by Jessica Wood
Anna’s excitement was contagious and as she began to tell me all about her last trip to Milburn Orchard, I smiled and realized how much fun tomorrow will be. By the end of brunch, I felt less confused and more hopeful about my relationship with Connor. Anna’s right. Things will work the way they should.
***
It wasn’t until I got home later that afternoon that I noticed I’d missed a few calls and a voicemail from Connor. I checked the voicemail.
“Hey, babe. I’m jumping into another meeting but wanted to give you a call before I did. So it looks like I can’t make it back tonight as planned. We still have some loose ends we need to tie up before we finalize this deal. I’m so sorry this has been taking so much longer than I had thought. But don’t worry about tomorrow. I promise I’ll be there. I’ll be on the earliest Acela Express Amtrak train back from New York City in the morning and will probably be home before you’re even up. I can’t wait to do some apple picking with you! I’ll see you tomorrow, Birthday Girl. I love you.”
By the time I got to the end of Connor’s voicemail, some of the hopefulness I’d felt from my day with Anna had evaporated. In its place was this ominous feeling that tomorrow won’t go as planned. When Connor left for New York City several mornings ago, he said he was only going to be gone for a day. But by that evening, he had called to tell me that he had to stay another day. This had happened for the previous three evenings, and it had happened again this afternoon. As much as I didn’t want to believe it, I was beginning to feel as if in Connor’s world, his company would always come first, and I would always come after.
Then my hand touched the emerald diamond necklace around my neck and I instantly felt awful for doubting Connor’s love for me. Stop it, Liv! Why do you keep thinking the worst of Connor? Have some faith in him for a change. I let out a deep sigh and tried to reclaim some of the hope I had from earlier today. I knew that if our relationship was to work, I had to show just as much understanding, patience, and trust in Connor as he has been showing me over the last month and a half. I had to believe that he would keep his promise. I had to believe that he’d be home tomorrow morning and he’d be there to wake me up so we could spend my birthday together.
***
The next morning, Connor was indeed the one to wake me up.
But he wasn’t there in the room.
Instead, it was his call that woke me up. The alarm clock on my bedside table said it was 6:56 a.m. I sat up against the bed and yawned. As I pressed the button to pick up the call, I clung on to the hope that he was just calling to let me know that he was on his way home.
“Hello?” My voice was tentative as I held my breath, waiting for him to start talking.
“Happy birthday, Liv.” There was a forced cheerfulness in his voice, and it immediately sent a wave of dread and disappointment to wash over me.
“Hey. Are you on the train yet?” I refused to give up the hope that he would be here today.
“Baby, I…” There was a pause, and it was then that any shred of hope I had left had evaporated into that silence.
“You’re not coming back today, are you?” My voice was flat as I answered my own question.
There was a pause before he answered. “Liv, I’m so sorry, honey. I hate to have to do this to you, but the client wants to finalize this entire deal by tomorrow. I thought we still had until next week. I’m so terribly sorry. Please don’t be upset.”
I was too disappointed to know how to respond.
“Liv, I promise we’ll celebrate your birthday when I’m back,” he pled.
You also promised you’d be back today, I wanted to say to him.
“Please say something.” I could hear the desperation in his voice, and I felt conflicted with how I felt. I was upset. I wanted him to know how upset I was that he’d broken his promise. But I was also afraid that if I said anything now in the heat of the moment, I’d regret it later.
“I’m not sure what to say, Connor. I’d be lying if I said I was okay with the fact that you won’t be here today. I was really looking forward to the birthday plans you had made.”
“I know, baby. I was really looking forward to spending the day with you too. You have to know that I would much rather be spending the day with you out at Milburn Orchard and having a nice romantic dinner than with a dozen employees in this stuffy conference room for the next fifteen hours working non-stop and eating out of take-out boxes. Liv, if I could delay this for a different day and spend today with you, I would.”
I did believe him. I knew he had been working really hard lately. I knew the company was very important to him. And I knew this client was a big deal for the company. But none of that knowledge was enough to minimize the huge disappointment I felt inside. None of that knowledge was enough to bring back the hope I had felt for our relationship before this call.
“Liv, I know this isn’t an ideal situation.”
I frowned at how he chose to describe his broken promise.
But before I could say something, he continued, “So because I can’t be there to celebrate your birthday with you, I had Bill plan a special spa and shopping day for you. He’ll email you all the details and Jim will drive you around.”
I wasn’t sure why, but this made me even more upset. Not only was this not an ideal situation, but I found it offensive that Connor thought having his assistant plan a spa and shopping day to keep me busy would be an acceptable alternative. I wasn’t sure how I was before, or how our relationship was, but this didn’t feel okay to me. If Anna had been right, then a huge part of our relationship revolved around Brady Global. So if the company was out of the equation, if I didn’t work there or care about the company, would this be how our relationship would become? Would we barely see each other and would he try to solve any problems we might have with money?
“That’s okay, Connor,” I said flatly. “I’ll be fine today. I’m not in the mood for a spa and shopping day.”
“Liv, baby, are you upset?”
That’s a dumb question. “Let’s just talk about this whenever you actually get back.”
Before he could say another word, I hung up on him, making it clear to him that I was upset, that what he did was not okay with me.
Part of me expected him to call me right back to apologize and make sure I was okay. But he didn’t. Instead, a few minutes later I received an email from Bill with an itinerary of my spa and shopping day he had planned out for me. At the top of the email before the itinerary, Bill wrote:
Dear Ms. Stuart,
Mr. Brady sends his deepest apologies for missing your birthday today. He has asked me to tell you that he understands that you may be a little upset, but he promises to make it up to you when he is back in Philadelphia.
I wish you a very happy birthday today. If you do not have anything planned yet for the day, I have taken the liberty to plan a relaxing spa and shopping day for you. All the massages and spa treatments have been scheduled and listed below in the itinerary. Also, Jim will be at your disposal and will happily take you to wherever you’d like to go.
If there is anything else you’d like me to plan, please do not hesitate to ask.
Best regards,
Bill
I deleted the email from my inbox, unable to accept its existence for another second. As I sunk back down into the bed and under the sheets, I felt the heaviness of disappointment weigh down against my heart. I wanted to believe that due to this demanding client and the time-sensitive deal, Connor had been on edge, and his behavior toward me this week was just a fluke. But after each disappointment, I became less and less sure.
Then my phone began to ring, and I immediately thought it was Connor calling me back to explain himself. But when I looked at the caller ID, what little hope I had left crumbled. It was Anna.
“Hey, Anna.” I forced a cheerful tone.
“Happy birthday, Liv!”
“Thanks.”
“Well I know you’re about to go have a fun and a
mazing day with your loving fiancé, but I wanted to catch you before you guys left and wish you a happy birthday!”
A tear rolled down my face as I listened to Anna’s warm happy, well wishes.
“Thank you,” was all I could manage to say in response. I thought about telling her what had just happened moments ago, but something stopped me. My pride. I felt embarrassed and stupid, and I couldn’t bear to tell her that the day Connor had planned for my birthday wasn’t going to happen.
“Well I don’t want to keep you. Call me tomorrow? You can tell me all about your fabulous day.”
“Sure, I’ll call you tomorrow. Thanks for calling, Anna.”
I hung up the phone before my voice failed me. I bowed my head and felt sorry for myself. I was exhausted from the emotional roller coaster Connor had pushed me through in the past few days. I no longer had the energy to pretend that I was okay, that I was happy with how things were going.
I grabbed my journal from my bedside table and opened it. As the pen moved quickly across the pages, I was surprised by how easy it was to pour out my thoughts onto the page.
…Today is my birthday, and I’ve never felt more alone and scared in my life…
Just then, I was pulled into a new flashback.
“I’m home.” His words were slurred as I heard him stumble through the front door.
I looked up from my diary as he walked into the living room. “Hi dad. Are you okay?” I knew the answer to that question. From the way he was swaying in place and the smell coming from his clothes, I knew he had been drinking.
“Hey sweetie. How was school today? What did Mr. Stine teach you guys today?” He fell back against the couch and turned on the TV.
“Dad, Mr. Stine was my fifth grade teacher. I’m in sixth grade now. My teacher’s Ms. Botkins.”
He looked at me with glazed-over eyes. “Right.” He returned his attention to the TV.
“Liv? Did I hear the front door?” My mother came into the living room holding a basket of freshly folded laundry in front of her.
“Hey, baby. I’m starving. Can you cook me something?”
“Tom, where have you been all night?” Her voice was etched with anger.
“I’ve had a long day at work. I needed to unwind.”
“You said you would come straight home. You promised you wouldn’t go to a bar.” Her tone was reflected in her disapproving face.
“I’ve been dealing with bull shit all day, Laura. I don’t need bull shit from you too.”
“Language, Tom!” I watched my mother motion to me with a nod.
“She’s not a child anymore. She probably hears plenty of this at school.”
“Tom, you need to go sober up.” She turned to me. “Liv, go upstairs.”
I got up from the couch to leave. But as I walked past my father, I felt his rough hand grip tightly against my arm as he got up from the couch.
“I just got home. I haven’t even spent any time with her yet.”
“Tom, you’re not spending any time with her when you’re drunk!” My mother walked toward us and tried to step in between me and my father.
“Like hell I won’t.” He pushed my mother aside, knocking the basket of clothes to the ground.
I watched in horror as half of the folded clothes flew through the air and landed on the floor.
“Dad, you’re hurting me,” I begged as I tried to break free from his steel grip.
But instead of letting me go, he tightened his hold on me. “Don’t listen to your mother, Liv. I’m fine. I just want to hear about the rest of your day.”
“Stop it, Tom. Get your hands off her!” my mother screamed as she grabbed my father’s hand and tried to push him away from me.
“Don’t tell me what to do,” he yelled back.
Then in the midst of the struggle, my father’s hand flew across the air and greeted my face, and for a second, I saw a flash of black from the impact.
I cried out in pain, and it was then that he released me from his grip.
As if waking up from a dream, a spark of recognition hit his face as he blinked. “God, I’m so sorry, Liv.” He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in for a hug against my resistance. “That was an accident. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“Get off her, Tom. You’re hurting her.” My mother finally pulled me out of his arms and stood between us as she inspected my arm. “Are you okay honey?”
I shook my head as tears streamed down my cheeks.
“Liv, baby. You know I didn’t mean to.” My father moved toward me.
“I hate you when you drink!” I pushed past my mother and ran upstairs to my bedroom. I slammed the door behind me and threw myself on my bed and began to sob uncontrollably. I could feel the throbbing pain in my arm where my father’s hand had just been.
This was the first time my father had hurt me. This was the first time my father had scared me. This was the first time I’d ever felt so scared in my life.
The ringing of my phone grew increasingly loud as it pierced through my flashback, bringing me back to the present. My eyes opened and I realized that I was still lying in the bed. In a slight daze, I reached for the phone and answered it without looking at the caller ID.
“Hello?”
“Well I’ll be damned, she does know how to pick up the phone?”
For a moment, I couldn’t place the rich, husky male voice on the other end of the line.
“Who is this?”
“Okay. Wow that kind of hurts. Don’t tell me you’ve already deleted the number to the man who’d first saved your life and then spent two hours with you in the pouring rain to look for a dog?”
“Ethan. Hi.” A smile instantly spread across my face. “Sorry, I didn’t look at the caller ID.”
He chuckled. “So is that why you picked up? I caught you by surprise?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well it’s been a little over a week since we talked, and you’ve been avoiding my text messages and phone calls.”
“Oh. Yeah. Sorry about that. Things have been a little hectic around here.” I felt a tinge of guilt in how I’d treated Ethan. I had intentionally ignored his calls and texts because I was afraid he would distract me from my feelings for Connor. But Ethan didn’t deserve my brush-off. He may have been aggressive at times, but he was a good guy that had been there for me when I needed someone. He was there to catch my fall in front of the hospital. He was there to treat me like a strong, normal person when everyone else coddled me like a fragile piece of glass. He was there to help me look for a dog that meant nothing to him when my own fiancé and the dog’s owner wouldn’t make time to do the same.
“So how are you?”
“I’m okay,” I lied. “How are you?”
“I’m good, and a whole lot better now that I’m talking to you.” There was a warmth in his flirtation that was genuine, and it made me feel special.
“I’m glad you called. It’s really nice to hear your voice.” I wasn’t sure why, but I meant it. There was something about talking to this man that made me happy and hopeful. To my surprise, the gloom and loneliness that I’d felt after hanging up on Connor earlier were gone.
“Wow, I didn’t expect you to admit that.” He laughed.
Feeling a little giddy, I grinned and sank deeper into my comforter. “Oh really?”
“I mean, I knew you had this secret crush on me and my voice the moment we met,” he said sarcastically, “but I thought you’d be too proud to admit it.”
“Hey, let’s not get carried away here,” I responded playfully, “I just said it’s nice to hear your voice. I didn’t say anything about a crush.” I giggled. “If there was anyone who had a secret crush, it’d be you.”
“You’re right. I do have a crush on someone special. She’s feisty, caring, and stunning inside and out.”
As I listened to his deep, seductive voice, I felt as if the world had slipped away from us and he was no longer on the other end of the lin
e. Instead, he was lying there next to me, whispering in my ear.
“But,” he continued, “I think I’ve made it clear that there’s nothing secret about my crush.”
I felt my face flush. “So maybe it’s me who has the secret crush then.” My words came out before I knew what I was saying, and as soon as I said them, I felt my body stiffen in surprise. I expected to feel guilty by my admission that I had feelings for Ethan when I had a fiancé, but as I processed my feelings, I realized that guilt was not there. Instead, I felt relieved to finally admit to myself something I’d been denying for awhile.
“Oh really?” I could hear the delight and amusement in his question. “Well I think it’s time to not make it such a secret.”
I thought about his suggestion, and felt a wave of excitement and fear course through me.
“What are you doing today?” I heard myself ask him.
“Well actually, it happens to be my birthday today, but I hadn’t made any set plans yet.”
“Did you say it’s your birthday?” I wondered if I heard him correctly.
“Yeah. September 7th,” he said matter-of-factly.
“Okay, this is going to sound crazy, but it’s my birthday today too!”
“No shit!” He chuckled. “Wow, talk about a coincidence.”
“Yeah, I know.” I smiled at this revelation and wondered if this was a sign.
“So…” he paused, “let me guess, Connor probably has something special planned for you two to celebrate?” There was a hint of disappointment in his dry voice.
I frowned at the mention of Connor’s name, and everything that had happened earlier today came back to me. “No, Connor’s not in town right now.” I said flatly.
“Seriously?” I could hear the disbelief in Ethan’s voice. “Are you okay with that?”
“No, I’m not,” I said truthfully. “He was supposed to be here. We were supposed to go to Milburn Orchards. But he got held up in New York City for work.”
“Well that’s just ridiculous.” I could hear the outrage in his voice, and I smiled, feeling a sense of vindication that someone else felt the same outage I felt earlier this morning.
