Till Death Do Us Part

by E. Jamie

  They didn't speak, making no more promises except with their bodies. She dipped her tongue into his belly button expecting him to laugh. He didn't. He groaned. She raised an eyebrow at him. Who knew? She never knew his belly button was an erotic zone for him. What a time to learn it. She swallowed a lump of sadness. She caressed it and smiled, watching his cock harden. She moved farther down to his straining length. She swirled her tongue over the hot tip, loving the taste of him, memorizing it. He raised his hips begging her with his body to take more. She watched his face when she took him ever so slowly into her mouth.

  He shut his eyes and arched his head back. His face was bathed in the firelight, which gave his skin a soft red, warm glow, the appearance of a golden god. When his eyes opened, they were shining pools of dark blue glass. “Aaaahh, God, Sara,” he said, unable to keep silent when he neared the edge. She grazed her teeth along his shaft, the way she knew he liked, and he cried out and filled her mouth with his salty thick, essence. His hips moved uncontrollably against her face while she continued to suck all his release from him.

  She smiled and slid up against him. Leaning on her elbow she stroked his jaw. “Did you like that?” she asked for her own vanity more than any doubt she had.

  "God, I fucking taught you well, woman,” he said, which made her laugh. “Give me a second to recuperate here, and I'm gonna make you come when I'm inside you."

  She trailed a finger around one of his nipples. “Take your time, my love. Time's stopped, remember?” she reminded him, wishing it were true. She dropped a kiss on his chest.

  Connor stuck to his promise. When he made love to her, she felt as if her skin had been turned inside out. Everything curled. He got that same look in his eyes when he gently entered her, taking his time so she'd feel every thick inch of him pushing inside. His eyes locked with hers when her hands came around to stroke his back. She finally understood what he was telling her with his eyes, what he had always been telling her when he thrust inside of her. "You're mine."

  She wrapped her legs around his waist, and they took their time rocking slowly.

  "You'll always be mine. No piece of paper is gonna change that," he told her without saying a word, the love in his eyes speaking for him.

  She closed her eyes against his unspoken words. She couldn't let that be true, not if she was going to go back and have a hope in hell of having any type of life with Aaron. She dug her nails into his behind to draw him in deeper. Oh, how she wanted to stay! To stay here with him, to live in this earth shattering ecstasy forever, but reality slammed into her mind. She couldn't leave Aaron, not now. Later? she wondered as he pushed her higher, gripping her hips and moaning her name. No, she convinced herself. She loved Aaron. She had made a life with Aaron. She was a grown-up now and had made a grown-up decision to stay with the man she loved. “Oh God.” She sighed when she felt her orgasm approach. She loved Connor, too. “I love you,” she whispered against his mouth as he kissed her. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” she chanted, feeling his thrusts grow harder, signaling he was about to come.

  "Always,” he said, his eyes locking with hers, holding them prisoner with the word that had been etched on their wedding bands.

  He wanted her to say the word, promise it. Sara ached to say it, but she knew for both their sakes she couldn't. If she said it, she'd never be able to leave him. She bit her lip so hard that she broke the skin in an effort to keep the word locked inside.

  It was his last selfish act, one last-ditch effort to get her to change her mind, and she refused him. She could see the anger well up from deep inside him, and he grabbed her behind, lifted her up, and slammed into her for a few more times before he cried out.

  She grabbed at him while he plunged in hard and deep over and over. “Oh, God. Oh yes, oh dear God, Connor, harder, more,” she begged, arching against him. He brought her hips against his as he continued to pound with his anger, his love. Her nails dug into his behind urging him on.

  The time for gentleness had passed.

  "Oh fuck. God, Sara,” he called out, coming hard and thick, deep inside her.

  Sara's orgasm slammed into her, expelling her strength, and still he continued thrusting, emptying every last drop into her.

  He collapsed on top of her and began to cry. “I'm sorry. Oh, Sara, I'm so sorry."

  "I know. It's okay,” she said, her eyes welling with tears.

  "No it's not. I didn't want it to be like that. I wanted to take it slow, show you that I love you no matter what."

  "You did, Connor, in so many ways. Tonight was beautiful, every part of it,” she assured him as his tears fell from his eyes onto her bare breasts.

  * * * *

  They watched the sun come up over Manhattan together, standing wrapped in a thick brown blanket in front of the window. “It looks breathtaking, doesn't it?” Sara asked while in Connor's arms.

  "Yeah,” he whispered. His arms tightened around her. “But you beat any sunrise, hands down."

  She turned around in his arms and kissed him. “Thank you,” she said stroking his jaw. “Last night was perfect."

  "What time does your plane leave again?” he asked with sadness in his eyes.

  "Eight. Maybe I can get some sleep on the plane, since I got absolutely none last night,” she said with a devilish grin.

  "You're welcome.” He smiled. Then the smile disappeared.

  "What?” she asked under his intense study.

  "You know, I can't imagine you old?” he said, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

  "Trust me. I'll most likely end up with a thousand wrinkles and be all lumpy,” she said trying to lighten the mood.

  "I'd give anything to grow old with you."

  "Connor, please,” she said with a whimper and swallowed a sob, the pain of their impending separation making her heart ache. “We'll still be a part of each other's lives."

  "Because of Nathan."

  "Of course."

  Connor sighed. “It doesn't matter if you're all old and lumpy. You'll still be the most beautiful perfect thing in the world to me."

  She leaned in and placed an ear over his heart. She closed her eyes and listened.

  "What are you doing?” he asked, stroking the top of her head.

  "Something I wish I had done the last night of our honeymoon, taking your heartbeat with me so I know you're okay."

  "Sara, my heart may be beating, but I'm dying inside."

  She clutched at him and began to cry.

  After she got dressed, he offered to get a car and drive her to the airport.

  "You really shouldn't. Word could get back to Aaron."

  "Okay, I'll be by on the weekend to take Nathan out and tell him I'm leaving."

  She clutched her bag. He helped her slip her coat on. “Are you going back to Florida?"

  "I don't know. Maybe I'll end up in Texas, for all I know. I'll let you know when I have a set address. I already gave my notice where I tend bar. Maybe I can get something like that again wherever I end up,” he said. He held open the door for her, but Sara made no move to walk through it. Instead, she turned around and pulled his mouth down for one final kiss. His hands clutched at her face, and she kissed him good-bye for the final time.

  "Well, well, now isn't this interesting."

  They broke apart startled at the voice behind them, and Sara gasped in horror when she turned and found the cold, smiling eyes of Steven Sondheim staring gleefully back at them from the hallway.

  Sara's eyes widened in disbelief. Of all the people to catch them. God damn it! She wanted to scream.

  "Why, you're like a regular little ping-pong ball, aren't you, my darling?” Steven asked, obviously enjoying the fear on her face. “First me, then Blondie here, then Aaron, and now back to Blondie. You sure like variety don't you, honey?” He traced her cheek with his finger, and Sara darted away from him but not before Connor slapped at his hand.

  "Touch her again, and I'll kill you."

  "You di
sappoint me, Nolan. Well, for one thing, I thought you had more pride. Did she even bother to change the sheets before she fucked your best friend?"

  Steven was sent slamming against the wall when Connor pounced on him with his fists.

  "Connor, no!” Sara pleaded, trying to pull him back as he continued to hit Steven. “Please don't do this! You're going to bring up security, and that might cause a scene, Connor. Damn it, would you listen to me?” Sara yelled pulling on his hair.

  He cried out and stood up. “Ow, woman! What the hell was that for?” He touched his head and glared at her. “I've wanted to bash that aristocratic nose in for years!"

  Steven coughed and got to his feet. “I think her point, lover boy, is that she doesn't want a crowd so that her husband doesn't find out what a slut he's married to."

  Connor lifted his fist. “Watch your mouth, Sodomy."

  Sara grabbed his arm. “Please. I'm begging you, let it go."

  "Yeah, be nice to me, Connor. I've got you by the balls.” Steven laughed, smacking his hands together.

  "Sara, he'll probably tell Aaron anyway."

  "Maybe I will. Maybe I won't. It'd be less than you deserved for what you did to me."

  They both ignored him. “Let me worry about that, please. Just go back inside and forget about him. Call me when you find a place, okay?” she asked.

  Rage burned in Connor's eyes.

  "Okay?” Sara urged, tugging on his shirt.

  "Fine, fine. I'll call you,” he promised, cupping her cheek.

  Sara wanted to kiss him again, but Steven was watching them so she just watched Connor go back inside his suite and slam the door.

  "Aww. The party's over. Was it good for you, baby?” Steven asked, following her down in the elevator.

  "Go to hell,” she spat. She was reminded of her relief that she had escaped a marriage to this asshole.

  Steven grabbed her arm when she tried to walk away from him after the elevator let them off. “You fucking little bitch,” he said, jerking her toward him. “Do you think I'm going to let you get away with tossing me aside like one of your lovers? No, sweetie. This is going to play out like I choose."

  "If you don't get your disgusting hands of me, I will scream,” she said, looking around to see if she could call any guard or hotel employee in the lobby without bringing too much attention to herself.

  "No you won't. Don't want to cause a scene, remember?” he reminded her, as if he could sense the reason for her hesitation. He gave her a cold smile. “I'm gonna enjoy myself with this little bit of knowledge before I bring down your little Norman Rockwell existence. It'll be more fun if you don't know when the other shoe is going to drop."

  "You're a sick bastard,” Sara said, her voice quivering with both hate and fear.

  "Some call it determined.” He shrugged, laughing as he walked away, leaving her shaking in the lobby.

  Oh God, what now? Aaron could never know what she had done. Her stomach was churning with panic. She wasn't terrified so much for herself but for the pain she knew it would cause Aaron. It had been good-bye for her and Connor. She'd made her decision to stay with her husband, and last night had just been a final closing of the door on her old life. What good would it do for Aaron to know when Sara never intended to do it again? From this moment on, she intended to stay loyal to her marriage. Somehow, she had to stop Steven from telling Aaron, whenever he intended to do it. She ran to the front desk and asked to use the phone, calling the one person that she could trust who was well versed in the art of deception. “Mom, I need your help,” Sara said, her eyes filling with tears.

  * * * *

  Steven Sondheim would no longer be a problem. Isabella had assured her before hanging up.

  Good Lord. Sara shot up in her seat. She hoped Isabella hadn't put out a hit on him. Sara had heard rumors that Lorenzo Castellano had mafia ties, but she didn't ask Isabella, and her mother hadn't been forthcoming. Sara closed her eyes then opened them again when the announcement came over the plane's intercom system that they were now beginning their descent into Boston. Home, she thought. She ached to see Nathan. Even though she'd only been gone one day, it felt like a lifetime. A whole other life. Sara shivered, thinking of the life she was going back to and of the one she was leaving behind. Her body still hummed and glowed from Connor's possession. She went over every single moment in her mind and found her body responding too strongly. She squirmed in her seat and forced herself to stop.

  Sara reached into her dark brown leather Burberry purse and felt for the packet of three pills the doctor at the clinic had given her. She should've taken it with breakfast, but she had been putting it off. She spent three hours trying to make herself take them. Damn it, she didn't want to get pregnant. She had to take the fucking pills or else ... Her blood ran cold. What if she already was? She lifted her hand to her mouth and stared out the window. What if Connor had made her pregnant? If she took the pills now, wouldn't she be killing it? No, it was too soon, wasn't it? The point was to stop conception before it took place. But still ... Sara looked at the pills again. She couldn't do it. But what if she did become pregnant? She and Aaron hadn't made love since a few weeks before the accident. He'd know it wasn't his, and he'd have no question in his mind of whose it was.

  That was insignificant though compared to the life that could be growing inside her at this second. Connor had never seen Nathan born, had never seen him as an infant. What if there was going to be another child? You stupid, stupid, selfish bitch! What the hell are you doing bringing another kid into this circus? She took a deep breath and forced herself to calm down. She might not even be pregnant. She touched the packet again. If she took these, that wouldn't be a problem. Sara raised her eyes. God, help me. Oh that's good, Sara. Ask God to help you after you've committed adultery.

  She followed the other passengers off the plane and into the arrivals terminal. She couldn't take them. Sara pulled the pills out and tossed them into a nearby garbage pail. You're a spineless idiot. You can't admit that the reason you didn't take those pills is because you want Connor's baby. You want Connor. You want to be a family with him, not Aaron. You're too scared to admit you made the wrong choice. Sara shut off the voice in her head and gathered her son up in her arms when he leaped at her after breaking into a run from Jessica and Aaron.

  "Mommy! Mommy!” Nathan showered her face with kisses. “Did you bring me presents?"

  "Of course.” Sara laughed holding her son. She focused on her family. She had made the right choice. If she were pregnant ... well, she'd deal with that when it happened. Aaron loved her. It was that security that bound her to him. The smile on her face faltered. No, she told herself. It wasn't just that. She loved him. But you love Connor more, her heart taunted her.

  She bent over and hugged Aaron tight after she greeted Jessica.

  "I missed you,” he whispered in her ear.

  It was on the tip of her tongue to say, “I missed you too,” but the lie wouldn't come, and Sara never thought she could despise herself more.

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  Chapter Fifteen

  Two weeks later, Sara discovered she wasn't pregnant. Her period came that February morning, and she was devastated. She admitted to herself that she had wanted Connor's baby. She took to staring out the window at home and at work for the past two weeks, alone with her thoughts and her memories. There had still been no word from Connor about whether he had found a place yet. Sara was dying to hear his voice again. This is crazy! she told herself. You can't have your life with Aaron and want Connor, too. You made your bed, woman, lie in it.

  Sara knelt by Nathan's bed and watched him sleep. She'd make this work. She'd forget about a future with Connor and make her marriage work. For Nathan. For herself.

  Nathan's eyes fluttered open. “Mommy?"

  Sara cringed, guilty over having woken him. “Sorry, sweetheart. Go back to sleep.” She stroked his blond hair.

  "You sad?” he asked, lifting his f
ingers to her face.

  Sara blinked in surprise. She hadn't realized she'd been crying.

  "You wanna borrow my teddy?” he asked, yawning as he held up his brown bear for her.

  She didn't recognize it. “Who gave you that?"

  "Daddy. My other daddy."

  "Oh,” she whispered. “No, that's okay, sweetie. You keep him.” She kissed his soft cheek, watched him drift off again, and walked downstairs to see Aaron had come back inside and was now sitting by the fire. She smiled and came up behind him. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed the top of his head, love for him washing over her in reassuring waves. She'd be happy with him. That was never a doubt in her mind. Loving Aaron was not the problem. Loving him more than Connor was.

  "Maggie was telling me about this spa she heard about in Colorado. They have a special program for people suffering from paralysis. What do you think? Be a nice vacation, and after you're all healed, you can teach me how to ski,” she joked. She heard a slight sniffle and was shocked to see that Aaron had tears in his eyes. Her stomach knotted in panic. Had Steven somehow gotten to him? Her mother had vowed to take Sondheim Industries away from him if he breathed a word about Connor and Sara. He had appeared to back off, but what if she was wrong?

  "What's wrong?” Sara asked walking in front of him. She sat down in the armchair across from him.

  "I love you,” Aaron told her.

  "I know that. Why are you crying?” Her heart raced.

  "Because loving you is no excuse for what I've done, but it's the only excuse I have."

  Sara shook her head. “I don't understand. What did you do?"

  "I can walk, Sara."

  Sara stared from him down to the wheelchair he sat in. “What? How?” she asked. She was overwhelmed with a mix of both joy and fear.

  "I've been able to walk for a few weeks now,” he explained closing his eyes.