Fossegrim

by Mary E. Twomey

Then Foss pressed his lips against mine, slow and melty, filled with all the things I would never understand about him. This kiss wasn’t for show. It wasn’t passion, either. His kiss was something he wasn’t used to expressing. We both knew the right words would never come to him, but I felt it. Foss was grateful for me. I could feel the emotion in his kiss as he deepened the affection, caressing my face, neck and shoulder.

  It was wrong. I knew it then, even through my drunken haze. But that was us – all wrong.

  He didn’t rush the kiss or get too handsy. He didn’t want me like that, which was a good thing. He moved slowly, pausing every now and then to kiss my cheeks or forehead to show how much he appreciated me.

  It was two whole minutes before reason entered my brain. Two inexcusable minutes I hoped to forget by morning. I pulled back from Foss, pressing one more simple kiss to his lips that were growing eager. “Okay, I think that’s about all I can handle. You’re going to kick yourself in the morning for this. Or I will. We can’t do this. I’m buzzed, and you’re under the influence of fiddle Jiu-jitsu. Jens. I love Jens, and you hate me. I’m not ready to believe he’s dead yet,” I whispered. “But thank you for my necklace, Foss. Truly.”

  “Thank Jamie, but not like that,” he warned with a tease in his tone as he fought to recover himself. “He told me you were missing it and described it to me. I confess, I never paid much attention to your jewelry.” He shook his head to bring himself out of the fiddle’s seduction. “And don’t worry about Jens. He’s probably not dead. I’ve never known him to tolerate defeat.”

  I allowed him to kiss me once more, a small peck on the lips like old friends or people who have been married for decades do. “Thank you, Foss.”

  “Consider it a wedding present,” he joked. “Now will you sleep? I have to go back out and try to figure everything out with the chief and Tomas of the Hills.”

  “Sure.” I motioned between us with a heavy hand. “And this didn’t happen. I’m drunk and you’re drunk on fiddle music. We’re not us, so it didn’t happen, got it?”

  Foss looked relieved. “Smartest thing you’ve ever said.”

  “Here’s another gem. The chief’s bored with your Gar. If you want him nice and relaxed for your conversation about the portal, you have to keep the good stuff coming.”

  Foss could not hide how impressed he was with my helpful tip. “Not a bad wife, indeed,” he repeated. “I’ll see to it. I have another bottle of hundred-year-old oak-matured Gar.”

  “Sounds appropriately disgusting.” I laid down, my fist covering my Linus heart. Foss tucked the covers around my neck, and I almost forgave him for being such a tool most of the time.

  “I’ll be back with Jamie so he doesn’t make a fool of himself. Thanks for not embarrassing me tonight.” He touched his lips. “And thanks for… just thanks.”

  “Don’t mention it. Ever.” I gave him a weak fist bump before closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep.

  ***

  I had the strangest dream. Scissors cutting paper. Foss shaking me and yelling something… I don’t know. Something. Jamie was stumbling through Foss’s room, and the dream cut out again just as he was blacking out.

  Fourteen.

  Kirstie’s Parting Gift

  I awoke to the smell of Jens. It was the familiar scent of sugar cookies that made my spirits swell and swoon. I’d missed the smell of him so much, my heart hurt. When I opened my eyes, he was not there. Jens was probably dead, and the world still turned. The cookie smell was most likely Brenda making cookies in the kitchen in the middle of the night. I closed my eyes and fell back asleep to fend off Undraland a little while longer.

  When the door opened several hours later, I turned to see Foss coming in carrying a tray with tea, a crust of bread and a few pieces of the delicious blue fruit on it. He gave me a forced smile to answer my tired salute, slid the tray onto the table next to the bed and sat on the edge of the mattress, covering his face with his large hands. Something caught my attention, and I reached up to pull his palm away.

  I pointed at his black eye and silently asked how he’d acquired the shiner. No doubt his charming personality had something to do with it.

  “It’s a long story.”

  I moved to sit up, but he pushed my shoulder back into the sheets.

  “We have to talk. Actually, it’s probably best you’re not talking today, because you’re not going to like all of it.” He took a deep breath, and I waited for him to gather his thoughts. “Good stuff first? Yeah, how about the good stuff first.” He rubbed his palms together as he spoke. I could tell he was nervous. “The chief, Tomas and I talked all night about the portal, and the plan’s a go. You were right about breaking out the good Gar last night. Or maybe I didn’t even need to. I can’t believe just asking the chief actually worked. The chief’s been looking for a way to stick it to Pesta; he just didn’t think we’d go for something so radical. Plus, we needed the rake, which thanks to you, we have now.”

  My eyebrows rose. That was certainly a good thing. I rubbed the glass heart on my sternum, drawing comfort from having my brother in some way with me. Another portal would fall, and this time without so much bloodshed. Thoughts of Nik weighed heavy on my chest. As much as Foss and I had our differences, I didn’t want him to end up like that.

  “Tomas is onboard, provided anyone who wants to go to Be is allowed one last chance. Not ideal, but it’s fine. Olaf was against tearing the portal down at all, but he got outvoted. He’s not pleased, but the chief was pretty mad at him when the conversation started out, so he won’t cause a problem. Did I say thanks for saving my life?”

  I nodded, a hint of a smile touching my lips as I lay on the pillow.

  Despite the great news, Foss still wouldn’t look at me, nor did he appear relieved. “Okay. Now for the other stuff.” It was then I noticed small pellets of sweat forming on Foss’s forehead. “I shouldn’t have left you here alone when I went to go get Jamie. I should’ve been watching how much he was drinking. I should’ve done a lot of things different.”

  I gave him a shrug. We all should have done things different. No use being so upset about it.

  “Viggo warned me, but I didn’t pay attention. I was focused on the mission. I should have kept a better eye on Kirstie. Maybe explained things to her. I don’t know. Women are impossible.”

  I sat up and wrapped my arms around Foss. He was so distraught. I didn’t understand all of it, but it couldn’t be that bad. My neck felt weird, but I tried to focus my foggy brain on Foss for the moment.

  He stiffened, and then deflated in my embrace. “You should stop being nice to me. Your boyfriend’s already mad as a bull.” He indicated his black eye.

  Boyfriend? I guessed he meant Jamie. I wished he wouldn’t make jokes like that. Jamie and I had enough problems to work through without adding nonsense labels that didn’t apply to us.

  He cleared his throat. “And that kiss was just for show, you know. Not worth mentioning.”

  I nodded, shrugging as if to say, “no kidding.” We did not speak of the other kisses that happened in private. They felt like a distant dream, but in the back of my mind I could tell they were real. Both our eyes locked in on the blue fruit on the tray he brought me, and we swallowed thickly in unison at the memory of the juices he’d sucked off my lips.

  “So, we won’t mention it,” he confirmed, just as relieved as I was not to have to look further at the mess. He cleared his throat again, and I could tell he was nervous. “Viggo told me Kirstie wasn’t submitting to you as the lady of the house, but I didn’t want to deal with her.”

  When I pulled back, I noticed the letter H on his shirt written in charcoal. I rubbed it off as he took the tea and food off the shiny silver tray. My neck was itchy, but when I moved my hand to scratch it, my hair was not its usual maze to get through. Just the ends of my hair brushed against my fingers. My brows furrowed together as I gripped my hair, letting out a choked scream when I found almost a foot of my curl
s had been hacked away while I slept.

  Foss flipped the tray so I could see my reflection in the shiny surface. In black charcoal, I had “whore” written across my face, with half the H smudged from hugging Foss, who still could not look at me.

  “She snuck in here while I was corralling Jamie, who was behaving like a drunken fool. She cut off your hair and wrote that on your face.”

  I examined my reflection with shaking fingers. I’d never seen my face with “whore” on it before, but now I knew I’d never forget the sight. I’d never had short hair, either. I always wanted to know what I would look like with it, but my parents insisted I keep it long. Linus joked that if I cut it off, no one would be able to tell us apart.

  What was left of my mane was choppy and hung just past my chin, uneven and crazy looking. I looked completely mental. For the first time in who knows how long, I saw myself. Bags under my eyes, thinned out cheeks and dry skin with fear etched all over me. Everything about my appearance was unsettling, but the fear was disgusting. That wasn’t me.

  I needed a rag, water and scissors. I swung my legs off the bed, shorn strands of my hair flying in the air and fluttering to the floor.

  “I’m sorry, Lucy. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t in control of my household.”

  Though I was upset, Foss seemed more disturbed by my appearance than I was.

  “I put her out. Gave Kirstie to Olaf as a peace offering between our tribes. She won’t bother you anymore.”

  My mouth fell open, but I did not argue his decision. I guess I was lucky all she did was mutilate my hair. I stood before him, just a few inches taller even though he was sitting down. I placed my hand on his shoulder and waited until he met my eyes. I shrugged off the horror and offered him my best “whatcha gonna do” face.

  “Don’t be nice to me. Not after everything that’s happened. Kirstie stole the only good thing about you. You’re hideous now, and it’s my fault.”

  I flicked his ear for calling me hideous and reducing my worth to my looks. Then I went out to the kitchen to retrieve what I needed to clean myself up, ignoring Foss’s call to me that he was not done talking yet.

  I touched my Linus heart, relieved my brother was somewhat with me through the ordeal. I know it sounds dumb, but the necklace made it feel like part of Linus was still with me. It seemed everything would be a little easier to figure out now that I had him over my heart again.

  Erika was crying, actually crying about my hair and my face. That put things into perspective for me. I was getting upset over a bad haircut. There were worse things to cry about, so I saved my tears for a worse day. In Undraland, I was sure there’d be plenty to choose from.

  Brenda ordered me to sit down so ferociously, I didn’t dare disobey. She wiped off my face with a wet rag while Erika fetched me a new red dress that was less fancy, but still a notch above the brown house gowns the servants wore. She poured me some water and watched me drain the cup before letting me up.

  Erika accompanied me to the bath house, insisting on scrubbing me down. She was in a more delicate state than I was about the whole thing, her tears mingling with the water from the sponge she dripped down my back. Such drama. Sweet girl, but the whole thing was a little melodramatic for me.

  I took the shears I’d pocketed from the kitchen and went to work on what was left of my hair. Erika fetched the silver tray for me so I could see my reflection. It could have been a lot worse. My curls fell two inches below my chin, and I worked to add in layers so it hung even in parts and uneven in others. When I finished, I dipped in the water again to rinse off the stray follicles and dried myself off, marveling at how quick it was to towel-dry my hair. If I had some gel, I could’ve been a straight up rock star. I grinned at my reflection, unable to stop from admiring the stark difference the shorter look had on my whole appearance.

  This was a new start. This was a good thing. I would make it a good thing, so help me. There had been too much bad as it was.

  Erika slipped the red dress over my head, befuddled when I kissed her cheek. “You look happier than I’ve ever seen you. Why? Your hair is gone!”

  I ran my fingers through my tight curls, grinning at the lightness I felt all over my body. I kissed her other cheek, cheering her up as we walked back to the house. The servants regarded me with pity, some even looking away from my amazing new haircut as if they could not handle the horror.

  I went back to Foss’s room, which was empty. Foss was yelling at Jamie in Jamie’s room. My sheets had already been changed and my room swept, all evidence of the assault gone. I grinned and flopped on the crimson sheets, knowing that if my mother could see me now, she’d flip out and say something about a woman’s hair being her crowning glory.

  Now I’m a rock star. In a renaissance dress. I’m the shiz.

  “Hey, Moxie,” came a voice so dear to me, I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard it.

  The world and everything in it stopped when Jens materialized out of thin air in the middle of my room.

  Fifteen.

  Jens the Mermaid Slayer

  When words finally came to me, my voice was so out of practice that I coughed for like, a solid ten seconds before my throat felt confident enough for the task. “But you’re dead!” I rasped.

  He leaned against the wall in that casual way he had about him I always found sexy. “Why does everyone keep saying that?” His dimpled grin found me and breathed new life into my soul that had been flat lined since I left Nøkken. “Do you people really have that little faith in my ability to be awesome? You’ve seen me kill a Were and off those trolls, but you think a few mermen’ll slow me down?” He considered this, waving one hand in the air as he spoke. The motion was mesmerizing. “Well, they did slow me down, technically. But to jump to the conclusion that I died? Shameful. You’ve seen The Little Mermaid. I’m scarier than them.”

  I stood, my breath quickening as I took him in from boot to messy black hair, hoping beyond all I was that he was not a mirage conjured up by my rapidly fraying nerves. “We saw you go under and not come back up,” I argued. “We saw the big pool of blood around a body that looked like yours. They said, ‘fish out the other one’. That was you!”

  Jens shrugged. “I guess it wasn’t. Might’ve been the guy I accidentally offed. And by ‘accident’, I mean it was too easy to be on purpose.”

  All I could do was stare at him, mouth agape. There he was, in the flesh. This beautiful creature was back from the dead, leaning against my fake husband’s wall as if he didn’t have a care in the world. I’m sure there was a greeting card for this somewhere, but I was at a loss for words. “I… you… but the blood!”

  “Not me.” He moved forward, arms still crossed over his chest as he sized me up. He stood in front of me, legs further than shoulder-width apart so he was closer to my height. Jens stared into my eyes and said in his snarky way I’d missed, “You’re going to have to get used to the idea that I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me, Moxie Kincaid.” He ran his hand from my shoulder to my elbow. “Foxy Moxie in this dress.” His nose crinkled. “Give me a minute. I can think of something better.”

  “Shut up,” I ordered. I stood up on my toes, closing the gap between us. I was not willing to believe he was real until I tasted his mouth. Our long-awaited kiss was beautiful and painful and warm and slow. We melted in each other’s arms. The stoicism, the snark, the violence, the brave fronts – all of it evaporated as we fell back into the rhythm only we understood.

  The heat built from the embers of my confusion and transformed into a fire fueled by desperation. I had to convince myself he was real, that it wasn’t a dream now or one long nightmare I’d been living up until this point.

  “Shh,” he cooed between my frantic kisses. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m back.”

  “You don’t understand,” I breathed as I deepened the kiss, gently introducing my tongue to his. He moaned, and my body began to hum. “You don’t know what I’ve been through here.” I sucked on his
lower lip like it was a piece of delicious candy. He smelled like sugar and tasted even better. I hadn’t felt Jamie’s swell of happiness; our bond was marginally muted by the lingering Gar in his system.

  “Tell me.” He broke the kiss, breathing heavily as he stepped back. I noticed a solitary sparkle above his upper lip, and wondered how much lavender powder he needed to keep himself afloat. “Tell me what happened. Jamie’s been useless for information since he got an eyeful of Britt. Foss told me as much as he knows, but he said you went on a hunger strike and took up a vow of silence when you got on the island?”

  “Don’t ever do that to me again! I can’t lose another person I love. I just can’t. That was a stupid thing, to split up like that. Never again! And I just stood there and let it happen, but I knew it was a bad plan! We aren’t supposed to be apart, Jens.”

  He delivered one slow and meaningful kiss, holding my face even after he pulled away. “That you love me? It’s a heady thing. I never thought I’d actually get to be with you.”

  “Don’t die, then. Never ever die. Not even playing Tekken. I can’t take it.”

  He held up his hand to heaven and promised, “As you wish it, I will never ever die. I’ll live to be seven hundred million years old, at least. But I suck at Tekken, so I make no promises there. Linus took me to the mat every time.” He pressed his forehead to mine and calmed his sarcasm for his best attempt at a serious moment. “But that means you can’t stop eating and living. You have to try to survive. For me, if no one else. You think you need me?” He shook his head against mine. “I need you.”

  I nodded, and I could feel him relax as his shoulders lowered a few inches. I could see in his disquiet that he was worried about me. He’d been through who knows what to get here, but he was most concerned about me. That’s the thing about a man worth keeping.

  We sat down on the bed together. Jens leaned his elbows on his knees next to me, gearing up for whatever he’d missed. “Now, talk.”