Satisfaction

by Lexi Blake

  He stood at the end of the bed they’d shared the night before, his jaw tense and his eyes staring right through her. He looked . . . angry. Why? Because she was being defiant? Well, he needed to deal with that right now.

  “I want to go home. I don’t intend to spend three days in a place I don’t know anything about. Where I don’t know anyone.”

  “You know me.”

  Did she? She knew the sweet Bran who sat at her table and ate anything she put in front of him. She knew the guy who kissed her and said she was beautiful. She wasn’t sure about the Bran who was standing in front of her now. He looked like a gorgeous, angry bull, but she wasn’t about to back down from him. “You got what you wanted. You’re in with my boss. Now you can back off. We’ll go to California soon and you’ll get your job done and I’ll do mine. I don’t need to sit here for three days.”

  “I thought we agreed I would stay with you until this was over.”

  Frustration welled. She was trying to be reasonable and logical and he was pushing her buttons. “We agreed you would stay with me while it made sense. You dealt with the DiLuca situation. I’m not in danger anymore.”

  “I’m not sure about that,” he replied, stubbornness stamped on his features.

  She was through with this argument. It was time to get dressed. She would feel better once she had some armor on. In this case armor would have to be hospital scrubs, but anything was better than her failed attempt at seduction. “Well, I’m a big girl and I can handle it. Why don’t you leave so I can get dressed?”

  His eyes flared. “Why don’t you stop pretending to be some prissy historical character? I’ve seen most of it, Carly. You don’t have to cover yourself up like I’ll attack you the first chance I get.”

  And now she’d had enough of him. Her insecurities got tossed aside because being mad felt better than being ashamed. He’d led her here. She hadn’t mistaken him or gotten the wrong idea. He’d led her to believe he wanted her and now he seemed to get off pretending like he didn’t know what happened.

  It turned out he wasn’t too good to be true. He was better at hiding it than most men. If she’d been true to her normal mousy self, he would have been able to play her right until the end. He would have used her desire against her.

  She threw the covers off. “No, I suppose we both know you’re not going to do that, don’t we?”

  He huffed and shook that gorgeous head of his. “What does that mean? Carly, I don’t know why you’re so pissed at me.”

  She needed to make a few things clear to him about how this partnership would work from now on. It was actually freeing to have it out in the open. She’d taken him at his word, but like most men, his words had more than one meaning, more than one purpose. “I’m pissed because you didn’t have to play me the way you did. I would have been perfectly comfortable working with you without all the acting on your part.”

  “Acting?”

  She rolled her eyes and got out of bed. “Yes, acting like you wanted me. I believe I gave you several perfectly reasonable scenarios in the beginning that didn’t involve you playing me for a fool.”

  “How did I play you for a fool?”

  “Why are you still pretending? I get it. I don’t have to be told twice. I won’t bug you for sex again. We can play the part in front of an audience, but if we’re not on stage I would greatly prefer you weren’t around. Now please leave this bedroom and let me get cleaned up. If you need something from me, use your phone or send me an e-mail.” She stalked past him toward the gorgeously done bathroom down the hall of the suite.

  Another reason to not stay here. The whole place was stunning and obviously owned by people who had a charmed life. She’d learned that staying someplace nice could often make her feel like her life was nice, too. It could delude a person into believing they could have a life like that.

  She’d almost made it to the bathroom when a rough hand reached out and grabbed her. She was hauled around and pushed up against the wall.

  “I’ve done nothing to deserve you treating me this way.”

  Anger bubbled up inside her. “Really? I suppose you do see it that way. Did you think flirting with the fat chick was a public service? Is that how you view it? Because let me tell you something, Brandon. I didn’t see it quite that way. A real public service would have been if you could have gone through with it, but you weren’t man enough for that, were you?”

  His hand tightened around her wrist.

  “Let me go. What are you going to do, Bran? Are you mad that the fat chick saw through your plan?”

  She glared up at him and then stopped. Right above his left eye she could see a vein ticking. He seemed to be staring at her, but his eyes were vacant. His whole body shook with a fine tremble.

  What the hell was she doing? Why was she pushing him like this? Tears pierced her eyes. Maybe what he’d done hadn’t been the nicest thing in the world, but what she was doing was even worse. She wasn’t this woman.

  Whatever he’d done, he likely thought he was doing it for the right reasons. He’d never told her he would be her boyfriend. He’d never told her any untruth, except he’d kissed her when he obviously hadn’t wanted to. Maybe he’d thought he needed that kind of control but he hadn’t been able to go through with it.

  He’d saved her twice already and she was ready to turn on him because he wouldn’t sleep with her. And he was obviously going through something of his own. There were times when he seemed so distant, like he was stuck somewhere and needed her to bring him out of whatever world was in his head.

  She reached out with her free hand. She should have accepted his rejection with some grace. A man couldn’t help what he wanted. He couldn’t change the fact that he didn’t find her attractive any more than she could change the fact that she was half in love with him. She ran her fingers over his left brow, trying to ease the tension.

  “Bran, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things. It was mean and beneath me. Please calm down. We don’t have to fight. I won’t be cruel anymore.”

  The hand around her wrist eased slightly, but he still didn’t say anything.

  “It’s okay. We’re all right if you’ll forgive me. I was hurt and I lashed out.”

  “How did I hurt you?” The words came out on a guttural growl. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  Did he not understand? A few minutes ago she would have thought he was torturing her further, but now she had to wonder. Maybe he didn’t get what she was upset about. It was humiliating, but then, she’d said some awful things to him. “I tried to get you to make love to me and I got hurt when you pretty much jumped away as soon as you could. It’s all right. The kissing stuff was just to get me comfortable around you. I wish you had explained that to me because I thought it meant something more, but I shouldn’t have been so nasty.”

  “You kissed me.” He was looking at her again, into her eyes and not through her.

  “I’m sorry.”

  His other hand caught her free one and suddenly she found her hands caged in his and high above her head. “You kissed me. You meant to do that?”

  Was she that bad at it? Had he not even known she was kissing him? “I did, but I can see that it was a mistake.”

  She felt so flipping vulnerable. She thought she’d been vulnerable before, but now he was holding her tight and his eyes wandered down. His tongue came out, raking over that full lower lip of his like the Big Bad Wolf getting ready to take a juicy bite.

  “I jumped out of bed so you wouldn’t know.”

  Had the temperature gone up ten degrees in the last few seconds? Her whole body had gone hot and she wasn’t sure she could handle whatever he was about to say. Still, like a moth to the flame, she couldn’t stop herself from asking. “Know what?”

  His hair was messy from sleep, tumbling down over his eyes. They focused in on hers as he p
ressed his body in. She was caught between the wall and a ridiculously healthy male body. A very aroused male body.

  “I thought it was cold and you were trying to get warmer. I thought if you felt how hard my cock was you might be a little scared. I didn’t want to scare you.” He didn’t seem to have the same issues now. He rubbed his hips against hers, letting her feel exactly how hard he was. “In the future, when you want to ask for sex, a polite ‘Bran, could we please have sex?’ will do. Or we could set up a code word for times when we’re in public and you want to let me know you need me. Something innocuous like ‘I’m hungry.’ Then I’ll know to get you somewhere private as quickly as possible.”

  “And what if I’m really hungry?”

  “Then I’ll feed you after I fuck you.” His mouth hovered above hers. “I thought it would be best if we avoided this. Best for you. I’m not the man you think I am. That’s why I jumped out of bed. I wanted to protect you.”

  “You don’t want to protect me now?”

  “Can’t. Not now. Like I said, I’m not the man you think I am. I learned a long time ago to take my pleasure when and where I can. I learned to be selfish, and I’m about to be very selfish with you, Carly. I’m going to give you one last chance to run. I’m going to let go of your hands and you can walk out and give me a minute to compose myself and then we’ll go right back to where we were before. We’ll be friends and I’ll treat you like a lady because I really like you.”

  “And if I don’t run away?” She’d already made her choice. There was no way she could walk out that door.

  “Then you’ll be mine until this is done. Carly, think about this. I want you, but I’m not good for anyone. I’ve stayed away from you because I think I could hurt you.”

  At least he was honest. Hurt would be better than the horrible numbness of the last few years. Anything was better than the aching loneliness she felt. It might only be for a few weeks, but at least she would feel alive.

  His hands released hers and he stepped back. Gone was the sweet Bran she knew so well and in his place was a hungry panther. A gorgeous predator and she wanted nothing more than for him to make a meal of her. She was no longer worrying about her weight or how her boobs weren’t perfect anymore. All that mattered was the moment and showing this man that she wasn’t going to run from him.

  And maybe this time she would get it right.

  She moved up to Bran, happy that he was the one pressed against the wall. She reached out and grabbed those big wrists and held them up, giving as good as she’d gotten. “I need to make something plain to you, Lawless. I’m a big girl and I can make my own decisions about things like this. You’ve been honest with me. That’s all I ask.” She crowded him, rubbing her belly against that erection of his. “I want to spend the next few weeks with you. I’m not asking beyond those few weeks and some kindness when our relationship is done. Can you give me that?”

  “I won’t ever be unkind to you, Carly. I can’t stay in a relationship long-term. I’m not built for it. I want it. I do, but it won’t work.”

  Honesty. It’s what she wanted. It didn’t matter because she wasn’t walking away from him. She was going in with her eyes open, and she would handle the fallout when he left. But for now, she was going to enjoy him. “Let’s see if you understand me better this time.”

  She went up on her toes and brushed her lips against his, dragging her tongue across his bottom lip. She let her body nestle against his, feeling all that strength and power. Her man was all muscle and that did something for her.

  “Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he growled before breaking her hold.

  His hands moved, running down her back and cupping the cheeks of her ass. She barely managed to take a breath before she found herself being lifted up against his chest. Her legs moved as though on pure instinct, wrapping around Bran’s lean waist as her heart rate tripled. She held on as Bran took over, his mouth taking hers.

  He was moving but she no longer cared about anything but the way his mouth felt, how his tongue slid inside and danced with her own. His big hands squeezed her cheeks as he moved them back to the bed.

  He eased her down, covering her with his body. He kept his mouth on hers while his hands roamed. So long. It had been so long since she’d had the solace of another body against hers. All through the night, she’d felt connected and safe in a way she’d never felt before. Somehow she hadn’t stayed awake for worry she’d snore or move the wrong way and wake him up. She’d curled up and it had been right to sleep by his side.

  Kissing him felt right, too. His hand sliding under her tank top and moving toward her breast felt like joy. She gasped when he cupped her there. His callused palm moved over her nipple and she could feel the electricity spark between them.

  “How long has it been for you?” The question rumbled over her skin because he was kissing her neck when he asked it.

  “Too long. A couple of years. I haven’t done this since before I got divorced.” Even then it hadn’t felt like this. Roger had been charming and attractive and apparently he’d used all his good bedroom moves on women who weren’t her because she felt more for Bran in the few seconds he’d been on top of her than all the times she’d slept with Roger. Her whole body was active. With Roger, she hadn’t known what she was doing so she’d pretty much let him control everything.

  She still didn’t know what she was doing, but her hands wouldn’t stop moving. She couldn’t seem to stay still.

  His thumb circled her nipple as he kissed along her jawline. “I want to fuck you right now, Carly. I want to shove my cock in deep, but I suspect you’re going to need some time to heat up.”

  Nope. That sounded like a fine idea to her. “I’m good. Let’s go.”

  He rolled her nipple between his thumb and forefinger, tweaking her lightly. It hurt the tiniest bit and then heat flashed through her system. “Not until I’m sure you’re ready. You’re practically a virgin. I want to make this good for you. I know about your previous history. You should know something about mine.”

  Why was he talking so much? Roger never talked this damn much. Of course, she’d also never needed Roger like she needed Bran. If he didn’t keep touching her she might die. “Just send me a list of your previous lovers and we’ll call it done. Now can you please kiss me again?”

  He chuckled and laid the sweetest kiss on the tip of her nose. “So impatient. You know, it kind of makes me want to slow down. I’m going to do this right. After we’ve been together for a while, you’ll come to associate me with pleasure and your body will respond properly. I’ll be able to touch you exactly the right way and you’ll get soft and wet for me. I worry that you’re not ready yet and I want this to be good for you, so how about we make a deal? As a man who’s been completely dedicated to bringing women pleasure since he was a far-too-young teen, why don’t you let me lead you in this. You control the cooking and the house and hell, if you want to dress me, I’ll let you. But I’m in control here.”

  He was the only one. She felt completely out of control. Every word seemed to take her higher and he wasn’t inside her yet. “Bran, I’m ready. I’ve never felt like this before. I want you.”

  He kept that perfect control of his. “Not the way you will in twenty minutes or so. Hush and let me show you how well and thoroughly I can worship you.” His mouth came down on hers again and she couldn’t fight him.

  He was going to kill her, but it was also apparent that he was going to have his way. And he was right. She wasn’t very experienced sexually and he did let her take the lead in almost everything else. He always let her watch what she wanted on TV. He sat beside her and watched with her as though simply being around her was enough to keep him entertained. The one time they’d slipped out to see a movie, he’d made sure it was something she would enjoy.

  The man knew how to take care of a lady.

  “Have I told you ho
w beautiful you are?” He nipped at her ear, the tiny pain sending her squirming because it seemed to go straight to her core.

  “You always do.” He never failed to compliment her when she walked down dressed for the day. It made her look at herself in a different way. “I thought you were flattering me so I would get close to you. That’s not how you work, is it, Bran?”

  He kissed along her jaw. “No. I will always say what I mean, baby. I won’t play games with you. I don’t ever want you to feel insecure with me.”

  She let her hands run through that silky black hair of his. She’d never met a man quite like him and he seemed way too good to be true, but she was going to stop overthinking. Overthinking and being insecure had almost ruined everything a few minutes ago. She should have told him how his actions made her feel and then they would probably be way further along in this process by now. No more wasted moments. Not when they likely had so little time together. “You make me feel beautiful, Bran. I need you to know how much I want you. Have I told you how handsome you are?”

  His head came up and the grin on his face was piercingly sweet. “You’re not upset you got me and not Drew?”

  He knew the answer to that, arrogant man. “You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever met and I can’t wait until you’re inside me.”

  Maybe she could speed things up with some dirty talk.

  “Sweet,” he conceded. “Still not going to make me rush. I’m going to take my time because I want to know every single inch of you.”

  He moved down her body. Apparently Bran’s version of knowing really meant kissing. His lips seemed to touch every inch of her skin while his hand cupped her breast. The only moment he stopped his slow exploration was to drag the tank over her head and toss it away.

  “Now, those are some gorgeous breasts. I’ve wanted my hands on them since the moment I saw you.” He lowered himself down again.

  Carly couldn’t help the gasp that came when he brushed his lips over her nipple and sucked it inside.