by Sj Hooks
* * *
An hour later I left for the university. My heart was light and I was so happy that I had to resist the urge to skip to my car. I turned, looked up at my kitchen window, and smiled when I saw Julia. She waved and blew me a kiss. I wanted nothing more than to run back, take her in my arms, and forget about the outside world. But somehow I managed to do the responsible thing and drove to work.
Today was the last day of my old life in which Julia and I had to sneak around, and soon I would be able to show everyone that I was the luckiest man on the face of the planet. The thought that she would be there when I came home sent a thrill through me. I’d cook us a nice dinner, we’d spend the night together, and I’d get to fall asleep with her in my arms. It was everything I had ever wanted.
Strolling through the crowded campus, I reached the Literature and Languages building, feeling excited about the last class of the semester. After today, I only had exams and papers to grade, which left me with lots of free time to be with Julia. As I passed a familiar figure, I did something unusual for me—I initiated contact.
“Dean Michaels,” I said, giving him a friendly nod.
“Oh, hello,” he answered.
There wasn’t a trace of recognition on his face, which wasn’t surprising. Brian hadn’t been exaggerating when he’d said I didn’t socialize much.
“Worthington,” I supplied. “I teach American lit.”
“Right, of course.”
I wasn’t entirely sure he remembered who I was, but I didn’t mind. Mostly, I had said hello to him because I was curious about him—and his wife, who Brian had revealed had been a student of his when they got together.
“I just wanted to say hello before we all clear out of here for the summer,” I said.
He smiled. “Well, I’m certainly looking forward to that!”
“Big plans then?”
“My wife and I are headed to New York,” he explained. “Our last big city holiday for a good while, I’d wager.”
“Oh?”
“We’re expecting,” he said proudly.
“Congratulations. That’s wonderful.”
“Thank you. I never thought it would happen. I’m probably too old, but here goes nothing,” he joked.
“And your wife is happy, too, I presume?” I asked.
His smile widened. “Thrilled. We couldn’t be happier.”
“Well, be sure to offer her my congratulations,” I said, glancing at my watch.
“Back to the salt mines, eh?”
“Afraid so. Have a good summer, sir.”
“You, too.”
I walked on with an even bigger smile on my face, hoping I had caught a glimpse of my future.
* * *
As I approached my classroom, I noticed Brian lingering in the hallway outside. The moment he saw me, he broke into a grin.
“Professor Worthington,” he greeted me, side-eyeing a few of my students who were passing on their way to my class.
“Professor Barrie.”
The moment we were alone, he dropped the formalities.
“You look a lot better than the last time I saw you! Did everything work out? I never heard what happened with the paper.”
“I’m really sorry,” I said, although I had a difficult time not smiling. “Things happened so fast all of a sudden. She’s now my…my girlfriend.”
“That’s great!”
Brian took half a step toward me before pulling back and patting me on the back, instead of giving me a hug, which was what he probably would have done had we not been at work.
“Thank you.” I smiled. “I can’t thank you enough for all your help and advice.”
“What about…” Brian motioned toward my students inside.
“Oh.” I chuckled. “She’s not completing my course.”
“So that means…?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.
“You’re going to have an interesting class next year.” I laughed. “I guarantee it!”
Brian laughed as well, shaking his head.
“I should get started,” I told him, glancing at my watch. “I’m running even later than some of my students.”
“You dress like them now, too,” Brian said, nodding in my direction.
I looked down. I had put on the white T-shirt I’d worn at the club, and paired it with a pair of Dockers, no belt. I’d never worn anything like that to work before. My hand flew to my throat. I wasn’t wearing my father’s bowtie! For the first time ever, I hadn’t put it on before teaching a class. I’d always needed it to teach, to feel confident in front of a classroom full of students.
I forgot. I was having fun with Julia on the kitchen counter and then I was running late. I just threw on some clothes without really thinking about it.
I waited for the feeling of unease to creep up on me, but it never came. I didn’t need the bowtie anymore. What did this mean? I had no idea, but I was happy. Julia was my girlfriend and life was wonderful. I didn’t need a piece of cloth around my neck to prove to myself that I could do my job well. I’d inherited my father’s penchant for literary analysis and his love of the written language. I carried that with me always, with or without his bowtie.
“Uh, it’s casual, end-of-the-semester Friday?” I suggested to Brian.
He smiled at me as he turned to leave. “In case I don’t see you, Stephen, have a great summer.”
“You, too!” I called after him.
I wiped the grin off my face, marching into the classroom.
“Settle down, everyone, and pack your phones away! That goes for the back row as well! Let’s talk exam preparation.”
Chapter 7
Three days later, we hit our first snag.
"Goddamn it!"
I was clearing the table when I heard Julia curse and went to see what was going on. She had spent the day at the university library and we had just had dinner together. Tonight, she was going to take a break from the history paper she’d been writing the past few days, and I would have her all to myself. I was giddy with excitement.
"What is it?" I asked as I joined her in my office.
She turned and looked at me.
"Nothing. It's nothing," she muttered, giving me a watery smile.
Oh, it's definitely something. She really is a terrible liar.
"Julia," I said, cocking my head to one side. "Tell me."
"No. I'm going to sound like a huge bitch if I say something."
"No, you won't," I insisted.
"Fine," she sighed. "It's just…you moved my stuff."
She motioned to her books and notes, which were now in two neat stacks on the desk, as opposed to the clutter I had found when I went in to use the computer earlier. I hadn't been in my office since she’d started using it as her workspace for her finals and I had no idea that she had made such a mess. My once-immaculate office was practically unrecognizable and I had cleaned it up immediately. But I certainly hadn't expected this sort of reaction from her.
"I, uh, I organized it for you," I explained, showing her how the books were now in alphabetical order and her notes were in a binder.
She didn't look like she appreciated it, though.
"Did I do something wrong?"
"No," she said, sighing again. "It's very sweet of you and I know how much you love order, but you sort of screwed up my system."
I almost laughed. "Well, if you call chaos a system," I mumbled before I could stop myself.
Her eyes darkened.
Uh-oh…
Just as I thought she was going to start yelling at me she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
"Look," she said calmly. "It may not look like a system to you, but it has always worked for me. The books were all opened on pages where there were quotes and references that I needed."
What? That's not a system you can count on!
Thankfully, I was able to keep my mouth shut this time.
"You don't have them written down anywhere?" I asked hopeful
ly.
She shook her head.
"So…now you have to start all over?" I asked as my heart plummeted.
She nodded and ran her hands through her hair, clearly not happy about this. I had just set back her work considerably.
"I need a cigarette," she mumbled and brushed past me.
I looked at the neat stacks of books and tried to wrap my mind around the fact that, according to Julia, this was the wrong way to organize them. I followed her outside where she sat down on the stoop and lit up.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, unsure if she wanted me out there with her.
She nodded her head and took another drag.
"It's all right," she said. "You were just trying to help."
I sat down next to her, hesitating before I ran my hand up and down her back. She closed her eyes, relaxing visibly under my touch.
"I know we had plans tonight, but I really have to work now.”
"Oh." I couldn't keep the disappointment out of my voice.
"I know." She sighed. "I was looking forward to it, too."
"Maybe I can help you so you'll be done faster?"
She laughed a little and shook her head.
"I don't think that's a very good idea.”
"Why not?"
"I was pretty close to losing my shit before. Maybe it’s best if you stay away from my books from now on. Is that OK?"
I nodded. I certainly didn’t want her to soil herself.
"I should go and clean up after dinner," I said, leaving her to finish her cigarette.
I couldn't help but feel a little rejected, even though it was my fault that Julia now had to work tonight. I shook my head and started doing the dishes. She had been working almost nonstop these last few days and now that the semester was over for me, I didn't have a lot to do. I had missed her company the last couple of nights when I had been alone in the living room and she had been holed up in the office. I knew that I was being ridiculous and her finals had to come first. I was lucky that she was staying here with me and I still got to hold her every night while we slept and I got to share meals with her. I was anxious for her exams to be over and for our summer to start.
Suddenly, I felt her arms around my waist as she pressed herself against my back.
"I'm sorry, baby," she said quietly.
"What for?" I asked. "You didn't do anything wrong."
"Yes I did," she said. "I shouldn't have said that you couldn't touch my books, and I shouldn't have been so ungrateful."
I wiped my hands in a dishtowel and turned to face her.
"Ungrateful?"
"Yeah, you're basically waiting on me hand and foot, and all you want in return is to spend time with me. I'll work extra hard tomorrow and we can still have our night together."
"No, sweetheart," I said, framing her face with my hands. "I'm the one who's sorry. I shouldn't have touched your things without permission. I said that you could have the office and I meant it. I'm just a little…enthusiastic when it comes to cleaning."
I leaned down and kissed her gently.
"And I love waiting on you, by the way," I added with a smile. "I've never had anyone to take care of before and it makes me happy to do so."
"Really?"
"Really." I kissed her again. "I love taking care of your needs."
"Mmm." She ran her hands down my back to grab my butt. "All my needs?" She pressed herself against me and kissed my neck, making her intentions perfectly clear.
"What about your paper?"
"Screw the paper.”
"You do realize that I'm a college professor, right?" I chuckled, holding her at arm's length. "I can't let you neglect your studies in good conscience."
"But I want you.”
"Later tonight," I promised. "Now go study, you bad girl."
Without thinking, I gently pushed her toward the office, giving her backside a little smack. Turning toward me, she rubbed her hand over the spot I’d just smacked, shooting me a sultry smile.
"Will you be attending to that need as well, Professor?"
I swallowed nervously but somehow managed to nod.
"I can't wait," she whispered before sauntering into the office.
What the hell just happened?
I leaned on the kitchen counter, drawing a shaky breath. I had just promised Julia a spanking and now she would expect me to deliver. I had already promised something similar the day my parents walked in on us, but those had been words spoken in the heat of passion and I hadn’t been sure if we were just talking dirty or actually planning a future encounter. Now there was no doubt. I was in way over my head. Yet again.
I finished doing the dishes with my heart and mind racing. My girlfriend wanted me to spank her and God help me, I really, really wanted to. But how would I successfully perform such a task to her satisfaction? What if I hit her too hard? Should she be naked or dressed? How would I even initiate something like that? I couldn't just do it without some sort of lead-up, and simply flipping her over during sex to have at it, so to speak, didn't seem right either.
I sighed heavily. I needed help and, unfortunately, I only knew one person I could turn to. So I did something I never, ever thought I would: I texted Matt and asked if I could meet him at his bar. My brother was going to give me sex advice. He’d never let me live this down.
After receiving confirmation from Matt, I went into the office again where Julia was poring over her books, effectively returning the desk to its former state of chaos.
"Do you mind if I go out for a little while?" I asked.
She looked up and smiled at me.
"No, of course not. Where’re you going?"
"Just to see Matt, have a beer and catch up," I said, omitting the real reason why I needed to see him tonight.
"I think that's a great idea. The girls are busy with school just like me, and you boys may as well enjoy your freedom while it lasts," she said with a smirk.
"Is that so?" I asked. "Planning on keeping me prisoner later on, are you?"
"I plan on keeping you in bed for at least two days after finals are over," she said nonchalantly but couldn't hide her smile.
Two days! Can a person die from having too much sex? Probably. But still, what a way to go!
"I can't wait," I echoed her words from earlier. "But you're sure it's OK that I go out?"
"Yes. Go!" she encouraged. "I'll be here when you get back."
I smiled brightly. She would be here waiting for me. No more coming home to a dark and empty apartment. At least for a little while longer.
I pushed that thought away.
"I'll see you soon," I promised and leaned down to kiss her. "Do you want me to bring you anything?"
"Just you," she said with a smile.
I grinned like an idiot and practically floated out of the apartment. My high didn't wear off until I pulled into the parking lot in front of Matt's bar and the reality of what I was about to do hit me. It took me five minutes to convince myself to exit the car. I wanted to do this for Julia, no matter how embarrassing it would be to ask my younger brother about intimate things.
"Hey, man!" Matt grinned as I walked over his usual table. "I got you a beer."
"Thanks," I said, taking a seat.
I wasn't sure how to start a conversation like this one and for a minute I just sat there picking at the label on my bottle.
"Did you and Jules split up?"
My head shot up.
"No!" I exclaimed, horrified at the thought. "Things have never been better. She agreed to be my girlfriend and everything."
"Then why the hell do you look so down?"
"I'm sorry," I said. "I'm beyond happy. This is just completely unfamiliar territory for me and I guess I'm still worried that I'll ruin this somehow."
Like if I accidentally hit her too hard and end up hurting her. There is no way in hell that I will risk doing that.
"OK, so what is it that you wanted to ask me? You were really vague in your text."
"I know. It's sort of a delicate matter and I'm not sure what I am going to do. I don't want to hurt Julia and she really wants this—"
"Holy shit!" Matt interrupted. "She's pregnant, isn't she?"
"What? No!" I exclaimed. "If that were the case I know what I would do. I would ask her to marry me and raise the baby together."
Whoa! Where did that come from? I really would marry her in a heartbeat.
"Thank God," Matt said. "I'm not ready to be an uncle yet. So what's the problem?"
I pushed all thoughts of matrimony away for now and focused on the matter at hand.
"It's not a problem per se. She wants something from me.”
"OK."
I hesitated.
Just tell him—and be discreet!
“S-spanking!” I sputtered. “I mean, she wants one. Julia.”
Matt laughed, rubbing his hands together.
"So this is a sex talk?" he asked. "This night is already way better than what I expected!"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I thought you wanted to talk about your feelings. You just made my week, bro! So…she wants a spanking, does she? You're a lucky bastard."
"I am?"
"Fuck, yeah! That shit's awesome. Some chicks get all hot and bothered when you dominate them. I didn't think your girl was into that, though."
"I, uh, I don't think she is…not seriously, I mean. She said she wants to tie me up and, uh, you know," I half-whispered, although no one was in earshot. "She likes both ways, I guess."
"Wait, wait, wait," Matt said and held up his hands. "You're telling me that not only does your girlfriend want you to tie her up and spank her, but she also wants to tie you up and fuck you? Am I getting that right?"
I nodded.
"Dude, did you just come here to brag because you know I'm not getting any at the moment?" he asked sullenly. "Because that's just mean, man."
"No, I would never—wait, you and Megan aren't…"
"No," he sighed. "She wants to take things slowly."
"And that's all right with you?" I asked, not doing a very good job of keeping the disbelief out of my voice.
