty looks slightly nervous. “The only host?”

  “Yes. I don’t want to share that spot with anyone.”

  “Not even Erin?” He glances back and forth between us.

  “I’m happy to see Erin moving beyond Camera Girl in the show,” she says carefully. “I’m fine with that. But I do not want the ‘Sibling Rivalry’ segment and I do not want to share my host position with anyone. Not even my sister.” She turns and smiles sweetly at me. “Surely you understand that, don’t you?”

  I nod slowly, trying to think of a way out of this mess. “I do … understand.” And this is true; in a strange and slightly twisted way I do understand. And in a way, I’m not completely blindsided by this either. Hurt, yes; surprised, not so much. I mean, this is Paige. “But what about Helen?” I ask carefully.

  “Oh, I think Helen will understand too.”

  “Meaning what?” Now I realize my sister is full of herself, but I can’t believe she thinks she can overstep Helen. I mean, how can she be so nonchalant? She’s about to tell Helen that she plans to take over the show, and it’s like she honestly thinks Helen is going to just say “no problem.”

  “Don’t worry, Erin. Helen will get this.”

  “But what if she doesn’t? What happens then?”

  Paige presses her lips together.

  “Erin poses a good question,” Marty tells Paige. “What if Helen doesn’t agree?”

  Paige shrugs. “In that case, maybe I’ll just walk.”

  “Walk?” I stare at Paige, wondering who this girl is and what she’s done with my sister. “You must be kidding. You love this show.”

  She sighs. “I used to love the show.”

  “So what are you saying then?” Marty asks. “You’re done with it? After a few months?”

  “I’m simply saying On the Runway isn’t the only show in town.”

  “Seriously? You think you can get another show as good as this?” I shake my head doubtfully.

  “Maybe even better.”

  Marty grabs a pencil and starts jotting on a notepad. “So you’re sure this is what you want, Paige? You really want to make a demand like this to Helen?”

  “I do.”

  “Paige?” I want to shake her. Like wake up—why is she nuking her show and her career like this? At the same time, I think why not let her—get it over with. It’s bound to happen; the sooner the better.

  “What, Erin?” She looks evenly at me.

  “What if you do this and it blows up in your face? Are you seriously going to go looking for another show after less than six months on this one?”

  “Erin has a point.” Marty continues writing. “You haven’t even done a full season on your show. The industry won’t take that sort of thing lightly.”

  Paige holds her head high. “I’m not worried.”

  “How can you not be worried?” I ask. “I’m worried and this show isn’t as big a deal to me as I know it is to you. How can you be so calm about this?”

  “Because I know I will land on my feet.”

  A little light goes on in my brain. “So … who have you been talking to?”

  “No one.” But her eyes betray her. I can tell she’s been talking to someone. And I have a pretty good idea who.

  “Benjamin Kross.” I pound my fist on the desk. “What’s he been telling you, Paige? That you’re a big star now? That you can get more money somewhere else? That you should pull the prima donna act and make your demands, stomp your designer shoe and get your way?”

  She shrugs.

  “Is Benjamin offering you something specific?” Marty persists. “A new reality show perhaps?”

  “Let’s say this … I have my opportunities.”

  “So, just for clarification’s sake,” I say, “if Helen doesn’t agree … that means you really plan to walk away from the show? Is that right?”

  “I can’t predict the future, Erin. I don’t know which way this will go. I honestly don’t expect Helen to balk at this.”

  “But you would walk if she did? You would, wouldn’t you?” I can’t believe she’s so cool about this.

  “Probably.”

  I’m so frustrated I feel close to tears. “Do you know how selfish that is, Paige?”

  “Selfish to look after my own future?” She looks honestly confused, like the idea of selfishness never even occurred to her. “If I don’t take care of my career, who will? Don’t forget that I’m the one who wanted to do this in the first place. You know that you’ve been reluctant from the get-go, Erin.”

  “I may have been reluctant, but I did give up film school to do this show with you, Paige! I put my life on hold and dropped everything just to—”

  “And look at the experience you’ve gotten from it!” she shouts back. “Do you honestly think you’d have learned this much in school?”

  “Time out!” Marty says loudly. “Both of you take a big deep breath and chill for a minute. Okay?”

  His office grows quiet and all I hear is the scratching of his pencil on paper as he continues to write notes. Then he punches his phone and calls in his assistant, tapping his pencil on the desk as he waits for her to come. When she arrives, h
e hands her Paige’s contract along with his notes, and asks her to make the revisions and new copies. After she leaves he folds his hands on the desk in front of him and shakes his head. “I can’t say that I approve of this decision, Paige, but I do understand. And as your agent, I am willing to do my best to get Helen Hudson to agree to this.”

  “Thank you.” Paige reaches for her bag.

  Marty looks directly at me now. “It would probably help if you agreed to it as well, Erin.”

  “In writing?”

  He smiles. “I mean more of in spirit …”

  I shrug. It’s weird, but I think I’m relieved. Maybe this crazy ride is about to end. Maybe I can part ways with Paige without feeling guilty now. Maybe I can have my life back. And yet it hurts. “I guess I can agree. I mean, it’s not like I have much of a choice.” I hold up my contract. “Do you still want me to sign this?”

  “If you’re still okay with it. Paige’s revisions don’t really impact your contract.”

  “Well, other than the fact that it might make my contract worthless.”

  “I’m not doing this to hurt you,” Paige says in a flat tone.

  “Yeah … right.” I don’t even look at her as I sign my name and the date.

  “But you’re still mad at me, aren’t you?”

  I take in another deep breath, trying to hold back tears as I open another copy, looking for the right line to sign on. I’m not even sure why this hurts so much. Other than the fact it feels like my sister just knifed me in the back. But, really, I should be relieved. Maybe this will end this insane sister act once and for all. Because, honestly, I don’t think I can take anymore of this. With a tightened jaw and imagining that I am signing divorce papers—to divorce my sister—I sign the last copy and slide it all back over to Marty.

  “If my work here is done, I’d like to go,” I tell him as I stand. Thankfully, Paige and I took separate cars here today. I’m ready to make a quick exit.

  He nods. “Thanks, Erin.”

  “Thank you,” I say with a lump in my throat.

  With a sad expression, Marty stands and reaches out to shake my hand. For some reason it feels like a farewell gesture. Like he’s telling me this is it—time to kiss On the Runway adios. Then, without saying a word to my sister, I leave.

  I get in my Jeep and just sit there. Really, I don’t know why I’m taking this so hard. Paige is right … the show was never my dream in the first place. I’ve been dragging my heels since day one. And, while it hurts a little to see everything just vanish, that’s not the most disturbing part of this.

  The hardest thing is feeling like my own sister has dismissed me. Like she’s been using me all along and now she’s done and ready to move on … like see ya later, little sister.

  I remember other times like this. Not as hurtful perhaps, but painfully similar. Paige always had a hard time getting and maintaining friends. Of course, I have my own suspicions as to why this happens. I still recall a number of times when Paige, between friends, would solicit me as her “little buddy.” I’d usually try to accommodate her. Of course, this usually meant getting stuck in some inane activity like playing Barbies or dress-up, or sneaking into Mom’s makeup and taking the blame once we were found out.

  What I remember today is how Paige and I would be in the middle of some crazy Paige-directed activity and I’d be trying to “cooperate” (which meant doing things her way), and out of the blue one of her friends would call and invite her to do something. And—just like that—Paige would dump me like last year’s bell bottoms.

  I feel just as horrible now. Since I don’t want to go home, because Paige will probably end up there too, I drive over to Mollie’s. But she’s at a doctor’s appointment.

  “She should be back in about half an hour,” Mrs. Tyson tells me. “At least she better be back since she borrowed my car and I have a meeting to go to at two.”

  “Oh.” I step back. “Okay.”

  “But you can wait for her if you like.”

  Normally I wouldn’t care to do this, but right now I’d like someplace to just lie low. “Okay,” I agree. “I guess I’ll do that.”

  “I’m sure you can find the way to her new room,” Mrs. Tyson says in a way that’s hard to decipher.

  “Right.” I glance at her. “Was the makeover okay?”

  “Oh, sure.” She folds her arms across her front. “We’d been encouraging her to move down there. And it looks very nice. But …”

  “But?” I pause and look directly at her.

  “But Mollie’s father and I were hoping she’d fix up the room herself, Erin. We didn’t want anyone to help her.”

  “You didn’t want anyone to help her?”

  She shakes her head.

  “Why not?”

  “Well, as her father says, she got herself into this mess and she should have to get herself out of it.”

  I frown at her and it takes all my self-control not to say something totally regrettable. I guess I should’ve known better. Mollie warned me that her dad was not taking her pregnancy well. It seems clear he has influenced her mom now too. “I’m sorry if helping Mollie offended you,” I say in a stiff voice. “But it seemed like she needed some help.”

  Mrs. Tyson makes a look like duh, but says nothing.

  “I know you guys are Christians.” I push this a bit further. “And Jesus tells us to treat others how we want to be treated … so I guess that’s what I was trying to do.”

  “Yes. I suppose that makes sense … to you.”

  “But not to you?”

  “You know I love Mollie, Erin.” She frowns. “But I have to agree with her father on this. If Mollie doesn’t step up and own her problems—in this case a child—well, then she’ll never grow up … will she?”

  “I think she’s growing up.”

  She chuckles. “Well, I suppose we’re both just looking at Mollie from two different places now, aren’t we?”

  “I guess so.” I can’t help but get the implication here that I, like Mollie, am young and have a lot to learn still. And maybe it’s true. But maybe parents forget that it takes time to get this stuff. Maybe they don’t remember how things were when they were younger. Or maybe growing up just came easier to them.

  “But I’m glad that Mollie has some good mature friends like you,” Mrs. Tyson says as I open the door to the stairway.

  I force a smile. “Oh, I’m not sure that I’m all that mature,” I say lightly. “Just a few minutes ago I wanted to take a swing at my sister. That’s not terribly grown up.”

  She looks slightly horrified. “You wanted to hit that beautiful sister of yours?”

  I nod. “Yeah … actually I did.”

  “Oh, Erin. She’s been so good to let you be on her TV show. I would think you’d be more grateful.”

  “I guess we’re both just looking at Paige from two different places,” I say to her.

  She frowns and then smiles in a slightly condescending way. “Well, I’m sure you and Paige will work it out.”

  “Yes. I’m sure we will.” Then I go downstairs, pick up one of the pillows that Mollie and I re-covered a few days ago, and soundly punch it.

  When Mollie gets home, we commiserate over our problems together. I can tell it’s a consolation to Mollie to hear that all is not smooth sailing with Paige and the show. But she has the sense not to say that.

  “You know Paige will come around,” Mollie says with confidence. “If Helen doesn’t agree to her demands, Paige will cave. She loves that show, Erin. She’s not about to let it go. You know that old saying, ‘A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.’”

  “But what if Paige’s other birds aren’t in the bush?” I protest. “What if she’s got one bird in the right hand and two in the left?”

  Mollie laughs. “I guess that wouldn’t surprise me.”

  “I’ll bet Benjamin has something brewing,” I speculate. “Something he wants Paige to be involved in so that it will help his ratings.”
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  Mollie opens her laptop. “How about if I check out the gossip sites and see if I can find something?”

  I sink down onto her re-covered sofa and sigh. “I’m not sure I even want to know. Or that I even care.”

  “Don’t forget that knowledge is power, Erin. You shouldn’t keep your head in the sand as much as you do.”

  “Really, I should be happy that this crazy ride is over,” I say, mostly to myself since Mollie seems absorbed by the computer now. “I mean, now I can go back to school.” I shake my head. “Although it’ll be like starting over again. Everyone else will be ahead of me now.”

  “Hey, here’s something about Benjamin Kross talking to someone at Bravo.”

  “Bravo? What’s that?”

  “Man, Erin, you really do live under a rock, don’t you?”

  “Okay … I remember now. It’s the high-end reality TV channel.”

  “Something like that.”

  “So what does it say specifically?”

  “Not much. There’s also something about his movie deal … like it’s still a possibility. Especially after last week’s episode of Malibu Beach. Did you see that?”

  I groan. “No, thanks, I’m not really into that.”

  “Well, it was actually pretty good. I mean it seemed genuine and heartfelt. Benjamin even cried.”

  “Good for Benjamin.”

  Mollie looks up from her computer now. “Sometimes it sounds like you hate him, Erin.”

  I press my lips together and try to examine my feelings.

  “Do you hate him?”

  “I don’t know exactly. I hope that I don’t hate him. I mean, it’s wrong to hate anyone, no matter how twisted they are.”

  “Yeah.” She nods soberly. “And, trust me, I know how that feels whenever I think about Tony.”

  I consider this. “That has to be a lot harder,” I admit. “It’s so much more personal. When I think about you and Tony, I even feel like I hate him.”

  “You need to get over this, Erin. Hate isn’t good for you.”

  I smile at the irony. “Seems like I was just telling you that.”