When Autumn came into the kitchen and sat down and watched the transformation, her mouth dropped open. Mom sat perfectly still the whole time and didn’t complain once, not even when Jessie straightened her curls with a flat iron.
Maybe she was thinking it was time for a change, too. Hopefully, she wasn’t paying too close attention. The last thing I needed was for Mom to look this good for a “critique date” with Jeb.
“Taa-daa!” Jessie said, reaching for a mirror a few minutes later.
“Wow, Mom,” I said, “you look fantastic!”
“Like a fashion model!” Autumn chimed in.
Mom peered at her reflection, running a hand over her straight, glossy hair. “I have to admit, I certainly look different.”
“You look very glamorous, Mrs. Beringer,” Jessie said. “I’ll get a good grade on this makeover.”
“Say cheese!” I said, picking up my camera. I snapped a few shots to be safe. I couldn’t wait to hear what Scott had to say when he saw her picture. It was sure to bring love back into his eyes, and I had Jessie, my new friend, to thank for it.
***
A packet of photos arrived from Scott the following week. I ran up to my room and opened the envelope, shaking out a pile of pictures onto my bed. A folded piece of paper fell out, too, and I read the note:
Dear Sunflower,
I found this envelope of photos in my drawer. Hope this helps. Luckily, the dates were already marked on the backs or I’d have no idea when these were taken!
Good luck with your project!
Love,
Scott
I sifted through the photos, looking for that special one that would remind Mom how much they were in love. The first photo I picked up showed a picture of the two of them in front of a college sign. Mom’s hair was in a long braid that hung over one shoulder. Scott’s hair covered his ears and almost reached his shoulders. They both wore jeans and T-shirts and they were grinning as if they might burst out laughing at any minute.
There were a couple more of them together, but mostly, it was photos of them with groups of friends, including Scott’s twin brother, Mark. Mark died in a car crash when I was little and Scott didn’t talk about him much. They sure looked a lot alike.
I studied the photos closely, but I didn’t see any where Mom and Scott were gazing into each other’s eyes. They looked like they were having a great time … but they looked mostly like good friends.
These photos were not going to make Mom remember how she was once madly in love. My album was going to be a total flop.
I sifted through the pile again, wondering if I’d missed something. Nothing. Not even a glimpse. I was getting nowhere, and Mom’s birthday was only a couple of weeks away.
I heaved a big sigh. Then I piled up the photos and dropped them back in the envelope. But as my fingers dropped against one of them, it felt thicker than the others. I stopped and took a closer look. A photo was stuck on the back, so I peeled it off.
The photo dropped facedown on the bed. Rebecca, Mark, and Sunflower was scribbled in Scott’s handwriting. The date written below the names was my birthday.
My heart pounded as I flipped it over. I was holding the photo of Mom and Scott and me in the delivery room right after I was born. Only it wasn’t Scott who was leaning in and staring down at me with love.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
I pulled my hand away quickly, as if I’d touched a hot stove.
Why was Mark holding me in the hospital after I was born, and why did he have his arm around Mom?
I stood up, shoving my chair hard against the desk. Then I stomped back and forth across the floor, trying to put the pieces together. Mom had acted weird when she’d seen that photo on the computer, like there was something she needed to tell me. But she never said a word. She just acted like it was Scott in the photo, like they were a mom and dad holding their newborn in the hospital.
Mom and Scott never talked about Mark, and here he was holding me? It didn’t make any sense. Now that I thought about it, there was something strange about the fact that Scott never talked about his twin brother. I’d always figured it made him too sad, but now I wondered if there was more to the story.
A fireball burned in the pit of my stomach. Parents weren’t supposed to lie to their children. They weren’t supposed to keep secrets, and they weren’t supposed to act like things were one way when the truth was totally different.
Maybe Scott and Mom had gotten away with it for eleven years and ten months. But that didn’t mean I was going to let them get away with it for one day longer.
I yanked the bedroom door open and marched downstairs. When I got to the kitchen, Mom was in her usual spot, typing away on her laptop. All my noise hadn’t even put a dent in her concentration.
I stood behind her for a moment, taking deep breaths, wondering when she was going to notice me. Finally, I dropped the photo right on top of the keyboard.
There. That should get her attention.
“Sunny?” Mom’s fingers slipped off the keys. “What’s going on?”
“Maybe you should be telling me,” I said, proud that my voice came out strong and steady.
Mom picked up the photo and studied it for a moment. “Where did this come from?”
“Scott sent it. You’re the one who told me to ask him for old photos for my project, remember? Well, that’s one of the ones he sent. Go ahead, look at the back.”
Mom flipped it over and stared at the writing. Not that she needed to. She knew perfectly well what it would say.
“Why did you lie to me? You said it was Scott holding me.”
Mom didn’t reply. She flipped the photo back to the other side and stared at it, as if the photo might hold all the answers.
I dropped down onto the chair next to her and crossed my arms in front of my chest. “I’m waiting.”
“Oh, honey,” Mom finally said. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you about this for a long time. I never wanted you to find out this way.”
“There’s not much you can do about that now.” I kicked my foot against the table leg. “You said we needed to move to Bennetsville because you needed a change. But now I’m wondering what else you haven’t told me.”
Mom let out a long sigh. Then she nodded, snapping her laptop shut. She sat there for a moment, like she was trying to figure out the right thing to say.
Just spit it out already! I wanted to yell at her. Instead, I sat there, drumming my fingernails against the tabletop.
“Okay,” Mom finally said. “I guess I should start at the beginning. Back when I first met Scott … and Mark, in college.”
“I always thought you and Scott had been dating since college. I guess you were lying about that, too.”
“Now hold on a minute,” Mom said. “I told you we met in college. I never said we started dating right away—”
“Same thing. You were lying. About that and the photo.”
“Scott and I did go out a couple of times in college.” Mom must have decided she was suddenly thirsty, because she got up to pour herself a tall glass of water. Then she sat back down, swallowing half of it in large gulps.
“And?”
“And … as I got to know Mark better, we fell in love.”
“And you just forgot to tell me?”
“It didn’t seem like something you needed to know. Past history, and all that.”
“What happened next?”
Mom continued talking, telling me how she and Mark dated for years after college, how they talked about getting married, but she wanted to have children and Mark didn’t.
“Then what?” I interrupted. “If he didn’t want kids, why was he holding me in the hospital?”
“He changed his mind.”
“About having kids?”
Mom’s eyes were shining when she nodded. “He moved in with me a few weeks after you were born to help out, and he fell in love with you. We started talking again about getting married, about putting
his name on the adoption papers … and then, when you were three months old, he was killed in a car crash.”
Silence filled the space between us. Mom took another swig of her water.
“Is that when you started dating Scott again? Right after Mark died?”
Mom shook her head slowly. “Scott and I were friends—best friends like we’d always been. He stepped right in to help out when you were a baby, like he was your dad even though he didn’t live with us. And a couple of years later, when I decided to adopt Autumn, he was right there with me, even if his name wasn’t on the adoption papers.”
“But you were a couple when you adopted Autumn, right?”
“We dated on and off …”
“And then what?”
“We tried, Sunny. We really did, until you were about ten.”
Mom’s words were spinning like a tornado in my head. “You’re always saying me and Autumn should tell the truth. But you’ve been lying to us this whole time.”
Mom shook her head. “Not the whole time. We dated for a while—”
“You didn’t tell me the whole truth.” I balled my hands into fists, clenching so tightly that my nails dug into my skin. Two years. Two whole years! And, even before that, they had tried “on and off,” always pretending they were a couple and like they’d been together forever. Nothing about Mom and Scott was the way it seemed. Nothing! I stood up and slammed my chair against the table. “How could you do it? You never told me about Mark, you lied about the photo, you lied to me about everything!”
“Oh, Sunny,” Mom said. “We never meant to hurt you. This doesn’t change anything.”
“It changes everything!” I yelled as I stormed out of the room.
“Sunny, please.” Mom started up the steps behind me, but I raced to my room, slamming the door behind me. I heard her footsteps stop outside the door. There was a long pause, as if she was trying to figure out what to do next. She didn’t knock or call out again, and soon I heard her footsteps fade away as she headed down the hall.
I threw myself down on the bed. Everything Mom had told me swirled around inside, faster and faster. I tried to make my mind blank. I pictured a calm lake, but tidal waves kept taking over the image in my mind.
Why had my mom adopted me anyway, when she knew she couldn’t count on a dad to help? Was she lonely, and only thinking of herself? Maybe this was why she kept that quote above her desk, “To thine own self be true.” Maybe it only meant that she was thinking about herself above everyone else.
As I thought more about it, I tried to figure out why she adopted a second baby when she was so mixed up about who she wanted to be with. Didn’t she ever stop to think that children needed two parents who were committed to staying together?
And what about Scott? If he loved me the way he said he did, why wasn’t his name on those adoption papers?
Now, there was nothing linking Mom and Dad and me and Autumn together.
I felt like someone had pushed me out of a spaceship and I was floating around in the atmosphere, nothing tying me to Earth.
A little while later, there was a knock on my door. “Sunny? Scott’s on the phone. He wants to talk to you.”
I didn’t get up. “Tell him I don’t feel like talking.”
“Come on, honey.” Mom’s voice was soft. “Please open the door.” I didn’t answer. I didn’t move.
Unfortunately, Grandma Grace didn’t believe in locks, so Mom opened the door. “I know how upset you are,” she said, sitting down next to me on the bed. “If you won’t talk to me, then you should talk to Scott. He feels terrible about everything.”
“I’m not talking,” I said again. Then I rolled over and faced the wall.
Mom squeezed my shoulder. “Tomorrow, then?”
I shrugged.
“She’ll talk tomorrow, Scott,” Mom said into the phone. “Okay … sure … I’ll tell her. All right, bye.” Mom turned to me. “Scott said to tell you he loves you. And I love you, too. You know that, right?”
I shrugged again.
“Things will look better in the morning.” Mom’s voice had taken on a fake-cheery tone. She rose and left the room, closing the door quietly behind her.
A few minutes later, I got up, pulling my notebook out of the drawer. I stared down at “Sunny’s Super-Stupendous Plan to Get Mom and Dad Back Together.” What a joke.
I tore out the pages, ripping them into little pieces. They fluttered their way into the trash can, my totally awesome plan destroyed with a single photo, along with my dreams of the family I thought I had.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Hot, fresh cinnamon rolls, coming right up!” Grandma Grace said, putting a plate full of rolls on the table as I made my way into the kitchen the next morning.
I glanced over at my grandmother, then at my mom. Grandma Grace never made breakfast for us during the week, and we never had something fancy like cinnamon rolls.
“Mmm, yumm!” Autumn said, bouncing up and down in her seat. “Wow, thanks, Grandma!”
I watched as my sister reached for a warm roll, licking the icing off her fingers.
“Your grandmother thought you might need a special treat this morning,” Mom said, squeezing my shoulder.
I shrugged away her hand. Did Mom really think that a special breakfast would make everything better between us? A cinnamon roll was certainly not going to change the fact that Mom and Scott had lied to me all my life, and that my whole reality had shifted.
“Ooh, my favorite!” Autumn said, taking a bite.
I shot my mom a dirty look. I couldn’t believe she had told my grandmother about the photo. The last thing I needed was for Grandma Grace to be nosing around in our family business. That was private, between me and Mom and Scott. The only other person Mom needed to tell was Autumn, but it was clear she hadn’t said a word to her.
“Well, I’m not hungry,” I said, getting up from the table.
“What’s wrong?” Autumn asked as I left the room. “I thought you loved cinnamon rolls, Sunny!”
I just shook my head without looking at any of them. The sugary sweet smell made my stomach rumble, but as I thought about the photo I was only left with a bitter taste in my mouth.
***
“Methinks Mom and Scott have been practicing the art of deception,” I told Ripple in the yard after the OM meeting Wednesday afternoon. Jalia had brought in one of Shakespeare’s plays and we all had to sit there and watch it for fifteen minutes, “no matter how much you moan and groan,” Coach Baker had said. He told us it was important for us to hear the way the characters spoke so we could work some of the language into our script.
Turns out the language was kind of fun to play around with. I ran my hand over Ripple’s fur. She’d been showing up more often, waiting for me. Maybe the other people had stopped feeding her. Or maybe, just maybe, she’d decided she was mine.
I stood up and put my hand over my heart. “Something is rotten in the state of Denmark!” Ripple purred as she rubbed up against me.
“Okay, not Denmark exactly. That’s just a Shakespeare quote that Lydia pulled up. But something is definitely fishy in the state of North Carolina. Can you believe Mom and Scott have been lying to me? I don’t trust either of them.
“I’m madder at Mom than I am at Scott, but that’s just because this is all her fault. It wasn’t Scott’s idea to split up the family.” Ripple rolled over on her belly and let me scratch her under her chin.
“But I’m mad at Scott, too.” Scott had called every night since I found out about the photo, but I’d refused to talk to him. What was the point? He wouldn’t be able to tell me anything different. I knew not talking to me was killing him, but I didn’t care. Let him feel awful, just like I did.
“He lied to me just like Mom did. Plus, he never signed my adoption papers, so what does that tell you?” Ripple stretched and purred. She was a pretty good listener as long as I kept petting her. I told her the whole story. Ripple didn’t have any advice,
so after she finished off the plate of tuna I got up and went inside.
I sat at my desk staring at my math assignment for a while, not doing any of the problems. My math teacher, Mr. Lioni, always told us that the good thing about math is you can’t argue with logic. If you did the problems right, you got the right answer.
Not like real life, where sometimes things didn’t add up and everyone came to different conclusions. I closed my eyes for a minute, trying to sort it all out. Snapshots formed in my mind: Mom, Dad, Autumn, and me … laughing and hugging, together the way I wanted us to be.
I slammed my math book shut. I still had my own dreams, even if things had changed.
It was time to finish Mom’s present. Not that she deserved one this year, but her birthday was next week and I figured it couldn’t hurt to remind her she once had a family. A real one, with two kids, a mom, and a dad.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
There are quite a few cars parked out on the street,” Mom said as she pulled up in front of Lydia’s house the next night. “Are you sure your OM team is meeting again tonight? I thought you were meeting this weekend.”
“We had to add an extra day since we have so much work to do,” I said as I got out of the car. “I’ll call you when it’s over.”
“Okay. See you later. Love you!”
I didn’t say it back. You couldn’t tell your daughter that you’d been lying to her for years and expect things to go back the way they were before. Mom wanted to act like everything was perfectly normal. Well, too bad for her.
I stood on the curb and watched as Mom drove off. If she could have secrets, then I could, too.
“Sunny?” Lydia’s eyes were wide when she saw me at the front door. “What are you doing here?”
“I saw the flyer about the animal rights meeting. I hope it’s okay.”
Lydia stared at me. “You want to join our animal rights protest? Where’d you see the flyer?”
Call Me Sunflower Page 10
