Cynical Heart (Heart Series)

by Lee, Vivian Rose

  Dana sat and lifted her feet up onto the ottoman. “Well Cab, you wanted to talk, so talk,” she said, breaking into his thoughts.

  Looking into her eyes, Cab cleared his throat. “First, I want to apologize for my behavior these past few months,” he started out contritely.

  Dana tilted her head and watched him closely. After his performance this morning, she didn’t trust him one bit. “Why now Cab?”

  Cab sighed and rubbed his hand down his face. “Diz told me about the lawsuit your ex was claiming, and that he was ruled out.”

  “Oh, so now you want me to believe that you have had a change of heart about who fathered my baby?” She asked sarcastically. “How do you know I wasn’t in the cockpit screwing the pilot on my way back from Philly?”

  “Come on Dana,” he replied pitifully. He felt bad enough already.

  “Hey, I am only implying what you implied. I believe your words were, ‘this could easily be your ex-boyfriend’s child or maybe someone you met on your way home’.”

  He leaned forward in the chair as rest his elbows on his legs. “I regret every word that fell from my mouth, but unfortunately, I can’t pull them back and I really wish I could because I will never have a clean heart until you’ve forgiven me.”

  “Fell Cab? You regret every word that fell from your mouth? Please! Try spewed from your mouth!” She countered.

  “You’re not going to make this easy are you?”

  “Gee, ya think?”

  “Will you at least let me explain?”

  Shrugging her shoulders and folding her arms across her chest, Dana leaned back on the sofa.

  “I’ll admit that I was pretty pissed when I woke up that morning in Philly you were gone, and ever since the day we met, I’ve done nothing but think about you. To be honest, I have dreamed about you, fantasized about you, and cursed you, sometimes all at the same time. When you didn’t participate during the merger, I asked Dell about you, and he told Duke and me about your situation with your ex-fiancé. I became angry because I thought…” Cab paused.

  “You thought what, Cab? That I was a whore and slept around?” She replied tersely, dropping her feet and moving to the edge of the sofa.

  Cab tried to respond, but she quickly cut him off.

  “Ever since I told you about my pregnancy, you’ve done nothing but insulted me, and believe it or not, I even understood why you felt the way that you did. I was engaged, yes, I admit that, but what you didn’t know was that I had stopped being intimate Cliff immediately after our first time together three years ago. You see Cliff was my first, but because the experience was so unrewarding, sex with him was something that I chose not to repeat. In other words it was a one and done deal. I can only assume that because of our lack of intimacy, he chose to stray, and to be honest I don’t blame him for seeking it elsewhere. Hell, everybody has needs, and if somebody ain’t fulfilling them then somebody else will. The only thing that pissed me off was that he had been using me all those years as a front to support his new lifestyle and that was a big no-no.”

  “Cab frowned. “But you were going to marry him.”

  Dana shrugged and looked down at her hands. “It was his idea to become engaged, not mine, and eventually I would have gotten around to breaking it off. Back then, he was my friend and he was going through a bad time… or so I thought. Later on, I found out that he didn’t get laid-off at all, but that he quit his job. Basically, I took care of him all those years out of sheer stupidity.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me about him, Dana?”

  “I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” she snapped.

  “Tell me!” Cab demanded.

  “Because you overwhelmed me, and overshadowed any thoughts of him. You amazed me and blew my mind just by the touch of your hand, and I didn’t like you very much for that Cab Howard. Are you happy now? I have fully humiliated myself yet once again!”

  Cab rose from the chair and stood in front of her.

  Dana looked up at him warily, and his eyes instantaneously held her.

  “Do you know how beautiful I think you are?” He asked, stroking the back of his fingers gently down her cheek. Dana moved away from his touch.

  “The first moment that I saw you, I knew you were special. I didn’t want to feel that way about you, or any woman for that matter, but your eyes captivated me. I wanted to fight the strong attraction I felt towards you, but you made that hard to do,” he chuckled. “Hell, you made me laugh.”

  Dana opened her mouth to speak.

  “Shh… shh. When I woke up that morning back in Philly and saw that you had gone, my pride took over and I became very angry. Hell, I’m the one who usually leaves after one night stands! I tried to fool myself into believing that my reason for wanting to see you again was to settle some big score where we would get together again and this time I would leave you lying there asleep, but it wasn’t. I soon realized that my reason for wanting to see you again was that you were different. You got under my skin Dana Whalen, and I wanted to spend more time with you. But then, when I discovered that you were engaged, I put you in the same category that I put all woman. You see, I allowed one woman to hurt me and have power over me, and I refused to allow that to happen again, so when you told me that I fathered your child, I didn’t handle it well… hell, I flat out didn’t believe it because of your engagement to another man. How was I to know that the baby wasn’t his?”

  “I would never do that Cab,” Dana commented softly. “If there was ever any doubt I would have never approached you with my news.”

  “I know that now and I’m sorry. I realize that I have said some harsh thing to you, and I regret every word, sweetheart. If I could turn back time, I swear it would have been different.

  Dana wasn’t buying it, and the more she listened to him, the angrier she became. Did he think she just jumped off the turnip truck?

  “Let me see if I got this straight Cab. What you are saying is now that you know that Cliff couldn’t possibly be the father, you have decided that you now want to acknowledge the fact that you fathered my baby? To be honest with you Cab, I feel kind of insulted. What you just said tells me that my word isn’t good enough for you. What if it were proven that he did father this child, how would you feel then? Wait, I’ll answer that one for you. I think you would not be here and we would not be having this conversation! And another thing I can’t fully understand is why you feel like I have wronged you? We had a one night stand, remember? It was my first, but you I’m sure, have had plenty and know the rules… hell, you probably wrote most of them. And now somehow because of the situation we find ourselves in, you think it’s alright for you to continuously insult and disrespect me while I am in your presence…”

  “You have every right to feel that way and I deserve your animosity, but Dana I’m tired of hiding behind an attitude I know longer care to carry. It took me five long years to realize that I let a woman have power over me who was not even worthy of my attention. I want you Dana Whalen, and only you. If the baby was not mine, I would still want you, but that’s a moot point. She is mine, and I want both of you in my life. Give me a chance to prove to you that I can be all you want. The bottom line here is that I want us to try to get to know each other and raise our daughter together. After that, we can let whatever happens happen. Can we do that?”

  “Back up Cabel Howard!” Dana snapped.

  Cab took a step back. His brows rose when he noticed that those yellowish brown eyes were dark with suppressed fury.

  Dana rose from the sofa and faced him.

  “Let me see if I got this straight. You expect me to fall all head over heels because you claim to have changed, huh? Okay, fine. Let’s put that to the test. How about the time when you brought that woman, Cecilia I believe it was, to dinner and allowed her to insult your sister in law and myself? You don’t remember that one, huh? Okay, well then how about the time when she was busy insulting me and you joined in by saying, and I quote: “all that m
ay be true if you are the father of the child little brother, but you needs to back off and let the real father step up… if she can find him?” Hey, don’t get me wrong, I am thrilled that you have suddenly found yourself Cab Howard, really I am, but it’s going to take a lot more than a few flowery words for me to forget all the insults and contempt you have shown towards me these past six months. So to show you that I harbor no feelings of ill will towards you and that I am willing to let bygones be bygones, right about now I am going to give you the finger.” Dana proudly showed him the middle finger on her left hand. “And while I’m at it, why don’t I just kindly ask you to leave my home and don’t ever come back?” Dana turned and left a stunned Cab standing there with his mouth wide open. A minute later he laughed.

  “It’s alright Dana,” he said loudly. “I’m not giving up on you though, not now, not ever! I will have you and our daughter in my life!” He turned and went through the door. “Damn I like that woman!”

  Cassandra tossed her phone on the sofa. Why was Cab not returning her calls? The convention would be ending in a couple days and she wanted to see Cab as much as she could before it did to seal the deal.

  “Raini!” She shouted.

  Raini came around the corner and looked at her.

  “Call this number on your phone!” She ordered.

  Raini dialed the numbers as Cassandra called them out. “Who am I calling?” Raini asked.

  “Shut up! Is it ringing?” Raini nodded.

  “Hello,” she said when she connected. Before she could say another word however, Cassandra snatched the phone from her hand.

  “Cab,” she said sweetly. “I have been trying to get a hold of you. Is everything okay?” Too good to hold a phone to her face, Cassandra pressed the speaker.

  “I’ve been busy,” he stated gruffly. “What do you want?”

  “I need to see you… it’s very important,” she lamented, trying her level best to sound pitiful.

  “Look Cassandra, I’m very busy right now,” he replied impatiently.

  “Please Cab. I’ll be going back to Atlanta in a couple days, and I really need a friend. With Sonny dying and all, it’s really just too much for me to cope with alone and I need someone I can talk to about this. We were the best of friends once; can you not make time for me for old time sake?”

  He sighed heavily. “Fine Cassandra, when?”

  “In an hour at my hotel suite,” she said plainly, her voice having lost its remorsefully tone.

  “Don’t waste my time Cassandra,” Cab warned before disconnecting.

  Cassandra smiled smugly and then looked at her sister.

  “Whatever you do tonight do not come out of that room!” She ordered. Raini took her phone and left the room.

  Cassandra sat back on the sofa and crossed her legs.

  “Run me a bath Raini, and take out my white teddy and robe,” she shouted to her sister.

  At last, she had Cab right where she wanted him, and even though he doesn’t realize it yet, he is as good as got. She had him once she will have him again. He could never resist her in the past, and he will be unable to resist her tonight.

  Cab knocked on the door, and when it opened, there stood Cassandra wearing a sheer silk robe and teddy. Years ago, that would have turned him on to no end, but right now the only thing it did was make him mad. He was in no mood for Cassandra’s head games.

  “Hi Cab, come in,” she said, inviting him in with her patented sultry tone.

  “Cassandra I don’t have time for games. You need to talk, I’m here, let’s talk.” He said curtly as he moved past her.

  He looked around the room and could see that it was set up for romance. Candles were lit on the sofa table, and a bottle of wine was chilling in a bucket of ice. The only thing missing was a fire in the fireplace. Cab shook his head. He needed to let Cassandra know that nothing was going to happen now or ever, immediately.

  Cassandra moved seductively, and despite him objecting her reason for bringing him there, had to admit that she still had it, even after all these years.

  She poured a glass of wine for herself. “Can I pour you a glass of wine Cab?” She asked.

  “No, Cassandra. You said that you needed to talk to me, so what did you want?”

  “Can you at least sit down, Cab?”

  Cab sat in the single chair beside the sofa while she lounged on the chair and let the robe fall open, exposing her long legs.

  Inwardly, Cassandra was steaming. Her seduction was not working, but all was not lost. She just had to use another tactic. “Cab, I wanted to apologize for what happened between us. I know I should not have fallen for Sonny’s advances, but I was drunk and upset that you didn’t want to remain in baseball. You were great back them, and I thought it was a waste that you were retiring while in your prime. Sonny was always jealous of you and our relationship,” she finished with a sniff.

  “It doesn’t matter anymore Cassandra. You and Sonny got married and you lived your lives. I’ll admit that at first it did hurt to see my best friend with my woman, but I eventually got over it and you. I was sorry to hear about Sonny, he was a good friend once. Still I’m at a loss as to why you needed to see me?”

  Cassandra rose up from the sofa with grace and a smile playing on her full mouth. She stood in front of him a let the robe slip down her arms. “I thought that maybe we can start all over. You loved me once and I’ve never stopped loving you. We had good times and we were dynamite in bed. We could never get enough of each other, you remember?”

  “I’m sorry Cassandra,” Cab said coming to his feet. “I’m involved with someone and not free to explore anything with you or any other woman,” he stated.

  “But Cab, you remember how we were. We are fated to be together, and I believe that with all my heart. I never thought I would ever see you again, and yet here you were in LA at the same time I am. That has to tell you something,” she said sound desperate.

  “It tells me nothing. Look, I’m not looking to start something I don’t want to finish. I’m ready to settle down.”

  “Is there someone else?”

  “Yes there is. It’s Dana Whalen,” he answered proudly.

  Cassandra frowned. “That pregnant woman at the dinner party?” She said skeptically.

  “Yep, we are having baby.”

  “But I thought she didn’t know…”

  “She has always known. It just took my getting over myself to acknowledge the truth. Now if you don’t mind, I’d appreciate it if you stop calling. I have to win over the mother of my child.”

  “What if it doesn’t work out Cab? Then what?”

  Cab shrugged and moved to the door. “That is not an option,” he stated firmly.

  “Well Cab, I wish you the best. Dana doesn’t know how lucky she is.”

  “No Cassandra that’s not true. I didn’t know how lucky I was when she came into my life. I hope you find what you are looking for out there. I’m just not the one. Goodbye Cassandra.” With that, Cab went out the door.

  Cassandra flopped in the chair Cab vacated and crossed her legs. Time was running out. It was her plan to be on that flight to Philly with Cab, and now this baby’s mama drama had to rear its ugly head. She took a deep breath and exhaled. Fine. That meant that she had two days to get this Dana chick out of the picture.

  Chapter 10

  Dana awoke from a restless sleep. After Cab left, she had trouble getting to sleep and it seemed like baby Cabri did somersaults in her belly all night long. What did he expect her to do now that he was aware her ex-boyfriend couldn’t possibly be her baby’s father? Did he expect her to welcome him in with open arms because he now wants to step up and acknowledge her baby?

  “Well you can kiss my grits Cab Howard because it is not going to be that easy,” she said out loud as she looked through her closet for something to wear.

  After looking over the same articles of clothing at least three times, she finally decided on the plain white maternity blouse an
d black slacks. There were three seminars she wanted to attend at the convention today, and right now she was running late and needed to get dressed. She stepped into the shower, washed quickly, and dried, and after she wiped the moisture from the mirror, she took a long look at herself. Her once short bob was now down to her shoulders, and she needed to see her hair stylist soon. The dark circles that surrounded her eyes clearly showed just how tired she was, and she lay the blame squarely where it belonged. This was Cab’s fault. If he thinks for one second that she is going to fall at his feet, he had another thing coming. She was not going to let him step in and play daddy now that he has decided to accept her pregnancy. No matter the circumstances, he chose not to believe her so he’s ass out as far as she was concerned.

  Cabri gave her a hard kick. “Okay little girl, Momma’s going to feed you,” she said rubbing her belly. She dressed as fast her round body would let her and went down the stairs heading for the kitchen. The doorbell rang just as she walked past it and startled her. Who in the world would be at her door this early? She pulled the door open, and BLAM! Slammed it shut.

  “Good!” Dana knew it was rude, but she was irritable and in no mood for Cab Howard’s schizophrenia this morning. She continued to the kitchen to grab something to eat and prepare to start her long day, but feeling rude and a little guilty, she glanced over her shoulder in the direction of the door, she sighed. She went back to the door, eased it open, and he stood looking as good as he usually did, the only difference being that this time he had a smile on his face. Her stomach exploded with uncontrollable flutters not caused by the baby, and her heart seemed to tilt, bringing about a sensation of airy lightheaded. She was accustomed to Cab’s beauty, but now with his sensual mouth curled in a rare and tantalizing smile, the man was earth-shattering. But wait one minute. She wasn’t supposed to be having these feelings for him. How was she ever going to fall out of love with him if he came around looking like this all the time? The man was definitely not playing fair. Seeing that he clearly won this round, she stepped aside and allowed him to enter.