by Harte, Marie
And he didn’t want to think about it. But he couldn’t seem to stop.
“Talk to me, Aidan.”
“Fuck off,” he said, wishing he sounded harder and less hoarse. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I wouldn’t press, but I know how things can fester.” Gavin quieted. After a moment, he said, “Have you ever talked to anyone about it?”
Aidan felt so angry he wanted to explode. He didn’t want Gavin seeing him like this. Hell, he didn’t want anyone to see him like this. But Gavin had to poke and pry. “You want to know? Do you really want to know why I don’t bottom?” he yelled and turned to face his lover.
“Yes.”
The quiet response irritated him all the more, because he saw compassion in those big blue eyes.
“When I was ten, my father sold me for drug money to some shithead pedophile who raped me, over and over, until I just couldn’t take it anymore. I made his brain explode. I killed the fucker and took off, but not before I told my old man’s pusher a bunch of lies that got him killed. Happy now?”
Aidan wanted to storm off, to leave and not look back. He hated the memories with a passion. He felt those hands on him, that sickeningly sweet smell of Old Spice and body odor clogging his nose. The unwelcome intrusion of a dirty, thick finger, and then more…
“I’m so sorry, Aidan. So sorry.” Gavin had tears in his eyes.
“I don’t want your pity. Get out.” He turned off the emotion, not able to let it in. His brain started bubbling, the need to destroy, to kill, like a drug. He saw Tyler and Samson in his mind’s eye, and he wanted them to burn.
Gavin turned to leave, and Aidan let himself shut down. He let all the rage and the pain and the grief go. The numbness worked, because it allowed him to exist, in control, strong and sure. No doubt or vulnerability. He had to be together and on guard for Samson when the prick returned.
God, he couldn’t wait to kill that asshole. And this time, he’d make sure to draw out the pain. He’d keep his mental energy under wraps while he filleted the guy with his own hunting knife.
Hands circling his waist shocked him. He would have pulled away but Gavin clung to his back like glue.
“Let go.” I don’t want to feel right now. “Fuck, Gavin. Get off.” His voice almost broke.
“No. I’m not leaving you.”
“Not now.” But you will later, because no one stays. “I can read your mind, boy. I know what you want, what you need. And it isn’t me. I’m not a daddy for you. Okay? We fucked, and it’s over. It was a mission, Gavin. That’s it.”
“Okay.” Gavin hugged him tighter.
He felt moisture against his back and sagged. “Christ. Tell me you’re not crying.” He blinked hard to dry his own eyes.
“I’m not crying.” Gavin sniffed.
“Hell.” Aidan didn’t want to move. He liked Gavin’s arms there. And that was the problem. He liked it too much.
“I love you, Aidan.”
He froze.
“I love you, and if you look deep, you’ll see why.”
“Let go. You don’t love me. You love the Dom you think is me.”
“You read minds. You manipulate them. And you nearly killed two guys with that oversize brain of yours. You like to protect me, because I’m smaller than you. And you like fucking me, because I’m good in bed.”
Aidan’s bark of laughter sounded like a sob, so he shut his mouth and clenched his jaw tight to keep from responding.
“I know you, Aidan. I really do. And I love you. I don’t care what some insane, pathetic loser did to you when you were ten. And I’m glad you killed the man who sold you to hell.”
“He was my father.”
“And he should have protected you.”
Aidan hadn’t meant to share telepathically, but Gavin was fucking him up. “You have no idea what I’m really like. I’m an asshole. I don’t know how to love someone. You said it yourself. I’m controlling. It’s my way or else. I don’t know how to love anyone, Gavin. And I don’t know any other way to be.”
“It’s okay. I know how to give you what you need. And you do love me. You just don’t know how to handle it.”
Panicking because Gavin seemed to be rejecting his excuses, Aidan struck fast and hard, needing to get out before Gavin tossed him to the curb. “I don’t love you.” It didn’t get more brutal than that, even if it was a bald-faced lie.
“Yes, you do.” Gavin moved faster than Aidan would have imagined. A swirl of power enveloped them both, and then they were in the air.
Aidan hadn’t prepared for it and felt off balance. Then before he could gather his center, Gavin shifted them in the air and moved higher, toward the vaulted ceiling.
“Shit. Gavin, let go.”
But when he did, everything went wrong. Aidan landed hard on the bed on his belly. And Gavin dropped like a dead weight onto his back.
“Gavin?”
He didn’t move.
A raspy chuckle came from the darkened corner of the room. Samson Ruelle stepped out, a gun in his hand. “Hello, boys. Miss me?”
Chapter Twelve
Samson stared at the pair with glee. The fuckheads outside had been more than obvious. He’d taken them out without expending much effort. Two shots with this gun, and an elephant would go down. He’d handled the one, and Tyler, now out on bail, had handled the other. Of course, it helped that Samson had brought plenty of backup. A dozen men on the payroll now followed him, because he’d taken charge. Kerr had taken one look at Samson and known it was his time to step down.
Samson hadn’t seen him since their escape from the feds a week ago in Mendocino.
Gavin Caldwell, the little twink, was adorable against Aidan’s back. From flight to fright. Terrific stuff.
“Like a fucking daytime drama. Your boyfriend cried for you, big guy. That’s a lot of love.”
Aidan didn’t speak, but his rage was a tangible thing. It made Samson jittery, and so fucking hard. “After all that talk about being in control, I bet it bugged the shit out of you when I had you tied up at my mercy.” He licked his lips, loving the sight of Aidan facedown on that giant bed, his long hair covering his face but not his left eye, which was trained on Samson with a hatred that burned.
“You’re so hot when you’re angry.” Samson walked into the light and aimed the gun at Aidan. “With one shot, I could knock you out. You’d wake up with me inside you, buried in that ass you won’t give to just anyone. Only for your dead daddy’s friends do you put out, huh?” He snickered. He loved this. He could see how much Aidan wanted to kill him, but the warrior on the bed was stuck in Samson’s sights.
“Why don’t you put the gun away and fight me like a real man?”
“Why? So you can do something to my mind again? Yeah, I get it. You’re some kind of mental freak. You did something to me and Ty. And he’s not happy about it, by the way.” Samson shook his head. “He’s out on bail. In fact, he’s outside right now, slitting the throats of the Boy Scouts who should have been watching out for you. Oh, and he’s not alone. I have more men waiting for my signal. They can’t wait to play with your little toy.”
Samson shook his head, having fun for the first time in days. “It wasn’t easy, tracking you down, but Stallbridge is sloppy. The money led right to your precious gym. And Ty couldn’t wait to help me out. It’s just you and me now.” Samson glanced at Gavin and shot him again, on principle.
“I’m going to kill you slow.” Menace dripped from the blond giant’s mouth like venom.
Before he could use any of that weird mental stuff, Samson shot Aidan once, in the thigh. “I’m going to fuck you slow,” he countered. “In a few seconds you’ll feel it. The burn of your muscles slowing, not responding. Then you’ll be paralyzed. Another shot will knock you out. I want you to feel me, though. We’re going to have so much fun, Aidan. Right here, in your own home. Won’t that be special?” He laughed. “I’m not going to kill you. We’re going to fuck for a while. Th
en you’ll bleed. A lot. And then we’ll go back to my place and play some more. You see, Carl is gone. I’m head of the syndicate now.”
“You ever quit running that mouth?” Aidan didn’t sound scared. Or angry, actually. He sounded bored.
“Tell you what. Want me quiet? Let’s hear some groaning and grunting while I shove inside you. Open your mouth.”
“Fuck off.” Aidan wriggled out from under Gavin.
Impressed he had that much mobility, Samson watched. Then he shrugged and tossed the gun. When was the last time he’d had this much of a challenge? “Why not? It’d be much more fun to take what I want.” He grinned, the thought of forcing Aidan to do what he wanted better than taking a drugged, sluggish ass.
“I thought maybe I could make this slow. But I don’t think I can.”
Perfect. His speech had started to slur. But then Aidan rose to his feet, still steady.
“Come on, sweetheart. Come and get it.” Samson gripped his erection, straining to feel the hot glove of Aidan’s ass all around him. Considering what he’d heard, he knew the big man didn’t let anyone do him. He’d be like a fist, so fucking tight. And he’d scream. A lot. Probably bleed too.
Samson took a step forward. Or he tried to. He couldn’t move.
“Yeah. You’re my puppet now, dickhead. How about you take that gun in your hand. That’s right. Shoot yourself twice. You know where.”
Though the words were hard to understand, and Aidan had to clutch at the bed to stand upright, Samson couldn’t stop himself from picking up the tranq gun and aiming at his own crotch.
Aidan slumped to the floor, but his eyes remained open. He watched as Samson squeezed the trigger, and two darts embedded themselves in his cock.
He screamed in pain, then worry as the drug started to invade his system.
“Not yet. You have more to do. Grab that knife you brought with you. That’s the one.”
Samson dragged the knife out of his jacket pocket, terror making it hard to think.
“Slit your throat.”
He mentally screamed as his knife sank like butter into his own skin. To his shock, he only felt the initial sting. The rest of the cut was painless, probably because he kept his knives super sharp. Coldness settled into his bones, the unfamiliar feel of failure weighing him down.
“No, no. Not yet. You have one more move to make. One final place to rest your knife.”
He stared into Aidan’s eyes, seeing death and hell waiting for him. The cold was worse than anything he’d ever experienced. He tried to scream, but his voice didn’t work. He could only choke and watch as his hand raised the knife, then plunged down once more…
AIDAN WATCHED WITH dark pleasure as Samson stabbed himself in the crotch and twisted the knife, his agony a joy Aidan would have a hard time forgetting in the future. If he had one. Samson had been easy enough to handle. Gavin remained safe, but Tyler and those others would have to be dealt with.
He couldn’t move, but with his mind, Aidan controlled the drug in his blood. He kept his brain clear of fuzziness, allowing his body to sag while his mind remained sharp. Gavin would be unconscious but okay. He hoped. With supreme effort, Aidan turned his head to allow himself to see who came through the door.
He’d noted two darts in Gavin’s shoulder. Aidan only had one in him—probably why he could still function.
He heard a door open and the rush of feet. He readied himself, no longer worried about losing control. The headaches that came after using his power like he had could be bad. After that first time with his abuser when he’d been a child, after scrambling the guy’s brain cells, Aidan had nearly seized to death. He hadn’t been able to handle that much overload.
Older and stronger, Aidan thought he could do it. He hadn’t killed Tyler or Samson at the mansion, after all. And just now he’d used Samson like a puppet. But with so many more threats coming, he would simply let go and hope he had enough juice to protect Gavin. He’d probably die, but what the hell. He could go, knowing he was loved.
Gavin seriously loved him. If that didn’t beat all, he didn’t know what did.
Tyler Barnes entered the bedroom, looking grim.
Aidan centered his power and attacked.
“Fuck. No. No, no, Aidan, it’s me,” Tyler rasped as he went down on his knees and clutched his head. Blood ran from his nose and eyes, but as Aidan watched, he started to change shape.
What the hell?
Avery rushed in behind “Tyler” with Nathan following. He took in the scene and raced to Aidan’s side while Nathan helped Tyler to the floor, trying to pin him in place while he thrashed.
“Aidan. It’s me. Hey, Aidan.”
While he watched, Tyler grew longer, broader, thicker. Until it was no longer Tyler but Jack Keiser splayed on the floor, twitching and groaning. Someone called for help, and Aidan pulled back on his power, astonished and suddenly too tired to do more than groan. Gavin was okay. It was all right to give in to exhaustion.
“Hey, man. You’re good. We’ve got it all under control. You guys are safe,” was the last thing he heard Avery say before he passed out.
* * * *
The next thing he knew, he was blinking at a bright-white ceiling and familiar fluorescent lights. The smell of antiseptic hit him.
“I told you to take it easy, didn’t I?” Dr. Cannon sighed. “You men never listen to me. And trust me—I have a bone to pick with my sons about how they handled your security. Don’t worry. I’ll take them to task.”
It took a moment for Aidan to regain clarity, but when he did, he yelled for Gavin. Or tried to. All he managed was a cough.
“Easy.” Dr. Cannon brought him a cup of water. “That was some nasty stuff in those darts. Properties of monkshood and curare but without the deadly consequences, fortunately. Thus you have a paralytic without death. You managed to stave its effects well enough. Gavin is fine, just sleeping.” She nodded, and he turned his head to see Gavin sleeping in a bed on the other side of the room.
Gladdened and almost dizzy with relief to see Gavin okay, he drank the water as well as another cup she handed him. “Thanks. Is Jack okay?”
“He’s fine. I had to do some work with him, though. His brain trauma healed with some fancy footwork, if I do say so myself.” She smiled, but the look she gave him told him she knew he’d been responsible. “That’s some trick you have there. Might want to keep it tight to your chest, though.”
“Huh?”
“Exactly.” She nodded. “You have a few people wanting to see you.” Dr. Cannon had just pushed through the door when Aidan remembered to thank her.
“No problem. But really, Aidan. You’re becoming a repeat customer, and we don’t like to see our patients too much in any given month. Take a vacation.”
“Good idea.”
Before the door could close after her, Avery, Nathan, and Jack entered.
“You look like shit,” he said to Jack, whose left eye was bloodshot. The rest of him looked okay, though he seemed paler than he’d been the last time Aidan had seen him.
“Thanks, brainiac,” Jack said sarcastically. He glanced at Gavin and nodded. “Sleeping like a baby. Figures.”
“Hey. He took a hit.”
“Relax. I’m glad he’s fine. We have an audit coming up in few months. I need him back at work tomorrow.”
“Nice, Jack.” Nathan huffed. “I can’t believe you used the Cannons instead of us. Didn’t I tell you Avery and I were available?”
Jack stared at Nathan until Nathan muttered under his breath and finally left. Avery took a good look at Gavin and nodded. “Just the way I’d seen him. Good.” And by seen, he most likely meant in a vision. Then he followed Nathan out the door.
That left Jack and Aidan.
His boss just stared at him. “Nifty trick you used back there.”
“What’s with the word nifty?”
Jack raised a brow.
“Never mind. But hey, I could say the same. I know our psychic crap
is weird, but hell, man, you’re off the charts.” How was it even possible to shift your bones and skin to literally change shape?
“Tell you what, Aidan. You shut your mouth about me, I keep quiet about you. And don’t worry about Avery and Nathan. They saw and know nothing.”
If Jack said it, Aidan trusted he meant it. “Okay. So that’s your thing, huh? Shape-changing?”
“And being a royal pain in the ass, yeah.”
Aidan grinned, and then Jack went and ruined his mood by saying, “That mind thing. You never mentioned you could do that.”
“Because I can’t.” Didn’t want to be able to do it. “I did it once by accident. It just…happened this time.”
Jack glanced at Gavin, still sleeping soundly. “I see.” He rubbed his eyes, and Aidan felt badly that he’d nearly killed the guy. “Look. I really don’t like getting involved in my team’s personal lives. You have no idea how much I hate this, but with Kitty gone, I—”
“Gone? What happened?”
“She’s on a case. And no, I didn’t want her on it. It just happened. Shut up and let me finish. Christ.” Jack swore under his breath before continuing. “Look. It’s no secret you and Gavin click. I’ve seen it since day one, and hell, he’s probably the only guy on the team that can handle your ego.”
“My ego? What about Nathan?”
“He’s taken.”
“Not what I meant,” Aidan growled.
“I’m just saying you and Gavin make a good team. Our CPA thinks I don’t know how he cracked a few secure servers to get his intel.” Jack snorted. “Right. I admit, I’m impressed. He’s a good source to go to for insider info, especially since our other source crashed and burned.”
Aidan didn’t think it was his place, but he wanted to ease Jack into the truth for Gavin’s sake. “I don’t think he likes fieldwork so much.”
“I didn’t think so.”
“Smug doesn’t become you, Jack.”
His boss snorted. “You should talk. Anyway, you and Gavin have some mandatory time off. No question. I don’t want to see either of you until next Wednesday, at which point, numbnuts over there owes me overtime. I can’t believe how fucked up our paperwork is now.”
