See Jane Love

by Debby Conrad

  “I’m sure.” Joining Sara at the table, Janie ripped open the box of crackers and bit into one.

  “I just hope I don’t go into labor on Christmas,” Sara continued. “Since my due date’s the twentieth I should luck out, considering I was early with both Travis and Livvy.”

  Janie nodded in agreement, swallowed, and reached for another saltine.

  “Don’t forget, Thanksgiving is a week from tomorrow.”

  “Sara,” Janie said, showing her annoyance. “I know when Thanksgiving is.”

  “Well, I wasn’t sure. You’ve seemed so pre-occupied lately. Anyway, Mom and Dad will be here Wednesday evening and they’ll be staying until New Years. Alex got a twenty-four-pound turkey. He wants to make sure we have plenty of leftovers for sandwiches.” Sara smiled, then added, “Why don’t you invite Gertie?”

  “Gertie’s going on a cruise,” Janie said between bites. “She asked me to go along, but the thought of those waves . . .” She rocked her hand back and forth and made an unpleasant face.

  Sara stared at her quizzically, then glanced at the box of crackers. Suddenly, her gaze fell to Janie’s stomach. “My God, you’re pregnant!”

  Janie didn’t bother to deny it. She’d been wanting to tell Sara for some time now, but just didn’t know how or what to say. Now, she wouldn’t have to. Since she’d only gained four pounds, she didn’t look pregnant. Although she finally had breasts she could be proud of.

  “It’s Gabe’s, isn’t it?”

  “Duh?” was all Janie said, munching on her cracker.

  “Does he know?”

  “Not yet. I thought morning sickness was supposed to go away after the first three months.”

  “For most women it does. But I remember reading where some women are nauseous the whole nine months.”

  “That’ll be just my luck.”

  Sara stared at her, blinking. “You’re four months along?” she asked, counting on her fingers. “My, God, what are you going to do?”

  Shrugging, Janie said, “I’m going to have a baby.” She offered her sister a quick smile, then burst into tears.

  “Aw, honey.” Sara struggled to get to her feet, then leaned over Janie and hugged her. “Don’t cry. Everything’s going to be okay.”

  “I can’t help it. It must be my hormones,” Janie said, whimpering. When Sara pulled away, Janie wiped at her tears with a napkin. She’d been crying a lot lately, and it was embarrassing. It didn’t matter whether it was over an old movie, a good book, or just thinking about Gabe. She sighed miserably. “I love him, Sara.”

  Sara eased herself back into the chair and met Janie’s gaze. “I know you do, honey. But it would never work between you two. You said so yourself.”

  Janie sniffed. “I know. But I have to tell him about the baby.”

  Sara’s expression was one of sinking despair. “Yes, I suppose you’re right.” Then her face brightened. “Don’t worry, Alex will tell him.”

  “Sara, I’m not going to ask Alex to tell Gabe something like this. I’m going to tell him myself. Face to face. In fact, I’ve already booked a flight to New York. I leave in the morning.”

  * * * * * * * * * *

  “I would think you’d be a little more excited about the offer from J & B Publishing. Seven figures is nothing to scoff at,” Doree Meyers said, dabbing her mouth with a white linen napkin.

  Gabe sat across the table from her at Sardi’s, picking at his linguine with clam sauce. Doree had been his agent ever since he’d sold his first book. The offer was for the sixth book in his detective series. “I’m not scoffing. I’m just not in a very good mood.” He pushed his plate aside, his appetite gone.

  “You haven’t been in a good mood for months.” She looked at him above her tortoiseshell half glasses, took a bite of salad, and chewed. Doree was a rail thin woman in her late fifties. She had spikey, silver-streaked hair and was as savvy as they came. “So, who is she?”

  Gabe shrugged and averted his gaze. “Nobody. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “The woman that has you in such a foul mood.” He felt the intensity of her look. “I get it. You don’t want to talk about her.”

  “There’s nothing to talk about. It’s over.”

  “She must have been pretty special.”

  He struggled to maintain an even tone. “Nobody special,” he lied. “Just someone I spent some time with last summer.”

  “Maybe you should think about seeing a shrink,” she said as she motioned for a busboy to refill her water glass.

  “I don’t need a shrink.”

  “It’s nothing to be ashamed about. I’ve been seeing one for years.”

  Gabe snorted. “You have? Whatever for?”

  “To learn how to deal with big time authors like yourself. I don’t like feeling intimidated. It makes it hard to do my job.”

  “You? Intimidated? That’ll be the day. You scared the hell out of me the first time we met. You still do sometimes.”

  “Well, then, all the money I spent on therapy was worth it.”

  Gabe laughed and rested his elbows on the table. One million, four hundred thousand dollars. He should be celebrating, but all he felt was empty inside. He wished he could call Janie and share his good news, but then he’d have to tell her he’d lied to her about his occupation. That would just open a new can of worms. Stupid idea, he told himself. Besides, would she really care? She was very likely dating someone by now. Especially after her sexual awakening. She’d be like a kid in a candy store, wanting to try all sorts of new things. Although, a part of him refused to believe that about her.

  “We should talk about you doing a book tour,” Doree said, breaking into his thoughts.

  “No tours. No signings. You know how I feel about both. That’s one of the reasons I write under a pseudonym. I enjoy my privacy.”

  Doree studied him for a moment, then cocked her head to the side. “You still haven’t told your brother you’re a successful author, have you?”

  “My brother and I aren’t exactly on speaking terms at the moment.”

  “He still thinks you’re a cab driver, doesn’t he?”

  Gabe averted his gaze and didn’t answer. He’d probably always be a screw-up in Alex’s eyes. Alex constantly reminded him about all the trouble he’d caused in high school, and now, after what happened with Janie, he’d probably never forgive him. Not that Gabe blamed him. What he’d done was stupid. As soon as Janie mentioned having an affair, he should have run the other way and not looked back. What a jackass he’d been.

  “Oh, by the way, Marcy loved that Jed didn’t get the girl this time. It came as quite a surprise. Tell me,” she said, leaning forward, “why didn’t he get the girl?”

  Marcy Polk was Gabe’s editor at J & B, and Jed Belmont was the protagonist in his series. “Jed always gets the girl at the end. This will humble him a little.” Something Gabe knew a lot about. The pain he’d suffered walking out of Janie’s life is what propelled him to finish his last book. The raw emotions and the harsh realities that he’d wrote about were real. Pushing thoughts of Janie Callahan from his mind, he said, “Maybe we should order champagne. My treat.”

  Doree waved a hand. “Don’t waste your money. We’ll do it next time, when you’re in a better mood.” Fat chance of that happening, he thought as Doree signaled for their waiter. “Check, please,” she said, pulling out a credit card.

  Outside, Gabe put Doree in a cab, then hailed another one for himself. When they reached his apartment building, he paid the driver and hopped out. Through the glass doors, he saw a woman standing in the lobby who reminded him of Janie.

  He swore. Every redhead he saw lately made him think of Janie. When was he going to stop thinking about her? he wondered, barely acknowledging the doorman as he stormed inside the building and headed for the elevator. He looked straight ahead with an unwavering gaze.

  * * * * * * * * * * *

  Janie’s mouth fell open as Gabe walked right past
her without a single look her way. He must be angry about something, she thought, wondering if maybe she should leave and come back later. Then, squaring her shoulders, she hurried to catch up to him.

  “Gabe?” she said just as the elevator doors opened. She saw his broad shoulders tense and then, slowly, he turned around to face her.

  Although she’d never forgotten a single detail of his face, he looked different somehow. Tired maybe, she decided, seeing the dark circles under his eyes. And his tan had faded a little. But dressed in jeans and a black leather jacket, he still had that deliciously, sexy, bad-boy image.

  “Janie,” was all he said as his eyes showed a hint of a smile.

  Her memories of him were vividly clear. The way he’d kissed her, touched her, and made her come apart at the seams. A shiver ran up her spine, remembering, and she tried to throttle the dizzying current racing through her. This wasn’t the time to reminisce.

  He looked her over slowly, seductively, his heated gaze lingering on her breasts a little longer than necessary, as far as she was concerned. She’d taken her wool pea coat off in the lobby, now wishing she hadn’t. Crossing her arms, she draped the coat in front of her and swallowed thickly.

  After his thorough inspection, he said, “You look great.”

  She wasn’t so sure she believed him. She’d had a nauseous stomach for the past two months. Most days her skin had a green tinge to it.

  “What brings you to New York?”

  “A little of this, and a little of that,” she said, avoiding his dark eyes. “I was hoping we could talk.”

  His gaze ran over her once again, as if he were searching for something. Could he possibly suspect why she’d come?

  Sara had begged her to call Gabe on the phone rather than confront him in person. But Janie had refused. She needed to see his reaction firsthand. And when she told him, how would he take the news? Would he be angry or happy? Oh, how she wished she knew.

  “Let’s go upstairs,” he said, grazing her elbow and leading her into the elevator. She was conscious of his warm hand through the sleeve of her sweater.

  When the doors closed, Gabe stuck a key in the lock marked Penthouse, and Janie’s brows shot up. The high-rise looked pretty pricey as it was, but the penthouse? They rode to the top of the building without speaking, Gabe occasionally glancing her way. Her knees were clacking so loudly, she was afraid he’d hear them over the hum of the elevator.

  Moments later, the doors opened inside a fancy foyer and they stepped out. Gabe unlocked the door and held it open for her to enter. The apartment was enormous with gleaming hardwood floors and lots of windows. Dropping her coat and purse on the black leather sectional, she walked to one of the windows and stared out at Central Park. “You must make pretty good tips to afford a place like this.” She spun around to face him, expecting him to laugh at her joke.

  But Gabe wasn’t laughing, nor was he smiling. “I do all right. Can I get you something to drink?” he asked, shrugging out of his jacket.

  “No, but thanks,” she said, making herself comfortable on the sectional. It was obvious he didn’t think his living quarters were any of her business. She took another glance around. Not only was it fancy, but neat and tidy, too. Maybe he was subletting the place, or maybe the apartment belonged to a lady friend, possibly his lover. Quickly, she pushed the last thought from her mind. “Alex and Sara send their love.”

  He snorted and sat down on the other end of the sectional. “Do they know you’re here?”

  “Yes. I told Sara yesterday that I was coming to New York and that I planned to stop in and say hi to you. That’s how I got your address. I flew in this morning. I checked in at a hotel, and then I took a quick peek at the city. This is my first time in New York.” She knew she was rambling, but she didn’t care. She had every right to be nervous.

  “So, you’re here on business, or pleasure?”

  “A little of both,” she said, plucking a magazine from the glass coffee table and flipping through it. A naked woman stared back at her from one of the pages. Janie quickly closed it and set it aside.

  A brief smile touched his lips. “Sorry about that.”

  Shrugging, she said, “That’s okay. I understand. You’re a bachelor. It’s perfectly normal for a bachelor to like that sort of . . .” She glanced at the magazine, then looked up at him. “You are still a bachelor, aren’t you?”

  “Last I checked.” She smiled with relief. But her smile quickly faltered when Gabe asked, “So, is your visit to me business, or pleasure?”

  “A little of both,” she said again, then blurted, “I’m going to have a baby. We’re going to have a baby.”

  Gabe didn’t so much as blink. He couldn’t blink, couldn’t move. He’d never been so stunned in all his life. A baby. Janie was going to have his baby. He half anticipated, half dreaded the idea. Was he ready for this?

  Sitting motionless for what seemed like forever, his gaze drifted over her again. He’d already checked her out thoroughly downstairs in the lobby. Even through the baby blue sweater, he’d noticed her breasts were slightly larger. But he’d assumed she was back to her old tricks and had stuffed them with tissues. And though her waistline hadn’t looked as trim as he remembered, he’d simply contributed it to the bulky sweater.

  She crossed her shapely legs, then uncrossed them, while searching his face. “Say something,” she told him. “Anything. Yell at me if it will make you feel better.”

  Narrowing his eyes, he asked, “Why would I want to yell at you?”

  “I don’t know. I just thought . . . I don’t know what I thought,” she said on a sigh.

  Torn by conflicting emotions, he looked at her for a long time, then asked softly, “Do you want this baby, Janie?”

  “Yes. God, yes. I have to admit, at first I was a little frightened and unsure of the whole thing. But, yes, I want him. Her. I don’t care which.”

  He smiled, feeling relieved.

  “So, you’re not angry?”

  “No,” he said firmly. “I’m not angry. Scared? You’d better believe it.”

  “Me, too. But we’ll be fine. The baby and me,” she clarified. “I didn’t come here to ask for anything. I mean, I don’t expect anything from you. I just wanted you to know.”

  He watched as she fidgeted with her hands in her lap, tugged at her black skirt and then toyed with her hair before getting to her feet. “Well, that’s all I came to say.” She grabbed her coat and purse, clutched them tightly with both hands and started to move toward the door.

  Gabe sprang to his feet and blocked her path. “Whoa,” he said, taking her by the upper arms and staring down at her. “Not so fast.”

  Janie blinked up at him and moistened her lips.

  “So, you’re just going to drop this on me, and then walk out of here?”

  Swallowing, she said, “I don’t know what else to say.”

  “What about us?” he asked, mixed feelings surging through him.

  She looked at him as if he’d backhanded her.

  Whatever he’d expected her to do, it wasn’t that. What happened to the Janie who’d said, “What if I told you I’d fallen in love with you?” Had she only said that to try to get him to stay in Erie? Was what they’d had together just about sex, and nothing more?

  Dropping her arms, he ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “Don’t tell me, let me guess. You’re one of those modern women who thinks she doesn’t need a man in her life except for sexual gratification. You probably think it’s not important that a child has both a mother and a father in his life.”

  “I never said that! Don’t put words in my mouth, Montero.”

  “So, you do think it’s important that our baby has both his mother and his father in his life.”

  “Of course, I think it’s important.”

  “Good.” They were finally getting somewhere. “Then we’re both in agreement,” he said. “What do you think about Vegas?”

  “Ve--gas?” she said,
tripping over the word.

  “Yes. We could fly to Vegas in the morning. I think we should get married as soon as possible.” He was as surprised by his suggestion as she seemed to be. But what choice did they have?

  Dropping her purse and coat to the floor, Janie stumbled backward and almost fell over. Gabe caught her in his arms. Suddenly, she didn’t look so well.

  After settling her on the sofa, he grabbed a bottled water from the refrigerator behind the bar and brought it to her. “Here, drink this,” he ordered, practically shoving it in her face.

  “I’m all right,” she said, pushing the bottle away.

  “Drink it. And when’s the last time you’ve had a decent meal?”

  He watched as she took a couple swallows.

  “I’ve been eating,” she said. “Or trying to, at least. It’s just that nothing much agrees with me. I’ve been mostly living on saltines and bananas.”

  Gabe swore and paced the area in front of the sectional. “Why did you wait so long to tell me? What’s it been, four months?” he asked, as if it were nothing but a lucky guess. He knew exactly how long it had been since he’d seen her last. Four months, one week and two days.

  “Yes,” she said, tipping her chin up in that defiant little way of hers. “I’m sorry for waiting so long, but I just didn’t know how to tell you. To be honest, I was scared. I only told Sara yesterday.” She paused, and then added, “And stop yelling at me, or you’re going to make me cry. I cry over nothing, you know.” And then her bottom lip jutted forward and her eyes filled with tears.

  Rushing to her side, Gabe sat down on the sofa and pulled her to his chest. “Don’t cry, Janie. I’m sorry I yelled at you. It’s just that this is all a little . . .”

  “Overwhelming?” she asked between sobs.

  “Yes. No. We’ll get through it okay. If you’re feeling up to it, we’ll leave for Vegas in the morning, and by tomorrow night we’ll be married.”

  She lifted her face from his chest, sniffed, and wiped her tears with the backs of her hands. “It’s not that simple. What about blood tests and--”

  “Nevada doesn’t require blood tests to get a marriage license, and there’s no waiting period. All you need is a driver’s license.” He knew because Jed, his protagonist in his detective books, had almost gone off the deep end and married one of his lovers while in Vegas. Gabe had done his research into the matter.