United States of Love: HarperImpulse Contemporary Romance

by Sue Fortin

  Luke straightened up in his chair, a fleeting look of intrigue on his face, quickly disguised by a disinterested one. ‘Suppose so.’

  Tex strummed the strings once, picked his place on the neck for his fingers and strummed again. A small twist of one of the tuning heads. A chord. Another slight adjustment. Finally seemingly happy with the tuning, he began to play. Luke watched Tex, his face relaxing from the tight jaw and cross eyebrows.

  ‘Oasis,’ Luke said, shifting in his seat, his attention apparently caught. Tex carried on playing, half humming, half singing the words.

  Tex ground to a halt, plucking at the strings as he found the notes he was looking for. He struck up again. This time a more upbeat song.

  ‘Pulp. Common People,’ said Luke after just a few bars.

  ‘I'm impressed,’ said Tex as he continued to play. ‘Didn't think you'd know who Pulp are.’

  ‘Likewise.’ Luke raised his eyebrows. He gestured towards the guitar.

  Tex gave him a small smile as he passed the guitar over. Cocky bugger, as Jamie would say.

  ‘Luke's got a wide taste in music,’ said Anna, sitting on the arm of Tex's chair while Luke played for Tex. ‘He likes all the older stuff. Him and Nathan love their music.’

  ‘How come you know all this English music if you're American?’ asked Luke after he finished his last song and then played a scale up and down.

  ‘Training and working in France, there was always plenty of British music. I was in the UK for a few years in the late nineties when the Brit Pop scene was quite new,’ explained Tex, relieved that they had finally found some common ground. It was a start if nothing else. Anna seemed to have relaxed a bit as well.

  ‘Okay, I bet you won't know this one,’ challenged Luke, beginning another song. As Tex listened, a small smile twitched at the corners of his mouth.

  ‘That's The Undertakers. Can't remember the title of the song though.’ Tex tapped his foot in time to the beat.

  ‘Death Watch,’ replied Luke, a small look of victory on his face.

  ‘Arh yes. The Undertakers came into the restaurant I was working at one night. They were on tour, just played at a small punk-rock club around the corner.’

  Luke stopped playing, his eyes wide. ‘No way!’

  Tex shook his head and chuckled. ‘They were crazy. Definitely very drunk and probably stoned. Before they had even finished their starters, they began a food fight across the table at each other. They ended up throwing bread rolls at the other diners.’

  ‘That Kenny was mad. Nathan's told me about him before.’ Luke was grinning as he spoke.

  Seizing the moment, Tex went on to tell him some more antics that Kenny and The Undertakers had got up to, plus a few other stories of misbehaving guests, some of them famous. By the end, Luke was laughing along with him.

  With no more stories to tell and a silence between them, Luke instantly reverted back to morose teenager mode. Tex sighed to himself although unfazed by the sudden change in attitude. Teenage prerogative.

  ‘I'm knackered,’ said Luke, standing up. ‘Going up to my room for a bit. See ya.’

  ‘Thank you and sorry,’ groaned Anna once Luke was upstairs.

  ‘No need for either,’ smiled Tex, squeezing Anna's hand. ‘Don't take this the wrong way, but it's probably a good time for me to leave. Give Luke a bit of space.’

  ‘And you.’ Anna was trying to sound flippant and light-hearted although Tex could tell she was anything but. Was he really that transparent to her? Could she tell that Luke had annoyed him immensely? That kid was a pain in the butt, for sure, but in a funny way Tex thought it was quite admirable of Luke to be loyal to his dad. However, Tex really didn’t need this sort of aggravation in a relationship. In fact, did he even need this relationship? It would only end like all the others once the novelty wore off. And Anna was a novelty, right?

  She wasn’t a fool. She had seen it in his eyes. Annoyance. Irritation. Testiness. She couldn’t blame him. Luke hadn’t exactly made Tex feel welcome, in fact, he had seemed to relish in being objectionable from the start. Tex had coped admirably with Mark being around but maybe Luke was just that bit too far. Maybe Tex thought, and quite rightly so, that a mother’s bond to her child was far greater than a wife’s bond to her once husband. Sitting down on the sofa with a sandwich, Anna wondered whether Tex would bother ringing her again. Maybe this was the end. The tears that spiked the back of her eyes surprised her. She didn’t want it to be the end.

  ‘Has he gone?’ Luke appeared at the bottom of the stairs.

  ‘If you mean Tex, then yes, he’s gone.’ She blinked hard to banish the tears.

  ‘So you are seeing him then? I thought you said you’d tell me.’ He didn’t tamper the accusational tone.

  ‘Come and sit down.’ Anna put her plate on the coffee table, her sandwich barely touched, and gave Luke a small unreciprocated smile. Nevertheless, he sat down on the sofa, arms folded. ‘Luke, up until now, there really hasn’t been much to tell. I needed to be sure this was what I wanted before I brought you into it.’

  ‘I’m sixteen, not six,’ said Luke. ‘I’m not stupid enough that I think he’s going to be my new dad just because you’ve been out with him a few times. It would have been nice just to be warned a bit before I come home and he’s sat here.’

  Anna couldn’t argue with that. He had a fair point. ‘I’m sorry. You’re right. I should have told you. But Tex staying was just a spur of the moment thing.’

  Luke held up his hand. ‘Too much information. I get the idea.’ He gave her a small smile and raised his eyebrows slightly.

  ‘Yes, okay. Sorry.’ Anna could feel herself getting flustered. Some things a mother should just not discuss with her teenage son, no matter how well they got on.

  ‘When’s Dad coming back?’

  The sudden change of direction flawed her for a moment. ‘Erm, I’m not sure. Why? Are you missing him?’

  Luke nodded. ‘A bit, well, quite a bit actually. It’s been strange getting to know him all over again, but he’s been like a totally different person. Better, if you like.’

  ‘I’m pleased for you,’ replied Anna. What could she say? She couldn’t exactly refute this with details of Mark’s blackmailing scheme. That was definitely something she wouldn’t be sharing with her son.

  ‘Don’t you think he’s changed, Mum?’

  Anna swallowed hard. How to answer this tactfully? ‘He definitely appears to have changed with you and I am genuinely pleased.’ She gave Luke’s hand a squeeze. ‘I really am.’

  ‘But he’s not changed enough for you,’ stated Luke glumly.

  Tex’s morning jog with Nathan was fast turning into a full-on run. Tex pounded the sidewalk with his feet as he pushed himself harder, trying to work the frustration of the past few days out of his system, together with the cause of it.

  It was now Wednesday and he hadn’t contacted Anna since the weekend. It had taken a supreme act of discipline on his part. Several times he had nearly called her, had even got as far as bringing her contact details up on his phone, but he had resisted pushing the ‘call’ button. She was complicated. Her situation was complicated. He didn’t do complicated.

  Despite this mantra, Tex hadn’t been able to exile her from his thoughts. Damn it! She had even invaded his dream last night.

  ‘Let’s just slow it down now,’ urged Nathan as they approached the bottom of the hill in the High Street.

  Tex obliged, although he knew the steep incline of the hill would have done the job anyway. Tex could feel the strain biting into the back of his calf muscles and tried to focus on that rather than on Anna. Reaching the top of the hill, they rounded the corner, passing by one of the entrances to Arundel Castle. Distracted, Tex didn’t see the man hurrying out of the castle entrance.

  ‘Ouf! Sorry. Oh, it’s you.’ He had run straight into the weasel-like curator who was carrying a tin of paint, the green drips of liquid smeared down the side. Tex looked down at his t-shirt.
Great, now he had a weird green pattern in the middle of it. ‘You wanna watch where you’re going with that,’ Tex said, looking back up at Andy.

  ‘You’re the one running hell for leather up the hill and not looking out for pedestrians,’ Andy snapped back.

  ‘What you doing just wandering round with a tin of paint anyway?’ Tex went to wipe his shirt, then noticing Andy’s paint stained fingers, thought better of it.

  ‘Not that it’s any business of yours, but I’m just taking it to Brian at the tea rooms. I borrowed it from him.’ The curator scowled.

  ‘You didn’t happen to borrow some petrol too?’ Tex watched Andy’s face for any flicker of guilt.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Forget it.’

  ‘Well, if you don’t mind, some of us have work to do.’

  Tex watched him go. ‘That guy does nothing to change my opinion of him.’

  ‘Which is?’ enquired Nathan.

  ‘Total jerk.’ With that, Tex began running again.

  ‘You all right today?’ asked Nathan, catching up.

  Tex shot him a sideways look and was met by the same green eyes as those of Nathan’s sister. Was there no getting away from her? ‘I’m okay. Just have a lot of things to think about,’ he offered by way of an explanation.

  ‘Nothing to do with my sister then?’

  Stepping off the path to avoid an elderly lady walking along with her dog, gave Tex a few seconds before responding, ‘What makes you say that?’

  ‘Just wondered. I saw her yesterday and she seemed a bit fed up. Just putting two and two together.’

  ‘She’s worried about you,’ said Tex. Okay, that was unnecessary but it deflected the conversation away from himself and Anna. He slowed down to match Nathan’s pace.

  ‘Worried about me? Why’s that then?’ replied Nathan.

  ‘You and Christine.’

  Nathan stopped running. ‘She collared me about it at the ball and I’ll tell you what I told her. I went with Christine as a favour. She had a spare ticket and didn’t want to go on her own. She’s my client, that’s all. Everything is professional and above board. Just the way a client relationship should be.’ He raised an eyebrow to go with the challenging look he offered Tex, who continued to jog on the spot.

  Despite himself, Tex grinned. ‘Good. Now what’s that saying? Something about doing what I do, not what I say?’

  For a moment he wasn’t sure if Nathan appreciated his joke, but the other man’s shoulders relaxed and a wry smile showed itself. ‘Don’t do as I do, do as I say.’ Then the smile made way for a serious look. ‘Anna could do without any more aggro in her life. Don’t mess her about if you’re not serious.’ Nathan held Tex’s gaze for a moment.

  Tex nodded. Message received and understood.

  Then Nathan was off and jogging again, urging Tex to keep up. Big brother chat apparently over.

  She was sitting on the steps to the apartment like a child locked out waiting for her mom to come home. Elbow resting on her knee, her hand cupping her chin, while her other hand fiddled with her phone. Tex felt his stomach knot. He had to admit he was relieved to see her there. He had finished his run with Nathan, who was now on his way to meet Christine for her workout. What that entailed Tex didn’t care to imagine. After his run and mini-chat with Nathan, Tex had resolved to speak to Anna. He was planning to call by the tea rooms where she should be working today. He needed to apologise. He was acting no better than a petulant teenager himself. His foot scuffed a stone and she looked up at him, a startled expression on her face, swiftly followed by… What? Embarrassment? Unease?

  She jumped to her feet, brushed her jeans down unnecessarily, her eyes locking with his.

  ‘Can we talk?’ she said at last.

  Normally those three words would set alarm bells ringing in Tex’s mind. It was never good when a woman wanted ‘to talk’. It usually meant they were after commitment, that the light-hearted days were coming to a close and more serious ones lay ahead. Tex was good at anticipating this point and bringing things to a close beforehand, but today he noted those feelings couldn’t be further away.

  ‘You’d better come in.’ He tapped in the passcode and swung the door open, letting her walk through first, the scent of her perfume drifting under his nose and triggering a whole host of involuntary reactions; his body tensing. It didn’t help that the lift was tiny, just big enough for the two of them. Being in such a confined space with her was sending serious adrenalin rushes to every extremity of his body. Finally, they were in Tex’s apartment and he could put a bit of physical space between them.

  ‘Do you wanna cup of tea?’ She shook her head and went to speak, but Tex cut in. ‘I need to take a shower first. Then we can talk.’

  The shower was good, cold, but it did the trick. It also gave him the thinking time he needed. He didn’t want things to end with Anna, he wasn’t ready for that yet. The idea of not seeing her again gnarled at his insides. He didn’t know what to make of himself or how one woman could have this effect on him. Then he realised that he hadn’t even thought about Estelle once in the past three days. The realisation stilled him. Rooted him to the spot. He mulled over his feelings and was even more surprised when he could find no guilt, not even if he tried to force it out of him. No, it just wasn’t there.

  All he felt was a need. It had been plaguing him all week and now he finally acknowledged, finally realised, that this need was for Anna. He needed her for his mind, body and soul. He also realised that just thinking about her meant he needed another shower. Another cold one.

  When he came out of the bedroom in his jeans and white t-shirt, bare feet and damp hair, Anna thought for one moment that the fizz of excitement would cause her to spontaneously combust. He looked so handsome. All she could do was stare at him while he stared back as he stood in the doorway. She heard herself swallow as her heart tried to throw in an extra beat. It sounded so loud, she was sure he could hear it too.

  She gathered her thoughts. Thoughts that had done nothing but circulate her mind since Sunday like a never-ending merry-go-round. She wasn’t entirely sure how she felt about him but she was sure that she had missed him and that she wanted to be with him. However, she didn’t want to need him. She had needed Mark for many, many years. Far too many. Now she didn’t want to have to need anyone again.

  She knew she had baggage, otherwise known as Mark, and to a certain extent Luke – the latter she couldn’t do anything about nor wanted to. She could make this work though. She could keep her relationship with Tex separate and avoid confrontations like that again.

  All she needed now was to know how Tex felt. Did he want her? He had problems of his own. He had never said outright, but she guessed his wife’s memory was never too far from his mind. She would just have to deal with that, as he would have to deal with Mark.

  Collecting her thoughts, she spoke. ‘I just wanted to know, well, to check, how things stand with us. I understand if you want to call things off. I mean, what with Mark and Luke, I know it’s not easy.’ She twiddled the rings on her fingers, still unable to draw her eyes from his.

  ‘Is it too difficult for you?’ he asked gently.

  She shook her head slightly. ‘No.’

  He took a few steps closer to her. Slowly. ‘Then if you can bear it, so can I.’ A few more steps nearer. ‘I’m sorry for walking out on you the other day. I’m afraid I’m not used to teenage boys who are protective of their mother. And their father. But I understand that now.’

  ‘I’m not asking anything of you, Tex. I know you have never…’ She paused, this was harder than she imagined, but it needed saying. ‘I know you have never got over the death of your wife. I’m not expecting commitment or anything like that. All I want is honesty.’

  He took the last few steps, closing the gap between them. Taking her hand in his, he kissed her palm, never looking away from her face. ‘That I can give you.’ He could just as easily have kissed her very soul, the sensation went to plac
es inside her she never knew even existed, the soft resonance of his voice caressing her when he said, ‘And I can honestly say that I want you.’

  She thought she heard him say ‘forever’ at the end, but she wasn’t sure and didn’t have time to consider it further, as she was engulfed in his arms, his mouth urgently seeking hers. She had her answer and she welcomed him in a way she had never dreamt she was capable of. Intense. Raw. Must-have.

  During the following weeks, while Mark was away in the States, Anna found herself happier than she had been for a long time.

  Although Tex was extremely busy organising the refurbishment of the new restaurant, interviewing staff and deciding on menus etc, together with keeping an eye on the Guildford restaurant, he seemed more than happy to make time for her. He had phoned her every day, sometimes two or three times on the odd days he hadn’t been able to see her. These phone calls made the days when she didn’t see him bearable.

  Her work was ticking over nicely. Jamie had a regular supply of clients for her and, encouraged by this, she had handed in her notice at the tea rooms. Brian had been disappointed to see her go but said he understood. It was sad saying goodbye to the staff there, but no doubt she would still see them in and around Arundel. Anna still kept her translation work going, it was a handy extra which she was mindful would help to support herself when the house was sold.

  Working for Jamie also had the benefit of seeing Tex on official business too. Today she had to attend a meeting with Tex and his restaurant manager. Apparently, Tex had told Jamie he needed her to help with the translation of the various CVs that had come in. As it turned out, Anna hadn’t actually been needed much, and after the manager had gone, Tex admitted to her that he had just used it as an excuse to see her.

  ‘I'm not sure whether to be flattered or not.’ Anna laughed. ‘You're paying Jamie for my services. It's like he's my pimp!’

  ‘Well then, I had better get my money’s worth.’ A mischievous glint flickered in Tex’s eyes as, nose to nose, he walked her backwards against the wall of his office, his hands now against the wall, either side of her head, barring her escape. Not that she had any intention of escaping. When he paused from kissing her, he nuzzled her neck, his hands cupping her face.