Corrupted

by Alexis Noelle

  Doc turns to Jordan when he finishes. “This will be dry in about twenty minutes, however it won’t fully set for up to forty eight hours. She cannot do anything strenuous in this period or it might crack, and I’ll charge Shooter double to come back due to irresponsibility.” Doc turns back to me. “Very nice to meet you, dear.”

  He leaves and I can’t help but smile at his friendly demeanor. Jordan sits down next to me. “How ya doin’?”

  “Um, I don’t really know. I’m kinda hungry.” I shift uneasily, knowing I should ask him what I really need to know. “I’m scared to do the wrong thing. Doc asked me what happened to me and I didn’t know how to answer him because I didn’t know if I should. Shooter said one mistake and I was out.” My good hand fidgets with the hem of my shirt. I need these guys. I can’t screw this up.

  “You can tell anyone in our club anything, no one outside of it. Which shouldn’t be a problem since you won’t be leaving the clubhouse. Just a tip though, watch yourself around the club girls, word is they have sharp claws.” I nod at him. “You wanna talk about it?” I look up at him and his brown eyes are trained on me.

  I bite down on my bottom lip. Jordan makes me feel things I’ve only heard the other girls gossip about. Butterflies in my stomach, and I’m not really even sure why. As scared as I was at the warehouse he made me feel like things would be okay. He seems to put me at ease when I feel like it should be the complete opposite. I was raised that sexual thoughts and attractions were a sin. You were not to lust after anyone who was not chosen for you. You could not choose your husband but rather would have to wait for the Prophet to tell you who God chose for you. The Prophet was our leader and everyone believed he had a direct line to Christ. I think it was the other way around, he served the Devil.

  “I guess I’m just trying to adjust. These clothes, I have never been allowed to wear anything like this. The dress you found me in was pretty standard. We were to have everything covered. The girls here, the way they dress. The way everyone talks, and curses freely. It’s just all very shocking.” He probably thinks I’m some pathetic little girl.

  Jordan reaches in his pocket and pulls out his cell phone, bringing it to his ear. “Hey, Tracie. Listen, can you pick up some clothes for Lucy? . . . Yeah, I know there was but not everyone wants to dress like a club whore . . . Thanks.” He turns back to me. “Tracie is gonna grab you some stuff while she’s out. You need anything else?”

  “You didn’t have to do that. I’m already imposing on you all. Putting your club in danger.” I look down, ashamed of the situation I’m in.

  His finger lifts my chin. “Sweets, you aren’t putting us in danger. Also, it’s no imposition since you’ll be pulling your weight. This is your home for the next four years, we’ll keep you safe.” He pauses, our faces only inches apart. I close my eyes, for the first time in my life wanting a boy to kiss me. I can’t believe that these thoughts are even running through my head. This isn’t what we’re taught, you shouldn’t have feelings like this for anyone until you are assigned a husband. I was never one to follow those rules though. I want the comfort of his touch. My mother was right, I am a sinner.

  The bed shakes and when I look up Jordan is gone. Why would he run away? Because he doesn’t want a prude like you. You’re a baby in his eyes.

  I probably looked like such an idiot. He is assigned to help me, nothing more and I was stupid for thinking anything was going to happen.

  I’m a responsibility not an option.

  I sit for a few minutes trying to calm myself down before heading out into the main room. It’s much more crowded than it was earlier. Shooter sees me and waves me over. “You good?” I nod. “Okay well if you’re up to it tonight it’s almost dinner time. I don’t want you out here any later than ten. You don’t need to be around for what goes on after then.”

  “Okay, thank you again.”

  I turn away and see Tracie waving me over to the bar. “How ya making out, Mary?”

  Ugh, stupid nickname. “I’m okay, all casted up now.” I raise my arm to her.

  “Has Jordan given you the low down on the brothers yet?” I shake my head. “Okay, well I’ll fill you in then.” She spins in the stool facing the room. “You met Twisted already, that boy is seriously . . . twisted.” She laughs. “Over there, that’s Torch the resident pyro. Sitting next to him with Lips is Cutter. The other two standing together, that’s Wrench and Brick, named after their weapon of choice.”

  I don’t know what to say. I guess now I get why Jordan said people run from them, not to them. “I, uh, I’m gonna go start dinner.” I don’t know if Tracie was trying to help me feel at home or make me want to run for cover. I make my way toward the kitchen and root through the refrigerator for things I could use to make dinner.

  When I hear something drop in the pantry. I walk around the corner and what I see shocks me. Jordan is standing there with one of the girls he pointed out earlier. His eyes are closed and his hands are tangled in her long blonde hair. She is on her knees, and—oh my God. I see his . . . penis!

  Look away, Lucy!

  I quickly turn and go back to where I was before. As I try to grab what I need for dinner, my mind keeps going back to what they were doing. I keep seeing the picture in my head. Embarrassment and a sense of disgust fill me at once.

  “Hey.” I jump at the sound of Jordan’s voice. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare ya.”

  I start chopping the veggies for the casseroles, which is no easy task with one good hand.

  “How’s the wrist?”

  “It’s fine.” I avoid looking at him. I don’t know why I’m hurt. I have no claim to him. I’m a little girl in his eyes and from what I just saw he is so out of my league.

  “You have any questions?” I want to just tell him to leave me alone. My ego is hurt. I can’t though. I should be thankful, he is the main reason this club gave me a chance. If it would have just been Twisted there today, he would have told me to get out and not looked back. “Tell me about yourself. You already know some of my story.”

  “Like what? There really isn’t much to know.” He takes a drink. I have a feeling that’s a lie. His eyes won’t meet mine. I get the feeling he is irritated with me and that it has to do with the fact that he is now tied to me.

  “I don’t know. Tell me anything. I mean I don’t even know how old you are.” I shrug my shoulders. I hope he doesn’t think I’m trying to pry.

  “I’m twenty one, came to the club a few months ago. My uncle used to be in the MC. He always talked about it and I knew that one day I’d be here. He passed away a couple years ago from cancer.” I can tell there is more under the surface. There are things he isn’t telling me.

  “There is something else that I’ve been wondering. What’s the difference between you and everyone else? I know they call you Prospect, but what does that mean?”

  “A Prospect is someone who wants to be a part of the brotherhood. But, this isn’t the kind of organization you just walk into. You have to earn your stripes, prove your loyalty and dedication to the club. Usually the waiting period is only a year, unless you screw up.”

  “When will your waiting period be over?” I stop chopping and turn to face him.

  His face is hard and I can sense the irritation rolling off of him. “When do you turn fifteen?”

  “In a month.” Why does that matter?

  “Then my waiting period is over in three years and one month.” He shakes his head as he stares at the countertop.

  “When I turn eighteen?”

  “Yep, I’m stuck in limbo ‘til then. I gotta go.” He walks out of the kitchen and I feel sick to my stomach.

  His life is on hold because of me. All he tried to do was help me and now I got him in trouble.

  I place the casseroles in the oven and set the timer for thirty minutes. As I walk back into the main room I see Jordan sitting with the other guys. I head back into my room and see shopping bags on my bed. There is a note sitting on top
of them.

  Mary, hope these are good enough. I thought about potato sacks but I figure you wouldn’t want to show off too much leg.

  I pull out some pairs of yoga pants and t-shirts. There is even a new pair of sneakers. I’ll have to thank her the next time I see her.

  I look around at the room I’m in and make peace with the fact that this will be my new home for the next three years.

  Home sweet home.

  ***

  When I’m done cleaning up I look at the clock on the wall, it’s nine-thirty. The club has really started to fill up with people now and the music that usually hums low in the background is blasting. There are people everywhere, and everyone is drinking and dancing.

  Then there’s me.

  I’m sitting on a stool at the bar completely overwhelmed by everything that is going on. Girls are half dressed and doing things in public I don’t even know if I would feel comfortable doing in private.

  When one of the girls takes off her top and climbs onto Twisted’s lap my jaw drops. His mouth is all over her and I think they might be about to have sex.

  I need to go. I practically run down the hallway into my room. As I lay in bed alone my emotions are mixed. My whole life has changed in the span of a day. Everything I know has been ripped away and everything that replaced it is foreign. I don’t even know how to act here. I don’t want to lose myself, but I feel like I could.

  I have gone from one extreme to another, being thrown into a completely new and unfamiliar territory.

  Hopefully when it’s sink or swim I’ll survive.

  Today is my birthday.

  I have been at the clubhouse for a month now, and it has really started to feel like home. The guys embraced me more than I ever could have imagined. They all joke about my age and call me their little sister. It feels good to have a positive sense of family. Shooter told them they didn’t need to change around me, but I feel like they are less wild when I’m around. I know from what the clubhouse looks like in the morning that it’s a totally different story from when I go to bed. Even though my room is at the end of the hall, I can still hear all of the parties. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious about them.

  Tracie isn’t bad. Her Mary nickname has now caught on through the whole club though, which is awesome. It’s not like they all don’t look at me as if I’m some sort of freak already. She is kind of like my mother figure in the house though. She always checks in on me and I feel like she is the only real friend I have here. We talk about my old life, things I would never tell any of the other girls. I can tell she is intrigued by it, whereas all I want to do is forget it.

  I asked Tracie about the parties yesterday and she said she didn’t want to corrupt my virginal mind. She is always picking on me about being sweet and innocent, but it’s not in a mean way. Even with everything I lived through with my natural family, it has been really easy for me to accept Tracie and the guys as my new family.

  Jordan is always around too. He gave me a phone a few days after I arrived and even when the club has him out doing things, he is checking in with me. Part of me hopes it’s due to more than just obligation. When he is around, I feel like my heart beats twice as fast. I can’t help but smile, and I know how cheesy that sounds. Seeing the types of relationships I did growing up, I didn’t imagine that a boy could make me feel like this.

  I wish I were turning eighteen instead of fifteen today. Every time he looks at me, I feel like he sees a child. I want him to really see me. I want him to notice the girl that thinks he’s cute and wishes he would kiss her. My infatuation with him has been growing and every time he is near me, I want to confess it to him. The fear of rejection is way too strong for me to ever consider doing that.

  The boys have let me know that there is a search party for me. My family has been all over the news feigning sorrow and praying for my safe return. Little does everyone know if I did return safely I wouldn’t stay that way for long. I understand why I can’t leave the clubhouse but sometimes I just feel so trapped. I’m a prisoner in my own life. I can’t have any relationships outside of the club. It’s almost as if I’ve traded one prison for another, at least in this one I feel safe. I can’t trust anyone outside of the club. I feel paranoid at all times that someone will see me that shouldn’t, or that my family will find me.

  The girls that hang around barely pay me any mind. They might say hello as they pass me on the way to a brother’s room, but that’s about it. Then there is Venus who is determined to make my life hell. I always see her talking about me to the other girls, the way she’ll look my way and start laughing. I’ve never even spoken to her so I really don’t get what I could have possibly done. It sucks.

  I spend my days here cooking the guy’s meals and keeping things clean around the clubhouse. I am so thankful that they all welcomed me into their family.

  Today is a day where I wish I had a normal family. The kind you watch on TV shows where everyone is always smiling. One where you could wake up on your birthday and come downstairs to find decorations, and presents. To have people who love you surround you.

  I stand up throwing on a pair of jeans and a long sleeve pink t-shirt. I laugh looking in the mirror thinking of the day Tracie brought me home this shirt. I picked the girliest damn color that made me want to puke, and figured you would love it. Tracie’s wardrobe consisted of red, black, and gray. When she handed me the shirt, she was holding it out as if the girly color might rub off on her. I run my fingers through my long waves as I look at my reflection. I’m so plain compared to all of these girls.

  I head out into the main room, ready to get this day over with. I stop dead in my tracks, completely shocked at what I see. Balloons and decorations are strewn throughout the main room. Jordan, Tracie, Shooter, and the boys are all standing in the middle of the room. Jordan sees me first, smiling at my obvious shock. Everyone yells “happy birthday” and a huge smile breaks out across my face.

  Jordan walks over to me. “Thought we would forget? Happy birthday, Sweets.” He gives me a hug before stepping to the side as everyone else descends upon me. I look around at the room full of people that have taken me in and my eyes begin to well with tears.

  I never really got to celebrate a birthday before. In my family there were so many of us kids that it wasn’t practical to celebrate everyone’s birthday. My dad had so many wives I don’t even think he could keep up with all of the kid’s birthdays. My sisters and I would sometimes have little parties for each other in our rooms after we were supposed to be in bed. There were never any presents given, or parties thrown for us by our parents.

  Twisted walks through the door carrying boxes of doughnuts. He walks over to me with a very rare smile. “None of us can cook ‘cept you kid.” I shake my head and laugh, how they didn’t starve before I got here is a miracle. He places the doughnuts down and I grab one, thanking him.

  I sit down at the table and look around me as I eat my birthday doughnut. Jordan sits down next to me. “I can’t believe you guys did this. I didn’t think anyone would remember.”

  He shakes his head and laughs. “I will never forget your birthday for a couple of reasons.”

  My smiles fades a bit. Right. My birthday is his countdown.

  He slides me a box across the table. “This is a gift from all of us.”

  I look around and everyone has made their way over. When I lift the lid of the box, I can’t help but smile. It’s a sweatshirt with the MC’s name on it.

  “Turn it around!” Tracie shouts.

  I flip the sweatshirt over and can’t help but laugh. On the back it says “Mary.” “I’m guessing this was your idea?”

  “Well, you know . . . “ she shrugs.

  Shooter walks over to me and pats me on the shoulder. “Welcome to the family, kid.”

  Everyone starts to walk away but I can’t move. Welcome to the family. I’ve always had a family, but never really wanted one until now. This show of acceptance and love really makes me
feel like I’m part of something.

  “You okay?” Jordan is still sitting next to me.

  “Yeah, I just don’t think any of you guys know how much this means to me.” I look over at him trying to hold back my girly tears.

  He puts his arm around me and I freeze. “I don’t think you know how much you mean to us now.” There is electricity between us. I can feel it, and I want to say something to him. His statement confuses me because I really don’t know how I mean so much to them. I want to believe that they care about me, but then there is the little voice in the back of my head saying everyone has to watch out for me. I look at Jordan and his eyes are boring holes into me. “I gotta go. Happy birthday, Sweets.” He gets up and practically runs away from the table.

  And me.

  I’m cleaning up after the club’s party last night when Twisted comes racing through the door. “Pres! We got company! It’s the cops!”

  I freeze behind the bar.

  “Fuck! Jordan, get her out of here!” He yells.

  “You got one minute, they are out of the cars.” Twisted’s voice is hard and rushed.

  “Fuck!” Jordan grabs my hand. He looks across the room where the entrance to the hallway is. “Shit, we won’t make it.” He pulls me into the closet next to us. Once the door clicks, I hear the front door slam open.

  In the small space, I’m pressed against Jordan’s chest, my hands resting on his hips.

  “What can I help you with, sheriff?” I hear Shooter’s voice, but I’m dying to see what is going on.

  “We got this search going on for a missing girl. Fifteen, name’s Lucy. Look familiar?”

  “I ain’t never seen her. Fellas?” A murmur of no’s follow.

  “Listen you dirty biker scum.” My entire body shakes. It’s my uncle. Jordan’s arms encircle me pulling me close to him as my body reacts to the presence of my demons. Usually this is enough to comfort me but when my nightmare is in the next room, nothing can ease the nerves running through me. “We checked everywhere the night she disappeared. The only place around was your warehouse.”