Denouement

by Kenyan, M. O.

  “You need to go.” McKenzie almost pushed Tobias off his chair. “I will call Jessie and find out where they took her, and have a car waiting for you at the airport.”

  Tobias barely heard what he said. He was fighting with his brain to work as his whole body just wanted to collapse. He wanted to sit in a corner, his knees held to his chest as he rocked himself trying to extinguish the image of a motionless Marietta from his head. He blamed himself, on his way to the airport and on his flight from New York to Miami. Tobias cursed himself, he was supposed to be there, protecting her. If he loved her he should have protected her.

  Tobias barely noticed the army of body guards that led him through the airport to the car waiting for him outside. Someone was in there, trying to brief him on something that his mind wasn’t connecting. All he could hear was his heart pounding in fear, and his brain trying to come up with coping mechanisms. What if he lost her? What if she was the one and he had walked away from her six months ago. If he had given their relationship a chance he could have been at her side and could have stopped her from getting hurt.

  But he didn’t. He’d left and now he was stuck in a car playing a what-if game. “Can this car move any faster?” he barked at the driver.

  “Is she dead?” He finally talked to the woman in the car.

  “No. Not since the last time I checked half an hour ago.” She winced as she spoke.

  “Half an hour? You are a joke.” He chuckled in disdain.

  “Sir, they aren’t giving any outsiders information. Plus I can’t reach her assistant, not since the last time Mister McKenzie spoke to her.”

  Knowing Jessie she had probably switched off her phone or she wasn’t taking any calls that were not important. Tobias wondered if Chris had been contacted. Not that he took what McKenzie said to heart, he knew Chris was the only family she had. The car stopped and Tobias jumped out. He walked into the small triangle the body guards had managed to form as they fought through the throngs of paparazzi and their flash bulbs. When he got in, he didn’t have to ask which room she was in. Everyone seemed to be rushing in one general direction.

  He stepped over a velvet barricade and almost ran when he caught sight of Jessie. She was walking back and forth as the doctor was trying to talk to her. Tobias knew the news wasn’t good and almost stopped in his tracks out of fear. But Jessie had already seen him and called out to him.

  “Explain it to him,” she urged the doctor.

  “Is he family?” the doctor asked.

  “He is…I mean he was the father of the baby,” Jessie stammered out as she spoke.

  Tobias felt his heart chill to a block of ice. “What baby?”

  “She didn’t know, I swear we didn’t know.” Tears flowed freely down Jessie’s cheeks as she trembled.

  “We need someone to sign a consent form,” the doctor said.

  “Why? What for? Can’t Marietta do it?” Tobias was trying to un-hear the news about the baby while trying his best to concentrate on Marietta’s health.

  “She’s unconscious. Plus it would be less traumatizing for her if we expelled the fetus without her being conscious.”

  Tobias swallowed the lump in his throat then asked, “What if she was?”

  “She’d have to push it out after we induce labor.” He paused. “We also need to stop the blood loss. Surgery is our best option.”

  “I’ll sign it.” Tobias couldn’t imagine having to hold Marietta’s hand as she gave birth to their dead baby. At this point he didn’t know if she knew there was a baby.She was the priority now. He signed the form the doctor gave him and watched as they rolled her to the operating room. “What happened?”

  “We were standing and laughing one second them wham!”Jessie slapped into the wall next to her, causing Tobias to jump into shock. “One of the ladders fell on her and she just lay there trapped under it.”

  Tobias didn’t remember seeing the ladder. They must have removed it before someone decided to catch the ordeal on camera. “And the…and the…uh…baby?”

  “She stood up for a second. Then it was like the flood gates opened.” Tobias noticed the dazed look in Jessie’s eyes and wondered if the girl hadn’t gone into shock. “It was clear liquid, then blood. Then she doubled over in pain. She let out one scream, I swear my dead grandmother heard it, and then she dropped back on the ground.”

  “Does she know?” Tobias was glad that he hadn’t been able to see it to that point. He was sure just the sound of her screaming out in pain would have sent him to an early grave. “Does she know about the baby?”

  “She was awake a few minutes before you got here. They had to sedate her, because she went bonkers. She was hysterical. Then the doctor started telling me about this procedure.” Jessie crouched on the floor. “Dear God, why is this happening.”

  “Did you call Chris?” Tobias had to ask. He didn’t know whether or not Marietta would want to see him when she woke up. She needed someone who would be her strength and at that moment Jessie wasn’t a stellar candidate.

  “I tried, but he’s in some jungle somewhere. But I already talked to McKay, he said he’ll try and help us reach him.” Jessie eased back on the wall and sighed. “I just want to close my eyes and wake up at home. You can’t leave again because I don’t know how to handle this.”

  “I can’t leave her now.”

  “You can’t leave her ever.” It sounded more like a warning than a request.

  There was something that didn’t register with Tobias. The last time he and Marietta were together was six months ago, she should have known she was pregnant. Or were they trying to keep it a secret from him. “Jessie how could she not know? She must have been at least six months along. She should have been showing.”

  Jessie stood up and flipped through her phone. She showed him a picture of her and Marietta. “This was taken yesterday. She hasn’t put on a pound, no morning sickness, no cravings, nothing.”

  Tobias didn’t understand, Marietta was just as skinny as the last time they’d parted. “Are you sure the baby is mine?” He wanted to kick himself as soon as the words left his lips.

  “She slept with you nine years after Chris. She is in love with you and six months would have been nothing. Besides she was so excited to see you tomorrow.”

  “She knew I was in the movie?” he asked.

  “It’s Marietta. She approves everyone who works on her set.” A smile flickered on Jessie’s face before she was tearing up again.

  Chapter Six

  Tobias sat next to Marietta’s bed watching her as she slept. Each time she tried to turn she whimpered in pain and it cut right through him. Tobias didn’t know how much more of this he could take. He thought about leaving when Marietta started crying in her sleep. At first he thought she was awake, but he called her name a couple of times and she didn’t respond. He thought about getting into bed with her and holding her. He wanted to comfort her but he was terrified he would only end up hurting her. So, he sat by her side and held her hand, his teeth grinding each time she moaned in pain.

  Marietta woke up with a start. She was staring into his cold eyes, then a wave of pain washed through her, both from her memory and physically. She opened her eyes and met Jessie’s warm ones staring back at her. Marietta smiled but when she tried to lift her hand she couldn’t. Shifting her gaze, she saw her hand trapped in Tobias’ grip.

  “How long has he been here?” Marietta looked at him, her eyes heavy with sleep. She felt so tired for a second she didn’t think she was awake. But the pain in her back and her abdomen brought her back to reality. Her heart hurt too. She was shattered and staring into Tobias’ face wasn’t easing her pain. A tear trickled down her cheek as guilt slammed into her, how was she going to explain this one?

  “He arrived a few minutes after they sedated you. He’s been here throughout, no bathroom or snack breaks. He just sat there holding your hand and staring at you.” Jessie stretched her aching body. The sofa hadn’t been comfortable but it wa
s the only place she could sleep without being disturbed by the hospital staff, “I, on the other hand had to get a burger.”

  Marietta laughed but winced in pain, “Please don’t make me laugh.”

  Jessie held onto to Marietta’s hand, the smile on her lips gone and the laughter in her eyes replaced by deep concern, “I was scared for a minute there. Especially when… when, they asked me what to do about the baby. I’m just glad he came when he did.”

  “So he knows?” She took a deep breath that seemed to tremble out of her when she exhaled. “What did he say?”

  “I think he still can’t believe it. It might be the shock or the fact that you are as skinny as a pencil.”

  A knot of nerves formed in Marietta’s throat. Her heart froze in her chest, she bit her lip then asked, “He doesn’t think the baby is his?”

  “Can you blame him?”

  “I don’t think I can.” Marietta smoothed her hand over her belly. She still couldn’t believe that she had been walking around all this while not knowing there was a life growing inside of her. Now that the baby was no longer there she had this strange edgy feeling of emptiness and loss.

  * * * *

  Deep in his sleep Tobias could hear voices. He shrugged them off until he swore he could hear Marietta’s voice. He opened his eyes and lifted his head, but he saw Jessie. Then he heard Marietta’s voice. He whipped his head around and met her gaze. She looked exhausted and in physical pain. But the look in her eye that Marietta tried to cover with a withering smile, the pain of loss tore right through him. He rose and put his forehead against hers. Her skin was warm, warmer than it should be, like she was getting a fever. But it was the slight tremor that made him pull back and stare squarely into her face.

  Should he say something? Should he give her a hug? Should he bring up the baby? He didn’t want to say anything about that until the doctor came and briefed both of them. The previous night he was too on edge to listen to the doctor. He remembered feeling like the only thing he wanted and needed was to be close to Marietta. So, without a word he pressed a kiss to her lips and lifted his lips in a grin.

  “You scared me,” he whispered against her lips.

  Tobias leaned into her palm as she cupped his face, turning ever so slightly to kiss into it. A chill shot through him when he remembered how motionless she was and how she whimpered in pain. Now she lay in an elevated bed smiling at him, but there was no laughter in her eyes.

  Before she could say anything the nurse walked in with a tray in her hands. She asked them to leave but Tobias refused. He knew that the nurse was going to clean her surgical wound. He had an idea of how it would look so he didn’t think it was something he had to run away from. But knowing and putting on a façade of bravery didn’t stop his stomach from churning.

  “She feels a bit warm,” he put in.

  The nurse touched Marietta’s forehead and nodded. “It’s nothing to be worried about but I’ll let the doctor know. Are you sure you don’t want to step outside?” The nurse gave a final warning before she tore off the bandage.

  Tobias held his own until the second he heard Marietta cry out in pain. “I think I will wait outside.”

  He heard Marietta chuckle as he ducked out.

  “Couldn’t take it huh?”

  “I’ll just go and get cleaned up. I’ll be back in a second.” Tobias rushed off.

  Tobias returned a few minutes later. He had managed to get a clean shirt, a tooth brush and some tooth paste from the hospital shop. He got to Marietta’s room and hovered for a while. He knew the second he walked in they would have to talk about the baby and he wasn’t too sure how to handle that topic. There was a lot of doubt in his mind, not because he didn’t trust Marietta but because he didn’t want to believe he had just lost a child. Tobias soon realized a small crowd of nurses were beginning to form around him. He gave them a polite nod then walked into the room.

  Their eyes met and for a few seconds they just looked at each other. He skimmed his gaze over her, there was no physical evidence of the trauma she had just faced, but her eyes said it all.

  “You are a wuss,” she teased, holding her hand out to him.

  Tobias closed the gap between them with three large strides. He held her hand in his and rubbed a kiss against her soft skin. “I just can’t bear to see you in pain.” He cringed when the memories of the previous night flooded through his mind.

  “What is it?” A frown formed on her lips.

  “It’s nothing. I’m just glad you are okay.” He debated whether he should let her bring up the baby or if he shouldintroduce the topic.

  But the doctor walked in with the same subject in his mind. Tobias sat on the bed with Marietta his arm around her shoulder as he gathered her up against his side. It was as if he was bracing himself and her too for the impact they were about to get. He willed himself to be brazen, if not for himself then for Marietta who was now trembling at his side.

  “You are healing quite nicely. The nurse told me about your worries, but it’s normal at this stage.” He cleared his throat realizing that there was no graceful way to introduce the next subject. “You were around twenty-five to twenty-seven weeks along. It’s common for women not to show. It just means that the placenta was in an abnormal position. He might have also been hiding under your rib cage. The reason you didn’t feel him kick might be the extra cushion the placenta had formed. ” He sighed. “We are not quite sure, but the doctors on this case think that he died on impact when the ladder landed on your back, or soon after your water broke. His heart just stopped beating.”

  “His heart?” Tobias heard Marietta whisper. “You keep saying ‘he.’”

  “It was a boy.” The doctor nodded.

  Marietta burst into a storm of tears and Tobias held her even tighter as he tried to keep his own emotions at bay. “What are you going to do with him?”

  “That depends on you.” Tobias noticed the doctors flickering gaze of concern towards Marietta. He had no doubt that the doctor was thinking about sedating her once more.

  “Can we take him and bury him.” Tobias asked.

  “Sure.” The doctor gave Marietta a final glance then left.

  “It’s my fault. I should have known. I didn’t know I swear.”

  Tobias didn’t respond to anything she said. He just held her tighter and rocked her. He was sure that she had cried for a solid hour. He didn’t dare leave her side, but when Jessie returned he thought he could get a moment to himself.

  “Could you sit with her?” his voice trembled out.

  “Sure.” Her voice was as low as his, “Peter, McKenzie and your parents are here.”

  Tobias gave an exasperated sigh, “Fine, call me when she wakes up. I’ll just be outside.”

  Tobias stepped out and all the strength he had when he was with Marietta escaped him. His emotions sent him to his knees. He leaned back on the wall, buried his face in his hands and cried. He felt as if his soul was being ripped out. Not caring who was watching he let the pain that squeezed his heart sound out through his lips. His mother’s arms were around him as he watched his father’s lips move. He could hear Peter’s and McKenzie’s voices but he couldn’t hear what they were saying. The only thing he heard were Marietta’s heart wrenching cries and he felt useless and powerless.

  “She’s a strong girl.” Tobias finally heard McKenzie say.

  But before he had time to register everything else everyone was saying, Jessie crouched at his side, “She’s awake, and she’s… I don’t know what she is. She’s not crying but I can see the tears in her eyes. She’s just staring out the window with this blank expression on her face. I can’t… I can’t—,”

  “It’s fine.” Tobias said as he wiped the tears off his face, trying to scrub the few seconds of crying he had managed to get in. He stood up with the help of a million other hands. It was a good thing they all had their hands on him because he rocked back unsteadily as if he was about to fall.

  “You sho
uld have a seat.” Edward Spencer, his father said.

  Tobias stared at him and thought of how he had always tried to get away from his father’s shadow. But at that moment all he wanted was his father to hold him. He stepped into his father’s embrace and resigned himself to the fact that he would never be able to hold his son the same way his father was holding him.

  “It was a boy,” he whispered.

  “You need to be strong.” His mother, Elizabeth, said. “You need to be strong for her. You need to eat something.”

  “I can’t. I have to go back inside.” Tobias shook his shoulders as if to bring his body back to life. “Were you able to reach Chris?”

  “Yes, this morning. He’s coming as soon as he can.” McKenzie answered.

  “I know you all want to see her but I don’t know if she’s going to be up for it. Maybe later?” Tobias’ voice cracked with emotion as he walked away from his family.

  “I’ll take care of the arrangements,” he heard his father say.

  When he got back in the room he watched Marietta and, apart from her rising and falling chest, she didn’t move. Her eyes darted towards him for a second but she quickly looked away. She was trying to hide from him, but he wouldn’t let her. He climbed into bed with her and gently pulled her into his side.

  “You want to cry?” he asked and she shook her head, “What do you want to do?” She didn’t answer so he went on, “Do you want to talk to anyone?”

  * * * *

  Marietta shook her head. She had been handling her losses on her own. She didn’t need to bounce how she felt off anyone. She could handle it on her own. But it was a lot easier having Tobias with her, together they could soak in the emotional overload and somehow get each other to the other side.

  “Jessie told me your parents are here, Peter and McKay too,” she finally said.

  “They wanted to see you, but I told them to wait.” He kissed the back of her neck and combed his fingers into her tight bun.