Cynical Heart (Heart Series)

by Lee, Vivian Rose

  “And he should have been,” Duke injected. “No man likes to be called pretty, Caitlin.”

  “Well, I told Cab that he was beautiful,” Dana admitted, glancing over at him.

  Duke and Yaz looked at Cab and frowned.

  “And what did he say?” Yaz asked, cocking his head at Cab.

  “Nothing. He smiled and I think he blushed just a little bit.”

  Dana started to laugh, but suddenly cut her laughter short.

  “Sunshine, are you feeling okay?” A worried Cab asked, his voice riddled with concern.

  “Oh Cab no. Something is wrong,” she whispered. Cab rose from his chair and pushed it out of his way as he stooped down beside Dana.

  “Are you in pain?”

  “It’s too soon. Cabri is not ready to come yet,” she moaned.

  Duke and Yaz were on their feet. “Let’s get her to the hospital,” Duke ordered.

  With everyone around the table now on their feet, Dana looked up a Cab. “Cab, help me up,” she said as the pain subsided for the moment.

  Cab rose to his feet and stepped back, and when Dana grabbed his arm and came to her feet, a pain sliced through her abdomen that caused her legs to buckle. Seeing this, Cab quickly swept Dana up in his arms and proceeded to carry her from the room with a worried Zoey and Cat following. Seeing that something was happing at Duke’s table, Jelly, Satch, and Diz rushed over.

  “What wrong?” Diz asked, looking on as Cab carried Dana out.

  “We have to get the hospital. Take care of your business here and we will meet you there,” Duke said following the others. During the commotion, no one noticed that Cassandra stood off to side smiling when she saw Cab rushing out with Dana in his arms.

  “Ha! It must be the baby! She squealed with delight. “Looks like there’s still hope after all.”

  Chapter 12

  The entire Howard family sat around the maternity waiting room waiting on word about Dana. Cab stood near the door that Dana had went through, and the nurse promised that she would come out after the doctor examined her. Zoey and Cat were quietly talking, while Satch, Diz, and Jelly were on their IPod’s probably doing business. Duke looked at Cab, who had removed his tie and loosened the top button, and he could see the stress and worry on his face. If anything happened to Dana and the baby, there was no doubt in his mind that Cassandra would have hell to pay. Cab would see to it. He joined his brother.

  “They’re going to be fine Cab, you have to believe that,” Duke said, placing a hand of comfort on his brother’s shoulder.

  Cab glanced at Duke before returning his focus to the door. “Why didn’t they let me go with her? She’s probably frightened.”

  “Of course she is, but you have to give the doctors time to assess the situation.”

  “I swear Cassandra going to wish she never crossed me. What is it with us Duke? We find and have relationships with these unstable women before we find that special woman that holds our hearts. You had your Veronica and now I have a damn Cassandra.”

  Duke shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s because we were only looking for the kind of woman we knew we would never marry.”

  “Yeah, but at one time I was thinking of proposing to her.”

  “Yeah, well thank the Lord that you dodged that bullet,” Duke chuckled.

  Any other time that would have been funny, but right now Cab was not in a laughing mood. “What’s taking so long?” He wondered, staring at the door.

  The ER doctor finally came through the door, and Cab immediately rushed over to her. “Mr. Howard?” She addressed.

  “Yes. How is Dana?” He asked as the rest of the family crowded around.

  “First I want to tell you that she is asking for you and I will take you to her. I also want you to know that her condition is serious.” Zoey and Cat gasped simultaneously and then covered their mouths as the doctor continued. “She says that she recently fell down some stairs?”

  “Yes, and we immediately went to the ER afterwards. The doctor there said that if she wasn’t bleeding or having contractions she could go home, and he placed her on bed rest for the remainder of the day. She was sore mostly in her back,” Cab informed the doctor.

  “Well, that doctor was wrong. After performing a sonogram, we discovered that an abruption of blood didn't flow out as it should have, and it is currently filling her uterus due to a small tear in the placenta. Be thankful; had that small tear been any larger, the baby would have drowned in her mother’s blood. We are prepping her for an emergency C-section, but she wanted to see you before she’s taken in.”

  “How’s Dana now?” Zoey asked.

  “We gave her a mild sedative because she is severely distraught, but our main objective is to save both mother and child. Mr. Howard? You can follow me.”

  Duke grabbed Cab and hugged him. “It’s going to be alright, man. We are all praying for them.”

  The doctor eased open the curtain to where Dana was being prepped for surgery. She lay there with her eyes closed while a nurse stood beside the bed and watched the monitor for any changes in Dana and the baby. He could hear the echo of his daughter’s heartbeat and it was strong. The nurse smiled at him.

  “Are you Cab?” She asked.

  He nodded his head yes, but his eyes remained trained on Dana.

  “Dana, Cab is here,” she said gently.

  Her eyes fluttered open, and Dana turned her head until her eyes found Cab. She lifted her hand and Cab quickly rushed to her side to take hold of it. Tears slipped down her face, and with his free hand, he gently wiped her tears away.

  “Baby, everything’s going to fine,” he said tenderly.

  “I don’t want to lose her,” she whispered.

  “We won’t baby, we won’t. Her heart is strong and she wants to be with us,” he said as tears puddled in his eyes.

  The doctor arrived and looked at Dana’s chart. “Mr. Howard, we are going to take her now,” she said as the nurse was busy preparing her for the move to the OR.”

  Dana’s eyes closed. “I love you,” she whispered.

  Cab’s heart slammed in his chest. “I have to be with her,” he said as he watched the orderly remove her from the room.

  “Of course,” the nurse said. “Follow me.”

  As the anesthesiologist prepared to administer anesthesia, Cab stood at Dana’s head.

  “She’s not under yet Mr. Howard, you can talk to her.”

  “Baby I’m here,” he said, watching as Dana opened her eyes.

  She looked up at him and smiled. “Cab.”

  “Okay Dana, I want you to count backwards from one hundred,” the anesthesiologist instructed. Cab counted with her, and by the count of ninety-five, she was out. One of the nurses then placed an oxygen mask over her nose and mouth, and to prevent Cab from seeing what the doctors were doing, sterile drape was put in place from her chest down. Occasionally he would glance over at the heart and blood pressure monitors that read her vitals, but for the most part Cab’s eyes lingered on Dana. It wasn’t long before the doctor announced that their daughter was born. Because she was not quite twenty-eight weeks, she was rushed to NICU. Cab kissed Dana gently before she was placed in recovery, and then went to introduce himself to his baby girl.

  When Cab entered the NICU, the nurses covered him with a gown and told him to thoroughly wash and disinfect his hands. While drying his hands, he noticed a slight tremble in his fingers. “You’re a father,” echoed inside his head. He balled his trembling hands into fists and took a shuttered breath. He had never been so nervous in his life, and yet never more determined. This baby girl will look up to him for his love, guidance, and protection throughout her life, and dammit, he was going to be there for her and the beautiful woman who bore her.

  Anxious to see his daughter, Cab took a seat in a wide back rocker placed beside the incubator that housed his daughter, and she was then placed gently in his large hands by the NICU nurse. He looked down at his baby girl, who he could practica
lly hold in one hand, and listened attentively while the nurse explained the treatment she receives and the reasons for it. Her eyes were covered with tape and a tube hung from her tiny nose, while others dangled from the heel of her foot. It hurt to see his baby like this, but he knew it was saving her life. No longer able to hold back the moisture that pooled in his eyes, a single tear rolled down his cheek.

  “Oh my precious heart,” he choked up. “Daddy is so sorry that he didn’t believe Mommy. I promise you with all my heart that I will make it up to you and Mommy. I love you baby girl, I will never leave you again.” Cab gently touched her tiny fragile fingers. To his surprise, they curled up around the tip of his finger.

  The nurse smiled. “She’s a fighter,” she commented.

  Tearfully Cab looked over at the nurse and gave her a shaky smile. “She’s a Howard. That’s what we do,” he replied prideful.

  “We have to put her back in under the lights now Mr. Howard, you can come back later.”

  After the nurse took the preemie and placed her back in the incubator, Cab stood gazing at her a while longer, wiping away the tears that rolled uncontrollably down his face. As the steel trap that held his heart for these past few years finally sprang open and freed him, the sensation so acute it was almost painful.

  His family were still in the waiting area when he returned, and Cab looked around until he located Diz slouched on the vinyl couch with his head down.

  Diz looked up at older brother and his eyes filled when he saw the tears flowing unabashedly down his face. Cab extended his hand to him and Diz took it, coming to his feet.

  “Thank you Diz,” Cab croaked before giving him a hug.

  “For what, man?”

  Cab took a shaky breath. “For being Gillespie “Dizzy” Howard for one, and for not punching me in the face when I so rightly deserved it.

  “Hey, I can still do that if you want,” Diz laughed.

  “Can we have a piece of that?” Duke smiled.

  Cab hugged each of his brothers. “She fits right in my hand, Duke. I touched her fingers and she closed her tiny fingers right around the tip of my finger. The nurse said that she is a fighter, and I told her that she was a Howard, that’s what we do.”

  “Damn right,” the brother’s chorused.

  “Caitlin and Zoey have gone in to see Dana,” Duke said.

  “She said she loved me,” Cab admitted.

  “Well, what do you think about that?” Duke asked.

  “I don’t know. I have strong feelings for Dana, but this love thing scares me,” he admitted.

  “Yeah I know. I fought hard not to love Caitlin, but she beat me down,” Duke chuckled. “If you can imagine spending your life without Dana, then let it go. If you can’t, then there is hope for you.”

  Cab hugged his brother.

  Dana moaned as she was waking. Her eyes opened and she was instantly disoriented, unfamiliar with her surroundings. “Oh no, no, my baby, my baby,” she cried.

  Cat and Zoey were at each side of the bed. “Dana, listen to me,” Cat said tenderly taking her hand into her own. “She’s alive. Your little girl is alive.”

  Dana looked from Cat to Zoey looking for truth in their eyes. “She’s alive?” She whispered doubtfully. “B-but I…”

  As their words began to register, Dana paused. She again looked from Cat to Zoey, and watched as the two of them nodded, smiling through their own tears.

  “Thank you God,” she prayed.

  Zoey gave her a drink of water. “The guys are outside and they have been here all night. They said they were not leaving until you were better.”

  The door to her room opened and the doctor walked in.

  “Ah Miss Whalen you’re awake,” she smiled.

  “How’s my baby?” Dana asked.

  “We had to give her a blood transfusion, but she’s holding her own.

  Dana looked at Cat and Zoey, and tears rolled down the side of her face as the doctor just confirmed what they had said.

  The doctor then began to examine her. “Miss Whalen, I know that you are anxious to see the baby, and you will, but for now you need to get a lot of rest.

  “When can I see my baby?” She asked.

  The doctor patted her hand. “Maybe tomorrow, depending how strong you are feeling.”

  Dana knew that whether she was strong or not, she needed to see her baby just see for herself if she was alive.

  After the doctor was gone, she turned to Cat and Zoey. “Thank you for staying with me, and for being here for me. Tell the guys I said thank you and to go home and get some rest.”

  With that, Zoey and Cat kissed her cheek. “Thank you.”

  Chapter 13

  Cab eased the door open, and other than the beeping of the monitor that Dana was hooked up to, the room was silent. He made his way quietly to the bed, and looking down admirably at Dana as she slept, he reached out and traced her silky jawline. Her flawless sienna skin had attracted him from the first moment that he met her, and it still made him pause to gaze at her beauty.

  He pulled a chair to the bed and took a seat. Taking her hand in his and gently caressing it, he dropped his head. His family had been right all along. He was a cynical and heartless man, and really did need therapy for his blatant disregard for her feelings. When he recalled some of the things he said to her in the past, he groaned. How could he let Cassandra have so much control over him that he became an embittered unforgiving man and hurt the one woman that was forever in his thoughts? Why didn’t he at least discuss it with her when she told him she was pregnant? All he did was make the situation worse. He had been cruel to her, and if she never spoke to him again, it would be his cross to bear. It took the life of his child to make him see himself for the fool he really was, but never again. His purpose in life from this point on was to be a part of his daughter and her mother’s life… if she will have him, and speaking of his daughter, he could hurt Cassandra for her part in causing his child’s premature birth.

  Being with Dana these past few days was great, and he soon came to realize that Dana made him happy, an emotion so foreign to him that he didn’t realize that he actually was until now. It would take time, but his next step was to convince her that they could be parents together. To let go of his pride and admit that he had feelings for Dana Whalen and had from the very start. He kissed the back of her small hands tenderly. He would move heaven and earth for Dana’s forgiveness. He would even let Dell punch him in the mouth, which he’ll probably want to do anyway when he finds out how badly he had treated his sister, but only once. Filled with remorse, Cab lay his head down with her hand clasped in his.

  Suddenly aware of the light pressure on her hand, Dana’s eyes blinked open and she turned to see Cab’s handsome face relaxed in slumber and drooling on her fingers. When she gently eased her hand from his, her lips twitched into a slight smile. It was good to know that this handsome, sometimes cruel man had flaws and was not as perfect as he appeared to be. She lifted her hand so that she could rub her hand over his soft naturally curly hair, but quickly snatched it back. She closed her eyes and exhaled. He was here and that was all that mattered. She let her head sink heavily onto the pillow and thanked God for her baby’s life as tears seeped through her closed eyelids. She looked over at the soundly sleeping Cab, and then at the pole that held the IV’s attached to her arm. Determination was in her soul. She want to see her baby… she couldn’t wait a couple days.

  Dana snatched the tape from her arm and gently pulled out the IV needles. She slid her legs from the bed taking great care not to awaken Cab. Ignoring the weakness and soreness in her body, she came to her feet and wave of dizziness cause her to stumble back against the bed. She checked over her shoulder to make sure that Cab was still asleep, and then barefoot and moving slowly, she made her way to the door holding the gown behind her to maintain a modicum of dignity. She then pulled the door open soundlessly and stepped through it.

  Waking up with a jolting start, Cab rubbe
d his hand down his face. He didn’t know why, but even in his sleep he felt that something wasn’t right. When he turned to the bed, expecting to see Dana still sleeping soundly, his heart dropped. Dana was gone. He quickly rushed through the door, looking up and down the hospital corridor, but no one had to tell him where she had gone. He glanced at his watch. It was almost four in the morning, and that was probably the reason why the hallway was so empty. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, and when he looked at it, it was a text from Duke. Don’t worry. You are where you should be. Duke. Cab exhaled. He had a symposium at nine. There was a time when nothing could keep him from his job, but now the most important things in his life were his daughter and Dana.

  After seeing his little angel, he recognized just how much of a cold heartless bastard he had become. He had the utmost respect for women, or at least he did before he met Cassandra. How could he let what she had done to him change him into the type of man that even he despised? He feared opening his heart to anyone, until that little girl lying in NICU and three months premature, decided that she wanted out. He stopped in the middle of the hallway and dropped his head as it hit him. Had he not come around and admitted that he was the father, he would have never known that she was his daughter. Cab clutched his chest, literally feeling another crack in the shell he long ago placed around his heart.

  Cab found Dana at the NICU sitting in the rocker, tears flowing steadily down her face as she gazed at their miracle, and another crack in his chest and the steel that surrounded his heart fell away. The scene before him was so beautiful he that felt a lightness well up in his born again heart. He lifted his phone and took the picture of mother and daughter wanting to preserve the day that he realized he felt more for Dana, more than he cared to admit.