“It’s okay”?
“I found out yesterday. I’m not ... not ... not ...”
You’re not ...?
“I’m not pregnant!!”
Aria’s outburst was followed by the type of silence you experience at a funeral. That’s the impression it gave me anyway.
... What? ... Pregnant? ... What is she ...?
Aria crossed her arms in front of her and stood firmly with a look on her face that said “What do you think of that?!”
Whoosh.
Something shaped awfully similarly to Shirayuki came flying out of her body.
“... Shirayuki?!” I cried.
It finally got to the point where she just fell over backwards as she sat there.
“A-Aria! What are you thinking?! Why did you bring that up?”
“Y-Y-You’re such an irresponsible guy! I was worrying by myself the whole time, you know?!”
“Worrying about what?!”
“Well, when I was young, my father told me that kissing leads to pregnancy ...”
I don’t even …! Holmes family! At least educate your daughter about sex properly!
“There’s no way you’re gonna get pregnant over something like that! Even an elementary student knows that!”
“What are you acting all high and mighty for?! Then how does a person get pregnant?! Tell me!”
“I-I-I can’t tell you that, you imbecile!”
“I’ll bet you don’t even know!”
“I know!”
“Then tell me!”
“I’m not telling you anything, you moron!”
We argued back and forth like this until we were both red in the face and glaring at each other so closely that our foreheads nearly touched. It was during this exchange that unbeknownst to us, Shirayuki had regained consciousness and disappeared from the apartment like a cloud of smoke.
Oh, great ... Just how is this going to end up?
Second Bullet Catching a Sword Blade with Bare Hands
The following day, Aria and Shirayuki both started behaving oddly, but their actions were as different as day and night. Aria, whose motto is “investigate and learn everything on your own,” went to the library, and starting with stamens and pistils, she taught herself all about the wonders of life. This is how she came to realize that everything she knew about health and physical education was as wrong as the Ptolemaic theory. Following this, for a brief period, Aria developed a strange habit of turning red and stiffening up every time she saw me, but she seemed to be the type who could change her mindset quickly, and soon enough she returned to being the impish little Aria who abuses me for hardly any reason. I really don’t need this.
On the other hand, Shirayuki had clearly been avoiding us ever since that incident. Until now, she had always insisted on looking after me to the point of being obnoxious, but after her fight with Aria, she started hiding herself like a small, overly cautious animal whenever she saw me.
It was in the midst of all this that one day during lunch...
“Tohyama, mind if I sit here?”
Sitting in that noisy school cafeteria, I was enjoying a Salisbury steak lunch set with Aria, who had brought her favorite peach buns, when a guy, so good-looking you would do a double take, approached me. This guy was Ryou Shiranui. He was a member of Assault, and he gave me that sort of smile that only effeminate guys could. A while back, he was a classmate of mine with whom I would often form a party. His butei rank is “A” and having an “A” rank can mean a lot of things, but Shiranui was a pretty well-rounded person. He could be relied upon for his skills in hand-to-hand combat, with knives, or pistols. His weapon of choice is an MK 23 equipped with a laser sight—also very reliable. When he put his tray with its club sandwich on the table, I slid mine over but he returned it to its original position. He even remembered to nod his head in apology. This guy is a real straight arrow.
…I might also mention that Shiranui was quite popular with the ladies.
Of course he would be. He’s got the looks, and he’s a person of character, a combination not often found at Butei High. But the odd thing is ... apparently, he doesn’t have a girlfriend. He, Muto, and I (before Aria started following me around all over the place) used to hang out together after school often, and there was never anyone of interest to him.
“I heard all about it Kinji. Let me interrogate you a bit. Try to escape and I’ll run you over.”
The spiky-haired guy who just sat across from me, pushing my tray back with his, was Goki Muto. He was a skilled member of Logi (Logistics division), and an automobile nut who could drive anything considered a vehicle, from steam locomotives to nuclear submarines. As for his weapon, he likes to use a Colt Python with a revolving cylinder for its ease of maintenance. It didn’t hold very many rounds, and it couldn’t be outfitted with a suppressor. As a gun suitable for a butei, it was out of the question. Muto, on the other hand, wasn’t very popular with the ladies. He wasn’t a bad guy, but he was rather rough around the edges.
“What do you mean ‘interrogate me’”?
“Kinji, I heard you had a fight with Hotogi.”
. . . That’s Butei High for you. Information—or should I say “rumors” spread abnormally fast. More to the point, what are you acting so moody for, Muto?
“Hotogi was looking really depressed, you know? What happened?”
“Nothing happened between us ... Wait a second. You saw Shirayuki?”
“Shiranui told me that he saw her in the greenhouse trying to divine her future by pulling petals off flowers.”
“Trying to divine her future?”
“I’d say it’s a pretty popular thing to do,” said Shiranui, lifting his eyebrows.
“I wouldn’t know. Have you heard of it before, Aria?
Across from me, Aria shook her head indicating that she hadn’t. Her long, pink pigtails flew through the air back and forth like a Japanese pellet drum. Aria, by the way, was currently cramming her mouth with peach buns, so she would be silent for a while.
“I’m sure you know what it is, Tohyama. It’s that game where you pluck the petals from a flower one by one and say to yourself ‘he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not.’”
Oooh. That. To think that there’s somebody who still does that in this era. That girl really is a living natural monument.
“Unfortunately, she caught me watching and then the warning bell for the first period went off, so she didn’t finish the divination. But her eyes seemed to be filled with tears. So ... why did you two break up? Did the love grow cold or something?”
I heard Aria gag from the mouthful of the peach bun getting caught in her throat.
Don’t mention the word love. It causes children to overreact.
“Are you serious? I have no idea how you came to that conclusion. Shirayuki and I aren’t even in that kind of relationship. We’re just childhood friends.”
“Childhood friends, huh? That’s certainly a popular choice of words for dodging the matter. According to rumors, Kanzaki got jealous and opened fire on Hotogi. That’s why I’m thinking that you and Kanzaki hit it off, and the two girls duked it out to determine who would have you ... After all, Kanzaki is always talking about you at Assault. She seems to having a lot of fun doing so too.”
Aria H. Kanzaki went bright red and with a little difficulty, managed to swallow down her peach bun.
“Y-Y-Y-You pervert!”
“Ngh!”
For some reason, a punch came flying into my face.
What gives? This can’t be right. If you’re gonna punch anyone, it should be Shiranui.
“I’m going to make myself perfectly clear. The reason I drove off Shirayuki wasn’t because I was j-jealous or anything like that. Kinji and I are partners. There’s no l-love or anything else involved. There’s absolutely, positively, definitely nothing like that going on. Those are my real, honest, true feelings!”
You don’t have to deny it so vehemently.
/> “Oh, is that so? Well then, Tohyama, does that mean you and Hotogi might get back together again?”
“Why do you keep making it sound like we’re a couple? Besides, Shiranui, there’s something funny about your story. When the warning bell rang this morning, I came across Shirayuki in the hallway on school grounds, and she ran into the girl’s restroom without so much as a ‘hello.’ That means whoever you saw, it wasn’t Shirayuki. Furthermore, I don’t recall asking for your personal opinion regarding whether I make up with Shirayuki or not.”
“Now that you mention it, I guess you didn’t. Sorry about that,” Shiranui apologized with the smile of a saint on his face and didn’t press the issue any further. Taking his gaze off me, he turned to Aria and whispered, “Tohyama’s in a bad mood, isn’t he.”
As for Muto ... he had a strange look on his face that suggested he had a question for me but wasn’t going to ask now. Muto’s face is always strange though.
“By the way, Shiranui ...”
I didn’t want to be grilled over the subject of Shirayuki anymore, so I decided to change the flow of the conversation.
“What are you going to do about the Adsiard? Weren’t you elected to be our school’s representative or something?”
The Adsiard is an international tournament in which various butei high schools participate once a year. In terms of sports, it’s like an interscholastic athletic meet or the Olympics. But unlike the Olympics, which is an event symbolizing peace, the Adsiard consists of nothing but questionable contests in which members of Assault and Snipe compete.
“I probably won’t be participating in any of the events. I’m a substitute.”
“So you’ll just be helping out with the events then? What are you gonna be doing? You have to help out in some way, right?”
“I haven’t decided yet. What to do, what to do?” said Shiranui with a listless sigh that could easily make any girl fall for him in a second.
On the other side of the table, Muto started to stuff his face wildly with a fried noodles sandwich. There was a noodle sticking out from the corner of his mouth.
“Are you gonna take part in the Adsiard, Aria?” I asked.
“I’m not participating in any of the events, either. I was chosen to be the representative for the shooting match but I declined.”
“Then you’re gonna be helping out too, I guess. Have you decided what you’re going to be helping out with?”
“I’ll be doing the cheerleading for the opening ceremony.”
“Cheerleading …? Oh, you’re talking about Ar-kata.”
Ar-kata is a butei term that comes from a combination of the Italian word for weapon, “arma,” and the Japanese word for form, “kata.” It’s a parade in which martial arts, knives, and guns are incorporated into a cheerleading routine. The girls at our school don’t think twice about simply calling it “cheerleading.” “Kinji, you should help out too. You are my partner. You don’t care what you help out with anyway, right?”
“I ... guess not ...”
The whole purpose of the show is to improve the image of this profession called “butei,” which isn’t exactly seen in the best light in the eyes of the public. As such, it’s probably wise to make it look as cute as possible, so girls in cheerleader uniforms are the only ones dancing around. Guys have the less ostentatious role of performing band music in the back.
“Music, huh? Well, I’m not particularly good or bad at it. I guess that’ll do.”
“Ah, if Tohyama’s going to be part of the band, then maybe I will too. Muto, why don’t you join the band with us?” suggested Shiranui, directing another smile at Muto and I that felt like a cool breeze.
Man, that’s a perfect set of teeth you got there.
“The band, huh? That could be pretty cool. Alright, I’m in.”
Muto’s coming along for the ride. These two sure do like to act on a whim. I’m not one to talk though.
“... But Kanzaki,” said Shiranui, “it was such a waste for you to turn down the offer of being a representative. It’s a pretty popular story so I’m sure you’ve heard, haven’t you? If you win a medal in the Adsiard, you’ll have a bright future ahead of you. You can get into Butei University solely on recommendation, and it’ll look great on your resume when you’re job hunting. Word is, you can land a job at the Bureau of Butei or even join a top-ranking, privately owned butei firm of your choosing.”
“I’m not concerned about stuff that far ahead in the future. There’s something I have to do at this very moment. I don’t have time to be training for a competition.”
“Something I have to do.” Judging from the determination I could hear in Aria’s voice, I was fairly certain she was referring to helping her mother, Kanae Kanzaki. In order to rescue her mother, who had been incarcerated for crimes she did not commit, Aria was destined to combat and arrest the hordes of criminals. Riko Mine Lupin the Fourth, the “butei killer” whom we fought with previously, is one of the criminals who are truly responsible for charges being held against Kanae. And the same thing applied to me, Aria’s partner. Riko, who barely escaped from us during the hijacking incident, was also responsible for the death of my older brother. At the very least, that case was one I’d have to see to the end eventually. There was also the fact that … Riko was speaking as if my brother, who died while on duty, were still alive. I wager it was just a lie she told to rile me up, but to be honest, it was still causing me a little concern.
“The Adsiard can wait,” continued Aria, crossing her arms and leaning her upper body backwards. I think she was trying to create a situation in which she could look down at me since I was so much taller. She was only one hundred and forty-two centimeters. “Kinji, I have to whip you into shape first.”
“... W-Whip? You guys better not be into any weird hardcore stuff ...” said Muto, his cheeks twitching as he looked at Aria and me.
“Muto, don’t get started. I’ve already been through this with Shirayuki. And Aria ... at least call it “combat instruction” when others are around.”
“Stop your complaining. You’re my slave, so I can whip you all I want.”
You said “partner” just a little while ago. I’m demoted to a slave when it fits your convenience, am I?
“Now that I think about it, just how exactly do you plan on whipping me into shape?”
“Hmmm... For starters, as of tomorrow, you’re going to be doing morning drills with me every day.”
Ugh.
From the looks of it, Aria had just now come up with this obnoxious plan to do morning drills and was sitting there with a satisfied look on her face as she muttered to herself that it was a good idea.
Damn. My plan backfired. I never should have brought up the Adsiard.
Seven o’clock the next morning.
I woke up early and made my way to the meeting place, just like Aria ordered me to last night—with her pistols stuck into my back of course.
“Guess who.”
Aria had come up from behind and placed her hands over my eyes. When I turned around, I found myself speechless for a moment.
S-She looks so cute.
“Jeez. How could you let yourself be taken from behind like that? You’ve got a long ways to go.”
Aria, standing up as straight as she possibly could and with her hands on her hips, was in a cheerleader uniform. The cheerleaders of Butei High wore a rather unusual uniform; the primary color is black and the sleeveless top had a small opening above the bust line, providing a view of Aria’s pure white skin. I’m sure that normally, this hole would be in the shape of a heart or a star, but the way it was shaped like a bullet was most befitting of Butei High. Lowering my eyes to the skirt in trepidation, I noticed it was so short that it was permanently gun flashing (gun flash: a glimpse of the pistol hidden under a girl’s skirt. Coined by idiot Muto.)
“W-What’s with that getup?”
“You can’t tell? It’s a cheerleader uniform. Is there no limit to your ignor
ance?”
“You’re the last person I want to hear that from. In any case, what I was asking was ‘Why are you dressed like that?’”
“Then say so, you dunce. I’m going to practice my cheer routine while I discipline you. If I do both simultaneously, it’ll save time, right?” said Aria, looking around in satisfaction of our surroundings, which are completely void of any people.
This area, located on the outskirts of the Mega-Float upon where Butei High was located, was known as “Behind the Signboard.” It’s a long, narrow strip of vacant land that lies between the school gym and an enormous signboard that was set up facing Rainbow Bridge. Aria had only transferred to the school recently, but she quickly spotted this area because it’s almost always deserted and decided to make it our training grounds. Apparently, she was also planning on using this area to practice for the Ar-kata as well.
“. . . So? What am I supposed to be doing?”
“Ahem.” Cheerleader Aria pretended to clear her throat and putting on airs, drew herself up again.
It’s these little gestures of hers that make her look so childish. I’ll admit that it’s cute, but it’s also irritating.
“As far as I’m concerned, you’re an S-rank butei.”
“Only as far as you’re concerned, yeah.”
“No back talk.”
Seeing Aria reach for her pistols, I kept silent for my own safety.
“Being categorized as an S-rank Assault member means having the same combat strength as a Special Forces military unit.”
You’re crazy.
“That’s the kind of potential you have. You can do better if you try. But the problem is you’re unable to use your abilities freely. That’s why what we need is a “key” to awaken your powers.”
Professor Aria, lecturing like an expert. Never would she guess that she was that “key.”
“So after the hijacking incident I did some research—on multiple personalities, that is.”
Multiple personalities? Hehe. Incorrect.
Hysteria mode wasn’t a psychogenic acquired characteristic. It was a neurogenic inherited characteristic. In other words, multiple personality disorder is a completely different matter. But ... I decided to act impressed and said a few words to that effect.
Aria the Scarlet Ammo (novel), Volume 2 Page 2
