“First at your store, then in the basement—”
“You were snooping around?”
I shook my head, then looked down at the floor. Maybe this was a stupid idea, just like all my stupid ideas to get my parents back together. A protest wasn’t going to change my grandmother’s mind about her fur store, and coming to the meeting wasn’t going to change Lydia’s mind about me. “I—I thought it was open to anyone. I can call my mom, if you want.”
Lydia shook her head and grabbed me by the wrist. “Come on!” she said as she led me downstairs. “Now I won’t be the only kid here.”
It wasn’t the warmest welcome I’d ever been given, but I took it. In the basement, around ten people stood talking and eating the snacks that Lydia’s mom had laid out on the coffee table. “Hey, everyone,” Lydia said. “This is Sunny.”
All the grown-ups turned and stared at me. If it were up to me, I’d have dropped right through the middle of the floor. But the grown-ups seemed friendly enough; most of them smiled or waved. Lydia handed me a name tag and a cup of cider. I was helping myself to some vegetables and dip when Mrs. Applebaum asked everyone to sit down so we could start the meeting.
“Welcome to the Bennetsville chapter of the North Carolina Network for Animals. It’s so good to see all of you!” She looked around at everyone, then turned to her chart paper. “Let’s begin by brainstorming all of the issues you’re particularly interested in tackling this year. Next, we’ll focus on our plans for Fur-Free Friday, which takes place at the end of next month.”
My ears wiggled when she said Fur-Free Friday. Hurry up and talk about the protest already! It was all I could think about while Lydia’s mom wrote things down on the board.
After she filled up the chart, she said, “As you can see, we have a lot to work on. That means we need to focus on recruiting new members.”
I sighed louder than I’d meant to. During the boring discussion about membership, I got up to refill my snack plate. By the time I sat back down, Mrs. Applebaum had finally gotten around to what I’d been waiting for: Fur-Free Friday.
“We’ll meet at noon on Carson Boulevard, the side near Luxury Furs and Leathers.”
My heart took a leap.
“If you’ve never been in a protest before, remember to keep walking back and forth. Also, you can’t step foot on the sidewalk in front of the store. That’s private property.”
“How will the owner see us if we’re out on the main street instead of on the mall sidewalk?” someone asked.
“Oh, she’ll see us, all right,” Mrs. Applebaum said. “More importantly, customers will see us as they turn off the main road into the shopping center.”
Everyone started talking about what would happen at the protest, and the rest of the meeting was spent organizing committees to get the word out. Mrs. Applebaum said she’d contact the police and write up the press releases. “A sizable crowd would make our statement a lot stronger. Tell all your friends, and we need to post notices now to let people know about this protest.”
I called Mom as soon as the meeting was over. I took the phone upstairs to the kitchen so she wouldn’t hear all the noise. Those animal rights people sure liked to talk and talk. The meeting had lasted longer than I expected, and I was afraid she was going to get suspicious.
“I’m already in the driveway,” Mom said. “I was about to come to the door and get you.”
“I’ll be right out,” I told her, handing the phone to Lydia, who had followed me up the steps.
“Are you really going to come to the protest?”
I shrugged. “I don’t think Mom will let me.”
“Hey, I’ve got an idea! You can be the one to dress up in the animal costume. No one will ever know it’s you.”
“I don’t know,” I said, but the wheels in my mind were already turning. “I mean, I just came to the meeting to see what it was all about.”
“You should do it, Sunny. If you really want to speak up for the animals.”
“I’ll think about it,” I said as I opened the front door.
“I’m glad you came to the meeting,” Lydia said.
I turned to her and smiled. “Me, too.”
Mom honked the horn and I raced outside. “It’s almost nine o’clock,” she said as soon I got in the car. “Pretty late for a meeting on a school night, don’t you think?”
I shrugged. “We were in the middle of something so Coach Baker let us keep working.”
Mom gave me a good, hard look. “Sunny, are you telling me the truth?”
“Of course,” I said. Mom had lied to me, so I could lie right back. But I couldn’t shut off the little voice in the back of my head saying, Another lie? What’s wrong with you? First you lied to Jessie about the OM meeting. You’re not telling Lydia the truth about your grandmother … and now you’re sneaking out to go to an animal rights meeting without telling your mom. You better, fess up before it’s too late….
“I didn’t see any other kids being picked up.”
“I’m the last one,” I said, trying to shut off that voice in my head. Just then a couple of people came out of the house, talking and laughing. And they weren’t kids.
“So who are they? And why are all these cars parked in front of the house?”
“I don’t know. We were downstairs working. Maybe Lydia’s mom had some friends over or something.”
Mom raised her eyebrows at me, like she wasn’t going for it. I put on the playlist I’d made for her and turned up the volume. That’s when Mom’s phone rang.
“Jeb? Hi!” Her voice went up two or three octaves as a man’s voice came over the speakers. She didn’t seem to notice that she’d turned off Scott’s “Songs of Love” playlist, just so she could talk to some strange guy.
Not that any of that mattered anymore.
I listened in on the conversation, but even though Mom sounded excited to be talking to Jeb, it was all about pacing and character arcs and soon I tuned her out.
The only good thing about the phone call was that Mom was so busy, I was able to jump out and run inside while she was still talking about plot.
***
I could tell Scott felt bad about what had happened as soon as I picked up the phone on Friday evening. It was our regular night to talk, so I figured I’d frozen him out long enough.
Scott’s voice was soft and a little uncertain, like he wasn’t sure what to say even though I knew he’d been thinking about it for days. He waited for me to speak, and when I didn’t, he cleared his throat. “I’m really sorry, Sunny. I don’t know how that photo got in there. I didn’t want you to find out this way.”
“Mom said the same thing.”
“I know, honey. We should have told you the truth sooner—”
“So why didn’t you?”
Scott paused. “I guess—well, it’s something that happened in the past. Just because Mark was there when you were born doesn’t change the fact that we’ve been together as a family since you were a little girl.”
“Pretending to be a family,” I corrected him. “Just like you and Mom were pretending to be boyfriend and girlfriend.”
“Now, hold on a second. We’ve never pretended anything. Maybe our family is different from others—”
“Way different. Abnormally different. We never even lived in the same house, and now we’re not even living in the same state!”
“Having separate homes didn’t seem to matter. Before you moved to North Carolina, we spent a lot of time together—”
“Well, we’re not spending much time together now.”
“Your mom needed a change—”
“You guys keep saying that, but you’re just making excuses! You told us we were moving because Mom wanted to go back to school when that was only part of the story. And telling part of the story is the same as a lie, so you lied to us more than once. Multiple times.” I let out a big breath, right into the phone.
Scott’s voice got quiet. “I can’t tell you ho
w sorry I am that we didn’t have an honest talk with you before the move. Everything just seemed to be happening so fast. We were so busy working out details about what was going to happen next that we didn’t stop to think about what was happening to you and Autumn, the people we cared more about than anyone else in the world.”
“You didn’t try to stop her. If you really cared that much about us, you wouldn’t have let us go.”
“Oh, Sunflower. You know when your mom makes her mind up about something, there’s no stopping her.”
I thought about that for a minute, remembering how things between Mom and Scott had changed over the summer. They’d never argued in front of us, but being around them hadn’t felt comfortable, the way it always had. It was like there was a string stretching between them, and it was pulled so tight it could have snapped at any second. I thought it was because they were breaking up, but maybe it was really because Scott was afraid of losing us. “You didn’t want us to go, did you?” I asked.
“Of course not. But I couldn’t get in the way of your mom’s dreams.”
What about my dreams? My dreams for us to be one big family in a place that was already home? Why did my dreams—and Autumn’s, too—count for less than Mom’s?
“Look, the most important thing is that I love you. I love you and Autumn as much as any dad could love his daughters.”
I shrugged. Tears stung my eyes. What about you and Mom? I wanted to ask. But the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle were beginning to fit into place. I’d suspected it since Mom told me about the photo, but talking to Scott made it more clear. He was the one who had stepped in after Mark died. He’s the one who had always put Mom first. And now that I thought of it, Mom had never looked at Scott the same way he looked at her. Mom had been in love with Mark, and Scott had tried to help, but he couldn’t take Mark’s place. Maybe that’s why he never talked about his twin brother.
Love was way more complicated than it seemed in Disney movies.
“After Mark died,” Scott continued, “we decided we were going to stay together, to help each other out and to be there for you, no matter what.”
“What about now?” I asked. “Mom won’t tell me what’s going to happen when she finishes her degree, and now that things are different—”
“The only thing that’s different is that you know more about the situation than you did a week ago. Two years is a long way off. In the meantime, I’ll be there at Christmas, and you can spend a few weeks with me next summer …” I stopped listening as Scott started listing all the fun things we’d do when we got together. Two words echoed in my head: two years.
Two years was a long way off. In two years, I’d be almost fourteen. Practically grown up. My mind reeled thinking of everything that could happen.
Mom could start dating Jeb (ugh) or some other guy from her writing classes, or even worse, some “old flame.” She could get offered a job at a college in North Carolina, or somewhere across the country, and we’d move even farther away.
Scott could meet someone else who was going back to college like he was, or he could start dating a customer at the bookstore. Scott could end up with someone with kids. Presto! Bingo! He’d have a totally new family.
And where did all that leave me? Scott had never adopted me, and since Mom and Scott weren’t married, there’d be no custody agreement like there was with my friend Madeline when her parents got divorced. No guaranteed visits. As Scott moved on with his new life there’d be fewer and fewer phone calls and emails, since he’d assume we were moving on with our new lives, too, in Nebraska or Alaska or wherever Mom decided to go.
A little more time would pass, and then poof! I’d disappear from Scott’s thoughts completely, leaving only a shadow behind.
Just like a photo in an album.
There was only one way to guarantee I wouldn’t disappear from my dad’s life: I had to find a way to make Mom move us back to New Jersey where he couldn’t forget about me.
And I wasn’t waiting two years to do it.
CHAPTER TWENTY
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Witches and Goblins and Ghosts, Oh My!
What are you going to be for Halloween this year? I’m dressing up as a witch again. My hat still fits, but my dress is getting a little tight and way too short. Mom says it’s the last year I can wear it because it’s totally inappropriate. Hahahaha!
Miss you,
Maddy
P.S. Stellaluna is doing great.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Re: Witches and Goblins and Ghosts, Oh My!
I’m dressing up as a witch, too.
Miss you,
Sunny
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Thanks for the photo, Sunny! Your mom must have had fun signing up for Glamour Shots.
You know what I’d really like? A photo of you and Autumn outside your new house. I could hang it up at work so I could look at your faces whenever I want to.
Love,
Scott
***
“So, what did your dad say about the photo?” Jessie asked me in art class. “I bet he can’t stop looking at her, right?”
I shrugged. As much as I liked Jessie, I wasn’t about to try to explain everything to her. Like Mom said, it was complicated.
“Well? Did you send it to him?”
“Sure,” I said. I’d told Mom I needed to send something to Madeline, and she’d taken me to the post office the Monday after we did the makeover. By the time Scott received it, though, everything had already fallen apart. “He didn’t have much to say about it.”
“Oh.” Jessie put down her pencil and looked up at me. “Maybe he’s just keeping it to himself right now.”
“Maybe. Thanks for doing the makeover, anyway.”
Jessie squeezed my wrist. “Your mom’s really pretty. I bet he’ll come around,” she said, but her voice didn’t sound as confident as it usually did. She’d seen with her own parents that there wasn’t much kids could do when it came to making their parents fall in love.
We worked in silence for a while, drawing pieces of popcorn Ms. Rusgo had placed on red cloth at the front of the room.
“You want to come over on Wednesday?” Jessie asked a few minutes later. “We can do something besides makeovers.”
“Wednesday? I have Odyssey of the Mind practice after school. How about Thursday?”
Jessie shook her head. “Can’t. Tomorrow I have dance, and cheerleading tryouts are Thursday and Friday.”
“Maybe another time, then?” I said.
“Maybe,” Jessie replied. “But I might be pretty busy from now on. Everyone thinks I’m going to make the team, and we have practice every day after school!”
***
Grandma Grace was frosting a three-layer cake when we got home after the OM meeting on Wednesday. “Mmm, something smells good,” I said, taking in a big whiff of sugary air.
“Is it my favorite?” Mom stuck a finger in the frosting. “Hummingbird cake?”
“Of course,” Grandma Grace said with a smile. “Did you think I’d forget?”
After dinner I had my first taste of hummingbird cake, which was full of stuff like pineapple, bananas, and cinnamon, topped with cream cheese frosting. I liked chocolate better, but Mom took a bite and said, “Oh, this is heavenly.”
When it was time to open presents, I held on to mine even though it didn’t matter anymore. “Open it last,” I said, so Mom tore into the other gifts: some pottery Autumn had made in school, a book called How to Write the Breakout Novel from Scott, and a leather purse from Grandma Grace.
“Of course I know you’ll never wear a fur coat,” Grandma Grace said to my mom, “but I thought you might like this purse. It’s a designer bag, from Italy.”
“Thanks, Mom. I’ve never had anything quite so … expensive
-looking.” She ran her fingers across it.
“It won’t fall apart after a couple of months, like your other handbags,” Grandma Grace said. She was probably right about that. Mom liked to carry these bags made of velvet or cloth. When the straps fell off she’d safety pin them together until the zippers broke, and then it was time to get a new purse.
“Hey, did you get anything from your secret admirer?” Autumn asked. “I bet he remembered it was your birthday.”
Mom shook her head. “Nope, not a thing. Not even a flower on the doorstep.”
I bit my lip and looked down at the gift-wrapped photo album in my lap. Would they ever guess the flowers were from me?
“Oh, look!” Mom picked up a card from the table, and I was relieved she’d changed the subject. The last thing I felt like talking about was her secret admirer. “It’s from Scott.” When she opened it up, his voice surrounded us.
“Hey, it’s one of those singing cards!” Autumn said. “How’d he do that?”
“Let me see,” I said, reaching for the card.
“He recorded his own voice,” Mom said as Scott sang a James Taylor tune and played guitar. I watched Mom and, for a moment, I thought I caught a faraway look in her eyes. But it flickered away, and the next thing I knew she was reaching for my present.
She tore off the wrapping paper and stared down at the cover, where I’d written: Our Lives by Sunny Beringer. Mom looked up at me. “You put together a photo album for my birthday?”
I nodded. “All our photos are on the computer. We didn’t even bring any of the old albums with us.”
“Oh, I love it!” Mom said, flipping through the pages.
“I thought you were printing the pictures for a school project,” Autumn said.
“It was supposed to be a surprise.”
“Well, it certainly is,” Mom said, and I could see she was still trying to figure it all out.
“There are some really old ones in there,” I told her. “Scott sent me a bunch of pictures.”
Mom’s eyes caught mine for a second, and I knew she was thinking about the one in the hospital. I watched as she flipped back through the pages. “It’s been years since I’ve seen some of these pictures,” she said when she got to the end. “What made you decide to tackle a project like this one?”
Call Me Sunflower Page 11
