Loving You Easy
Page 9
“No.” The word was like a thunderclap. Final. Definite. A lie.
He had no idea why the thought of Ren and Cora hooking up bothered the hell out of him. He didn’t know Cora, and he was used to Ren’s escapades. And it wasn’t like Hayes was going to make some move on her. Even if the way she looked at him today had made his instincts prickle with awareness. For a brief moment in the hallway, he’d had a flash of Ren stepping behind her, whispering commands in her ear, telling her exactly what to do and what the two of them were going to do to her.
Hayes had gotten used to missing sex. But he hadn’t been prepared for the deep ache for more that had hit him, that thrill of playing on the edge, that connection of sharing a woman with his best friend, that satisfaction of being in charge and making sure everyone found their version of bliss. His body had physically hurt with the rush of need and the grief that had been hot on its heels. He’d never have that again. Instead, Ren would pursue Cora, and Hayes would continue exactly as he was now. The thought was damn depressing.
“You know,” Ren said, voice deceivingly casual, “when she first saw you in the hallway this afternoon, she made this little breathy sound. I don’t even think she realized she did it, but it was obvious what she thought of the view. Not that I blame her. I mean, you’re not as hot as me, but you’re pretty close.”
Hayes’s head lifted at that, sending Ren a warning look.
Ren grinned. “Okay, maybe equally as hot. But the point is, she isn’t repulsed by us. Always a good start.”
Hayes shook his head. “There is no start.”
“Come on, Fox. I know you’re in monk mode, but a little harmless flirting never hurt anyone. This could be good for you. I think you’re going to like Cora. And I have a feeling she’d like us.”
“I don’t need to like her. I just need her to get this breach fixed.”
Ren tipped his head back and groaned. “Yeah, yeah. All work and no play. The Hayes who could crack a smile is gone. He will not try to make a friend at work. He will not enjoy the company of a smart, interesting woman just for the hell of it. He will not take up his very hot best friend on his very generous sexual offers. Broody dude will brood in his office all day long and be broody. I get it.”
Hayes stared at him, the words said lightly but landing heavy. Every word was the truth. He didn’t like the picture it painted. At all. He could remember a time when he and Ren had joked around, when they gave each other a hard time on a daily basis and made each other laugh. When being at work was like play—an adventure with his best friend by his side. They made video games, for God’s sake, not nuclear bombs. Everything felt so life and death lately. How Ren had even tolerated being around Hayes since he’d gotten out was a freaking wonder. Hayes released a breath and scraped a hand through his hair. “Goddamn, I am a miserable fuck to be around, aren’t I?”
Ren lifted his head, surprise on his face.
“And broody, Ren? Who uses that word? I’m not a eighteenth-century English lord.”
Ren’s lips curved. “You could totally pull that shit off, though. Lord of the manor? You’d be all over that. Wearing cravats. Bossing people around. The mansion would have to be named something super dark and creepy. Raven House or Blackwood Manor.”
“And Lord Hayes never comes out of his room,” Hayes said.
“And the drawing room is haunted.”
“And there’s a room in the east wing that always remains locked,” Hayes added.
“Because that’s where the bodies of the former servants are kept. They all killed themselves because the lord was so damn broody that they could bear it no longer.”
“Ha. It’d be funny if it wasn’t so close to the truth.” He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, feeling ten kinds of exhausted. “I’m sorry, man. I get so trapped in my own head sometimes that I don’t realize how shitty it must be to be around me.”
Ren sat forward, bracing his arms on his thighs. “I’m not looking for an apology. You know I’d put up with your broody ass for as long as it takes. You have the right to be angry and depressed and paranoid. You come by that stuff honestly. You’ve been through hell.”
Hayes looked down.
“And believe me, I remember how it is to feel like you’re drowning under the weight of all that heavy stuff. When you first met me, I felt like I was at the bottom of the ocean with bricks strapped to my feet. I didn’t think I’d ever surface again. Hell, I didn’t know if I wanted to. But this bossy white kid from across the street forced me to go to school every morning and talk to that nosy social worker. He made me draw my comics. He kicked my ass and forced me to go through the motions. And eventually, my brain caught up. I started seeing the other side, laughing again, having fun. Living.”
Hayes’s chest tightened. He could remember the day he’d first heard Ren really laugh. The kid had been so beat down, so quiet, for so long. But one day after school, Ren had brought Hayes to his aunt’s restaurant to introduce him to sushi. Hayes had talked a big game that he could handle spicy food, so Ren had bet him twenty bucks that he couldn’t take a big dollop of wasabi without spitting it out. Hayes had boldly popped it in his mouth and swallowed. It’d taken about five seconds before he was coughing, ten before he was crying, and fifteen before he was beseeching God for help and cursing the entire nation of Japan.
But then Ren had burst out with this full-throttle laugh that had filled the restaurant and had taken Hayes completely off guard. He’d never heard the kid sound so openly joyful. And suddenly the house of pain that the wasabi had brought on was worth every second. He’d finally gotten to meet the real Ren, had gotten a glimpse of the sarcastic, playfully sadistic smartass he’d eventually become. He’d surfaced in the ocean.
“Yeah, you were a broody motherfucker, weren’t you?” Hayes said, trying to lighten the mood.
“I was worse. I wasn’t broody, I was emo before emo existed. And you didn’t let me get away with it.” Ren stood and stepped closer. He thumped Hayes on the knee, making him look up. “So, that’s all I’m trying to do for you. You annoyed the hell out of me back then. Now I’m returning the favor. I’m not going to sit by and let you lock yourself up in the manor, Lord Hayes. I’m going to push you. I’m going to point out when a pretty woman gives you a look. And I’m going to make inappropriate sexual offers. And you are going to appreciate it, dammit.”
Hayes laughed at that, the sound hoarse and foreign in his throat. “I don’t deserve a friend like you.”
“That’s the thing,” Ren said, putting his hands on Hayes’s shoulders. “You absolutely do. You’re not just a good guy. You’re the best guy I know, Fox.”
Hayes’s jaw flexed.
“All I’m asking is that you try,” Ren said, voice softening. “Let me push you. Trust that I’ve got your best interests in mind. I’ve got your back, just like you had mine.”
Hayes’s heart was beating fast, his palms sweaty against his thighs. The thought of trusting anyone, even Ren, was so goddamned hard. But he heard what Ren was saying. Just one foot in front of the other—go through the motions. Stop running in place. “This sounds like a negotiation conversation at The Ranch.”
Ren smirked. “Oh, hell no. You would be the worst goddamned sub in the history of subs. My arm would go out before I could beat you into submission.”
Hayes grinned. “No doubt.”
“So?” Ren asked, dropping his hands from Hayes’s shoulders and folding his arms, the gauntlet laid down.
Hayes released a breath and pushed himself off the credenza. “Fine. I’ll try to let you push. I’ll come to work next week. I’ll be less brooding lord and more the guy who used to work here. But the Cora thing is a no go for me. No women. No kink. That’s all I can give you right now.”
Ren nodded, relief at the edges of his expression. “I’ll take that. For now.”
Ren held out his ha
nd like it was an official negotiation.
Hayes took it and squeezed but instead of releasing it, he tugged Ren closer. He touched his forehead to Ren’s, their hands clasped tightly between them. “For what it’s worth, you’re the best guy I know, too. And turning down your offer was and still is the hardest thing I’ve done since getting out. I won’t use you, Ren. Doesn’t mean I’m not tempted.” He swallowed hard, letting the truth slip free. “I’ve always been tempted.”
Ren closed his eyes, breathed. “Fox . . .”
In that moment, Hayes wanted to cross that line, to do something about the attraction that had simmered unspoken between them for all these years. It’d been so goddamned long since he’d touched someone, been touched. He’d just have to angle his head, brush his mouth against Ren’s. He didn’t have much experience with men, but this wasn’t just any guy. This was Ren. He had no doubt it’d be like a match struck if they ever let the smallest thing happen.
Then disaster would follow. Ren had friends. And Ren had lovers. The two didn’t cross. Something happening between them would light a match and then it’d burn everything the hell down.
Hayes released Ren’s hand and stepped back. “I’ll see you at home.”
Ren’s Adam’s apple bobbed. “Yeah. See ya.”
Their gazes held for a second too long. Hayes turned and strode out the door before he did something he’d regret in the morning.
He’d agreed to let Ren push.
He hadn’t agreed to jump off a cliff.
SEVEN
“What are you doing here so early, Junior?”
Cora glanced up to find Detective Andre Medina standing in the doorway of the computer room with a smile. She hated when people called her Junior, but somehow Medina pulled it off. Probably because he was so damn charming. He could tell you that you were under arrest and you’d happily hold out your wrists for his cuffs.
His hands were tucked in his pockets and his tie was loosened like he’d had a long night. He and his partner were working a horrid double-murder case, and the two of them were under all kinds of pressure from her mother and the media to get it solved quickly.
Cora pointed at the laptop in front of her. “I offered to dig through the Candor case since no one else was having any luck. I have another job to go to at eight, so I thought I’d sneak this in before then.”
Andre frowned. “Is that the case with that teacher from the middle school?”
She leaned back in her chair and grimaced. “Yeah. Good news is I found some damning stuff. Bad news . . .”
“Is that the allegations are true.”
She blew out a breath, already drained even though her day had barely started. This was the hardest part of working at the station. She loved unraveling a mystery and liked that she could help, but she hated some of the stuff she had to see. The dark side of human nature was an ugly place. A teacher posing as a teen on Facebook and coaxing naked photos from his students was pretty fucking ugly. “Exactly.”
Andre stepped inside and braced his hands on the back of the chair in front of her desk, looking more tired than she’d ever seen him. “Well, I hope the job you’re going to next is less grim than this.”
“The jury’s still out on that.”
“Another precinct?”
“No, it’s at FoxRen Media. They have a pretty heinous hacker to deal with, though.”
Andre’s eyebrows went up. “FoxRen? I know those guys, the owners. Jace and my brother-in-law are investors in the company.”
“Oh.” Fuck. What was wrong with her? She should’ve never mentioned the name or that they had a problem. Andre’s husband had invested in them? Great. Confidentiality fail. “Well, I’m sure I’ll get their systems fixed in no time. Nothing to worry about long-term. Please don’t say anything to anyone. I shouldn’t have said—”
He held up a hand. “It’s fine. Jace knows those guys well enough to trust them to tell him if something is seriously wrong. But . . .”
He glanced back toward the open door.
Cora frowned. “But what?”
Andre turned back to her, a crease in his brow. “Have you met Muroya and Fox yet?”
She sat up straighter, not liking the sudden wary tone. “Yes. Ren is the one who hired me and I briefly met Hayes.”
“And what’d you think of them?”
Hot. Intimidating. “Ren seems like a handful but friendly. Sharp. Hayes seemed . . . quiet.”
“Yeah. That’s a good assessment.” Andre stepped around the chair and sat, leaning forward and lowering his voice. “But do you know anything about them? The history?”
“I—” She pressed her lips together. “Not really. I mean, I know the company’s been around for a few years, but I just got hired. I haven’t had time to do any research.”
Andre rubbed a hand over his stubbled jaw, looking like he was debating on telling her whatever it was.
“What is it, Medina? You’re freaking me out.”
Andre grimaced. “All right. Listen, Junior. I like your mom and respect the hell out of her, but I know she’s crazy protective over you and can be a little over the top with that. You should’ve heard the talk she gave all the guys and girls before you started helping out here. So you’re going to have to trust me when I tell you not to let your mom know that you’re working at FoxRen.”
Cora’s brow scrunched. “What? Why?”
“Let’s just say she wouldn’t willingly let you within fifty feet of Hayes Fox.”
Her stomach clenched. “What’s wrong with Hayes?”
The lines around Andre’s mouth deepened as he peered back at the door again and then looked at her. “Fox just got out of prison a few months ago.”
“What?”
“Yeah. The original case went through here. It was before I got to this precinct, but your mom oversaw the investigation.”
Her mind was reeling, remembering the intensity of Hayes, the way he’d looked at her, the way her body had responded. The edge of danger that had tripped her alarm bells. She swallowed past the dryness in her throat. “What was he in for? White-collar crime or something?”
Andre’s jaw flexed. “Aggravated rape.”
Her stomach plummeted and her skin went cold. “Shit.”
“I know. But listen. I know the guy, knew him before he went in, and he didn’t do what they said he did. He wouldn’t have. The conviction was overturned. That’s why he’s out.”
But she could barely hear him. “Rape.”
“Hey,” Andre said, trying to catch her eye. “Listen to me. You know I wouldn’t give you the thumbs-up to go work for the guy if I thought there was even a glimmer of a chance he was guilty. But I promise you, your mother will absolutely not feel the same way. She helped put him behind bars. When he got out, she went on a rant about how he bought his way out of his conviction. So she will flip her shit if she knows you’re anywhere near him.”
Cora lifted up her glasses and rubbed the spot between her eyes, a headache hatching. “How do you know, Medina? What if he’s a good liar? You see it all the time with sociopaths. They can trick their best friend, their wife, you name it. I don’t want to be working with a rapist. No money is worth that.”
Andre sat back in his chair. “It’s absolutely your call. I’m just telling you that I one hundred percent know that he didn’t do what he was accused of. That’s all I can give you. The rest is his personal business.”
She opened her eyes and put her glasses back in place, the news pressing down on her like sacks of grain. On one hand, she trusted Andre’s word. The guy wouldn’t tell her this unless he really believed it. He was as protective of women as they come. But she’d also grown up with a cop mother. People could be world-class liars. People who you’d never ever suspect were bad could do horrible things. The only people who could truly know if Hayes was guilty wer
e Hayes and the woman he’d been with. And Andre wasn’t one of those two. But innocent people had also gone to jail for crimes they didn’t commit.
She felt sick to her stomach. She’d spent so much of her life avoiding danger, being on the lookout, learning how to be safe. That part of her said to bail, to not take the risk. Better safe than dead. That was the motto her mother had taught her. She could find another job. But at the same time, she was so damn tired of being on guard all the time, of looking for malicious intent whether she had reason to or not. She’d done everything she was supposed to and still somehow got attacked on her porch. Safety was never a one hundred percent guarantee no matter what you did. She wanted to be smart, but she didn’t want to live a paranoid life. Hayes had made her nervous, but he hadn’t scared her. She’d been drawn to him, not repelled.
If she was supposed to trust her gut, her gut wasn’t saying run.
She didn’t want to run.
But she would have to be on full alert. She wasn’t going to walk away from this job based on unproven information. She could handle herself and would make sure she was always in a safe situation—co-workers around, not working late, not being alone with him. And if Hayes showed any bad sign or made her uncomfortable in any way, she was out of there. But for now, she was going to trust her gut and Andre’s word.
“Thanks for letting me know,” she said finally. “There’s no need to tell my mother anything at this point anyway. It’s just a job.”
Andre nodded and rubbed a hand over the back of his dark hair. “Okay, well, I’m going to get my paperwork out of the way and then go home. I think I forgot to sleep yesterday.”
She shook her head. “You should ask one of the officers to drive you home.”
He stood and stretched. “Nah. I have a toddler who thinks two A.M is an awesome time for chats. I’m used to existing on no sleep. But if I hit the point of no return, I’ll call Evan or Jace to come pick me up. That’s why I married them both. I always have a designated driver.”
Cora smiled. “Good thinking.”