Justice Mission
Page 19
Then why did he feel so awful?
Luke hurried to the elevator, calling himself all kinds of a coward. But he needed to think.
Outside the hospital, he climbed into the SUV and caught Bruno’s gaze on him in the rearview mirror. Even the dog looked sad. Or maybe disappointed in Luke.
“Stop. It’s best this way.”
Bruno huffed a sigh and lay down.
Luke cranked the SUV and headed away while his heart beat heavy with regret. Without thinking about it, he drove to Griffin’s. He could drown his sorrows in his coffee. Or a milkshake and a burger.
Leaving Bruno in the Tahoe, he went inside and grabbed a seat at the bar area. Violet Griffin was the only one around and she approached him with a smile. “Hi, Luke, how’s it going?”
“Fine.”
“You need to work on that.”
“What?”
“Being convincing.”
He grimaced. “I’ve got a lot on my mind right now.”
“Jordan?”
“Among other things.”
“Well, if you want to talk about it, I’m a good listener.”
“That’s okay, I’ll work it out. Could I get a cup of coffee?”
“Black?”
“Yep.”
“Coming up.” A minute later, she set the steaming mug in front of him.
“Thanks.”
“Sure. Could I ask you a question?”
“Go for it.”
She paused, then sighed. “Do you think you’ll ever figure out what happened to Jordy?”
He closed his eyes at the pain the question produced but nodded. “Yeah. I do.”
“You know my parents live next door to the Jamesons, right?”
“Yes.” He’d forgotten it until she just mentioned it, but he’d known that.
“My mom talks to Mrs. Jameson quite a bit. They’re all blindsided and reeling.”
“We all are.”
“I don’t think Zach’s handling this very well.”
“What do you mean?”
She shrugged. “Just a feeling I get. He comes in occasionally and just stares out the window. I’m worried about him.”
So she’d said before. “You seem to be mostly focused on Zach. Is there something else going on?”
A flush crept into her cheeks. “No, of course not. All the Jamesons are like family. It’s just...Zach seems to be taking it the hardest, that’s all.”
“I’ll keep an eye on him,” Luke said softly. He hadn’t noticed, but maybe that was because he’d been so lost in his own grief and roller-coaster emotions when it came to Sophie that he just hadn’t been aware.
“That would be great, Luke. Can I get you anything else? I’ve got to take off in a bit for a shift at the airport.”
“I’m all right for now but thank you.”
“Okay. Mom and Dad are both in the back if you need anything.” She swept the apron over her head and disappeared into the kitchen.
Luke sipped his coffee and decided Violet wasn’t completely truthful with him. When he’d first met her, he’d thought she and Zach were a couple because of the way they went back and forth with each other. Sniping about nothing, grumbling like an old married couple.
When Violet headed for the door a few minutes later, he turned. “Hey, Violet?”
She stopped at the door and glanced back at him. “Yes?”
“Why haven’t you and Zach ever gotten together?”
This time the flush darkened her cheeks to a deep red. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” And then she was gone.
He smirked. Right.
His mirth faded immediately, and he finished his coffee as he continued to second-guess himself. His mind knew Sophie was right. It wasn’t his fault his mother was dead. It wasn’t his fault Claude Jenks had almost killed Sophie. And it wasn’t his fault that Jordan was dead because he hadn’t found him in time. His heart wanted to argue.
Luke grabbed his keys and left the diner, heading home with Bruno. When he came to his front door, he noted it had been fixed temporarily and wondered who he had to thank for that. Probably one of his unit members. Gratitude swept over him even as the empty house slapped him in the face.
Never before Sophie had he minded coming home to the emptiness. Now he wanted her here.
Bruno whined and headed and down the hall to Sam’s room. “She’s not here, boy.”
The dog kept going. When he came back, he slumped onto his bed in front of the fireplace, eyeing Luke with the demand that he fix this.
Luke dropped onto the couch and decided to pray about the big hole in the vicinity of his heart that he had a feeling only Sophie could fill.
* * *
When Sophie walked into the office two days later, she had a smile on her face in spite of the heaviness in her heart. Her father had asked her to stay upstairs with him her first night home from the hospital and she’d agreed but couldn’t stand his well-meant hovering and sad, knowing eyes.
“It’s about that man who wouldn’t leave your side, isn’t it?” her father had asked.
“What?”
“Luke. He’s the deep sadness you can’t hide.”
“Yes. It’s about him, but I don’t want to talk about it because there’s nothing to say, okay? He made his choice and I’ll heal. And besides, a romance wouldn’t work now anyway.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’ve just got too much going on right now.”
“Meaning me and Trey?”
She’d blinked. “Well, no. I mean—”
“Honey, Trey and I love all that you do for us, but we can’t be your life. You need to go after what you want. What you need. Don’t let us stand in your way of a future full of happiness.”
“You’re not.” But Luke was.
Her father had hugged her and kissed the top of her head and that had been the end of it.
Except for the looks.
So, she’d gone downstairs to her place to escape. And been miserably lonely with only her thoughts to keep her company.
This morning, she’d rolled out of bed after a restless sleep filled with nightmares of drowning and headed to the office, determined to get her mind off her troubles.
She walked through the lobby toward her office and waved to Zach, whose desk was closest to her door. He stood. “Hey, everyone, Sophie’s back!”
A cheer went up and clapping started. Everyone was in the office today. Bree, Gavin, Reed, Tony, the Jameson brothers and Finn were on their feet.
After a long round of applause, Sophie pressed her hands to her heated cheeks. “Thanks, guys. You sure know how to embarrass a girl.” But they knew she loved their show of appreciation.
However, she couldn’t help but notice Luke wasn’t there.
Noah stepped out of Jordan’s old office. “Welcome back, Sophie. This place hasn’t been the same without you.” He hugged her and some of her sadness lifted. It was nice to be missed.
“I’m glad to be back, thanks.”
He looked down at her, concern drawing his brows together. “You know, no one would fault you for needing to take more time. You’ve been through a huge trauma.”
She shook her head. “I’m not going anywhere. This is my home and you guys are my family.” Even if staying meant seeing Luke every day. Things would never be the same between them—and maybe that was one of the reasons she wanted to stay. She hadn’t quite given up hope that he would eventually come around and realize he could love her in spite of his past.
“Good,” Noah said, “I’m glad we’ve got that settled.”
The door opened, and Katie stepped inside. Her right hand rested lightly on her abdomen and Sophie thought she caught a hint of tears in her eyes before she took a deep breath. “Hi, guys.”
“I came to pick up some of Jordan’s things, and—”
“And?”
“I also came to tell you all something since you’re here.”
The others gathered closer. Carter raised a brow and threw an arm across Zach’s shoulders. “Everything okay?”
Katie met Sophie’s gaze. Sophie smiled her encouragement.
“I’ve already told your parents and they told me I had to get down here ASAP and tell you.”
The brothers exchanged frowns. “Katie—”
She held up a hand and Noah fell silent. “Let me finish, please.” Her gaze swept the room, touching on all of them. “I just noticed Luke isn’t here.”
“He’ll be here soon,” Sophie said. “But it’s okay. Go ahead.”
Katie cleared her throat and Zach groaned. “Come on, Katie, spill it.”
“I am, I promise. I just wanted to say how much I love all of you and how grateful I am that I got to be married to Jordan.”
Sophie’s throat closed and from the sudden silence, she figured hers wasn’t the only one.
“Anyway,” Katie said, “I know we’ve all been terribly sad, but I’ve got some good news.”
The tension in the room lightened considerably.
“The day Jordan disappeared, we had an appointment that was supposed to take place after the graduation ceremony. Unfortunately, that never happened.” She drew in a deep breath and blinked back the tears that surged in her pretty blue eyes. “Anyway, I just wanted to let you all know that Jordan will live on in his son or daughter.” The last word slipped out on a whisper.
Sophie swiped a tear that insisted on leaking down her cheek.
Zach cleared his throat. “Aw, Katie, that’s...that’s...” He couldn’t finish his thought due to the emotions obviously overwhelming him. Sophie stepped forward and gripped his arm.
Carter let out a whoop. “What my brother’s trying to say is that’s fabulous.” He hugged her, and Katie let out a teary laugh.
One by one, the others congratulated and hugged her and Sophie could see how much the news meant to Jordan’s brothers.
“Hey, everyone,” Bree said, “not to steal Katie’s thunder, but I just got a text from Ynez. Stella’s had her puppies! I’m going to go see them. Is that okay, Noah?”
Ynez Dubois, the vet they used whenever they needed one.
Noah shook his head and laughed. “Sure, why not? Who can resist puppies?”
Sophie could tell he’d agreed because he knew they all needed all the lighthearted, feel-good moments they could get right now.
“I know it’s not nearly as exciting as Katie being pregnant,” Bree said, “but babies are babies, right?”
“Right,” Sophie said. Together, they walked the short distance from the offices to the vet’s.
Dr. Ynez Dubois met them at the door. “Wow, the whole crew is here. Follow me.”
Sophie held back and let the others go first. She wanted to see the pups, but Luke’s absence put a damper on her joy.
And then it was her turn to kneel next to the sleeping bundles of yellow, brown and black. “They’re so precious.”
“They’re going to need homes when they’re big enough,” Dr. Dubois said. Her lightly accented voice held a world of hope. “Any of you up for fostering?”
Sophie looked up at her and smiled. “I am.” She could use the company. And if the pup eventually was deemed able to be trained for the NYPD, then she would get to see the dog on a regular basis. If, for some reason, its temperament wasn’t compatible with K-9 work, then she’d have a pet. A win-win situation in her opinion.
“Hey, everyone, I heard a rumor that we’ve got some new additions that’ll be ready for training before too long.”
Sophie froze at the sound of Luke’s voice.
“Come take a look,” Gavin said.
Luke stepped up next to her and Sophie’s breath caught. He looked tired, but...peaceful?
“I’m surprised to see you here,” he said to her as Bruno shouldered his way to her and nudged her with his snout.
She shrugged and scratched Bruno’s head until he seemed satisfied with the attention and moved on to the area where the puppies were. After a brief sniff of the tiny bodies, at Stella’s low growl, he turned and walked to the far corner of the room, where he lay down.
Sophie looked back at the puppies, not wanting Luke to see the hurt—and longing—in her eyes. “I’ve got work to do.”
“Like what?”
“Like resend some emails to all the shelters and parks department staff to remind them Snapper’s still missing. Gotta stay on top of things, you know?” She was babbling. Not that it wasn’t true, but... She sighed. “Staying at home produces nothing but tears. I just...need to work.” She stayed on her knees, hoping Luke would take the hint and move on.
EIGHTEEN
Luke swallowed hard. He’d made up his mind about what he was going to do when he saw her again, but her cold shoulder sent his anxiety soaring—along with his determination. Nope, he wasn’t going to wimp out. And he wasn’t going to live his life in fear or self-blame. He drew in a deep breath and knelt beside her. “Hey, would you want to take a walk?” he whispered.
This time she met his gaze, startled. “Now?”
“Yes, please?”
She gave the nearest puppy’s head a gentle scratch. “Where?”
“Back to headquarters, I guess.” He glanced at the others still enamored with the pups and lightheartedly arguing which ones would be trained in what specialty. “While everyone else is otherwise occupied?”
“Um...okay. Why?”
“Because I want to talk to you and I don’t need a nosy audience. If we’re careful, I think we can slip out without being noticed.”
“They can be a nosy bunch, can’t they?” She offered him a small smile.
He took her hand and breathed easier when she didn’t pull away from him. He helped her to her feet, gathered Bruno’s leash and led her out the door. The dog trailed along a few steps behind, content just to be with them.
“I decided to take a lesson from Bruno—and you,” Luke said.
“What kind of lesson?”
“Look at him. He works hard, he’s good at what he does, but he knows how to chill and enjoy life. I want to be like that.”
“Okay.”
He laughed and shook his head. “You’re not going to make this easy, are you?”
Her eyes softened. “I’m not trying to make it difficult, Luke. I just need you to tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I’m thinking you were right.”
A smile started to curve her lips. “About?”
“You know what about.” He sighed. “I really messed things up with you and I’m sorry. I was very wishy-washy and inconsistent. You didn’t deserve that.”
“Thank you.”
“I know what I want, Sophie, I’m just praying you want it, too.”
“What’s that?”
“A future together. Honestly, Sophie, every time I look at my future, you’re in it. If I try to picture it without you, well, it’s just not possible.”
Tears flooded her eyes. “I thought you didn’t want to pursue anything between us until Jordan’s killer was found. What’s changed?”
He gave a slow nod. “That’s a fair question.” He paused, wanting, needing to find the right words. “I didn’t think I’d ever find someone I could trust my heart with again. Not after it took such a beating, but then you came along and the attraction I felt—and I think you felt—scared me. I think I was using the case to protect myself from my feelings for you. In other words, I was running like a coward.”
“You’re not a coward.”
“Thanks.”
“What kind of feelings?”
He huffed a short chuckle, then sucked in a deep breath. “Sophie, I’m not good at expressing myself. I never have been. After my mom was killed, I sort of locked everything up inside because I’d decided feelings were bad. Not all, of course, but you couldn’t have the good without the bad, so I just decided not to feel.”
“It was your coping mechanism. You were protecting yourself.”
“Maybe.” He sighed. “Probably. And the truth is, sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t. With you, it didn’t. I started falling in love with you the minute Jenks shoved you into my arms and we fell on the sidewalk.”
She gave a breathless puff of laughter. “What?”
“And you popped up like you weren’t hurting and said we needed to get back to headquarters. You were so spunky and determined and... I realized I was in trouble from that moment on.”
“Trouble, hmm?”
“Well, my heart anyway. And then when you were kidnapped and I almost didn’t get there in time...” He looked away and drew in yet another breath, steadying his emotions. “Walking away from you in the hospital was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done...and one of the dumbest.”
“I’m glad you realize that last part.”
He laughed. “I guess what I’m trying to say in my bumbling, awkward way is that life is short. Too short not to grab hold of something when it’s right. And I think you and I together are very, very right.”
* * *
Sophie couldn’t stop the tears from falling any more than she could stop the tide from coming in. “You really think it’s right?”
“Yes. I really do. I’ve come to the conclusion that age is just a number. Everyone is different and I was silly to judge you based on a number. You’re so very...you. Young, but much older than I am in a lot of ways.”
“Because of the way I grew up, probably. I had a lot of responsibility on my shoulders and had to grow up fast. Just like you did, if you think about it.”
“Maybe. All I know is that I couldn’t stand it if I lost you, Sophie.”